The Christmas Hope

by VanLiere, Donna

  “It sure is,” I yelled, throwing open my arms. “Merry Christmas!”

  Mark came out of the hall bathroom dressed and ready for the day. “Merry Christmas,” he yelled. Girl barked and ran down the stairs. Mark picked Emily up and ran down the stairs, showing her the tree.

  Her jaw dropped. “Did Santa come?”

  “He sure did,” Mark said.

  “He knew I was here?”

  “Just take a look.”

  He set her down and she walked to the tree, looking at the names on the gifts. “That’s my name,” she said, looking for the tag on each present. “They’re for me. He did know I was here. I don’t believe it!”

  I sat down next to her on the floor. “Greta and Hal really want to be here as you open your gifts. Can you wait thirty minutes?”

  She shook her head.

  “Can you wait twenty-five minutes?”

  She nodded.

  I laughed and reached for the phone. “Are you up?” I asked Mom. “Because Emily’s ready to open!”

  I hung up the phone and dialed Greta and Hal. Hal answered again. “Are you up?” I said, louder than usual. “Are you up?” I was shouting this time.

  Emily giggled.

  Greta answered the phone. “Are you ready to unwrap gifts?” I asked.

  “Oh, my, yes,” she said. “Hal, go get your hearing aids in. Your hearing aids. Your ears.” She was shouting into the phone. “Right. Go get them. We’ll be over just as soon as I can get some pants on Hal. I’ve got everything ready.”

  Mark made a fire and put on a pot of coffee to brew. Emily didn’t move from the tree. I was able to convince her to use the bathroom and wash her face and brush her teeth before everyone arrived. When she finished she took her place in front of the tree again. Within minutes the house was buzzing. Mom arrived carrying an enormous coffee cake loaded with nuts and raisins and gooey stuff that ran down the side of it. Greta arrived with a huge bowl of mixed fruit (to offset the calories and fat of the coffee cake). With coffee cups in hand we gathered in the living room. Emily couldn’t wait any longer. She opened the Easy Bake oven first and her eyes popped out. “I’ve wanted this since I was little,” she said. Greta and Hal had bought her a new winter coat. It was pink with large round pink buttons and fake white fur around the collar. She tried it on and looked like a tiny Audrey Hepburn. The books came next and she flipped through each one looking at the pictures and pretending to read. I looked at the faces in the room and realized it didn’t matter that there wasn’t a gift under the tree for any of us. This wasn’t about us. Emily propped her new baby doll in the stroller and covered her with a little blanket. “I’ll be done in a minute,” she said to the doll. “Then we can play.” I snapped a picture but Emily didn’t notice. With each gift that was opened we all said “Ooh” and “Ahh” or “Wow, isn’t that nice!” She opened the jewelry box from Roy and wound up the ballerina so she would dance for us. Emily put strands of beads around her neck and lined her wrist with dangly plastic bracelets. Roy was right again; she loved it. I took another picture and found myself smiling the whole time. I couldn’t stop; neither could Mark. I hadn’t seen him so excited in years. He handed her a small box and Emily shook it, wondering what was inside. She ripped into the paper and pulled out a small cross, covered with pink stones.

  “That’s from your mom,” Greta said, watching her. Emily held it in her hands and stared at it. She turned it over and saw there was engraving on the back.

  “What does this say?”

  Mark knelt down and looked over her shoulder. “It says, ‘For Emily. Love, Mom.’ And that word right there is ‘Christmas.”

  She ran her finger over the writing. “Can you put it on me?” Mark took it from her and put it around her neck. She picked it up and looked at it.

  “It’s beautiful, Emily,” Greta said. “It’s just absolutely beautiful.”

  Emily didn’t say anything but she nodded. One day she’d realize how special that little cross was. In the corner of my eyes I saw Mom brush a tear off her cheek. No one had expected a gift from Tracy but I was so glad Greta had found it. The Easy Bake oven and doll would last only for a little while but the necklace would be the gift that Emily would remember and keep for the rest of her life.

  Mark looked to the back of the tree. “Here’s the last one. Are you ready for it?”

  Emily nodded. He handed it to her and she tore through the paper. She opened the top of the box and lifted tissue paper to see the princess dress.

  She gasped and pulled it out of the box. “I told Santa I wanted this. This is my dress!” She pointed her foot and held it under her chin; then she swayed back and forth so she could see the layers of silk and crinoline flow.

  Mark showed her the tiara and put it on her head, then pulled out the pair of sequined plastic shoes. Emily scrambled out of her pajamas and Mark slid the dress over her shoulders. “May I, Your Majesty?” he asked, holding one of the shoes in front of her.

  She nodded and he helped her into both shoes. We all said “Aww” at the same time and she twirled for us. Hal clapped the loudest and Mom and Greta said over and over that she was more beautiful than either Snow White or Cinderella. I snapped several pictures in a row. Emily was beside herself. I didn’t know how long her happiness would last or when the sadness of her life would sneak up on her again but in that moment she was happy and so were Mark and I. I didn’t know how I could feel a sense of contentment in the middle of this tragedy but I did.

  It was over too soon. Greta bent down to wad up discarded wrapping paper. “It’s okay, Greta,” I said. “Just leave it.” If we cleaned everything up it would mean that the morning was slipping away and I wanted to hold on to it as long as I could. Mark and Hal helped Emily set up the Easy Bake oven while Mom, Greta, and I put coffee cake and fruit onto plates.

  “Thank you again for inviting us,” Greta said. “She means the world to us.”

  “She means the world to us, too,” I said, before realizing it. Mom didn’t react; she just licked her fingers and made yummy noises before picking a plate for Dad and carrying it into the living room. Emily wanted to visit Mia in the hospital before she started playing with her new toys. “I didn’t think we’d visit today since we were just there yesterday afternoon,” I said.

  “We have to go,” Emily said. “It’s Christmas and she’ll know she’s alone.” I thought maybe just the women would go but before I knew it, we had all piled into Mark’s SUV and Mom and Dad’s car for the short trip to the hospital. Mia was awake. When she saw Emily she smiled. Emily stuck a finger into Mia’s palm and gently bounced it up and down.

  “‘Silent night, holy night.’” Oh, no, she was singing again. Her voice was small and sweet. She looked at us hoping we’d join in as we had yesterday, and we did. Mom and Dad moved closer and joined us. They waved Hal and Greta over and there we stood, a ragtag group of carolers singing to a tiny heart patient on Christmas Day. “‘Sleep in heavenly peace,’” we sang, trying to harmonize as best we could. “‘Sleep in heavenly peace.’”

  We cheered for ourselves when we hit the last note and Greta started the next song. “‘Hark the herald angels sing,’” she began, searching for a note. Mom and I attempted to help her out. “‘Glory to the newborn king!’” Hal tried to clap but it clearly wasn’t working. Greta grabbed his hands so we could finish and what a finish it was! Mark took the low note, Mom attempted the high one, and the rest of us just kind of jumped in and hung on as best we could. It was lousy but wonderful. I hadn’t sung in years. Someone began to clap behind us.

  “How much can we pay you to entertain the whole unit?”

  We turned to see Dr. Andrews.

  “We’ll do it if you take the solos,” I said.

  He held up his hand. “I knew early on that I had a voice for medicine, not singing.”

  “You don’t even get a day off for Christmas?” I asked.

  “I got here at the crack of dawn. I don’t have a long day.
And it’s gotten a whole lot better seeing Emily this morning and hearing that beautiful singing.”

  We laughed, embarrassed at our lack of musical ability and wished him a Merry Christmas. We needed to get home; it was time to eat.

  That was one of the best days I can remember. We played games with Emily and Mom and Greta and I worked together in the kitchen to prepare the meal. Emily sat at the head of the table wearing her princess dress and then we all joined hands and Dad thanked God for the food, for Christ’s birth, and for new friends. We ate and laughed and played another game and ate some more, then went for a walk to the woods and ate even more. Though there were three men in the house we never turned the TV on to watch football or catch sports highlights of any kind. Somehow, without saying a word, we were all unified in making the day special for Emily. We listened to Hal tell stories of his childhood and Dad laughed so hard tears ran down his face. Emily didn’t understand half the stories but she laughed anyway, mostly at us. She served cake from the Easy Bake oven and though everyone was full to the brim, we each took a bite. Mark kept the fire going throughout the day and at eight o’clock when it was dying down Hal and Greta got up to leave. I couldn’t believe the day was over.

  Greta leaned down and hugged Emily to her. “Merry Christmas, darlin’,” she said, kissing her face. She hugged her so tight Emily caught her breath. I know that Greta worried that she’d never see her again. “I sure do love you,” she said.

  Emily patted her back. “I love you, too, Greta.”

  Hal got down on his knees and looked at Emily. “Can I get a peck right here?” he said, pointing to his cheek. Emily wrapped her arms around Hal’s neck and kissed him hard on the cheek. “Thanks for letting us spend Christmas with you.”

  Emily nodded and wrapped her arm around his leg.

  “You come see us anytime you can.” Hal’s voice started to break and Greta turned away. They didn’t want to cry. Not now. Greta kissed Emily again and they waved at Mark and me as they walked out the door.

  Dad helped Mom with her coat and she sat down at the kitchen table in front of Emily. “Merry Christmas, Emily. I can’t remember meeting someone that I’ve liked more.”

  Emily smiled and Mom pulled her closer, kissing her head.

  Dad extended his hand and Emily shook it like a big girl. “I’ve met a lot of fairy princesses in my life but you’re the sweetest, and by far you’re the prettiest.”

  Emily moved to my side, embarrassed. We said our good-byes and they walked to their car. I hated to see them go.

  I sat at the table and pulled Emily onto my lap. “You were the belle of the ball,” I said. “Are you tired?”

  She shook her head.

  “Would you like to take a bubble bath?”

  “Can Girl come, too?”

  I set her down. “She can’t get in the tub,” I said. “She’ll eat up all the bubbles!” Emily and Girl started up the stairs as I put the last few things into the refrigerator.

  “It was a great day, Patti.” I turned to see Mark standing at the island. He hadn’t called me Patti in years.

  “It was,” I said, smiling. “I think she had a good time. All things considered.”

  “I did, too,” he said. “It was a great Christmas.” Emily called me from the bathroom and Mark moved in next to me. “Go ahead. I’ll finish here.”

  By the time I walked into the bathroom Emily had bubbles up to her chin. Girl was up on her hind legs dipping her nose into the tub trying to move the bubbles away. Her head was covered and I laughed when I saw her. “She is trying to eat the bubbles,” Emily said, trying to push Girl away. Girl jumped up and stuck her head right in the center of the tub again.

  I yelled for Mark to bring the camera. He brought it in and snapped pictures of Girl looking as if her head was missing because it was buried beneath the foam, of Emily wearing bubbles on top of her head like a big frothy hat, and of Emily pushing Girl away before she jumped into the tub completely. It took forever to get the suds to go down the drain. I had to rinse Emily’s body off before I helped her out of the tub. I wrapped a towel around her and she laid her head on my shoulder. I hugged her and felt my heart flutter. How did I let myself get attached to this child? I combed her hair and blew it dry and then helped her into her pajamas.

  “We should take your necklace off before you go to bed,” I said.

  She wrapped her hand around it. “Where will you put it?”

  I laid it on the dresser. “Right here. We’ll put it back on first thing in the morning.” She watched as I laid it on the top of the dresser. I helped her into bed and leaned down to kiss her face. “Thank you for being here for Christmas.”

  She nodded and nestled into the pillow, holding Ernie and her new baby doll. She looked at me and grinned.

  “I better get Mark up here so he can kiss you good night, too.”

  I pulled the covers up onto her chest and she grabbed my hand. “Thank you, Patricia.” I kissed her all over her face before I called Mark. I walked toward the door and Girl jumped off the bed, following me. “Can she stay?” Emily asked.

  “I think she might need to go outside,” I said. “I’ll let her out and then she can come sleep with you.”

  Mark said good night while I opened the back door for Girl. I was unloading the dishwasher when Girl started to bark at something out front. I knocked on the front kitchen windows and she stopped. I put glasses into the cabinet but then heard Girl barking again. I walked to the front door and called her before she disturbed the neighbors. She ran up the front steps and I noticed a bag hanging on the doorknob. What in the world? I thought. The card attached to it said “Patricia.” I couldn’t imagine who had left it there.

  I stepped inside the door and took the bag into the living room. I dug through the gold tissue paper and found a tiny note folded on top of a gift wrapped in delicate green foil paper. It read “Found at the hospital.” My mind couldn’t process things fast enough. Did I leave something at the hospital when I was visiting Mia? I ripped into the paper and discovered a black velvet box. I lifted the lid and saw a beautiful antique pocket watch with elaborate engraving. What in the world? I thought again, trying to figure out who would have given me such a beautiful gift. I turned the watch over and discovered engraving on the back. “Mom, Always … S.”

  I gasped and fell onto the sofa. A note card with a gold embossed heart at the top was in the bottom of the box. I began to cry when I recognized Sean’s handwriting.

  Dear Mom,

  You always told me that the best Christmas gift I could ever give was the one I couldn’t wrap—the gift of time. That never made sense until I got older and saw how you gave your time to “your kids,” and to Dad and me. And I noticed that you never just gave your time at Christmas, Mom.You gave it away every day—24/7.

  At the very first Christmas, angels said, “I bring you good news of great joy for Everyone!” When I was little you told me that the good news was that God loves everyone (so much that He sent His Son to live here). A lot of people don’t know about God’s love but I know about it every time you hug me (how’s that for mushy?!). And every time I see you hug one of “your kids” I know they feel it, too. (Okay, enough mush. I need to move on!)

  You said your grandfather’s watch was “just a thing” but I know it was more than that to you: every time you looked at it you remembered time spent with him or the time you spend with Grandma. You warned me (lectured is more like it!) to be careful how I spent my time because before I knew it the day would be gone. So before another day and another Christmas got away I wanted to give this to you and thank you for being the best mom in the world and for giving me the gift of your time every day. I know you have to unwrap this, but in a way I’m giving you the gift of more time that we’ll be able to spend together!

  I love you, S

  Mark ran down the stairs and discovered me on the sofa. Tears streamed down my face as I held the watch and note for him to see. He took the watch from me
and read the note. He was stunned. He read the note again and looked back at the inscription on the watch. It didn’t make sense. How could this be from Sean? He looked at the note and watch again.

  “Who left this?” he asked.

  I shook my head.

  “How did they even know it was you or Sean or …” His voice started shaking and he sat down next to me.

  “I thought I heard the doorbell ring this morning when I was in the shower but with everyone here I forgot all about it,” I said. “I’m sure it’s been there all day.” I cried harder and held the watch close to me. Mark pulled me to him and I wrapped my hand tighter around the watch. I never wanted to let it go. “I miss him every single day,” I said. Mark wrapped his arms around me and I felt his tears on the back of my neck. “It’s gotten to the point where I can’t hear his voice anymore and I’m so afraid I won’t remember what he sounded like. I won’t remember what he sounded like when he’d run the through the door and say, ‘Hey, Mom. What’s up?’ I won’t remember what he sounded like when he’d say, ‘I love you.’ And I don’t ever want to forget.”

  “You won’t,” Mark said, wiping my face. “You won’t forget.” He walked into the kitchen and brought back a tiny cassette and the answering machine. He placed the cassette inside the machine, sat down on the sofa next to me, and pushed Play. It was Sean’s last message home on the night he died. I closed my eyes and tears streamed over my lips, into my mouth.