Live Like There's No Tomorrow (Summer Lake Book 12)

by SJ McCoy

  “Don’t you be sorry, hon. You do what you need to for yourself.”

  “Thanks Miss.”

  They walked in silence back to Ben’s car. “You can join everyone if you want to,” said Charlotte.

  “I don’t want to. I want to be with you. I’m happy for Emma and Jack, but I couldn’t face the celebrating. I just want us to go home, together. We don’t have to talk, we don’t have to do anything. I want to be with you, the last thing we need right now is to be apart.”

  When they got in the car she leaned across and rested her head on his shoulder. “I wasn’t trying to push you away. I want to be with you. I just didn’t want to make you come home and be sad with me when you could go and celebrate with the others.”

  Ben closed his eyes against the flash of anger that rose up at her words. “I wish you’d stop thinking like that. I wish you’d stop deciding what might be best for me. Do you really think that I’d be capable of celebrating right now?”

  She shook her head sadly. “No, I don’t, I’m sorry. I’m really not trying to push you away. I think what it comes down to is that I want you to need me as much as I need you, but I’m scared that you won’t. So, I offer you another option, something else that you might want to do, rather than just say you don’t want to be with me.”

  He looked deep into her eyes. “I understand the fear, but you need to get over it. You need to understand that there is nothing I would rather do, no one I would rather be with than you.” He reached across and stroked her cheek. “Please, don’t push me away anymore. We need to get through this together.”

  She cupped his hand and pressed her cheek into it. “That’s what I want more than anything. Take me home?”

  As he nodded, Ben understood what she was asking. It was time. Time for them to come together and not only face the pain of their past, but make a commitment to their future.

  ~

  When they got back to the house, Charlotte went through to the kitchen and poured them each a glass of wine. They went to sit outside on the deck. It was dark now and a huge moon was rising over the lake. They sat in silence for a long time, each lost in their own thoughts. Charlotte watched the moon as it rose in the sky. “You know, when I was a kid, I used to think the reflections of moonlight on the water were where it was still dripping.”

  Ben turned and smiled at her. “Imagination is a wonderful thing when you’re a kid.”

  “Yeah, it’s funny, when you’re a kid you imagine fun things, happy things, all the good things that can happen. When you grow up, you tend to see more of the bad stuff. You take what you’ve experienced and imagination seems to be limited by it, you can only imagine more bad stuff.”

  Ben shook his head sadly. “You can still imagine good stuff, if you dare. It’s just that it’s harder to do it when you’re aware of the risks. When life has hurt you, you try to prepare yourself for more hurt. You think you can protect yourself somehow, but you can’t. Hard as it is, it’s better to put yourself out there and look for the good. Otherwise you risk missing out.”

  Charlotte nodded. “That’s true. I guess we just have to be brave, don’t we?”

  “We do.”

  They returned to their silence. Charlotte let her mind drift where it wanted to go. She could see Emma and Jack’s smiling, happy faces and their adorable little Isabel. She could see Ben’s taillights pulling away down her grandparents’ driveway that last night before she left for Mexico. Angel’s face hovered before her eyes for a moment and then Alastair’s. “We’ve been through so much to get to this place where we are right now.”

  Ben turned and met her gaze. “We have; there’s been so much pain and heartache. If there’s more of it to come, I don’t know what we can do to avoid it.”

  “Me neither.”

  “How brave do you feel?”

  “Brave enough to jump right in with both feet. Brave enough to forget the past and embrace the future.”

  “Then you feel as brave as I do. I don’t want us to take our time anymore, Charlie. We’re not getting any younger. I want us to move forward into a new life together. I feel as though we’ve been marking time. We had to deal with the past and figure out who and where we are in the present, but now it’s time we get started on our future.”

  Charlotte leaned her head against his shoulder. “You’re right. I feel as though we’re finally back on the right path. We got off track and took this major detour for too many years. I don’t know why, but it feels as though little Isabel somehow gave us permission to move forward. I’ve been dreading her arrival, and today was hard, but somehow it feels like she’s telling us it’s time for a new beginning.” She looked up into his eyes and he nodded slowly.

  “It does. Yes, seeing her brought its pain, but somehow it also brought me some peace.”

  Charlotte blinked against the sting of tears. “A part of me still doesn’t want to feel any peace. I’ll never forget, never leave our child behind, but I do understand what you mean.”

  Ben wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “There is no way we’ll ever forget our little one. She’s a part of us and always will be. I think now we finally found our way back to each other, we need to live the hell out of every moment.”

  Charlotte smiled at that. “I agree.” She rested her hand on his thigh. “And I don’t see any reason why we shouldn’t start right now.”

  Ben met her gaze. “Are you sure?”

  “More sure than I’ve ever been of anything. We’ve avoided it because we both feel that making love to each other will cement our bond. Now we both know, we’re both clear that’s what we want. It’s time for us to move into our future, and that’s where our future starts.”

  Ben stood up and offered her his hand. She got up and led him inside, straight up the stairs, and into her bedroom. Her heart was racing, her hands were trembling. The time was finally here. Physically she’d wanted him from the first moment she’d seen him again. They could have made love at any point since she’d been back and it would have been good, she knew it. But it wouldn’t have been everything, it wouldn’t mean what it did now.

  Ben closed the bedroom door behind him and stopped just inside it. Charlotte took a step toward him and he rested his hands on her shoulders. “I love you, Ben,” she said as she untucked his shirt and pushed it up.

  Ben pulled it up over his head and off. Then he got rid of her top. He unfastened her jeans and pushed them down while she wrestled with his buckle. In a moment, they stood before each other in their underwear. He cupped her face between his hands and kissed her deeply. Charlotte stepped closer and looped her arms up around his neck, pressing the full length of her body against him. He felt so good, his arms around her, his hard, naked chest pressed against her, his hard-on pushing at her through her panties. He lifted his head and looked down into her eyes. She took hold of his hand and pulled him down onto the bed with her.

  When his lips came down on hers again, everything but the feel of him faded away. His hands moved over her; hers moved over him. His body was everything she remembered and more. Somehow her bra and her panties were gone. She stroked the palms of her hands over his broad, muscled back. He felt strong, reassuring, he was her rock. He always had been. He shifted his weight onto her, propping himself up on his elbows and looking down at her. His eyes were so full of love. She drew in a deep breath as he moved his hips. She spread her legs wider and moaned as his hot, hard head pushed at her entrance. She braced herself for the thrust that she knew would come. Instead she moaned again when his fingers closed around her breast and he began to move against her. It felt so good, her nipple was tingling, tight and erect in response to his touch. She was getting wetter with each movement of his hips. His cock felt so good, but it was rubbing against her, not moving inside her. “Please, Ben. I need you,” she breathed.

  He slid his hand down between them and tormented her clit. The way he stroked her, was taking her right to the very edge. He opened her up with his fingers and then
she felt him push at her entrance.

  “Do you want me?” he breathed.

  She nodded. She wanted him so badly she was gasping with every breath.

  “Tell me, Charlie.” He thrust his hips gently. Pushing so he was just inside her, and then he held still, looking deep into her eyes. “Tell me you want me. Tell me you need this.”

  “I want you, Ben. Oh God, I want you so much. I need you. I need you inside me. I need you to make me yours again. I need you to be mine again. I need—” She didn’t get to finish as he thrust hard and buried himself deep inside her. They both gasped and began to move as one. Her hands came up around his back as her hips moved with his. She clung to him as he thrust into her, over and over. He carried her away, back through space and time, back to the place where only the two of them existed. He was making her whole again, and making her fall apart at the same time. The pleasure was building and building; each time his hard shaft plunged into her, he carried her higher. She felt him tense and on the next stroke she came undone. Her orgasm tore through her and then she felt his release. They clung to each other as they flew away on a tide of pleasure.

  It was a long time before she finally came back down to earth—a long time, but Ben was with her the whole of it. She was lost in a dark universe filled with exploding stars, and he was by her, in her, and with her through all of it. Somewhere out there, they became one again. And this time she was determined, nothing would ever tear them apart again.

  When they finally lay still, she kissed the side of his neck. “Welcome home,” she whispered.

  He lifted his head and smiled down at her. “Welcome home yourself. I’m glad we made it.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ben smiled when he opened his eyes and saw the time. Eight o’clock on a Saturday morning and he was still in bed. In some respects, it shouldn’t be a surprise. He’d slept late every morning this week. He’d stayed here at Charlotte’s every night. After they’d made love that first time, he hadn’t been able to make himself go home. Well, that wasn’t true, it was just that his apartment didn’t feel like home anymore. Home was here with Charlotte or anywhere that Charlotte might be. He heard her moving around in the kitchen downstairs and he sat up.

  When he came down the stairs she turned and smiled at him. “Hey, sleepyhead. I wasn’t sure if I should wake you.” She poured him a cup of coffee and handed it to him. “You usually like to get an early start on changeover day.”

  He took the coffee with a smile. “I think that’s more a case of used to like to get an early start. I’m not sure I even want to go in this morning. I’d much rather stay here with you.”

  She shook her head at him. “People are going to think I’m a bad influence on you.”

  He went to her and slid his arms around her waist, dropping a kiss on her lips. “No, they’re not. You’re a good influence—the best. People have gone on at me my whole life for working too much and working too hard. Now I want to take it a bit easier and spend more time with you. Who could think that’s bad? And who cares what anyone thinks anyway? All that matters is you and me.”

  She smiled up at him and kissed the tip of his nose. “You say that now, but I know you’ll start getting twitchy at about ten o’clock when the calls and the problems start coming in. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love you to stay home and hang out with me, but I have work to do too.”

  “Yeah, you’re really busy getting most of Summer Lake online. When are you going to sit down and talk to me about what we can do for the resort.”

  “You’ll have to book an appointment, mister. Just like everyone else,” she said with a laugh. “And if you’re serious you’d better hurry up about it, my schedule’s getting pretty packed already.”

  “Okay, if I go into work this morning and sort out the problems will that give you enough time to do whatever you need to? Will you be free this afternoon?”

  “To talk about marketing the resort or to …”

  Ben hugged her to his chest and rubbed his hips against hers. “I was thinking more of the or option myself.”

  “Ooh, I could be persuaded.”

  “Good, I have a few persuasion tactics in mind.”

  She slapped his arm. “I’m sure you do, but we can’t get too carried away, you’ve got Gabe’s stag party tonight.”

  “And you’ve got Renée’s bachelorette party.” The way she frowned and shook her head had him concerned. “No? You’re not going?”

  “I haven’t actually been invited.”

  Ben raised an eyebrow. “I can’t believe that, I’m sure she just forgot to mention it. I know she’d be upset if you didn’t go because of an oversight like that.”

  Charlotte sighed. “That’s what I’ve been wrestling with. You see, Lily mentioned it earlier in the week, and she said that Angel was invited. I feel a little uncomfortable that maybe Renée wanted to include her and now she doesn’t want to make things awkward by having us both there.”

  Ben shook his head. “I’m sure Renée wouldn’t deliberately leave either of you out.”

  “Maybe, but you can see how it could be a little awkward?”

  “I can see it,” he admitted grudgingly. “But I wish it wasn’t that way. Honestly, I’m a little tired of explaining myself about something that never happened and was never going to.”

  Charlotte stepped back looking a little shocked. “I’m sorry. All I ever did was try to make sure that you weren’t making a mistake. All I wanted was for you to be happy no matter what.”

  Ben closed his arms around her again. “No, I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I didn’t mean I’m tired of explaining myself to you. I understand what you were trying to do, and I appreciate it. It’s just that you and everyone else saw something between Angel and me that I never saw.”

  Charlotte pursed her lips. “Maybe I was just brave enough to admit what I saw, and you weren’t.”

  “Whatever it was, it’s behind us. I think we’ve well and truly established that nothing is ever going to happen between Angel and me.” He smiled, hoping to make her relax again. “And that everything is going to happen between you and me.”

  He felt her relax in his arms as she smiled. “Everything?” She raised an eyebrow and sunk her fingers into his hair sending shivers running down his spine. “What kind of everything do you mean?”

  He dropped a kiss on her lips. “All kinds of everything.”

  She rubbed her hips against his. “This kind of everything?”

  He nodded and took hold of her hand leading her back upstairs. “Definitely this kind of everything,” he said with a smile as he lay her down on the bed.

  She pushed at his shoulder, making him lie on his back, and she straddled him with a smile. He reached up and closed his hands around her hips as she pulled her nightshirt up and off. He smiled at the sight of her gorgeous, naked body and then sucked in a deep breath as she pushed his boxers down and her long, cool fingers closed around him. “I like this kind of everything. Is this going to happen between us often?”

  He nodded, unable to speak for a moment as she worked her hand up and down the length of him. She lifted her hips and stroked herself with him. His fingers tightened around her hips at the sound of her moan. “You feel so good, Ben.”

  He nodded. It did feel good, but he needed to be inside her. She was tormenting him, lowering herself onto him the slightest little bit, letting his head push inside her wetness and then lifting her hips again, leaving him out in the cold. He closed his hands around her hips and pulled her down hard as he thrust deep. He moaned as she closed around him and began to move with him. “I can promise you, this is going to happen very often,” he breathed.

  She smiled down at him, and the sight of her smile and her breasts moving above his face almost took him over the edge. “Every day?” she asked.

  He nodded. He couldn’t focus on forming words, only on the feel of her velvety wetness closing around him with each thrust. She was riding him hard, grinding her hips ag
ainst his. He was at her mercy and he was loving it.

  “Every day for the rest of our lives?” Her eyes were serious now. He was right at the point of no return and she slowed her movements, forcing him to do the same, and keeping him at the point of exquisite torture. He was going to come at any moment, but he wanted to hang here, right on the edge with her. “Forever and always?”

  “Yes!” Forever and always was their promise, their motto, their theme for a lifetime and hearing her say it now took him crashing over the edge. He came hard, his release sending shockwaves from his scalp to his toes.

  “Forever and always, Charlie,” he gasped as he felt her tighten around him. She came with him, their bodies moving frantically together, carrying each other away, and finally making the commitment they’d waited a lifetime for.

  When they were both showered and dressed, he made a fresh pot of coffee and poured them each a cup. “Do you have time to come sit outside and drink this with me?” he asked.

  “I do,” she said with a smile. “I can get on with my work at any point. Are you sure you can spare the time?”

  He nodded and led her out onto the deck. “I am sure. You don’t need to check with me all the time, seriously, Charlie. It’s okay. I was a workaholic when we were kids because I had big dreams. I’ve been a workaholic all these years because I was achieving my dreams for the resort and because I thought all my dreams had died.” He smiled at her. “Now my dreams are coming true and I’m not going to screw that up by spending all my time at work.”

  She smiled and took a sip of her coffee then stared out at the lake, seemingly lost in thought. “I’d like to be a part of your dream, you know.”

  Ben stared at her. “You are my dream, Charlie. You’ve always been my dream, you must know this. What do you think I meant when I said my dreams are coming true? I meant that you’re here and we’re back together.”

  She put a hand on his arm and smiled. “Sorry, that came out wrong. You and me, us being together, that is the dream, our dream. It always has been. What I meant was about the resort. That’s always been your dream too. I know that. I’d like to be a part of it, I’d like to help you build it. That was why I decided to do marketing in the first place. And all the years we were apart, all the things I learned, it was always in my mind that one day, maybe, I’d be able to use it here, to help you grow the place like we talked about.”