Going For It (Texas Titans #7)

by Cheryl Douglas

  Well damn. Normally her face would have been on fire after a comment like that, but she was too turned on to care whether Max was uncomfortable. Her only concern was getting through the next twenty minutes so she and Blaise could finally act on the attraction that had been building between them for two months. If the look in his light blue eyes was any indication, he intended to make it worth the wait.

  Chapter Two

  By the time they got back to his place, Blaise was ready to back Kiara against the wall and take her right there in the foyer, but Sabrina’s voice was ringing in his ears, reminding him that Kiara wanted a guy who would sweep her off her feet. Since he didn’t know whether they would have another chance after she talked to Morin, he intended to spend the entire night living out every fantasy he’d had about her since they first laid eyes on each other. Picking her up and cradling her against his chest, he smiled.

  She giggled and curled into him. “What are you doing?”

  “Sweeping you off your feet. I thought that’s what you wanted?”

  “I didn’t mean it literally.” She kicked off her high heels. “Not that I’m complaining. This is kind of nice.”

  He carried her down the hall to the master bedroom. He was glad he’d stocked the bedroom with everything a woman might want for a romantic evening. Though he hadn’t known when or if he’d get a chance to be intimate with Kiara, he’d wanted to prepare just in case. She looked around the large room as he set her down before hitting the switch on the wall to dim the lights.

  “Nice room,” she said, walking to the french doors facing the pool. “Your house isn’t what I expected.”

  Though they’d been dating for a while, he usually took her to dinner or back to her place, since it was closer to his gym and her office.

  “What did you expect?”

  “A bachelor pad. This is a real, grown-up house, with a well-kept yard and everything.”

  After growing up in low income housing, he’d sworn he’d never go back. The very first thing he’d invested in was a nice house no one could take away from him. “I’ll be sure to tell my gardener you approve.”

  “Aw, and here I was hoping you got out there and did it with a push mower, all sweaty and shirtless.”

  He grinned at her backside as he lit a few candles and set his iPod in the Bose speaker on his nightstand. He selected John Mayer’s “Your Body is a Wonderland” from his playlist.

  She glanced at him over her shoulder, trying to keep a straight face. “Nice choice.”

  “How about a glass of wine?” He felt guilty for taking her straight into his bedroom. Although she’d made it clear where she intended for the evening to go, he didn’t want her to think that was the only reason he’d brought her back to his place.

  “Sure, I’ll come with you.” She followed him down the hall to the kitchen, sneaking a peek in the living room on the way. “I was curious about why you’d never invited me back to your place. I thought maybe you had a wife or kid stashed away you didn’t want me to know about.”

  He laughed. “Not likely.”

  “Well, I don’t see any pictures or women’s lingerie, so I guess that’s a good sign.”

  His amusement died when he realized that while she was trying to make light of it, she was partially serious. He halted, turning to face her. “Someone really did a number on you, didn’t they?”

  She looked startled, tearing her eyes from his before forcing a laugh. “What are you talking about?”

  “Was he married?” Blaise hated to think of any man lying to her or hurting her. She was too good to be treated that way, though he suspected if she knew the truth about his past, she would lump him in with the loser who’d hurt her. “Engaged? Girlfriend?”

  “I don’t want to talk about.” She tried to brush past him, but he gripped her wrist.

  “Why do you always do that? Whenever I ask you about your past relationships, you just shut down. Why?”

  “You do the same.”

  She was right. He wasn’t proud of his past. He’d only had a couple of real relationships, and he’d hurt both women because he put his career first. He wanted to keep certain skeletons buried forever, but he would give her some insight into his previous relationships in the hopes that she would trust him enough to do the same. “Fine, I’ll tell you about my exes if you’ll tell me about yours.”

  “I’ll need that glass of wine first.” She sounded as though she’d rather have a root canal than tell him about her ex-boyfriends. Following him into the kitchen, she asked, “You’ve never said, do you like to cook?”

  “Nutrition was an integral part of my career,” he said, happy to talk about mundane things since he needed a little time to collect his own thoughts. “My trainer would always tell me success was eighty percent diet, so I learned to prep food.” He grinned as he uncorked a bottle of merlot. “I’m not sure if that’s the same as cooking, but I learned enough to survive.”

  “It’s a shame to have a kitchen like this and not cook,” she said, smoothing a hand over the granite countertop as she admired the Sub-Zero appliances.

  “You like to cook, right?” he asked, remembering she’d once called herself a foodie. Given all the meals they’d enjoyed together, he knew she liked to eat, but she’d never cooked for him. “Feel free to use my kitchen whenever you like.”

  “Thanks, it sure beats the little kitchen at my condo.” She accepted the glass of wine he offered. “What shall we drink to?”

  He considered his words carefully. “How about getting to know each other better?”

  She touched her glass to his before taking a sip. “It must seem weird to you that we’ve been dating a couple of months, yet we’ve only been out half a dozen times because I’m always travelling or attending some event on behalf of my clients. We have to do a lot of schmoozing in this line of work.”

  He took a sip of wine. He knew she was trying to justify the times she’d blown him off or canceled at the last minute. “I understand.”

  “Most guys don’t.” She swirled her wine. “Especially when I have to leave them because one of my clients is having a meltdown at a bar. Our job is to negotiate their contracts, but that often involves some babysitting. It’s tough to negotiate a good contract if your client is losing it at the bar every night.”

  “I can imagine.” He hated the thought of her running out to rescue some drunk jock at midnight, but it wouldn’t help his cause if he admitted he was jealous or overprotective.

  “Anyways, a lot of times, guys just got fed up and decided to move on.”

  “How about the other times?”

  “I’ve made some poor choices.” She cleared her throat before looking at him. “I’ve dated a few athletes, thinking I knew what I was doing. I didn’t. They were just using me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah, well, that’s why I don’t date athletes anymore.” She smiled. “I thought that rule extended to former athletes as well, but you’ve made me rethink that.”

  “Am I supposed to say I’m sorry I convinced you to break your rule? ‘Cause I’m not.” They shared a smile before he said, “The first time I saw you I was hooked.”

  “Yeah, right. Is that why you took my best friend out to dinner?”

  “I knew Sabrina was into Dylan when I asked her out. I just wanted to find out more about you. I figured who better to ask?”

  “You’re such a liar,” Kiara said.

  He was dead serious, but he couldn’t convince her if she chose to believe he was lying. Lifting a shoulder, he said, “Believe what you want.”

  “I told you my sad story—now it’s your turn. Why are you still single?”

  “Because I choose to be.” When she raised an eyebrow, he said, “I could lie and tell you I just haven’t met the right girl, but the truth is, I really like my life the way it is right now. I’m settling into a new routine with the gym and training some fighters. I like it.”

  “Interesting. So you’re not l
ooking for the future Mrs. Thomas?”

  That was a loaded question. He didn’t want to make her think he was just looking for a good time, because he wanted more than that. He just wasn’t sure how much more yet. “I honestly don’t know.”

  “Fair enough.” She nodded. “You don’t have to decide right this second.”

  “Really?” He couldn’t hide his surprise at her nonchalant reaction. “Most women ask that kind of question because they’re hoping for a specific response.”

  “Maybe you gave me the response I was hoping for.”

  He couldn’t deny that stung a little. “Ah, so you’re not looking for a long-term relationship either?”

  She sighed. “I’m not sure what I’m looking for. I’m just trying to take things one day at a time and see where I end up.”

  “That sounds like a good plan.” So why did that leave him feeling uneasy, as though he wanted more from her?

  “Don’t think I’m letting you off the hook that easily. Tell me about your exes.”

  He took a sip of wine. “There’s not much to tell. I was pretty serious with a couple girls, even lived with one for a year, but when she started pressing me for a ring, I told her I wasn’t ready.” After a deep swallow of wine, he added, “She claimed I put my career before her, and she was probably right. I was pretty focused in those days. After we broke up, I found out she’d cheated on me, so I’m glad I didn’t marry her.”

  “So you’re single by choice.” She raised her hands, gesturing to their surroundings. “You live in this big house all by yourself, and you never get lonely?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “Who do you call when you get lonely?” she asked, propping her chin in her hand. “There must be someone.”

  “Kiara, I—”

  “It’s okay,” she said, smiling. “I have no illusions about you being a saint.”

  He didn’t know if he had a right to be offended, but he was. “I haven’t been dating anyone else since we started seeing each other.” He got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when she averted her gaze and downed the rest of her wine. “Have you?”

  “Um, no.”

  “Why don’t I believe you?”

  She closed her eyes. “I did something really stupid when I was in Philadelphia about a month ago.”

  He knew he wouldn’t like her answer, but he felt compelled to ask, “What happened?”

  “You and I had only been out on a couple of dates. I had no idea where it was going—”

  “Just tell me what happened.” He was starting to lose his temper, and he really didn’t want her to see that side of him.

  “My ex-boyfriend was staying in the same hotel as me. We ran into each other at the hotel bar.”

  “You didn’t know he’d be there?” Blaise downed the rest of his wine before refilling both of their glasses. He wanted something a hell of a lot stronger than wine, but he wouldn’t let her see how much her words were affecting him.

  “No, like I said, we just ran into each other.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “We started talking, one thing led to another, and we ended up in his hotel room.”

  He walked out of the room, unable to listen to any more. The thought of her being intimate with another man hit him hard, and he realized he was in way too deep to escape unscathed.

  “Blaise,” she said, running after him, “let me finish.”

  “I don’t want to hear it.” He walked to the window, looking into the blackness of the night and unable to find a single star. That was no surprise—he’d run out of wishes a long time ago. He should have known better than to think this incredible woman, who could have any man she wanted, would choose him.

  “I need for you to hear it,” she said, stepping between him and the window.

  “If you’re trying to absolve yourself, don’t bother. You have nothing to feel guilty about. We’ve never talked about being exclusive. Hell, we’ve never even had sex.”

  “I didn’t have sex with him,” she said softly.

  “You didn’t?”

  She shook her head. “We kissed and…” She shrugged. “I just couldn’t let it go any further. I thought about you and how I would feel if you were at home doing the same thing with someone else. Just thinking about it made me feel sick.”

  Blaise finally felt like he could breathe again. He wasn’t thrilled that she’d kissed someone else, but it wasn’t a deal breaker. He gripped her hands when she reached for the buttons running down his shirt. “Maybe we need to set some ground rules. I haven’t been with any other women because no one has appealed to me since I met you. That’s the truth.”

  “I feel the same way.”

  “That’s not entirely true,” he said, trying to rein in his annoyance. “You wouldn’t have gone to his room if you weren’t still attracted to him.” He wanted to ask who her ex was, but if his competition was some good looking, rich athlete at the top of his game, he didn’t want to know.

  “I’d had a few drinks. I know that’s no excuse—”

  “No, it’s not. You said you travel a lot, so if we do get more involved, will I have to worry every time you go out of town?”

  Kiara tore her hands from his, staggering backward. “You think I’m that easy? If I were, wouldn’t I have slept with you by now?”

  “I didn’t say you were easy. I was merely asking whether I could trust you to be faithful to me when you’re out of town.” Blaise knew their night was going from bad to worse, but he couldn’t seem to stop his words from pouring out.

  “I’ve never cheated on anyone! I’m not like that.”

  “Yet you kissed him.” He threw up his hands. “You went up to his hotel room with him.”

  “You want the whole truth? Fine. He sent me flowers today,” she said, glaring at him. “He’s going to be in town tomorrow night, and he wants to see me.”

  Blaise clenched his hands at his sides. “And? What did you tell him?”

  “You really have to ask me that? I came here tonight to make love to you. I was finally ready to take our relationship to the next level because I was tired of fighting the way I feel about you.”

  Her words sucked all the oxygen out of him. “How do you feel about me?”

  “I can’t stop thinking about you,” she whispered. “When I’m not with you, I want to be.”

  “I feel the same way.”

  She wrapped her arms around her mid-section. “I didn’t want this, Blaise. I swore I was done with guys like you, but I can’t help the way I feel when I’m with you.”

  “I need to know what you told him when he asked to see you,” he said, stepping closer.

  “Why do you need to know?”

  He settled his hands on her waist. “Here’s the thing…” His voice failed him when he tried to explain his insecurity. “I don’t know what the hell you see in me.”

  “Are you crazy? Do you even own a mirror?”

  Blaise closed his eyes. There was no easy way to bare his soul. “It’s not about the way I look or how much money I have or the car I drive. It’s about who I am on the inside.”

  “What are you talking about?” she asked, gripping his forearms. “You’re a great guy.”

  He shook his head. “No, I’m not a great guy. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, hurt a lot of people. But it’s not just that. I’m not like you. I didn’t come from a solid family or get a good education. I never did well in school. The only thing I had going for me was fighting, so I used that to get out.”

  “I know how lucky I was to have the advantages I did,” she said, skimming his cheek with her palm. “Just because you didn’t have those advantages doesn’t mean I’m better than you. On the contrary—look at what you’ve done with your life. It’s incredible.”

  “Baby, face it, I’m rough around the edges.” He ran his hands up her back, feeling her smooth blouse under his calloused palms. “You’re smart and classy. You need a guy who’ll fit in at all those fancy parties y
ou were talking about earlier.” Though he really didn’t want to know, he said, “That guy you mentioned earlier, the one who’ll be in town tomorrow, is he an athlete?”

  She looked uncomfortable, and her gaze darted over his shoulder. “No.”

  “What does he do?”

  “It’s not important. I have no intention of seeing him again.”

  “Just tell me what he does.”

  “We went to Harvard together.” Her eyes drifted to his chest. “He runs a software company now.”

  “A pretty successful one, I bet.” He turned away. He might have felt better had the guy been an athlete. At least then Blaise may have had a shot.

  “Why are you doing this?” she asked, gripping his shoulder. “Why are you trying to drive a wedge between us? I told you Eli doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. I want to be with you. I came here tonight because…”

  He covered his face with his hands. If he had any sense, he would take her into his bedroom and make love to her until she couldn’t even remember what that other guy looked like, but sex wouldn’t solve the real issue between them.

  She stepped in front of him, tearing his hands from his face. “Stop. Whatever you’re thinking, just stop. I don’t want him. I want you. What do I have to do to prove that to you?”

  There was a reason Blaise didn’t make plays for women like Kiara. They were way out of his league, and falling for someone like her would only lead to heartache. He gripped her arms before walking past her. “This was a mistake. I think you’re a great girl, but there’s no way this is gonna work.” He headed back to the kitchen to get the wine he’d abandoned, hoping she would show herself out. As much as he wanted her, if he had her, it would be impossible to let her go.

  “Why?” she demanded, following him. “Because you’re afraid? I have to tell you, I never pegged you, of all people, for a coward.”

  He ignored her, knowing she was just trying to goad him. He leaned against the island, his back to her, and polished off his wine before turning to refill his glass. What he saw stunned him. She stood in the kitchen wearing nothing but the bra and panties she’d had on earlier. It was the fear and vulnerability in her eyes that really gripped him.