Hated Secret Admirer

by Vanessa Sueroz

  "What are you going to do?" Andressa asked me.

  "I don't know. It's obviously him who's been sending the roses," I said.

  "And why would it come in two different envelopes?" Vitor asked.

  "To draw attention, maybe," I suggested.

  "I think it was two people, two different letter," he shrugged.

  "I think André didn't take no as an answer," Andressa said.

  "Are you going to answer the letter?" Fernando asked.

  "I don't think he's waiting for one," Lucas said, pointing out that the girl that delivered the letters had left already.

  I'm not sure why, but conversation died down after that. I don't know how or why, but no one was in the mood for talking after the letters. I think everybody was tense.

  I confess! I was tense. I don't want anything from André beyond friendship. But even though the roses and everything are pain in the ass, it's kind of cute that he cares about me so much to the point of sending me roses so I'll remember him.

  After that we lasted not even half hour and then we decided to go to bed. As usual, the boys accompanied us to our bedroom door.

  "Here you are!" Fernando said, smiling.

  Again, as usual, Andressa searched for the key to open the door. I know! It's ridiculous to think that with a purse that size she can lose the room key, specially because she put a not-so-discreet keychain on it.

  And as if the senior boys couldn't get into the room. We found out some of the keys are the same, I think only the seniors know this, but I see no difference between having your room broken into by a freshman or a senior. The key only makes it difficult, it doesn't stop it.

  As it always happens when the boys walk us to our room, Fernando was the first to say goodbye. He gave me a clumsy kiss on the face. Andressa was still looking for the keys. Then he lingered kissing her cheek, and I must add that his blush only got worse, not to mention Andressa's. Then he walked slowly away, probably waiting for the others.

  Then it was Victor's turn, who grabbed me while I was struggling to open the door and gave me a big kiss...on the cheek! Then he kissed Andressa and, obviously, took the opportunity to mess her hair.

  Then came Lucas, who said goodbye to Andressa and me with a kiss on the cheek and a sad smile. As soon as they walked away we went in. As always, I stayed by the door watching them walk away so Vitor had no reason to say that we slammed the door on his face. Believe me, he says that.

  I leaned against the doorjamb thinking about how weird Lucas was acting today, specially when he ran to the field to "practice". What happened for him to be acting like that? And now again. I thought he'd had cheered up after our talk in the kitchen, but again he looked unhappy.

  "Paulie," I heard Lucas calling me, and to my surprise he as standing in the hallway around ten steps from me. Vitor and Fernando were up ahead and stopped walking when he called my name.

  "Go ahead, Lucas," I asked, smiling.

  Who knows he decides to tell me what's been worrying him all day.

  "Don't go on the date with André tomorrow," he asked, with a morose voice.

  What a weird request! Why wouldn't he want me to meet André?

  "Why, Lucas?" I asked, curious.

  "Just don't hook up with him, angel," he reinforced the request, but didn't give me an explanation.

  Did André have a contagious disease and no one told me? Why does no one want me to go near him? I've said already that I'm not going to go around kissing the guy, but not meeting him when he asked it's complicated. Fine, today I'd said I wouldn't kiss him and it happened anyways, but everyone has to understand I didn't want that kiss.

  I know I've missed several dates I didn't set, but it's strange... Does Lucas have a good reason for all of this and doesn't want to tell me?

  I didn't have time to answer Lucas because when I realized he'd already walked away.

  Chapter 6: Lost in Thought

  A few days passed since Lucas had asked me not to meet André and guess what? Yeah...I didn't go!

  Of course I didn't go! If Lucas asked me not go to it's because he had a good reason, but unfortunately he didn't want to tell me what it was. As a matter of fact, not him, not Vitor, and much less Fernando, that laughed when I asked.

  Lucas returned to normal after that day, I think he had PMS or whatever the male equivalent is, after all it's not just girls that suffer from PMS, as any woman can tell you. Men may not have technical issues once a month, but they still have PMS, actually some never stop.

  Whatever...Lucas's momentary depression stopped after I flaked on André. I think, in the end, his issue was with André. I don't tell me it was obvious because I only got it now.

  After the failure that was our visit to Campos de Jordão, André and I were never alone together, there's always a friend (either his or mine) around, which in my opinion, it's great, since I don't want to talk about It. Not that I'm a scaredy-cat or anything, but I've forgotten my speech about how I don't like him that way, that I just want to be friends and all that, so it's better if we don't talk about it, or else I'll have to improvise.

  To make things worse, the amount of roses only increased after my fight with André. I think he was hurt by all this and it's trying to make me talk with him or, I don't know, forgive him for the kiss he had no permission to steal.

  I didn't give him permission for the kiss, like Andressa keeps saying – after all, I was totally distracted and didn't see him coming near. Also for me to give him permission he would've had to have asked, and honestly I didn't hear him say a word about kissing or anything like it.

  The roses, which before only showed up in my bedroom's window and my fork, were now becoming very annoying. Fine, they were always annoying, but, believe me, it got worse.

  If I was about to sit down, there would be a rose on the couch, if I was going to brush my teeth, there would be a rose in the bathroom closet, if I was going to read a book, there would be a rose marking my place, when I woke up there was a rose on the nightstand, anyway... everywhere I went, there roses followed.

  How did André always know where I was? That kind of thing seems more like the boys and not André. Or is it knowing where I am a male thing? Because, honestly, I suck at finding someone or something, believe me: I never find it.

  I'm starting to feel stalked! It should be forbidden for people to know where you are so easily, or keep sending roses to every place you are. It's so weird.. People already think I'm weird because I'm so short and whatever, but now with those roses following me... I'm practically an alien around here.

  What if someone put a tracker on me, like they did in the movies? My God! What if there's a tracker in my shoes or in my purse? Even worse, what if someone paid off my dentist to put something tiny in my teeth? No...there's no way of that happening, right?

  What if giving roses to someone means something else in a different country that we don't know? Not that I think André is from another country, besides, I remember I once asked him where he was born and he told me a Brazilian city, so, unless he lied, it's not possible that he knows another countries' customs. But if you think about it, he may have someone in his family that's from another country and knows its customs. But he must be crazy if he thinks that I know another country's customs.

  I have nothing against other countries and much less cultures, don't get me wrong, but I barely know my own country's culture, much less another country's. So he can't possible believe that I know something about weird roses in other countries. For that matter, nowadays I hardly know what's happening here, much less somewhere else in the country, specially another country.

  Speaking of other countries, I just remembered my mom promised to take me to see Australia, and never did! Damn it! It must be so cool to travel... Fine...I confess! I never traveled far. I never went on a plane and the only car trip I took was to the neighboring town, which doesn't really count, since it was a three-hour trip and the city was pretty similar to the city I already live in, so it wa
sn't really a trip.

  If I think about it, I have no culture. Fernando once told me that to really know something you either have to live it or study a lot about it. So I have no culture, since I don't read books about different cultures. Like I said before, I don't travel – let me make it clear that I would like to travel, but unfortunately it never works, either we don't have money, or my parents can't take time off, or some relative decides to set something up and we can't miss it, and so on...

  I wonder if I ask Andressa, she'd take me with her on vacation? After all, she travels every vacation! Not only her...lots of times Lucas tells me about his trips, Vitor tags along with Lucas, and even Fernando, who's a homebody, travels sometimes. I'm the only one that comes from vacation talking about the most boring TV shows and movies like Blue Lagoon that are always on, so much of a classic I can't take it anymore.

  "Paula, I think there's something here for you," I heard Andressa calling me from the bathroom.

  "I'm still sleeping!" I grumbled back.

  I definitely don't want to get up from my bed. Can anyone blame for not wanting to get up at 6AM on a cold day like today? I don't think so!

  "But you have to see this!" Andressa asked again.

  What could be so important to take me out of bed before it's even my turn to shower?

  "If you're just messing with me..." I complained, getting up.

  What I won't do to make them let me sleep a little more.

  "Speak, creature!" I said when I had finally dragged myself to the bathroom.

  "Gift for you," Andressa said, laughing and pointing to the toilet.

  "I'm not looking at whatever gross thing someone left in there," I said, trying to leave the bathroom.

  Gross!

  "I bet you'll want to see!" Andressa said, laughing harder.

  "Andressa, friend, you're way too gross. I'm going to have to tell Fernando, in case he's thinking of marrying you."

  "I'm being serious, Paula. Take a look and see what your admirer’s decided to do," she said, rolling her eyes.

  Does no one respect me around here? How many times do I have to say I'm the only one that has the right to roll her eyes around here? It's my thing, and just mine. Like Lucas' thing of passing his fingers through his hair, and Vitor's twisted smile, anyhow... My thing!

  "Just look already!" My friend asked impatiently.

  What won't I do for a friend!

  "But what the..." I started.

  In the toilet there wasn't what you'd expect when someone say there's a gift there, this time there was an actual gift, like a literal one. Another red rose floated on the water. I think André was getting more creative and crazy, specially crazy.

  "I think we need to take a photo of this as proof that the guy’s going insane," Andressa said.

  "That's a lot of cuckoo," I said before going to flush the thing.

  "Don't do that! I want a photo," Andressa complained.

  "Of a flower in a toilet? I'm starting to think you're the crazy one, Andressa. Let's erase the evidence and pretend this never happened!" I suggested.

  "I'm not going to pretend nothing happened. Vitor is going to love to hear about this, just think how much they'll laugh when they know."

  "For the love of God! The boys can't know, I'll be hearing about it for the rest of my life. Swear to me you won't tell!" I asked, shaking the poor thing by her pajamas.

  "But it will be funny... Vitor will probably die laughing," she pouted.

  "Andressa!" I asked again.

  Doesn't she get that they'll remember this for the rest of my life? I can just imagine, twenty years from now, we all getting together for a barbecue at someone's house, then Vitor goes, ‘You guys remember that insane dude that was crazy about Paula and left a rose in the toilet?’. I can see the whole thing in my head, and I'm not that creative to come up with those things.

  "Fine...I won't tell, but if you change your mind, don't tell them without me," she asked.

  "Deal!" I answered, smiling.

  Obviously, after that I went back to my bed while Andressa showered.

  After a nap and a nice shower we finally met with the boys in the dining hall.

  "Look at the sleepy-heads!" Vitor joked.

  "Good morning!" Fernando said, kissing our cheek.

  The kissed lingered more than necessary with Andressa, I might add.

  "Good morning!" We answered.

  Andressa had a huge smile, I don't know if because of Fernando or because she was thinking about the rose from earlier.

  "And how are we going to enjoy our Saturday?" I heard Lucas asking.

  "I vote we all go back to bed and sleep for a few more hours," I said.

  "Today Paula only thinks about sleeping!" Andressa complained to Vitor.

  "I'm sleepy, not deaf, Andressa," I complained, pouting.

  How is it my fault if I keep dreaming of flowers and can't get a good night's sleep?

  "We could go pick on someone. That's always fun," Vitor said, eyes shining with that smile.

  Good thing this time that smile isn't directed at me, or at least I don't think so.

  "No picking on the freshmen, Vitor," I said, rolling my eyes.

  "You're no fun, Red!" He complained, pouting, trying to make me feel bad.

  "Why don't we go out dancing?" Andressa asked, excited.

  "Dancing? And where would we go? There's no clubs around," Lucas said, thoughtful.

  "And clubs are only fun at night, and we can't go out at night," Fernando said, thoughtful.

  "But we can make our own club," Andressa said, excited.

  Make a club? For the love of God, where did she get that crazy idea from? Not that my friend is crazy. Fine. She’s a little crazy. I confess! She's totally crazy, but let's not exaggerate, okay? How are we to build, furnish, and whatever else we need to make our own club? Besides, where are we going to find a DJ at this time?

  I confess, it would be pretty cool to have our own club, where only cool music plays, and ideally there are no alcoholic drinks at the bar. There should also have something to snack on, a portion of chips and other yummy things.. And those cool thing that glow in the dark, but no smoke, because it irritates my eyes and I go blind with that awful smoke in my face.

  I can see the headlines now: Red's club is a success. People from around the world would want to come to our club, spend a fortune, meet some nice people... Also, you'd have to be a nice person to go in, I don't want those stuck up annoying people in our club.

  What about a floor with colorful neon light? Wow! I love it! Lights showing the way instead of those ugly like signs.

  People would get a pretty ticket to keep track of their drinks so they don't have keep paying for their drinks, and, of course, there will have to have waiters and a checkroom, because no one should be dancing while holding their jackets. Actually, there would be multiple checkroom so no one would have to wait forever in queues.

  And maybe a really cool accessories store in there, because there are people that definitely don't know how to dress for a party, and they'd be able to get some things to spruce up their looks.

  I can see the blinking lights, the DJ playing, and me looking awesome, the boys dressed as bad boys, security at the doors, VIP rooms with couches and the whole thing. Gorgeous young people everywhere and lots of fun.

  "Paula!" I heard someone calling me.

  The being that always annoys me when I'm thinking, Vitor.

  "What, Vi?" I asked, trying to be nice and pretending he didn't mess up my trip to our future club.

  "I'm talking to you," he said frowning.

  "And I'm listening," I answered, even if it is a lie.

  As if I'd say I was thinking about our club's grand opening. He'd want to ruin my plans and have women dancing on top of the counter and then that's it for my perfect club!

  "Then repeat what I said," he asked, crossing his arms, pissed off.

  "Fernando, honey, why don't you take Vitor for a walk?" I asked F
ernando, trying to push the spotlight from me.

  But, you can believe it, it rarely happens. When they get on me, I don't stand a chance.

  "You weren't paying attention to what I was saying," Vitor complained, accusing me.

  "Lucas, your friend is pointing the finger at me," I complained to Lucas with my best pout.

  Lucas is softhearted and hates to see women crying or anything like it, so it isn't hard to make him come to my defense against the wicked Vitor.

  "Vitor, you know that Paula lives in another world. There's no use fighting with her about it," Lucas defended me.

  Of course it wasn't the best defense in the world, after all, I don't live in another world and I usually pay attention to what people are saying. Not that that's something against Vitor, but it's not my fault if he usually starts talking like a maniac and wants everyone to pay attention to him.

  "You're not paying attention to me again," Vitor complained again.

  "Vi, baby, I think you have an attention complex," I answered, smiling and pinching his cheek.

  I don't get it why some people can't stand only having half of someone else's attention. As if everyone paid attention to everything I say all the time... I'm sure they don't, if they did they would've stopped saying that I live in another world.

  How is it my fault if I have a vivid imagination, and friends to light it up? It's not my fault!

  But, going back to my club, I even know the name...

  "Paula!" Vitor yelled in my ear while shaking me.

  What does he think I am? A roly-poly toy? You know...those toys that you push on one side and it comes and goes. I know, it's pathetic, but someone made it that way and don't ask me what's the use of a roly-poly, if it has any besides making crazy people like Andressa laugh.

  "What is it, Vitor?" I asked, trying to concentrate on the being in front of me.

  "I was offering you chocolate, but because you didn't answer when I asked, there's nothing left," he answered with a huge pout.

  Vitor is such a drama queen!

  "Why did you eat it all and didn't leave some for me? What kind of friend are you?!" I complained, teasing him.

  I didn't care about the chocolate when I had a club to build.