Going For It (Texas Titans #7)

by Cheryl Douglas

  “Famished.” She glanced at the iPhone he’d set on the counter. “Important call?”

  He swallowed, hesitant to bring her down with his problems. “My brother.”

  She swung him around to face her. “Your brother? The one who’s been out of your life for the past three years?”

  “That’s the one.”

  “Oh wow.” She took the spatula, nudging him out of the way. “Are you okay with him calling you? I mean, it must have come as a shock.”

  “It did.” He still hadn’t processed his feelings about it, so he was reluctant to share, but he didn’t want Kiara to feel as though he was shutting her out. “I told him to come by the gym this morning. He said he’s doing better, so I guess I’ll see for myself, won’t I?”

  Kiara watched him put bread in the toaster before she said, “Honey, some relationships are toxic, and as hard as it is, cutting ourselves off from certain people is an act of self-preservation. Are you sure letting Rowan back in your life is the best idea?”

  He loved that she was concerned. It had been a long time since someone in his life had cared about him. “Honestly? I don’t know. I just felt like I had to see him again. He’s my family. We were close once. Nothing would make me happier than to see him put his life back together.”

  Kiara seemed pensive as she seasoned the scrambled eggs and flipped the bacon. “You’ve never told me much about him. What’s he like?”

  Blaise didn’t allow himself to think about Rowan often. It was too painful. “I was his hero for a long time. He’s a few years younger than I am, wanted to be just like me.” He smirked, trying to hide his pain. “That was before he found new idols.”

  “You said he fell in with a bad crowd?”

  “Yeah, drugs, booze, petty crime, the whole deal.” He was ashamed to admit his family had so many problems, especially since Kiara’s seemed so perfect. He busied himself buttering toast, but he could tell she was expecting more. “I kept hoping it was just a phase, but when he was still a mess at twenty-five, I had to acknowledge that he didn’t want to change. That’s when I cut him loose. I told myself it was for his own good.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe it was.”

  “You can’t fix everybody.”

  He was surprised to hear her say that, since it had always been his M.O. He’d bought his parents a small house and paid off all their credit card debt only to find out a year later they were another fifty grand in debt because they couldn’t stay away from the local casino. He wanted to believe he could help them, fix them, make their lives better, but it never worked out the way he planned. “I know.” He sighed. “Learned that lesson the hard way.”

  She reached across the counter to cover his hand with hers. “You’re a good man. I just don’t want to see you get taken advantage of.”

  His laugh was harsher than he intended as he withdrew his hand. “Baby, I don’t need protection.”

  He turned his head when he caught sight of her frown. He wanted her to care about him, but he didn’t want her to get too invested until he found the courage to tell her the whole truth about his past and she decided whether she could live with it or not. He set the plates on the table before walking back to the counter for the coffee mugs. He could tell by her fixation on the food and the tense set of her shoulders that she wasn’t happy with him.

  He walked up behind her and brushed her hair aside so he could kiss her neck. “I’m sorry for being an ass, okay? I love that you care about me, Ki.”

  “I know I can be a little over the top sometimes. That’s one of my biggest faults.”

  “What do you mean?” he asked, resting his chin on her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her narrow waist.

  She set the eggs and bacon on a platter before reaching in the drawer for a serving spoon. “When I’m in a relationship, I’m all in. Sometimes I overstep. I’m really going to try to avoid making that mistake with you. Your relationship with your brother is your issue to sort out. I know you don’t need me to chime in with my two cents.”

  Damn. He’d hurt her feelings. “Hey, listen to me.” he said, turning her into his arms. He held her hands when she reached for the platter of food, refusing to look at him. “After what we shared last night, there’s no one closer to me than you are. If you have an opinion, I want you to feel free to share it. I can’t promise I’ll always agree with you, but even if I don’t, so what? People don’t always have to have the same opinions, right?”

  “That’s a very mature outlook,” she said, her lips twitching. “I guess in the past, I’ve tried too hard. I always wanted the fairy tale and believed every guy I dated could be the one.” She made air quotes before rolling her eyes. “Don’t worry, I gave up on that fantasy a long time ago.”

  “What if I told you I didn’t want you to give up on it?” His hand drifted over her shoulder and down her arm before resting on her hip. He owed it to her to be honest, even if he didn’t have enough faith in them yet to be honest with her about everything. “I’ve never been the kind of guy a woman should pin all her hopes and dreams on, but for you, I want to be that guy. I don’t know if I can be. But I want to try.”

  She smiled before brushing her hand over his cheek. “I love you for saying that, and I love the effort you’ve made to make me feel special. I know this is a bit of a departure from the way you usually are with women—”

  He couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Uh yeah, you could say that.”

  “But the fact that you’re willing to work so hard to make me happy, it means everything.” She wrapped her arms around his neck before standing on her toes to kiss him. “I was afraid of you at first, afraid to let myself feel anything for you, but you’ve made me feel safe. You’ve made me believe it’s okay to fall in love with you, because I know you’d never do anything to hurt me.”

  Blaise gripped her waist, picking her off the ground as he buried his face in her hair. He couldn’t stand to look at her, not when he saw so much hope and misplaced trust in her eyes. God, he hated himself for letting her believe he wasn’t capable of making the kind of decisions that shattered lives. He was, and he had. He only hoped that by the time she realized that, she was in too deep to leave him.

  Chapter Seven

  Blaise stared across the desk at his younger brother, marvelling at how good he looked. His skin had lost that lifeless pallor. His blue eyes were clear and bright. His teeth were white again, not stained from nicotine and neglect. Rowan looked like a different man, the man he could have been, had he not taken that detour all those years ago.

  “Why do you keep looking at me like that?” Rowan asked, laughing. “You’re creepin’ me out.”

  “Sorry,” Blaise said, shaking his head. “I know you told me on the phone that you’d pulled yourself together, but I didn’t expect this.” He gestured to Rowan’s clean jeans and black T-shirt. He even looked as though he’d been working out some. His body was lean but chiseled.

  “I swore to myself I wouldn’t come back into your life until I could prove that I was a changed man. I am, Blaise. I’m off the drugs. I haven’t had a drink in sixteen months. I’ve never felt better.”

  “You’re working?” Blaise asked, almost afraid of the answer.

  His cheeks reddened as he dipped his chin. “Yeah, two jobs, in fact.”

  “Really?” Blaise couldn’t hide his surprise. “Doing what?”

  Rowan shrugged, obviously embarrassed. “I work nights at a pizza place, you know, making pizzas and manning the cash, and I work during the day and on weekends washing dishes at a restaurant.”

  “You’re kidding.” Blaise wasn’t surprised by the jobs, only that Rowan was working seven days a week. He’d never known Rowan to hold down a job for more than a couple of weeks.

  “No.” He shrugged. “It’s not much, but it keeps a roof over my head, and I don’t go hungry anymore.”

  Blaise swallowed, thinking of all the nights Rowan had suffered on the streets without a bed or warm meal. “What
happened to make you want to turn things around?”

  “I hit rock bottom.” His eyes landed on the worn hardwood floor. “I woke up in a shelter one morning, looked around me, and realized I didn’t want to live that way anymore. I met some good people who were willing to help me and…” He looked at Blaise. “I did the work. Simple as that. One day at a time, I fought the demons that kept calling me back.”

  “Are you ever tempted?” Blaise asked. “You know, by booze or drugs?”

  “You’re never cured.” Rowan rubbed a hand over his face before he leaned back in his chair. “They say it’s a disease, and I guess it is, but it’s the chronic kind. You just have to learn how to live with it.”

  “I guess so.”

  “I used to sneak into the library when I was between shelters. I’d use the computer so I could find out what you were up to. I was so proud of you.” Rowan laughed. “I used to tell the guys on the street that Blaise Thomas was my big brother, and they’d think I was high again.”

  Blaise felt the sting of guilt and remorse. “I didn’t want things to go down the way they did, kid. I wanted you in my life. I just couldn’t have you in my life, not like that.”

  “You were right to cut me loose. It was the best thing you could have done for me. As long as you continued to give me money, you were just feeding my addictions. I know that now.”

  “I’m glad you don’t hate me.”

  “Never. I could never hate you.”

  Blaise felt a lump rise in his throat. There was so much he wanted to say, so many questions he wanted to ask, but words failed him.

  “Is that your girlfriend?” Rowan asked, pointing at a picture of Kiara.

  Blaise had downloaded it from his phone that morning before printing it and sticking it in the corner of another frame on his desk. Kiara was wearing a tight black dress and heels, her long hair in a polished up-do. He’d taken the picture when he accompanied her to a friend’s wedding last month, and it was one of his favorites, even if it did highlight the glaring differences between them. “Yeah, it is.”

  “Jesus, man, she’s gorgeous.”

  “Yeah, she is.” Blaise felt a swell of pride as he held the picture. “She’s amazing. Way too good for me.”

  “Why do you say that?” Rowan frowned.

  “She’s an Ivy League graduate, man. One of the most sought-after sports agents in the country.”

  “And you’re Blaise-freakin’-Thomas, the former heavyweight boxing champ. So what’s your point?”

  Blaise appreciated his brother’s indignation on his part, but he wasn’t foolish enough to think anyone would compare Kiara’s accomplishments to his. Blaise had gotten ahead because he was fearless. She got ahead because she was smart. Big difference.

  “The old man really did a number on you, didn’t he, Blaise?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He tucked the picture back in the frame before scrolling through the messages on his phone. He thought if he pretended he had better things to do, Rowan would take a hint.

  “The shit he said to you about being stupid and worthless, you believed him, didn’t you?”

  “I don’t believe anything that crazy old bastard says.” Blaise laughed, though it felt as if it burned his throat. “You know that.”

  “I know that when your own parent beats you down, it’s hard to get back up again.”

  “He never beat us,” Blaise said, unsure why he felt the need to distinguish between physical abuse and the verbal abuse they’d endured.

  “He might as well have.” Rowan cracked his knuckles. “The things he said hurt every bit as much as a punch.”

  “I guess.” Blaise wasn’t one to feel sorry for himself, and he didn’t want to dwell on the past, not today. “I’m glad you stopped by, kid. It was great to see you again.”

  “I wanted to ask you something before I leave.”

  Here it comes. Blaise knew he should have been smart enough to see the barb before he got hooked. “Okay, what is it?” Or should I ask, how much?

  “I heard you’re training amateur boxers here. That true?”

  “Uh, yeah, why?”

  “Would you consider training me? Maybe managing me?”

  Blaise leaned forward. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “I want to start boxing again.”

  “Again? I don’t recall you taking much of an interest in it before.” They’d had the same opportunities, but Rowan had preferred to get high while Blaise was learning how to defend himself.

  “I was clueless back then,” Rowan said. “No direction. I didn’t think I could make anything of myself, but you showed me it’s possible. We came from the same place, survived the same messed up parents. Only you made it, and I just made a mess of my life.”

  Some days Blaise still questioned whether he’d truly survived, but then he reminded himself that a lot of people were worse off than him. He tried to practice gratitude instead of whining about his lot in life. “We have no choice but to deal with the hand we’re dealt. That’s what I tried to do.”

  “You’re my inspiration.” Rowan grinned when Blaise rolled his eyes. “I know that sounds cheesy as hell, but it’s true. I want to learn to be fearless. I want to learn to fight instead of backing down and looking for the easy way out.”

  “There are other ways to do that,” Blaise said. “It doesn’t have to be inside the ring.”

  “I want to do this.” Rowan sounded determined. “Will you help me or not?”

  Lifting his hands, Blaise said, “How can I say no to a plea like that? We’ll meet here at six tomorrow night.”

  “Awesome, thanks, man. Rowan stood and shook Blaise’s hand before making his way to the door.

  “Hey, kid.”

  Rowan turned to face his brother, looking wary. “Yeah?”

  Blaise grinned. “Prepare to have your ass handed to you.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  ***

  Kiara signed the contract before passing it back to Morin. “Just sign below my signature on all three pages.” She still had mixed feelings about taking Morin on as a client, but now that she had, she was determined to learn as much as she could about boxing so she could represent her client to the best of her ability.

  “We should go out to lunch to celebrate.”

  “Uh, I don’t think so.” Client lunches were routine, especially after they’d sealed their working relationship or signed a big deal, but Kiara thought Blaise would have a problem with her getting too cozy with his nemesis.

  “Why?” Morin quirked an eyebrow as he slid the signed contract across her desk. “You think your boyfriend would object?”

  It wasn’t like Kiara to allow anything to interfere with her work, so she felt a twinge of guilt for treating Morin differently than any other client. “No, it’s just…” She sighed before reaching for her phone. “Let me double-check when my next appointment is. If I have time, we can grab a quick lunch at High Rollers to celebrate.” As luck would have it, she was free until two. Great.

  “Well?” he asked, reaching for his car keys. “Do we have a date or not?”

  “It’s not a date.” She needed to set some boundaries before he got the wrong idea, though. “We’ll take separate cars, and I’ll pick up the tab for lunch. It’s a business expense, after all.”

  “Sure, whatever you say.”

  Morin was following her to the restaurant in his late model Hummer when her phone rang. Blaise’s number flashed across her screen. Damn, he would have to call now. “Hey, babe. I was just thinking about you. How did things go with your brother this morning?” Maybe if she could distract him, he wouldn’t ask what she was up to.

  “Better than expected, actually. I can tell you all about it if you can meet me for a quick bite. High Rollers in ten?”

  Oh, no. “Um, you’re on your way there now?”

  “Yeah, I was just going to grab some take-out, but if you can meet me there, I’ll stick
around.”

  Morin was waiting at the light to turn into the High Rollers parking lot. She had no choice but to come clean. “Actually, I’m already having lunch at High Rollers… with Casey.”

  “Casey?” he growled. “Please tell me you’re not talking about Casey Morin.”

  She turned into the parking lot, her eyes scanning the cars for a black McClaren. She didn’t see one. “We signed the contracts this morning. It’s customary to take new clients out to lunch. Maybe you should just grab a bite somewhere else?” Pretty, pretty please?

  “Oh, hell no. I can’t wait to see Morin again.”

  When he hung up without saying good-bye, Kiara knew she had to do some damage control unless she planned to referee a fight between two heavyweights. “Hey, Casey,” she said, raising her hand when she saw Morin getting out of his truck. “You want to go somewhere else?”

  He walked toward her. “No, this is good. I haven’t been to High Rollers in a while.”

  “Yeah, but—”

  Before she could finish, Blaise spun into the lot, tires squealing.

  “Well, look who it is.” Morin folded his arms as he leaned against Kiara’s silver BMW. “Did you know your boyfriend was gonna be here?”

  “I just found out,” she said, trying to swallow her dread.

  “That’s why you wanted to go somewhere else.” He smirked. “You don’t have to worry about me, doll. I can handle this guy.”

  “Casey, please.” She stepped in front of him, her eyes pleading as she planted a hand on his solid chest. “Don’t start anything with Blaise. This is a public place. As your agent, I’m telling you we can’t afford this kind of publicity.” She knew she was grasping at straws. Boxing fans would eat this up.

  “Don’t worry, doll.” Casey closed his hands around her waist. “I won’t bust him up too bad. Not this time.”

  Kiara’s only thought was of what might happen if Blaise got in a fight and suffered another concussion. “Please, I’m begging you—”

  “Hmm, I do love a woman who begs.” He licked his lips as he leered at her cleavage.