1000 Years of Annoying the French

by Stephen Clarke

  Les Silences du Colonel Bramble, André Maurois, 1921

  The Last Fighting Tommy: The Life of Harry Patch, Harry Patch and Richard van Emden, 2007

  World War Two

  Allies at War, Simon Berthon, 2001

  Marthe Richard: L’aventurière des maisons closes, Natacha Henry, 2006

  The British Channel Islands under German Occupation, 1940–1945, Paul Sanders, 2005

  Instructions for British Servicemen in France, Herbert Ziman, 1944

  Post-War

  Talk to the Snail, Stephen Clarke, 2006

  Les Carnets du Major W. Marmaduke Thompson, Pierre Daninos, 1954

  Loi n° 94-665 du 4 août 1994 relative à l’emploi de la langue française, Jacques Toubon, 1994

  Illustration Credits

  p.8 Bayeux tapestry facsimile: detail ‘hic fecerunt prandium’ © Mary Evans Picture Library/Alamy.

  p.69 Battle of Crécy: illumination from a fourteenth-century manuscript of Froissart’s Chronicles © Roger-Viollet.

  p.100 Joan of Arc at the stake: illumination from ‘Les Vigiles de Charles VII’ by Martial d’Auvergne, 1484. Ms Fr 5054 f.71, Bibliothèque nationale de France, Paris /Bridgeman Art Library.

  p.136 Execution of Mary Queen of Scots: woodcut © Bettmann/Corbis.

  p.177 Exploding Champagne bottle, from Facts about Champagne …, 1879.

  p.183 Louis XIV as Apollo: anonymous seventeenth-century watercolour design for the ballet ‘La Nuit’, Bibliothèque nationale de France, Paris, © RMN/Agence Bulloz.

  p.268 The Guillotine, anonymous eighteenth-century engraving, private collection/Bridgeman Art Library.

  p.291 Un Petit Souper à la Parisienne, or A Family of Sans-Culottes Refreshing after the Fatigues of the Day, hand-coloured etching by James Gillray, 1792, © the Warden and Scholars of New College, Oxford/Bridgeman Art Library.

  p.300 French plan for the invasion of England: anonymous engraving, 1801, © Lordprice Collection/Alamy.

  p.378 Napoleon III with his son on his knee, London, c. 1872, © Interfoto/Alamy.

  p.384 ‘The Phylloxera, a true gourmet, finds out the best vineyards and attaches itself to the best wines’, cartoon by Edward Linley Sambourne from Punch, 6 September 1890.

  p.394 Edward VII at the Chabanais: cartoon published in L’Indiscret, 1903.

  p.464 ‘Ah! Mon cher Général! Where have you been all this time!’, cartoon by David Low, Evening Standard, 24 October 1944. Evening Standard/Solo Syndication.

  p.488 ‘Up Yours Delors’, Sun front page, 1 November 1990. NI Syndication.

  Index

  Aberdeen, George Hamilton-Gordon, Earl of, subsidizes Louis-Philippe (i)

  Aboukir Bay, Battle of (i)

  Académie française, hatred of Shakespeare (i)

  Acadie (French Nova Scotia)

  French fury about (i), (ii)

  French pillaging (i)

  Acadiens

  deportation (i)

  refugees (i), (ii), (iii)

  Aélis, daughter of William I, forcibly betrothed to Harold Godwinson (i)

  Agincourt, Battle of (i), (ii)

  casualties (i)

  horse named (i)

  Ainsworth, William Harrison, on John Law (i)

  Alençon, Jean, Duke, bludgeoned at Agincourt (i)

  Alexander I Tsar, at Congress of Vienna (i)

  Alexander VI, Pope (Rodrigo Borgia),

  illegitimate children (i)

  ignores French claims in the New World (i)

  Alexandra, tolerant wife of Edward VII (i), (ii)

  Alfred the Great, King of England reason for Greatness (i)

  Algeria, French colonization (i), (ii), (iii), (iv)

  Aliens Act, against French émigrés (i)

  Amadas, Philip, grabs Virginia (i)

  America

  British softness in (i)

  causes/cures phylloxera epidemic (i)

  de Gaulle’s aversion to (i), (ii)

  Napoleon’s cut-price sale of (i)

  why not French (i)

  American cultural expats in Paris (i)

  American Revolution, French aid during (i), (ii)

  Amiens, Peace of (i)

  Anarchy, The, Mathilde/Stephen war (i)

  Anet, chateau of Diane de Poitiers (i)

  anglicisms adopted by French in WWI (i)

  Anglo-Norman kings (i)

  Anglo-Saxon Chronicle on torture during The Anarchy (i)

  insults William I (i), (ii)

  Anglo-Saxon language (i)

  Anglo-Saxons

  Barack Obama considered as one (i)n

  hatred of Normans 11 et seq

  outdated battle tactics of (i)

  Ango, Jean, funds exploration of North America (i)

  Anjou, Hercule-François Duke of, suitor for Elizabeth I (i)

  Annaud, Jean-Jacques, on French (i)

  Anne Queen of England, and Marlborough (i)

  Anne Queen Regent of France, mother of Louis XIV (i), (ii)

  Anne-Marie-Louise d’Orléans (Mademoiselle), Charles II’s wooing (i)

  Anon, French author of quotation on English cooking (i)

  Anti-Royalist massacres (i), (ii)

  Antommarchi, François Carlo, autopsies Napoleon (i)

  Aprise, Sir Griffen, at Field of Cloth of Gold (i)

  Aragon, Louis, and underground publishing during WWII (i)

  archeologists, French, in Egypt (i), (ii), (iii)

  archery, English discovery and adoption of (i), (ii), (iii)

  Argall, Samuel, eradicates French settlements in Acadie (i)

  Armagnacs

  écorcheurs78

  end French in-fighting (i)

  seek help from Henry V (i)

  support Dauphin (Charles VII) (i)

  Armée des Alpes, Napoleon revives (i)

  Armentières, Mademoiselle from, (i)

  artillery, French develop (i)

  Assemblée nationale, creation of (i)

  Déclaration des droits de l’homme et du citoyen (i)

  Aufray, Hugues, translator of Bob Dylan (i)

  Austerlitz, Battle and railway station (i)

  Austria, Marlborough and (i)

  Austrians, innovators in breadmaking (i), (ii)

  avantgarde art movement, Peggy Guggenheim and (i)

  Azincourt see Agincourt

  Babington, Anthony, admirer of Mary Queen of Scots (i)

  Bacon, Jeanne, indirectly causes Battle of Crécy (i)

  baguette, origin of (i)

  Baker, Josephine, semi-naked American dancer (i)

  on French insults (i)

  ballooning, Napoleon and (i)

  bandits, English, and Hundred Years War (i), (ii)

  Bannockburn, Battle of (i)

  Banque Royale

  John Law creates (i)

  John Law ruins (i)

  Barbanera, Genoese sailor (i), (ii)

  Barbinais, Le Gentil de la, discredited circumnavigation (i)

  Baré, Jean(ne), extraordinary botanist’s assistant (i), (ii)

  Barings Bank, and Louisiana Purchase (i)

  Barlowe, Arthur, grabs Virginia (i)

  barons, English, and Magna Carta (i)

  Barras, Paul, lover of Josephine (i)

  Basile, Pierre, shoots Richard I (i)

  Basque fishermen, discover Newfoundland (i)

  Bastille, reasons for storming (i)

  Bastille Day celebrations (i)

  military parade (i)

  Battle Abbey (i)

  Baudelaire, Charles, poetry influenced by Brits (i)

  Baudricourt, Robert de, convinced by Joan of Arc (i)

  Bayeux Tapestry

  as anti-Norman propaganda (i)

  as supposedly historical record (i), (ii), (iii)

  Bazille, Gaston, and phylloxera (i)

  Beauharnais, Josephine (Rose) (i), (ii)

  affair with cavalryman (i)

  creator of tea rose (i)

  Napoleon divorces (i)


  ‘Not tonight …’ (i)

  dies (i)

  Beaujeu, Tanguy le Gallois de, sails to Gulf of Mexico (i)

  Beaumarchais, Pierre-Augustin Caron de

  as arms dealer (i)

  author of Barber of Seville and Marriage of Figaro (i)

  on English (i)

  Beauvoir, see de Beauvoir

  Becket, Thomas, murdered Archbishop (i), (ii)

  Beckett, Samuel, writer, in Paris (i)

  Bedford, John of Lancaster, Duke of, Henry VI’s regent, buys Joan of Arc (i)

  beef

  English ‘invent’ le steak (i)

  mad-cow disease (i)

  Béhuchet, Nicolas, incompetent French admiral (i)

  Belle-Ile-en-Mer

  Acadien museum on (i)

  Acadiens settle on (i)

  Bellerophon, HMS prevents Napoleon’s escape (i)

  Bellknappe, Sir Edward, at Field of Cloth of Gold (i)

  Benn, Tony, and Concorde (i)

  Berkhamsted, William of Normandy visits (i)

  Bernard the Dane (i)

  Berthon, Simon, on de Gaulle (i)

  Bertrand, Guillaume, friend of Philippe VI (i)

  Béthune, Robert Graves at (i)

  Biard, Father, alleged treachery of (i)

  biftek see beef

  Billori, Martin, Inquisitor of France, wants to burn Joan of Arc (i)

  Biloxi, French fort (i)

  Bismarck, Otto von

  and Sedan (i)

  and siege of Paris (i)

  Black Death, proves advantageous to English (i)

  Black Prince (i), (ii), (iii), (iv)

  Blackadder, William, and death of Henry Darnley (i)

  Blair, Tony and Cherie, and 2012 Olympics bid (i)

  Blampied, Edmund, anti-Nazi stamp designs (i)

  Blanchard, Jean-Pierre, balloon display, Napoleon sabotages (i)

  Blanchard, Sophie, Napoleon’s Chief Air Minister of Ballooning (i)

  blasphemy, and Black Death (i)

  Blenheim, (misnamed) Battle of (i)

  Blenheim Palace as anti–French symbol (i)

  Blet, Henri, on French discovery of New World (i), (ii)

  blocus continental, Napoleon’s attempted trade embargo (i)

  Bloodless Revolution

  anti-French nature of (i)

  Margaret Thatcher and (i)

  most recent invasion of Britain, (i)

  Blücher, Gebhard Leberecht von

  marches on France (i)

  saves Wellington at Waterloo (i)

  Bocage, Anne-Marie du, and ‘unrefined’ England (i)

  Boer War, French attitude to (i)

  Boleyn, Anne (i), (ii)

  Bonaparte family, origins (i)

  Bonaparte, Hortense (i)

  Bonaparte, Joseph, King of Spain (i), (ii)

  Bonaparte, Victor Jérôme (i)

  Bonaparte, Napoleon see Napoleon; Napoleon III

  Bonington, Richard Parkes, painter (i), (ii)

  Bordeaux,

  capitulates to French (i)

  captured by Wellington (i)

  and phylloxera (i)

  Borgia, Rodrigo, see Alexander VI

  Boston Tea Party (i), (ii)

  Bothwell, James Hepburn Earl of, husband of Mary Queen of Scots (i), (ii)

  Bougainville, Louis-Antoine de

  and Falklands (i)

  and Tahiti (i), (ii)

  circumnavigation (i)

  gives name to flower (i)

  Voyage autour du monde (i)

  Boulogne

  Henry VII’s siege of (i)

  Napoleon’s invasion camp (i)

  bourgeoisie, profiteers during Revolution (i)

  Bourgogne, Jean de, French civil war protagonist (i)

  Bourjois, and Chanel (i)

  Bouvines, Battle of (i)

  Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (BSE) (i)

  Boyne, Battle of (i)

  Brabançons, Henry II’s mercenaries (i)

  Brabant, Antoine of Burgundy, Duke of, late arrival at Agincourt (i)

  Bridgeford, Andrew, 1066: The Hidden History of the Bayeux Tapestry (i)

  Brienne, military academy, Napoleon at (i)

  Brillat-Savarin, Jean Anthelme, French refugee in Connecticut (i)

  Britain see England

  British Aircraft Corporation, and Concorde (i)

  British Chamber of Commerce, Paris, Edward VII’s speech to (i)

  British constitutional monarchy

  Napoleon admires (i)

  Voltaire admires (i)

  British Expeditionary Force WWI (i)

  British Expeditionary Force WWII, and Dunkirk (i)

  Brittany, Arthur III, Duke of, survives Agincourt (i)

  Brontë, Charlotte, Jane Eyre (i)

  Brontë, Emily, Wuthering Heights (i)

  Brossolette, Pierre, Resistance hero (i)

  brothels

  British, during WWI (i)

  Edward VII and (i)

  French ban (i)

  see also maisons de tolérance

  Brueys d’Aigalliers, Admiral, and Battle of Aboukir Bay (i)

  bubble, see Mississippi; see also South Sea

  bubble companies, England (i)

  Bucentaure, French flagship at Trafalgar (i)

  Bucke, Charles, on Marlborough (i), (ii)

  Buckingham, George Villiers, Duke of

  and La Rochelle (i), (ii)

  love for James I (i)

  negotiates marriage of Charles I (i)

  tries to bed Queen of France (i)

  Buckingham, George Nugent-Temple-Grenville, Marquess of, employs French émigrés (i)

  Bulwer-Lytton, Edward, author of ‘the pen is mightier than the sword’ (i)

  Buonaparte see Bonaparte; see also Napoleon

  Burghers of Calais (i)

  Burgundians (i), (ii)

  allied with English (i), (ii)

  and Joan of Arc (i)

  Charles VII and (i), (ii)

  Burgundy, Philip ‘the Good’ Duke of, French civil war protagonist (i), (ii)

  Burgundy, Philip IV ‘the Handsome’ Duke of, friend of Henry VII (i)

  Burke, Edmund, Reflections on the Revolution in France (i), (ii)

  Burney, Frances, and émigrés (i)

  Bush, George W.

  and Roquefort cheese (i)

  on America’s ‘eternal ally’, France (i)

  Byng, Admiral Sir John, execution of (i)

  Byron, Noel George Gordon, influenced by French Revolution (i)

  Cabot, John, aka Giovanni Caboto, ‘discovers’ North America (i)

  Cadogan, Alexander, on de Gaulle (i)

  Caen

  Edward III and (i)

  white stone of, favoured by Normans (i), (ii)

  Café Anglais, Edward VII’s exploits in (i)

  Cahun, Claude, anti–Nazi artist (i)

  Cajuns (i), (ii); see also Acadiens

  cake

  English, French love of (i)n, (ii)

  ‘Let them eat …’ (i)

  Calais

  Edward III and (i), (ii), (iii)

  English mis–spelling of (i)

  English occupation of (i)

  Mary Queen of Scots at (i)

  Cambon, Paul, and Entente Cordiale (i)

  Campbell, John, liberates Wales from French (i)

  Campbell, Sir Neil, Napoleon’s jailer on Elba (i)

  Canada (i), (ii)

  Canadians at D–Day (i)

  see also Acadie, Montreal, Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, Quebec

  Capgrave, John, chronicler (i)

  Carey, Lieutenant, and Louis (Prince Imperial) (i)

  Caribbean colonies, French (i)

  Carmelite monks, massacred during Revolution (i)

  Carolinas

  English and (i)

  French and (i)

  Cartier, Jacques, explores St Lawrence (i)

  Casabianca, Giocante de, ‘burning deck’ victim (i)

  Casablanca confe
rence, de Gaulle’s tetchiness at (i)

  Casino Royale, inspired by banning of French brothels (i)

  castle building, Normans and (i)

  Catherine of Aragon (i)

  Catherine, Saint, ‘visits’ Joan of Arc (i)

  Catherine, wife of Henry V (i)

  Cauchon, Pierre, Bishop of Beauvais, is determined to convict Joan of Arc (i)

  Céline, Louis-Ferdinand, pro-Nazi author (i)

  Chabanais, Le, Edward VII’s favourite brothel (i)

  Chabrol, Claude and New Wave (i)

  Châlus Castle, and Richard I’s death (i)

  Chamberlain, Neville, and Munich Conference (i)

  Champagne

  invention of (i)

  Napoleon’s love of (i)

  protected by Treaty of Versailles (i)

  Champagne bottles, English invention (i)

  Champlain, Samuel de, and Quebec (i)

  Champollion, Jean-François, deciphers Rosetta Stone (i)

  Chanel, Coco, fraternizes with Nazis (i)

  Channel Islands, German occupation (i)

  Channel tunnel (i)

  Napoleon’s plans for (i)

  Channel Tunnel Company (i)

  Chaplin, Charlie, influence on French cinema (i)

  Charles I King of England

  attacks Ile de Ré and La Rochelle (i)

  execution (i), (ii)

  Charles II King of England (i)

  and distrust of French (i)

  and Marlborough (i), (ii)

  and Secret Treaty of Dover (i)

  at French court (i)

  refusal to speak French (i)

  Charles VI King of France, French leader at Agincourt (i), (ii), (iii)

  Charles VII King of France (i)

  and Armagnacs (i)

  and Joan of Arc (i), (ii), (iii), (iv)

  Charles IX King of France, refusal to save Mary Queen of Scots (i)

  Charles X King of France (i)

  Chateaubriand, René de, as impoverished émigré (i)

  Chaucer, Geoffrey, as royal messenger in Calais (i)

  Chelmsford, Frederic Thesiger, Baron, and Louis (Prince Imperial) (i)

  Cherokee people, desire for French bribes (i)

  Chevalier, Maurice, and Nazis (i)

  chevauchées, Edward III’s murderous ‘horse-rides’ (i), (ii)

  Chickasaw people, attacked by French (i)

  Chinon Castle

  Henry II’s death in (i),

  Joan of Arc’s arrival at (i), (ii)

  Chirac, Jacques

  and 2012 Olympics bid (i)

  and Queen Elizabeth (i)

  Chislehurst, Napoleon III’s life and death at (i)

  Choltitz, Dietrich von, surrenders Paris (i)

  Churchill, John see Marlborough

  Churchill, Sir Winston, father of Duke of Marlborough (i)

  Churchill, Sir Winston, Prime Minister, (i)

  and Casablanca conference (i)