Crashed into Love: Episode Five

by Seline White

  He hadn’t done it willingly. His hazel eyes reprimanding me for leaving—for not having the guts to stay.

  When I’d given him the note to pass to Nina, my heart wrenched. What if she fell in love with him in my absence? I hated my insecurities, but it just confirmed why I needed to leave. I couldn’t ask Nina to support me—not when I didn’t know whether I could relearn. Doctor Alea had mentioned the pathways to learn something as complicated as flying might have been damaged too, and if that had happened, I wouldn’t want to be around myself, let alone Nina. She’d be better off without me.

  It helped already having connections in Tahiti, being in touch with a few officials while arranging my future business permits meant I was able to pull a few strings. Now I sat beside the guy who’d offered me three aircraft in turn for a commission cut, let me crash on his couch, and was a qualified pilot willing to help me relearn how to do the thing I loved most. Well, second most.

  I sighed heavily. Nina.

  God, I was an ass to leave her. Would she hate me? Would she understand? Would she wait for me or had she moved on?

  My fingers flew over the control panel, taking a reading of air speed, fuel levels, and cabin pressure. Everything was how it should be.

  Jeff leaned back in the co-pilot’s seat, grinning. “I knew when you stopped over thinking it, you’d be fine. You did most of that on muscle memory. A newbie wouldn’t have had the presence of mind to do an inflight check and bring up the landing gear without me telling him.”

  Some of the heaviness that lived on my shoulders lightened. It had taken three months to trust myself. Three long months to allow Jeff to talk me into taking the controls. Maybe I hadn’t forgotten everything… there was still a chance it would come back. Eventually. But I wasn’t going to wait around for it. I resat some of the exams, barely passing after a lot of late nights. All I’d done since arriving in Tahiti was study. In between my doctor visits to check the progress of my healing, of course.

  I threw him a grin, letting the calm, hushed world of the cockpit soothe me. “Thanks for helping me out, Jeff.”

  We were the only two souls on board. Air Tahiti Nui kindly let us use their off duty training aircraft. Mainly because I promised to shuttle a lot of their passengers to outlying islands for a mortifyingly low price when I started my business.

  “No worries. I know I made a good investment in you. I expect you to be up and running soon.”

  Engaging autopilot, I looked below to the sparkling crystal sea. The water was so clear the sandy bottom and occasional sprinkling of coral reefs were visible. Resorts hugged the coast like bright flowers on a vine. Their assortment of pools and manicured gardens morphed into idyllic beaches.

  I sighed again. Nina would love it here. Shit, I loved it here. If it wasn’t for the headaches and setback on flying, I’d be in my element. I missed her. So much. Every night as I lay alone in Jeff’s lounge on my makeshift bed, my entire body ached for her. I couldn’t stay away much longer. I didn’t know how I’d stayed away this long.

  “Right. Let’s start the test shall we?” Jeff pulled out a laminated ring binder chock-full of things a pilot must know.

  Nerves catapulted again, but I wiped the anxious sweat off my palms and nodded. “The sooner I have my wings back, the sooner my life can start again.”

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Nina

  Six months had passed.

  Six lonely, hard, miserable months.

  My heart, still bruised from never hearing a word from Liam, thrummed in anticipation. Today was the day my life began again. It was a day for closure and a day for renewal. I couldn’t pine after Liam any longer. I’d promised myself when I took Liam’s money that I’d wait for him until I finished. And I had. But no longer.

  My hands shook as panic took hold. I didn’t know where I was going after today. I had a few flying interviews in Glasgow and Dubai. It seemed female pilots were in demand over there. My bags were packed, my terrapins rehomed, and my apartment lease had ended. After today, I wouldn’t be going back. After today, Liam wouldn’t be able to find me as I didn’t know where I’d end up.

  Joslyn squeezed my hand. “So proud of you, girl.”

  I smiled, forcing my melancholy away. I would not mope. I was happy. “Thanks. I couldn’t have done it without your support.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Please. All I did was supply you with cocktails on Friday nights and make sure you remembered to live while absorbing text book after text book.”

  I laughed. “That was a very important part. I wouldn’t have found my way out of code and terminology if it wasn’t for you.” Plus, I would’ve missed her. After quitting Kiwi Air, I wouldn’t have seen her if we didn’t make the effort when she was in town between overnights.

  She nudged my shoulder, dropping her voice as Theo came toward us. We were in the back row in the hanger. The entire aeroclub had been decorated in gold and red banners with all manner of wings painted and stitched. In front of us sat thirteen new, about to be decorated, pilots. We’d completed enough hours and sat all the requirements to join the ranks of commercial.

  “Do you think he’ll forgive me for snogging him again the other night? I didn’t mean to… it’s just, I had a bit too much to drink, and I mean… come on. He’s delicious. I still think about the hickey he gave me.”

  I smiled. I could understand what Joslyn found attractive. I mean, what wasn’t there to like? Theo was smart, funny, tenacious, and kind. I hoped they’d stop playing games with each and do it already, but I didn’t think they’d last. Joslyn needed someone less… like her. And Theo was a little too similar.

  A small worry griped. Where was Nikolai? I hadn’t heard a thing about him since Samoa. I’d wondered if Joslyn was being secretive and had seen him recently, but I supposed if she was after Theo, my concerns were unwarranted.

  “You ready, Nina. You’re up next.” Theo squatted by my chair. “Aren’t you pleased you didn’t let fear win?”

  I groaned. After every lesson he’d asked me that, rubbing my face in my weakness, strengthening me in some strange way so I’d never relapse into letting my dreams go again. “I was too afraid of you to give up.”

  He laughed and the masculine rasp sent my heart thundering. Six long months since I’d heard Liam laugh. And I knew in my heart, I wouldn’t hear it again. It was over.

  “I wish he could’ve been here to see me graduate,” I whispered under my breath, hoping neither Joslyn nor Theo heard me. It slipped out. I didn’t mean to say it.

  Jos threw her arm around me. “I’m gonna punch him when he tells me where he is. He should be here.”

  Theo pulled a face. “I’m sure if he could’ve been here, he would. Don’t be too hard on him.”

  Guilt settled and I stared at the front of the hanger. The CEO of the aeroclub pinned silver wings onto a man’s lapel, and then shook his hand.

  Nerves attacked me sending a gentle nudge down my spine—all that was left of my whiplash. I was next.

  Theo stood, holding out his arm. “I’ll escort you. You’re my star pupil. I’d be honoured.”

  “Nina Marie Poppins.” The CEO on the makeshift stage scanned the crowd, eyes found mine.

  My father, sitting next to Jos, grinned as bright as the stars. “So proud of you, little girl.”

  It was fitting he was here to share my success. Smiling at both of them, I stood, and linked my arm through Theo’s. Nerves fluttered in my stomach as we made our way up the aisle.

  Theo let me go once we’d climbed the three steps. My heart sped up, and an influx of happiness and sadness filled me. I’d achieved my goal, thanks to Liam. I’d done what I set out to do, so why was my accomplishment empty and unfulfilling? Damn Liam for making me need him. I couldn’t celebrate fully because the one man I wanted to share it with wasn’t here.

  “Congratulations, Miss Poppins. You’re now a full-fledged commercial pilot.” The man who looked similar to Captain Anderson smiled, and pinn
ed the heavy set of wings to my black lapel. After shaking my hand, we posed for photos as he handed me a framed certificate.

  My heart wanted to fly, but it was weighted down by the knowledge I wouldn’t have been able to do this without Liam and I had no way of thanking him.

  I made my way back to my seat and the rest of the afternoon was a blur of drinks, and celebration. Theo did his best to include me, but I held myself slightly aloof. I didn’t mean to, but my thoughts were already free from New Zealand. I had the qualification I needed; there was nothing else for me here. My father understood—he knew I was leaving, and I’d see Joslyn around.

  Joslyn’s laugh trilled, and she thumped Theo on the chest. He rubbed the spot with a rueful grin. I guessed they wouldn’t miss me for the rest of the night.

  Taking one last look around the partying crowd, committing it to memory, I slunk away. Crossing the car park, I huddled into my coat. My little car was the only thing I had yet to sell. I’d probably gift it to my brother. He recently arrived in town after some jungle expedition.

  Something white flapped under the wiper on the windscreen. It was probably another advert for a sausage sizzle or some fundraiser the aeroclub put on regularly. I ripped it free of the wiper, before throwing myself inside, away from the chilly breeze. What I wouldn’t give to be sweating in Samoa’s heat. New Zealand’s weather was determined to freeze my nipples off.

  With my teeth chattering, I reached to turn on my car’s heater before ripping open the blank envelope. No name. No salutation.

  My heart stopped.

  Nina.

  Congratulations on earning your wings. I’m so proud of you.

  I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from. I’m sorry for leaving as I did, but I freaked out. I needed time to fix myself. I didn’t want to shackle you with a guy who could no longer earn, but was a drain in recuperation and restudy.

  I know it might be too late, but I need to see you.

  Enclosed is a one-way ticket to Papeete.

  If you come, I’ll know you still care for me.

  If you don’t, I know I left it too long, and you’ve moved on.

  I understand either way.

  I love you. I miss you.

  Liam

  Oh my God. He had the nerve to pop back into my life after no communication in the form of a letter on my windshield? How the hell did it get there? And why was I stroking it as if Liam could feel it instead of crunching it into a ball and throwing it in the trash?

  All the walls I’d built—mortared brick by brick—to hold up my shredded heart crumbled in an avalanche of rubble. The rush and glow of sheer happiness burst through me like a comet.

  He was alive. He’d found me. He hadn’t forgotten me.

  My opportunity to thank him—for giving me back my future blazed through my heartache, restarting my world. Life wasn’t about holding grudges or nursing mistakes—it was about living in rapture and happiness—like the life we lived together in Samoa. We didn’t play games then… I wouldn’t start now. All the hurt of six months flashed to nothingness.

  With fumbling fingers, I peered into the envelope for the remaining piece of paper. We had a second chance to make it last and I wouldn’t squander it.

  Inside was a one way ticket to Tahiti, leaving tomorrow morning.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Liam

  She was late.

  Every passenger was on board and the crew were looking anxious.

  My heart hadn’t slowed since boarding the flight to Tahiti. I knew Nina had the ticket. Shit, I’d seen her take it from her windshield. I’d wanted to surprise her then and there—to pop from the shadows and wrench her from the car and into my arms. But I waited.

  The memory of her accepting her wings threatened to overwhelm me. I was so damn proud of her.

  Maybe she wouldn’t show? Maybe she’d taken the six months to push all thoughts of me away, and I’d be left heartbroken. Served me right after leaving her for so long.

  The flight attendant spoke into the galley phone, most likely advising the captain they had a no-show. Nina wasn’t coming.

  I had to face facts. She hated me. She didn’t want me. And I deserved it. What did I expect after leaving her alone in Samoa? With no goodbye or valid explanation. I couldn’t cope with the thought of being an invalid. Of being a downer with a brain that no longer worked. Not having a hope in hell of achieving my dreams, unless I went back and spent another hundred grand to relearn everything.

  So I did the logical thing and ran.

  Such a pussy.

  As much as it hurt—the waiting, hoping—endlessly afraid she wouldn’t accept my one-way ticket, it was the only way. She needed to make the decision on her own terms. And I needed to know that I wasn’t too late, to see if her love for me was as strong as mine was for her. I knew I’d never feel any less for her. It wasn’t just a mortal love, it was a galaxy of love that would last an eternity.

  But I also hated to admit defeat. I wasn’t worthy of her and she had finally realized that. I should never have left her in Samoa. I should have stayed. Screw not remembering how to fly. My priorities were wacked and now I’d suffer alone.

  Commotion sounded up the front of the plane and I froze.

  Oh my God, she came.

  She was here.

  My chest contracted and my head pounded along the jagged scar I now sported beneath my black hair.

  Flustered, red-cheeked, and bright eyed, Nina apologised profusely to the cabin staff. Her handbag kept sliding off her arm as she manhandled her trolley. My lips stretched into a grin so big it hurt. She didn’t have to say another word. She just proved to me how much she loved me and my life would never get any better than it was in that moment.

  I squirmed in my seat, fighting the nerves in my stomach, as the air-hostess pointed the direction down the aisle. I’d deliberately chosen the last row in the cabin.

  Privacy. Incognito.

  I hadn’t seen her in six months… who knew how my self-control would be.

  Her eyes read the seat numbers as she came closer. Every step she took, my heart stuttered with rhythm. God, I loved her. And she was here! Was she a mirage? Was she real? As my brain healed, I’d suffered some wacky hallucinations, I hoped to hell she wasn’t one of them. I wouldn’t survive it.

  Her eyes dropped to her boarding pass as she slowed, nearing my row. I tensed, any moment now—

  Her eyes locked onto mine and she dropped her handbag.

  We didn’t move, drinking in each other. I stared at her as if I were a parched vampire completely desiccated. All the loneliness of the past six months evaporated.

  When she didn’t move, I stood and inched out of the row to reach her. My fingers desperately wanted to touch her, but I hesitated.

  “Hi,” I whispered, ignoring the rest of the plane and passengers. They were inconsequential. Nina soaked up my entire attention.

  “Liam.” Her mouth gaped. “What are you doing here?”

  I smiled, loving the shock laced with wonderment in her tone. “I came to fetch you. You didn’t think I’d make you fly all that way on your own did you?” The moment I made the decision that it was time; I couldn’t stay away any longer. I jumped on a plane to meet her. Hell, the plane ride was only eleven hours, but it was eleven hours too long not to be with her.

  Never taking my eyes from hers, I reached for the trolley bag and stretched to put it in the overhead locker. I captured her hand and tugged so she followed me dazedly into the row. I took the window seat, putting my back to it to face her.

  “You’re really here?” She blinked, looking me over. “Are you okay? How’s your head?”

  There was time for that. And it wasn’t now. I pressed a finger against her lips to shush her. Her eyes widened and she inhaled sharply.

  Chills of feelings darted down my arms. I shared a connection with this woman deeper than any other. We grew to love in a coma. We found each other when by rights we sho
uld’ve died. We didn’t play games when we were asleep. I wasn’t going to now.

  My heart sprinted and the cabin air thickened to cocoon us in our own little world. “You have about two seconds to tell me if you’re here because you love me and you’re moving to Tahiti, or if you’re letting me down easy.” I dropped my finger, letting it trail down her chin, tracing her neck.

  She shivered, eyes glowed with undisputed lust. “I don’t need two seconds to answer.”

  Need surged through me like an electrical storm. I sucked in a breath as she pressed forward and her lips connected with mine. Our eyes were still open and I drowned in her sapphire depths.

  She made an angry noise in the back of her throat and broke the kiss.

  I blinked. What was wrong? Kiss me again.

  With a jerk, she raised the arm rest between us, pushing it out of the way and sliding closer. The moment her thigh connected with mine, I couldn’t stop myself any longer.

  My arms latched around her and I dragged her against me. If there was more room, I’d have her in my lap.

  Her mouth opened under mine and her hot tongue fought me in a battle of emotion. I poured every inch of pain and separation into the kiss and grew lightheaded.

  She moaned as her hands ran along my jeans waistband and slunk up my t-shirt. She kissed me harder, stealing all rational thought. All I wanted to do was help her undo my jeans and sink into her.

  I couldn’t control the groan rattling through me and my fingers lassoed into her hair holding her firm, kissing her like I’d wanted for six long, lonely months. I couldn’t get enough of her taste and the knowledge she was here. She’d come… for me.

  An annoyed cough sounded above us. Nina flinched and broke away, wiping her mouth.

  An elderly flight attendant peered down her nose. “Excuse me; this is not the back of the bus for making out. Do up your seatbelts, we’re about to take-off.”