by Lexy Timms
I knew that I should make sure no one in the office thought I was going to get involved with Abby, but that would mean telling them all that I had been involved with Abby in the first place. It was sure to just make things even more awkward. But I didn’t want to hear them say things like “good luck.” They shouldn’t be wishing that to their boss.
I couldn’t help staring at Abby as I watched her chat excitedly with Erin. She looked good. Her hair was pinned up in an elaborate braid, a couple of wispy strands framing her animated face. She was wearing a bright green cardigan over a black-and-white striped shirt, and she looked cute and young and fresh. I had to remind myself that I needed to keep things PG. I wondered if I was going to be able to.
But Abby had been clear that we needed to stop whatever was between us. I had to respect that. I forced myself to look down at the papers on my desk and quit staring at her. At least while she chatted with Erin, I had a moment to compose myself. As if that would help anything.
Abby tapped on my door before she entered. She smiled at me, but she seemed nervous as she sat down across from me, wringing her hands in her lap.
I gave her a tight smile. “Don’t worry,” I confessed in a low voice. “I’m not really sure how I should behave, either.” The words were out of my mouth before I could really think them over, and I could have kicked myself for saying them. That was probably the last thing she needed to hear right now. She probably thought I wasn’t even going to try to restrain myself now.
Abby looked surprised and then smiled at me. I could practically see her relax a little. “I’m sorry about everything,” she said. “I have gotten some clarity over the past two weeks, so that’s been good.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” I said, even though I felt some amount of trepidation about what kind of clarity she might have gotten. Did I even want to know?
Sure enough, her next words were like a knife to the heart. “This is just the way that it has to be for now. I like my life, and I value my privacy. I don’t want to be caught up in media drama.”
I nodded at her, trying to hide my disappointment. Well, what had I really expected? That she would come back in here and tell me that she had made a mistake, that she didn’t want to cool things off between the two of us?
Maybe I had, I admitted to myself. The truth was, I had expected her to quit. When she’d told me that she wanted to take a couple weeks off but that she was sure that she still wanted to keep working for me, I guess maybe I’d let myself think that the two weeks were enough time for us to cool off too. That once she came back, we would go right back to what we’d been doing before.
Could I really have been that stupid? Her return to work there was even more reason for her to not want to get involved with me again.
Still, what else could I say to her? I nodded. “I understand.” I cleared my throat and gestured at the papers on my desk. “We have a pretty busy schedule today, so I guess we should get started. Were you able to review the documents I sent you last week about our latest projects?”
“I did,” Abby said, entirely business-like as she nodded at me. I tried not to deflate at the easy way that she clearly forgot all about her feelings for me. If only I could dismiss my own feelings as easily.
Chapter 4
Abby
I FORCED MYSELF TO listen to what Daniel was telling me about our first meeting of the morning, but to be honest, I was having a difficult time concentrating on what he was saying. I couldn’t stop thinking about how good it was just to see him again.
Not that he looked very good. The bags under his eyes were deeper than they’d been before, and he looked like he hadn’t slept since the drama with Gerrard. I wondered if he was that worried about things between us, or if it had to do with the company. Maybe there was something he wasn’t telling me.
Because surely he wasn’t that upset that things couldn’t work out between us, right? He had said that he didn’t really know how to act, but I could tell that was just something he had said to make me a little less nervous, to put me at ease. Otherwise, he was 100 percent professional, and I felt like I was the only one who had thought that, I don’t know, maybe my return here would prompt him to say something really cheesy about how we couldn’t go on like this, how he needed me in his life or...or something.
I knew that he and I couldn’t be involved with each other. I had meant it when I told him that I wanted to focus on my career and that I liked my privacy. I really didn’t want to be caught up in a media shitstorm. I was still trying to recover from the last one, two weeks later.
But he treated me like just any other employee. And that hurt me more than I’d expected it could.
I swallowed hard and suddenly stood up. “Sorry, I drank a lot of coffee this morning,” I told Daniel. “I’m just going to duck into the restroom real fast.”
Daniel looked taken aback. “Oh! No problem,” he said, shuffling some papers on his desk. He turned his attention to whatever was there in front of him. I slipped out of his office, feeling like a coward.
In the bathroom, I leaned against the sink, looking at myself in the mirror. “You idiot,” I told myself succinctly. Had I really thought I could just walk back in here and take up my position as his advisor again? Too much had happened between us, even in that short time I had been working there before the fight with Gerrard.
I didn’t like that it was apparently so easy for Daniel to be rid of me. I had thought that the media was wrong, that he wasn’t just some player. Matt and Leanne had tried to tell me, but I had assured them that they were wrong. That Daniel really cared for me. But even if he had once cared for me, it seemed that he had already moved on. Two weeks, and he was ready to pretend that he had never had any sort of feelings for me, not even lust.
I sighed and splashed water on my face. I should be happy. In making it seem like he had never been interested in me in the first place, and in making me realize that he really was every bit the player that the media made him out to be, he was making it easy for me to keep working there. But it still hurt.
I had just thought that he was different. How could I have been so wrong?
“You doing okay?” Erin asked suddenly from behind me.
I whirled around, trying not to look guilty. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I told her. “Why?” I frowned suspiciously. “Daniel didn’t send you to check on me, did he?”
Erin shook her head. “Of course not,” she said.
“Of course?” I echoed dully. It didn’t surprise me that she thought it was crazy for Daniel to have asked her to come check on me, but yet again, that didn’t make me feel any better.
Erin looked puzzled, but slowly, realization dawned on her face. She grinned at me. “All I mean is, you’ve given him the opportunity to have a mental breakdown of his own in the privacy of his office. He wasn’t about to come ask me to check on you; he’s too busy trying to pretend that he’s not upset, either.”
I sighed and pressed my fingers together. “I can’t date him,” I said, then snorted bitterly. “Not that he wants to. I doubt he’s having any sort of breakdown right now. Actually, if I didn’t know better, if I didn’t know that I would have already read about it in the news if it was so, I’d think that he must have moved on to someone else already. He doesn’t seem to care that I’m back at all.”
Erin gave me a slow shrug. “Look, Daniel’s a complicated guy,” she said. “I’m sure he just thinks he’s doing what’s best for the two of you.”
“I’m the one who told him that we can’t keep being together,” I snapped, even though I knew that Erin wasn’t the person I was frustrated at this moment. No, it was myself. And the circumstances of this whole thing. And a little bit at Leanne for having pushed me to apply for this job in the first place. Most of those feelings weren’t logical at all, but I just couldn’t help them.
Erin just looked amused, though. “Daniel’s one of the best guys I know,” she said. “But he has his own baggage too, you know. And if yo
u can’t hack the media thing, it’s probably better for both of you if you and Daniel don’t date. I’m sure Daniel is just trying to make it feel as normal as he can. He doesn’t want to hurt you or upset you.”
I sighed and shook my head. “What kind of baggage?” I asked, my interest piqued in spite of myself. Did Erin know something about Daniel I didn’t?
I shouldn’t ask about it either way, I knew. Whatever it was, it was none of my business. I definitely shouldn’t be gossiping in the bathroom about my boss on my first day back. But I was desperate for some sort of clue, anything that would convince me that what Erin was saying was true, that he really was just trying to keep things as normal as possible between us.
Erin just shrugged, though. “We all have baggage, right?”
“Right,” I said, deflating a little. “It’s just, the things that Gerrard told me that night at the bar made so much sense. And I don’t know, I guess I thought that if I came back here to work, Daniel would apologize to me and tell me that he wasn’t just playing with my feelings the whole time. But instead, he’s acting like Gerrard never said anything at all. Or like he doesn’t care if I’m upset by what Gerrard said.”
“You shouldn’t listen to Gerrard,” Erin said, shaking her head. “Especially not instead of Daniel.” She paused. “Look, I’m not supposed to tell anyone the whole backstory there, but suffice to say, Daniel had his reasons for firing Gerrard, but Gerrard also has his reasons for wanting to get back at Daniel over all of it. You shouldn’t have gotten caught up in the middle of that mess, but there it is.”
When I still looked unconvinced, Erin shrugged. “You don’t have to believe me,” she finally said. “But seriously, I’ve never seen Daniel interested in anyone the way he is in you. Don’t worry about that. But like I said, if you can’t hack the media thing and you can’t handle dating him, then you kind of need to let him be 100 percent professional toward you. And you just focus on being the same way in response.”
I finally managed to crack a smile. “How did you get so wise, anyway?” I teased.
Erin winked at me and glanced pointedly at her watch. “Your first meeting is going to be starting soon,” she reminded me. “Might want to get back to Daniel’s office and make sure you know the game plan.”
I nodded. “Thanks, Erin.” I had to admit, it was good to have a friend around the office. I watched as she walked out of the restroom and then turned back to myself in the mirror. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“You can do this,” I murmured at my reflection. I only wished that I could feel a little more sure of myself. Before I could dwell too much on how nervous I looked, I turned and left, heading back to Daniel’s office. One hundred percent professional, Erin had told me. If I could just focus on that, then working with him wouldn’t be that hard.
Would it?
Chapter 5
Daniel
I HAD TO ADMIT—AS MUCH as I hated to admit it—that the Abby I saw throughout Monday’s meetings wasn’t the Abby I knew and loved working alongside of. She just wasn’t herself. She was withdrawn where she was usually so outspoken and lively. She didn’t have much to offer in the way of advice, either, no matter how much I pressed her.
It made me worried about her. Had she thrown in the towel altogether? She had told me that if I gave her two weeks off to collect herself that she’d be ready to come back. And that morning, she definitely had seemed just as determined as ever. Right up to the point that she’d excused herself to go to the restroom.
I wondered if she was already writing up new cover letters in her head, making up a list of companies that she could apply to. Of course, I’d write her a recommendation if she asked for one. Except that she probably wouldn’t. The more that she could distance herself from my company, the better things were going to be for her. She had to be thinking that.
Fuck, how had things gone so wrong so quickly?
I hated the idea of losing her. And not just because for those few short weeks of having her as an advisor, she’d pushed me to make some crazy business decisions that had somehow all paid off. She was smart and she was innovative, and she made me want to be better at running McGregor Enterprises.
But it was more than losing her as an advisor. I had finally come around, in my head, to the idea that I couldn’t have her romantically. That she might not even be interested in me in that way anymore, if the cool way she acted toward me was any indication. I could settle for seeing her at work. But if she walked out of my life entirely?
I didn’t think I could handle that, to be perfectly honest.
I shook my head. I couldn’t think about that right now. There was business to be done, and I wanted to get out of there at a decent hour that day. Not least of which because I wasn’t sure I could handle being alone in the office with just Abby for company, but I knew that she wouldn’t go home and leave me to a late night on my own. Her work ethic was too strong for that; as she had proven time and again.
We managed to finish with our recap on the day just as everyone else was starting to clear out of the office, though. “So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked her, trying not to sound too nervous. This was it: if she was quitting, I would expect her to tell me that now.
Instead, she just shrugged at me. “Guess so,” she said.
“Was everything okay today?” I couldn’t help asking. Maybe it was nothing to do with the situation between us to begin with. Maybe she just wasn’t feeling good, or maybe I was throwing her back into the fray too quickly. We’d made a lot of progress on a few of our projects over the past couple of weeks, and I couldn’t really expect her to be up to speed with everything on her first day back.
“Yeah, everything was fine,” Abby said, her tone giving me absolutely no idea of how she was really feeling.
I got to my feet as she headed toward the door. But what could I really do? What I wanted to do was to catch her before she could leave, to pull her into my arms, to hug her, to let her know that it wasn’t going to be this difficult forever.
But it wasn’t as though I had any sort of plan for fixing things between the two of us. And not only that, but hugging her at this point would only have made things more difficult in the long run. No, I had to let her go, and I knew that. I didn’t say anything as she left the office, shutting the door carefully behind herself.
Then, I sighed and dropped down into my desk chair, putting my head in my hands. “I need a fucking drink,” I muttered under my breath. I never could have imagined that one day around her like that would make me feel so exhausted. I felt like I’d been through an emotional roller coaster. And it was going to be the same thing all over again tomorrow.
I picked up my cell phone and called Austin. “Hey, man, you free tonight?” I asked the moment he picked up.
Austin laughed. “I wondered if you were going to call me,” he said, sounding amused. “I’ll meet you at the usual place.”
“I’ll be there in ten,” I promised him. It was one of the perks of working in the same part of the city as my best friend. We went out for drinks regularly after work, and it never took too long to get to our favorite place.
When I got outside, though, I was bombarded by paparazzi. Flashbulbs went off left and right, but they seemed more interested in asking questions: “Where’s that blonde bombshell you were with?”
“Is she still your advisor?”
“Did you and Abby James break up?”
I scowled at all of them, hoping beyond hope that Abby hadn’t had to deal with any of this on her way out. This shit was entirely the reason that Abby had broken it off with me in the first place; she didn’t want to be part of the circus that was my life. I couldn’t blame her. Couldn’t even get away from the office now, with the way that they were pressing in all around me.
But no, she must have gone out a different way or something. The paparazzi knew what she looked like, and they wouldn’t be asking me if she was still my advisor, or what had happened
with her, if they had already seen her exit.
Or maybe Abby had been smart and come out in a disguise or something. I wouldn’t put it past her. She was definitely smart enough to figure out something like that, and she knew that this was a very real risk when you worked in this building. They’d went after her one morning when she was on her way into the office before. She wouldn’t take chances of having a run in anymore.
“What happened between you and Abby James? What a whirlwind romance!”
I felt my hands clench into fists. Not that I would ever dare hit one of these guys. Gerrard was one thing, and I was still trying to recover from that one. He might not have pressed charges, but my reputation had definitely taken a hit over that one, no pun intended. Punching out one of the paparazzi, while his buddies clustered around us, would ruin my reputation for good. I’d probably have to give up my rights to the company and everything.
My father would be rolling over in his grave, I was sure.
But I was starting to lose patience with them. All I wanted was to get away from the building and to forget all about Abby for the night. Not that I would really be able to do that. But I didn’t need every journalist in the city of Chicago asking about my relationship. If it wasn’t for them, maybe Abby and I would still be together.
I was relieved when a car skidded to a stop at the curb with Austin in the driver’s seat. He leaned over and threw open the passenger-side door, yelling at me to get in. I managed to duck through a line of surprised journalists, flinging myself into the car. Austin peeled away from the curb, laughing like a madman.
“Did you see the looks on their faces?” he asked as we sped down the road.
I shook my head, but I was grinning in spite of myself. “How did you know I was going to need a rescue?” I asked him.
“Same way I knew that you were going to call and need a drink tonight,” Austin said, snickering. “Your ‘blonde bombshell’ of an advisor came back to work today, didn’t she? It hasn’t exactly been a secret.”
