by Amy Clipston
Lindsay shook her head. “Onkel Daniel tried to talk to him on Monday, but Matthew still insists he’s leaving this Friday. Onkel Daniel is going to try again, but it sounds like his mind is made up.”
“Jake has tried too.” Katie frowned. “I don’t understand why he won’t stay and try to work it out, but Jake said he was serious.”
“I know.” Lindsay pointed toward the bakery. “We should go back inside and get to work.” As she walked past her cousin, Katie grabbed her arm.
“Don’t give up on him.” The conviction in Katie’s blue eyes seemed fierce. “He loves you, and he’s going to realize leaving you would be the worst mistake he could make. You have to believe he won’t get on that bus.”
“I’m trying.” Lindsay forced a smile, but the ache in her heart only worsened.
Chapter Seven
Sherm, this is Matt again,” Matthew said in his voice mail Friday night. “I just want to confirm plans. I bought my bus ticket today, and I’m leaving in the morning.” He recited his itinerary. “I sold my horse and buggy to one of my freinden, so I’ll have money to give you for rent.” He paused. “I’ll see you tomorrow evening. Danki again for the job. Good-bye.”
After hanging up, Matthew stepped out of the phone shanty and looked toward the far end of the pasture. His half-built house stood staring at him like a cruel, painful reminder of all the broken dreams he would leave behind in Bird-in-Hand.
This afternoon Daniel and Jake each begged him to stay, reminding him of how much Lindsay loved him and how much the community needed him. Daniel again offered him a loan, but Matthew refused it, insisting it was God’s will for him to go to Sugarcreek.
He felt as if he had a hole in his heart as he again remembered the hurt in Lindsay’s eyes when he broke up with her last week. He longed to go see her and say good-bye, but he knew he would never leave if he saw her one more time. Pushing the painful thoughts away, he headed into the house.
When he reached the kitchen, he found his sister and nieces already packing some of their dishes. He gave them a curt nod before rushing up to his room and closing the door. He surveyed the space, which looked bare now that the tops of his dresser and nightstand had been swept clean. Next to his bed sat two boxes of books he planned to leave behind for Suzanne and Ella.
He opened his dresser, pulled out socks, and dropped them into his duffel bag. Next he opened the drawer with his shirts and set them in the bag. When he removed the last shirt, he found an envelope and opened it. Inside was the card Lindsay gave him on Valentine’s Day. He opened it and read her pretty handwriting.
Dear Matthew,
Happy Valentine’s Day! While this day is special because we have each other, it’s also special because it’s our last Valentine’s Day as boyfriend and girlfriend. Just think—next Valentine’s Day we’ll be married, and we’ll be living in our very own haus.
I’m so very thankful God brought you into my life. You’re the kindest and most generous man I know. I’m so grateful you picked me to be your girlfriend and next your fraa! In only nine months we’ll be married, and we’ll start a new life together. We have so much to look forward to.
Danki for believing in me and for loving me. I’ll love you forever!
Always,
Lindsay
Tears burned as he read her note over and over. He stepped to his bed and sank down onto a corner as memories stormed his mind: The first time he met Lindsay, at a Kauffman family gathering. The time they sat together at a youth gathering and he made her a dandelion necklace. Their late-night talks on her uncle’s porch. The letters they wrote to each other when she was in Virginia Beach helping her parents’ friends. A tear trickled down his cheek.
How could he possibly walk away from Lindsay and allow someone else to snatch her up and marry her? She was the love of his life. She was his future.
“I can’t do this, God,” he whispered as he wiped the tear away. “I can’t leave Lindsay. And I don’t believe now you want me to, not with so much love in my heart for her. Have I misunderstood your will, just as Daniel thought? Please forgive me for stubbornly refusing to listen to those you’ve placed in my life to counsel me. But I’m still not sure what to do. You know my heart, God. Help me, please.”
After a few more minutes in prayer, Matthew set the card on his dresser and jolted down the stairs to find his sister. When he almost ran into the kitchen, Betsy spun from the sink and faced him, startled.
“Was iss letz?” She took a step toward him. “Have you been crying?”
“Ya.” He cupped his hand to the back of his neck, his breath coming in spurts. “I’ve been so confused.”
Betsy turned to his nieces, who stared up at him with confused expressions. “I’ll finish the dishes, maed. Would you please go get your baths?”
They nodded and then slipped past Matthew and up the stairs.
Betsy pointed to a kitchen chair. “Sit down and talk to me.”
Matthew slumped into the chair and placed both hands on top of his head.
“What’s going on?”
“I thought I could leave Lindsay, but I can’t do it. It rips me to shreds to think of her with someone else as her husband. God just showed me I love her too much to just walk away.” He stared down at the tabletop and ran his fingers over the wood grain. “I can’t leave Lindsay, but I can’t provide for her the way she deserves.” He paused. “The truth is I’m afraid I’m too much like Dat.”
“Oh, Matthew, you’re nothing like Dat. You just gave us all your money to help with our new start. Dat walked away and left us nothing. We survived only because our onkels helped pay the bills until you and Mamm moved here.”
He shook his head while keeping his gaze focused on the table. “It’s my responsibility to care for my family. I can’t promise to support Lindsay if we have an uncertain future, can I? I don’t know what to do.”
“Did you ever think that by walking away from Lindsay you’re following in Dat’s footsteps?”
His gaze snapped to hers. “What did you say?”
She sighed. “Matt, you’re so worried about the future that you’re ignoring the present. You don’t see what’s in front of you. You and Lindsay love each other and you have your whole life ahead of you. You don’t need to know all the answers right now. What you need is a solid foundation of love, trust, and honesty on which to build your marriage. You have that. Everything else will fall into place because the Lord will provide for you.”
He stared at Betsy as her words sank in.
She gestured around the kitchen. “Earl and I weren’t expecting to lose our farm, but we’re going to get through this together because we love each other and believe in our marriage. We know God will take care of us. You should rely on God and have faith in Lindsay. That’s all you really need.”
Matthew nodded as the answer came through loud and clear. With God’s help, he and Lindsay could make their life and their marriage work—if she still believed in him and would forgive him.
“I need to go talk to her.” He stood. “Danki.”
Betsy smiled. “Gern gschehne.”
Matthew rushed outside just as Earl was stepping out of the barn.
“Earl! Could I please borrow your horse and buggy?”
Earl blinked and then nodded. “Ya, of course.”
“Danki!” Matthew rushed into the barn, praying he wasn’t too late.
Lindsay was setting a clean dish in the cabinet when she heard a knock on the back door. She was afraid to hope it could be Matthew. “Who could that be?”
Aenti Rebecca nodded toward the door. “Go and see.”
Lindsay dropped her dish towel on the counter and hurried through the mudroom. When she pulled open the back door, she gasped. Matthew stood on the porch with his hat in his hand.
“Lindsay.” He twirled the hat, looking uncertain. “Could I please talk to you?”
“Ya, of course.” She slipped her hand into her apron pocket to run her fingers ove
r the wooden heart he’d given her. She’d kept it in her pocket all week, hoping it would give her strength as she faced losing him, perhaps forever.
He pointed toward the glider on the porch. “Would you sit with me?”
She stepped outside, sat down, and held her breath while fighting back tears. Please don’t tell me good-bye! Please stay!
“I was packing my things and came across the card you gave me for Valentine’s Day.” His eyes seemed to plead with her as he sat down beside her. “Do you remember what you wrote in that card?”
“Ya. I said something about how it was our last Valentine’s Day as boyfriend and girlfriend and next Valentine’s Day we would be married.”
“Right.” He took her hands in his as his face clouded with what looked like despair. “I have a bus ticket for Sugarcreek tomorrow, and I sold my horse and buggy. My things are almost all packed, but I have a problem.”
“What’s that?” She blinked back tears.
“I don’t know how to leave you, but I also don’t know how to stay.” His voice trembled.
“I don’t understand.”
“I love you, Lindsay.” His eyes searched hers as if they held all the answers he needed. “Before I came over, God helped me see how my love for you means everything and I might have been misunderstanding what his will is for my life and yours. And then I talked to mei schweschder. I told her I don’t see how I can stay and take care of you the way a man should take care of his fraa. But she believes with God’s help we can have a future even if it’s uncertain. Do you think that’s true? Tell me how I can make this work.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” she whispered. “I don’t want to lose you. I don’t care where we live as long as we have each other, and I do believe God will provide.”
She pulled the wooden heart out of her pocket and handed it to him. “You once told me to take care of your heart for you, and that’s what I want to do—if you’ll let me.”
He held up the heart as a soft noise escaped his throat. He shook his head. “I can’t believe you still carry this. Not after—”
“Excuse me.”
Lindsay’s head spun toward Onkel Daniel’s voice. He was standing at the bottom of the porch steps.
“Daniel.” Matthew popped up from the glider and slipped the heart into his pocket. “I didn’t see you there.”
“I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but I overheard your conversation.” He climbed the steps. “I have a proposition for you. Would you like to talk now?”
“Ya, of course.” Matthew nodded at Onkel Daniel, and his expression brightened slightly. “What do you want to discuss?”
Onkel Daniel came to stand beside Matthew. “You’re like a sohn to me. You know that, right?”
Matthew nodded. “Ya. You’ve always been like a dat to me, the dat I never had.”
“Well, we don’t abandon our families, do we?”
Matthew shook his head.
“Isn’t that why you gave Betsy and her family your money?”
“Ya, it is.” Matthew cleared his throat. “I wanted to help them.”
Onkel Daniel leaned back against the porch railing and crossed his arms over his chest. “Exactly, and I’d like to help you. I want you to stay with us.” He pointed toward the house. “We have an extra bedroom Rebecca uses as a sewing room. We can make that into your bedroom and move the sewing supplies into a corner of our schtupp. What do you say?”
Lindsay cupped her hand over her mouth and swallowed a gasp as she experienced a flood of appreciation.
Matthew stared at her uncle.
“Well, Matthew? What do you think?” Onkel Daniel asked. “You and Lindsay can still get married.” He pointed to the floor of the porch. “You can save money and build a life right here. Does that sound gut?”
“Ya, ya, of course,” Matthew finally said, his head bobbing up and down.
“Gut.” Onkel Daniel shook his head. “It’s settled, then. You’ll stay here in Bird-in-Hand with us.”
“Wait.” Matthew held up his hands. “I want to pay you rent while I live here.”
Onkel Daniel frowned. “We can talk about that later.” He turned toward Lindsay. “I’ll let you two visit.” Then he winked at her before heading into the house.
As soon as the door clicked shut, Lindsay jumped up from the glider. “So you’ll stay?”
“Ya.” Matthew’s smile was wide. “I will.”
“And you’ll let Onkel Daniel make a room for you here?” She stood in front of him, sure he could see new hope in her eyes.
“Ya, I will.” He rested his hand on her shoulder. “Will you forgive me and still marry me?”
“Of course I will.” She gazed up at him and happiness warmed her soul. “I never stopped loving you.”
He leaned down, and her breath hitched. He brushed his lips across hers, sending her stomach into a wild swirl. She closed her eyes, savoring the sweet taste of his mouth against hers.
When they parted, Matthew’s look was intense. “You’re my first and only love, Lindsay. I’m sorry for hurting you, and I’ll do my best to never hurt you again.”
As he pulled her close, Lindsay silently thanked God for sending Matthew back to her. Only in his arms did she feel truly at home.
Epilogue
Lindsay was filled with happiness as she stood beside Matthew outside Onkel Daniel’s barn. She shivered in the November air as she threaded the fingers of one hand with her husband’s. The day had finally come—they were married! She was now Lindsay Glick, and her life couldn’t be more perfect.
The past six months had flown by at lightning speed. When Earl and Betsy left with their daughters for Western Pennsylvania at the end of May, Matthew moved in with Lindsay and her family. Onkel Daniel had kept his promise and turned the sewing room into a bedroom for him. She and Matthew had been saving their money and hoped to someday soon either start building a house of their own or add on to Onkel Daniel’s house.
Lindsay glanced toward the back porch and smiled when she spotted Jessica talking with their cousins and Jessica’s boyfriend, Kevin. Jessica won the job at the accounting firm in Philadelphia and soon after had met and started dating Kevin. Lindsay was thrilled to have her sister living close-by so they could visit on weekends.
“Congratulations,” Onkel Daniel said as he and Aenti Rebecca sidled up to them.
“Danki,” Lindsay said as she squeezed Matthew’s hand.
Matthew nodded. “Ya, danki.”
“We haven’t had a chance to give you our wedding gift yet.” Aenti Rebecca smiled at Onkel Daniel.
“You’re right.” Onkel Daniel grinned back at her. “I think now is the perfect time.” He turned to Lindsay and Matthew again. “Becky and I would like to give you ten acres.” He nodded toward the pasture behind them. “And we’d like to help you build a haus.”
Lindsay gasped, and she couldn’t stop the tears as she looked at her new husband. He seemed stunned.
“Are you sure?” Matthew looked at Aenti Rebecca, then again at Onkel Daniel.
“Of course we are.” Daniel shook Matthew’s hand. “We’re family, and we want to help you.”
“Danki.” Matthew’s voice shook with emotion.
“Gern gschehne.”
Lindsay hugged her aunt. “Danki for everything.”
“I’m so froh for you,” Aenti Rebecca whispered in her ear. Then she turned to Onkel Daniel. “We should check on the kinner.” She took hold of his hand and they walked toward the house.
“We’re going to have a haus!” Lindsay exclaimed as the couple walked away. “What a wunderbaar gift.”
“I know.” Matthew took a deep breath as his golden-brown eyes glistened in the light of a nearby lantern. “I’m so sorry I almost left you. All that matters is we have each other and our family. Building a haus may take time, but that’s okay. This is the path God wanted for me all along, and I’m so very grateful—to him and for you.”
“I’m grate
ful too. Everything is working out the way God intended. We have each other and our family, and everything else will fall into place.” Her pulse sped up as she looked up into his eyes. “I knew it was all going to be okay after you agreed to live with us.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You never had any doubts?”
“No, none at all.” She touched his elbow. “That’s because I never lost faith in you or in us. Mei aenti, Jessica, and Katie told me not to lose faith, and I held their words close to my heart.”
“Hold out your hand.” He pulled something out of his pocket.
She turned her hand palm up, and when he dropped the wooden heart into it, she said, “I gave this to you the night you decided to stay.”
“I kept it because I wanted to give it back to you on our wedding day. Will you still take care of my heart?”
“I’ll guard it with my life.” She ran her fingers over the smooth wood and then dropped it into the pocket of her apron.
Matthew ran his finger down her cheek. “Danki. I will do my best to take gut care of you.”
“I know you will.” She squeezed his hand.
As Matthew leaned down to kiss her cheek, Lindsay closed her eyes and silently thanked God for her husband—and for giving her a home of her own.
Discussion Questions
1. Matthew is devastated when he learns his sister and her husband are going to lose their farm and he’ll lose his house. Think of a time when you felt lost and alone. Where did you find your strength? What Bible verses helped you? Share this with the group.
2. Daniel helps Matthew decide to stay by offering to give him a room in his house. Why do you think Daniel felt compelled to open his house up to Matthew?
3. Lindsay feels God is giving her a second chance when Matthew decides to stay. Have you ever experienced a second chance? What was it?
4. Which character can you identify with the most? Which character seemed to carry the most emotional stake in the story? Was it Lindsay, Matthew, or someone else?
5. Betsy and Earl believed they were shielding Matthew from hurt when they kept the truth about their financial problems from him, but it’s still painful when Matthew finds out. Do you think Betsy and Earl’s decision to withhold that information was justified? Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? If so, how did it turn out? Share this with the group.
