Hated Secret Admirer

by Vanessa Sueroz

If you're one of those that think that basketball or volleyball or any other sport is dangerous than you're never watched a soccer game, specially one played by my school. The game is...tense! Literally tense. There's always someone breaking something, falling, soccer cleats on legs, and the like...

  I think Vitor and Luks are basically patched together! Would they look like Frankenstein in shorts?

  What? It's a real possibility, they break their bones all the time. And no...I've never seen any of them wearing shorts. It's against school rules. Which I think it's totally unfair since girls can wear skirts.

  "Why do girls like that kind of stuff?" Vitor asked bitterly.

  "Because it's nice!" I answered, confident.

  "It's not nice, Paula. It's annoying and it bores me," Vitor answered back shrugging.

  "Vitor, you’ve never read chick lit to know if it's good or not," I say, annoyed.

  Lie! I wasn't really annoyed, I just wanted to tease Vitor. I definitely like annoying Vitor.

  "Well, I'm sure it's boring. I don't need to read it to know. Those books make girls have the wrong idea about what a real guy is like. I can guarantee no real man goes around throwing around the l-word."

  "Real man say the l-word all the time, even when it's not true," Ana says.

  "Real men don't feel the l-word, except sometimes, for their own moms," Vitor finished.

  "Any person can feel any feeling, man or woman. Real men accept their feelings and aren’t ashamed of them," Fernando said poetically.

  Did I say already that I love Fernando's comments?

  "You agree with me, right, Luks?" Vitor asked, ignoring Nando.

  "Of course not. I agree with Fernando. You have to be a real man to admit to being in love," he said, shrugging.

  Sometimes Lucas says something awesome. I think he doesn't talk much because he has had no one to inspire him. Has he ever been in love?

  I know everyone says he used to be in love with me, but that's in the past, when he didn't know me enough to understand how crazy I am. After we became friends he obviously saw how deluded he was thinking how perfect I was and all that, and gave up.

  "I propose that Vitor reads the Paula's corny book," Ana says thoughtful.

  "You taking Ana's dare?" Andressa asked.

  "And why would I read that horrible thing?" He asked, pointing at my book.

  "It's not horrible!" I said, annoyed. "Lu, tell him my awesome, amazing book is not horrible!" I asked pouting.

  Someone here has to defend me from Vitor, right? And who better than Lucas, the know-it-all?

  "Vitor, stop picking on Paula. Her books are not horrible," Lucas said, smiling at me.

  Isn't he cute? That's why I love Lucas.

  I think I've said this before...whatever! I love my crazy, cute friends, except for Vitor, who as cuddly as a hedgehog, and crazy to boot.

  "They're not horrible because they keep her quiet when you want to read about soccer," Vitor said.

  Lucas only likes my books because they keep me quiet? That hurts!

  "What? I don't believe it!" I said, annoyed.

  "Vitor, stop twisting my words," Lucas asked, testily.

  "Then what did you say?" I asked angrily.

  "I said that when you're reading I take the chance to read soccer news online, since you won't be talking with me and you don't like it when I watch games on the TV."

  "Translating, when you're quiet and let him do what he likes," Vitor said viciously.

  "No one deserves a man that doesn't like soccer. They're never quiet," Ana said.

  Et tu, Ana? When did Ana get a boyfriend?

  "And when did you get yourself a boyfriend to know that?" Andressa asked, taking my side.

  "I date sometimes," she said defensively.

  "Not at school, of course," Vitor said, trying not to laugh.

  "Dating at school can interfere with school," Ana said haughtily.

  "Or maybe it's because no one at school is interested," Vitor laughed.

  Vitor is so mean! You don't tell a girl something like that.

  "That's not quite right. There was Anderson in 8th grade," Ana said, decided to have the last word.

  "You weren't serious. You went together to the ball and split there since he wanted to dance and you wanted to keep sitting down," Fernando rebutted.

  "Why are we talking about me? Weren't we talking about how Lucas can't stand the sound of Paula's voice?" She asked, trying to deflect the heat.

  "See how they twist what I say?" Lucas asked me.

  "Right..." I answered, pouting craftily.

  Lucas is a cutie but I can't simply accept the things he does and not even pretend I didn’t like it, right? Then he gets used to it, and stops being so cute.

  "Coming back around. Are you going to read the book, Vitor?" Andressa asked.

  "Of course not. What's in it for me?" He asked.

  "When you criticize Paula's books no one would be able to say anything," Andressa said, shrugging.

  "I'm still not convinced," he said, thoughtful.

  "Just read it, Vitor. I bet you'll like it," I told him, excited.

  "And how do I know if it's cool?" Vitor asked suspiciously. "Can I quit if it's bad?"

  "By reading it!" I answered impatiently.

  "I don't know, Paulie," he said, thoughtful.

  "Just sit down and read it already!" I answered, annoyed.

  Sometimes someone has to be the grown up around here!

  "Since you asked so nicely..." he said, pulling the book from my hands. "But I can't guarantee I'll like it."

  "You will!" I said confidently.

  "You're too confident sometimes," he said heading to my armchair. "Now, move," he said stopping in front of me and mimicking me by tapping his foot on the floor.

  "And why would I move?" I asked, arching my eyebrow.

  "Well... That's the best spot in the room during winter, and if I’m going to be made to read this crap then I want to, at least, be seated in the best spot."

  "The fact that it is the best spot is the reason why it's mine," I said, rolling my eyes.

  As if I'd give up my seat to Vitor just to he grows some balls and reads my book.

  I know it's the best spot, but it's not my fault I got here first. It's a one person armchair. And I can lie down comfortably on it.

  I was lost in thoughts when I heard Victor's voice from far away.

  "Hold this for a minute."

  How he loves to annoy me! Suddenly I felt one of his arms going under my knees and the other on my back, my weight leaving the armchair – that's when I realized Vitor was carrying me not-so-delicately away from my chair.

  "Where do you think you're taking me?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest, annoyed, and giving him an evil glare.

  "I'm removing you from my spot," he said, ignoring said evil glare.

  My evil glare scares everyone, or at least it should. That's why it's called an evil glare, so people are scared into doing what I want them to do. Unfortunately, it doesn't always work.

  "Luks, I never gave you a gift. Now I'm giving you Paulie. Enjoy," Vitor said, dumping me in Lucas's lap.

  Who couldn't have guessed that's what he'd do? Sometimes Vitor can be so predictable.

  "You give me a gift every year for my birthday," Lucas said, shrugging.

  "If you don't want Paulie, I can give her to Fernando," Vitor said taking me back.

  "Leave her here,” Lucas asked, making Vitor put me back in his lap.

  "Thanks, Andressa," Vitor said, getting the book back from her and sitting on my armchair.

  "You comfortable, Paulie?" Annie asked me, laughing.

  "Not really, Lucas is too scrawny," I pretended to whisper.

  "Scrawny?" Andressa asked laughing.

  "Was that sarcasm? Are you calling me fat?" Lucas asked, looking outraged.

  "No...I'm just disagreeing with Paula. You're not that scrawny," she said defensively.

  "Let alone fat," Ana added smi
ling. "I'd say hot," she finished evilly.

  "Annie, you perv!" I said, outraged.

  For those who don't know Annie, she's very bold. She simply says whatever she wants to the boys, no matter how awkward it might seem.

  Andressa, however, it's too shy. She can't tell them they look handsome or anything, in fact just kissing them on the cheek is hard for her.

  As you can see, I'm the only normal one.

  "Paulie doesn't think so," Lucas said, looking annoyed.

  I know he was just pretending, but it's fun to pretend to believe him.

  "Lucas, baby, your arms are all bone. Of course I can't say the same about your legs because of soccer, but I'd suggest you start going to the gym," I said, smiling friendly.

  "I think you just got shot down," Fernando laughed.

  "What do you mean, my arms are skinny? Look who's talking, you're just bones," he said angrily.

  "Are you going to let him talk with you like that?" Ana asked, adding fuel to the fire.

  "I am not bony," I said angrily.

  "You have no meat," he said, pinching my belly.

  "That's a good thing! At least I'm not fat!" I said angrily.

  "But there's nothing to grab on to!" Lucas complained again.

  "Better than having too much to grab on to," I shot back, listening to Andressa laughing.

  "Too much? Where?" Lucas asked outraged.

  I thought it was best to stop with the joke before Lucas started taking it too seriously, so I put an end to the conversation.

  "Your hair, of course," I said, winking.

  "I'm not even going to answer that, Miss Paula," he said with a mischievous smile.

  I love it when he smiles like that, specially when we're joking around, because that smile means that everything is okay, better than okay.

  "I think after this mess, I'm going to bed. You know how it is...unfortunately, we have class tomorrow," Andressa said, rising from the couch.

  "I'll go with you, Andressa," Fernando said making my friend, obviously, blush.

  "And there go the two love birds to hook up in private," Ana said once they were out of sight.

  "Not everyone is like you, Annie," I teased her.

  "That's true. There's people like you and Lucas that do the dirty out in the open," she smiled lewdly.

  "What are we doing that's so dirty?" Lucas asked, not understanding.

  Poor thing! He never gets Annie's hints. In fact, I think men in general don't get hints. Some men don't even get it when you're direct.

  "You're always fooling around on the couch. I'm an innocent, you know... I can't unsee these kind of things," she added, pretending to cover her eyes with her hand.

  "We're not doing anything. Vitor dropped me here when he stole my seat," I complained.

  "And you, smarty-pants that you are, still haven't left," Ana answered evilly.

  Does she need to remind me of that?

  "I think that's my cue to go to bed too," I said disappointed.

  There was nothing I could say. I know Lucas says I'm the one that always has the creative answer on the tip of her tongue, but that's not how things work. What did they want me to say? Better to leave now while I still have my dignity.

  "Could the three hens be quiet. I'm honestly trying to read a little," Vitor complained, irritated.

  "I think he's in a bad mood," I told Lucas.

  "He's always in a bad mood," my friend answered, laughing.

  "I heard that, you pussy," Vitor answered, still annoyed.

  "You were supposed to, Vitinho," Lucas shot back laughing.

  "I'm going to the monitor’s lounge. I can't focus with you talking all the time," he said grumpily.

  "And I'm the one the crabby one," I whispered to Lucas.

  "How are you getting in if they changed the locks again?" Annie asked, teasing.

  "How do you know they changed the locks?" Vitor asked, outraged.

  "Well...because Paula told me this morning," she answered cockily.

  I hate it when Ana wants to show off to Vitor, they always end up fighting and dragging me to the middle of it.

  "Blonde Paula Luks, I demand to have a copy of the new key," Vitor said sulkily, making Annie laugh.

  "Where did you get that from?" I asked bitterly.

  Where does he get that stuff from? And since when does my name come before Lucas's nickname?

  "I'm both of you guys' best friend and I demand to have a copy of the key to go into the monitor's room."

  The monitor's lounge isn't even that cool. It's in the middle of our grades' dorm's staircase, and it's an ordinary room, with two comfy armchairs like the one I was sitting on before Vitor stole it from me, a center table with a jar of flowers, a study table, and a bathroom.

  "What's in it for me?" I asked.

  "Luks, give me the key already," Vitor demanded one more time.

  "Work it out with blondie," Lucas said, laughing openly.

  I think he likes to provoke Vitor, actually, I'm pretty sure of it, and I think it goes both ways.

  "C'mon, Paulie. I promise not to call you Mrs. Luks for the next 24 hours."

  "I'm still not convinced," I said with guile.

  "How about I also don't call you washed out blonde or derivatives of it," he proposed, thoughtful.

  "Now you're starting to convince me."

  "Just give me the damn key!" He said, annoyed.

  He's way too stressed!

  "I'll get the key for you, Vitinho," Annie said and they left, leaving Lucas and me alone.

  "I think it's better if we turn in," I said when Lucas started to open his mouth and start talking.

  You know how it is, we might have the best relationship possible right now, but that's no reason to allow myself to stay alone with him in the room, specially in this awkward position.

  "Stay a little bit more. I promise that if you fall asleep, I'll take you to your room."

  I said he can be a cutie!

  "But I'm so sleepy I won't pay you much attention," I protested.

  "When you stop talking I'll know you fell asleep," he said, laughing.

  I'm not sure how long we stayed up talking or how I got to bed, after all even though Lucas said he'd take me, that's impossible because he can't climb the stairs to my room. It's against the rules. Though I'm pretty sure he doesn't care.

  I woke up super late and wanting to kill the first person that crossed my path because no one woke me up in time for breakfast.

  "We're late!" I screamed when I saw I wasn't the only one to lose breakfast hour.

  Annie and Andressa were also sleeping, almost drooling.

  It was chaos for all of us to get ready – after all, we were all late for class. Breakfast? No way.

  "Has anyone seen my bra?" Andressa asked, desperate.

  "I don't care about bras. I want to know where my lipstick is!" Annie complained, annoyed.

  Why are they complaining about useless stuff when my book Misunderstandings in Paris is gone?

  "Has anyone seen my precious book?" I asked while dumping my whole wardrobe on the floor.

  "What do I care about your book? How am I leaving this room if I can't find my bra?" Andressa asked, desperate.

  "Just put on several thick winter shirts and no one will be able to tell. It's even cold outside," I said, still tossing the room for my book.

  "That's a good idea. I've done it a few times. Actually, I've gone to class in my pajamas several times and no one noticed," Ana said still messing up the dresser. "The important thing is my lipstick. How can I go out in this cold without lip protection?"

  "Just borrow my lip gloss," Andressa answered while putting on winter shirts and looking in the mirror.

  "The big issue here is my book! How can I survive a whole day without my book?" I asked, panicked.

  I honestly don't know how anyone survives certain classes without a cute book to read and as a distraction. Do you want an example? Who can take the teacher droning on about an i
ndustrial revolution that happened during a year when my grandma wasn't even an idea? Impossible!

  The boys usually pass notes, so they can survive without a book. But they're a bunch of troublemakers. Good students like me can't pass notes in class, only when it's a dire need or too big a gossip.

  Fine... I've passed notes in class, but it was urgent, it was a girl's reunion in the middle of Geography class, Annie really needed it, she'd just been asked out by Marcelo and we had to think about the clothes she was going to wear and everything.

  But going back...how can a normal person survive a class like that without some kind of distraction? Impossible!

  "Take another book. We know you have a hidden collection," Andressa shrugged.

  See how they don't care about my mental sanity? How can I simply grab another book? I was finishing reading that one, I can't simply forget about that one and it's cute characters and complicated lives to start another one. They're so insensitive!

  "I don't have a hidden collection. Just a few books I need to survive the school year," I answer, ignoring her laughter.

  "Let's go downstairs. We're already too late to waste time with books," Annie said, grabbing her backpack.

  "And what about my mental sanity?" I asked, being ignored and dragged down the stairs.

  "What's with the face, angel?" Lucas asked me when I got near the couch he was sitting on.

  "My friends are heartless and I lost my precious book," I answer dramatically, arms crossed on my chest and a huge pout.

  "Oh my God!" He said trying not to laugh and giving me a hug. "I can't help you with your friends, but what book did you lose?" He asked.

  "Will you two stop that and let's head to class? We're already late," Fernando said impatiently.

  "Where's Vitor?" Annie asked.

  "He slept in the monitor's lounge and was even later that you girls. He's still taking a shower," Fernando answered, shrugging.

  "I'm hungry!" Andressa complained.

  "We brought toast," Fernando said blushing, handing them to the girls.

  "I don't want toast! I want my book!" I said, almost crying.

  I have Geography class today. How will I survive?

  "Lucas, I won't make it till tomorrow," I told him, desperate.

  "What's wrong with her?" I heard Fernando asking.

  "Probably PMS," Andressa answered, shrugging.

  "It's not PMS!" I screamed, outraged.