The Wandering Inn_Volume 1

by Pirateaba

  “You lot could have helped, you know?”

  “Bah. Yon enchanted snowballs are no threat.”

  One of the faeries waved a tiny hand at Erin dismissively. Then she cheered as Toren beheaded the last Golem with a slash of his sword. The skeleton did it in a flashy manner—he ducked as the Snow Golem lunged at him, and his body blurred. Erin blinked as Toren’s sword sliced the head off the Golem and the rest of the body collapsed.

  “Wow, that looks like a Skill, doesn’t it, Lyonette? I wonder how he did that? Can the undead level up?”

  The girl just shuddered and stared at the abominable snowmen. She stared at Erin.

  “How are you so calm? They tried to kill you!”

  “Yeah, but they’re not that dangerous. Besides, isn’t it so cool?”

  Lyon stared at Erin. Erin stared back with a smile on her face.

  “Some monsters are horrible, but this is magic. And we’re on an adventure, right?”

  “…Are we?”

  “Yeah! Oh hey, Toren, wait!”

  Toren paused, foot raised as he prepared to stomp the Snow Golem’s head into mush. Erin frantically waved at him.

  “Wait! Give me a jar!”

  The unnaturally pure snow in the snow Golem’s head froze Erin’s hands even through her gloves as she shoveled it into the jar. But it was definitely magical, so she filled another big jar with snow. Toren stared at the Snow Golem’s face as Erin finished extracting the contents of its head.

  Erin smiled as she held up the heavy jar and stared at it. The snow might melt, but she could see if it was still magical afterwards. Or maybe she’d leave it outside and keep it fresh. Would it create another Snow Golem if it was outside? How did they even form, anyways? Did they eat people? Could they even eat? She breathed onto the glass and wiped away the condensation as she stared at the shimmering white snow inside.

  “Snow Golem brain-snow.”

  Erin thought about that for a second.

  “Ew.”

  —-

  They were quite a ways away from her inn—farther than Erin had ever gone, in truth—when they found the Corusdeer corpses. Erin shouted for Toren to stop the sled and jumped out to stare at the hacked up body parts lying in the snow.

  “This is so awful. What could have done this?”

  The deer had been hacked to bits, at least ten of them. They’d stained the ground red, but the white snow had covered the bodies partially. Only the area around the horns was melted in truth; even as Erin stared, the horns gave off steam in the air.

  “Something killed them, but didn’t eat them. What? An adventurer?”

  She couldn’t imagine Halrac picking on poor animals, but maybe they’d attacked him. Toren looked the other way as Lyonette stared at the bodies and the faeries debated whether they were hungry enough to have deer after the bees.

  Gingerly, Erin approached and stared at one of the Corusdeers’ horns. She was fairly sure she couldn’t use the meat; it might have frozen, but something could have infested it or…or it could just be rotten. She held one hand out towards the horn and touched it.

  “It’s hot!”

  It actually burned her fingers when Erin took off her glove to touch it. She sucked at her fingers and waved Toren over.

  “I want all these horns. Um, wrap them in something or they might set the sledge on fire.”

  Toren stared at the Corusdeer he’d killed and kicked one of the deers’ heads. Then he clattered his jaw and unsheathed his sword and got to work at hacking the horns off the heads. He wasn’t quite wishing the sledge would burst into flames. He was more praying that he accidentally crashed into a Shield Spider pit and they killed everyone at this point in the journey.

  —-

  “Well, that was fun!”

  Erin stretched as Lyonette staggered into the inn and collapsed next to the fire. The girl moaned softly, and Erin turned as Toren lugged the huge collection of jars and the hot Corusdeer horns into the inn. The faeries flew in as well, laughing and in extremely good spirits.

  “Where’s Ryoka and Klbkch?”

  Both Human and Antinium were gone. Ryoka must have finished her thought, and Klbkch was probably back in his hive. And Selys and Mrsha hadn’t returned yet. Erin stared around the inn, momentarily deflated. Now there was no one to share her amazing discoveries with. She looked at the jars Toren was piling on the table.

  “No, not like that, Toren.”

  He was creating an unstable pyramid, as if he wanted the glass jars to break. Erin scowled at him and he began putting them in a more stable configuration.

  “Let’s see. What did we get?”

  She had several small jars filled with different kinds of mushrooms. Some were green, some were purple—one type was a really tall mushroom that came up to knee height and had a spotted crown the size of a car tire. She’d had to cram that one in to the jar. And another was a really tiny mushroom that glowed in the dark. They were all promising, if not edible.

  She also had the honey Toren had stolen from the Hive—a huge jar of it that Toren had to use both hands to carry—and another jar filled with dead bees. And she had the Corusdeer horns and a jar of Snow Golem snow.

  Erin rubbed her hands together happily. Toren put the bundle of horns in a corner of the inn and folded his arms. Lyonette moaned.

  “This is such a great day.”

  Not only did she have new stuff to experiment with, she had a new way to travel! Now Erin could actually go places, with Toren to pull her. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of it before, but an undead could pull her around all night! Why didn’t everyone have…undead horses or something, and ride carriages around? Maybe Pisces could make an undead horse for her.

  Erin’s mind was spinning with possibilities, but one thing was tugging at her mind. She walked up to one of her windows and stared at the sledge. It was part sled, part sleigh. And it was so useful. But…

  Yeah. There was one thing you did in the winter that Erin really hadn’t done yet, had she? She’d been so sick of the snow, and the Frost Faeries that she’d forgotten. Winter was supposed to be fun! She remembered countless days when she’d thrown snowballs, made snow angels, and gone snow sledding. Of course, that was a lot of work—Erin actually preferred snow tubing. Now that was amazingly fun.

  Of course, it was only fun because there was this amazing lift you could hook your snow tube to. It carried you up a huge hill and then you could sled down. If you had to climb the hill every time it would get old fast. It was too bad this world had nothing like that.

  Toren crept towards the inn’s entrance, hiding his sword behind his back as Erin stared at the sledge. Yeah, too bad. Because it would be amazingly fun to ride down a hill in that. But she’d have to pull it up.

  “Unless…someone does it for me.”

  Erin’s eyes shifted sideways and Toren froze as he tried to open the door silently. She grinned.

  “Hey Toren? I’ve got another job for you!”

  —-

  The [Guardsmen] on top of Liscor’s high walls were often bored, but today was a bad day where they were not only bored, but cold. They shivered on their posts, freezing despite the modicum of cover the crenelations gave them from the biting wind. A hot drink would warm them right up, but sadly they would have to wait until they were relieved to enjoy such luxuries.

  Occasionally, Watch Captain Zevarra or Senior Guardsman Klbkch would come up with some hot drinks for everyone on guard, but it didn’t look like one of those days. Relc had stomped by an hour ago, and one look at his face had discouraged any such suggestions. Besides, that Drake never paid for anything if he could help it.

  So the [Guardsmen] were mildly intrigued when they saw the Human young woman who’d already gained some renown in Liscor sitting at the top of a hill. Her skeleton had untangled himself from its harness, and she was staring down the steep incline.

  They’d seen her riding around on the sled earlier of course, and they’d remarked on the odd
ity of the sight. But now the Human was doing something different. She stared down the hill, and then called something towards the skeleton. He ran at the sled and pushed it, and then the [Guardsmen] heard the scream, slightly delayed, as the girl went flying down the hill.

  That was the thing. A sled was customary for sledding for one reason. It was actually slower than something like a sleigh or skis. This was important; while speed was preferable, there was such a thing as too much speed.

  The guardsmen watched the girl shoot down the hill at a speed faster than any horse could gallop, and heard the shriek of terror turn to laughter. They watched as she waved and hollered at the skeleton, and then saw it run down the hill.

  Of course, each Drake and Gnoll on watch had been thinking the same thing: sure it was fun to ride down the hill, but the Human would have to pull the heavy sledge back up, and that would be exhausting. But then as they saw the skeleton run down to the sledge and begin to drag it back up the hill they realized what was going on. Erin shouted and waved at her skeleton as it slowly dragged her back up the hill, and then she slid down again, going even faster on the flattened snow. And she did it again, and again, and again—

  —-

  Ryoka couldn’t tell if it was envy in her heart as she stared down at Erin, or sheer amazement. She’d actually done it. She’d actually found a way to trivialize even Toren’s existence. From undead warrior, he’d become a glorified dishwasher and cleaner. And now he wasn’t even that.

  He was a sled lift.

  “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

  Ryoka muttered the words as she and a crowd of [Guardsmen]—and a large body of Drakes and Gnolls citizenry—watched Erin as she laughed and shot down the hill again.

  Selys held up Mrsha so the Gnoll could see Erin. The Gnoll stared with fascination at Erin, and Klbkch just stared at the sight, perplexed.

  “That is so stupid.”

  Ryoka felt she had to repeat herself, because no one had responded to her comment. She looked down at Erin on the sleigh and hesitated.

  “…I want to ride that thing.”

  She’d gone snowboard and skiing before, but Erin’s crazed vehicle was another level of crazy. It had all the speed of a ski, but added a good deal of weight to the momentum of the ride. Plus, there was virtually no way to steer the thing, so you could only hang on for dear life and pray like hell you didn’t crash.

  If Erin had a stuffed tiger in the back of her ride it would have been perfect, but this looked fun enough.

  “What is it? I’ve never seen something like that.”

  Selys was frowning at Erin’s vehicle. Klbkch nodded.

  “It is not a sleigh, and nor is it a sled. It is some hybrid of the two.”

  “It’s a goddamn sledge.”

  “A what?”

  “It’s something—well, it’s something from where Erin and I come from.”

  Klbkch stared at Ryoka and she caught his eye. He nodded slightly.

  “Ah. I see. And this is a device used for entertainment?”

  “I guess. That’s how she’s using it.”

  “Wheee!”

  Her voice was audible even from where they were standing on the battlements. The others watched as Erin shouted at Toren. She was clearly telling him to push her. The skeleton took several steps back, and then ran at the sledge.

  “Wow. He pushed her hard.”

  Indeed, it almost looked as if the skeleton was trying to push Erin as hard as possible. She shot down the hill in the sledge, going even faster on the compacted snow.

  Erin screamed and laughed as she shot down one of the hills, and then screamed in an entirely different tone as she noticed the rock. From their position on the wall, Selys, Ryoka, and Klbkch saw Erin wipe out.

  “Wow. She flipped.”

  “Head over heels. First time I’ve seen that.”

  “She is not moving. Has she been seriously injured?”

  “No—I think she’s stunned. Look, she’s starting to wiggle.”

  The Human girl was making an involuntarily snow angel in the ground. Ryoka looked at Mrsha and saw excitement shining in her eyes. Yes, this was a ride to bring out the daredevil in any kid.

  The crowd below was watching Erin, but already Ryoka could see people peeling off and hurrying back into the city.

  “Looks like she’s started a trend.”

  Indeed, even the adults were coming back with sleds and things to slide on. Ryoka grinned. It was stupid. It was dangerous. But hell, she was going down there and trying it.

  “Hey Mrsha, want to go for a ride?”

  The Gnoll child stared at Ryoka. Klbkch stared at Ryoka. Selys looked down at Erin.

  “I call the front!”

  —-

  “OhAncestorshelpmeI’mgoingtodie—”

  Erin sat on a hill and watched as Selys zoomed past her, screaming at the top of her lungs. Klbkch stood next to her, watching as Drakes and Gnolls dived out of the way of the uncontrolled sledge.

  “I am afraid that vehicle is too dangerous. The other sledders must vacate the hill before it descends or a life threatening accident may occur.”

  “Yeah.”

  Erin nodded and winced as she felt at the bruises on her back and butt. She’d gladly given up her chance to ride the sledge after the second time she’d had a major wipe out. Now Selys and countless other Drakes and Gnolls were queuing up for a turn. Toren was tirelessly pulling the sledge up a hill, and he’d already accommodated Ryoka’s request to ride it down ten times.

  Ironically, only Mrsha had been banned from using the sledge. Instead, they’d given the small Gnoll a much smaller sled that Krshia had begun to enterprisingly sell to the citizens. Some people had their own sleds, but it was rare for them to have this much fun in the snow, Erin gathered.

  “I mean, it’s dangerous to be outside the walls. And besides, it’s a lot of work. But that skeleton of yours is really handy, Erin!”

  So said Selys after she returned slightly windblown but unharmed from her exciting ride. Erin grinned and offered her the jar of honey. Selys’ eyes bulged at the sight of the massive jar of sweetness.

  “Where did you get that, Erin?”

  “From a huge bee nest! Actually, Toren got it, but the bees lifted him into the air and dropped him! It was crazy! And we got attacked by Snow Golems! And we found these horns!”

  The Drake’s mouth fell open when Erin showed her one of the horns she’d taken from the deer. She’d had to remove a bit of…flesh, but now it was helping keep her warm as she sat in the snow. The horn radiated heat, which was extremely useful.

  “Are those Corusdeer horns? Where did you get all of them, Erin?”

  “I found a lot of dead bodies in the snow. They were just lying there, so I found them. They’re a deer’s horns?”

  Ryoka stomped up the hill, shivering, Mrsha right behind her. The Gnoll was happily rolling around in the snow and dragging the small sled she’d been riding, but she began sniffing at the air and made a beeline for the honey the instant she saw it.

  “What the hell is that, Erin?”

  Nothing would do but that Erin explain everything to Ryoka, Selys, and Klbkch as she let Mrsha lick honey from her paws. Selys shook her head in amazement after Erin was done.

  “You are crazy, you know that? You could have fallen into a Shield Spider pit, not to mention those bees can kill anything they come across! And the antlers—it was a windfall you found them, you know. Even Gold-rank adventurers don’t like taking on a herd of Corusdeer, and their horns are really useful! I can pay you four silver per each antler. The Adventurer’s Guild sells them to [Alchemists] and [Blacksmiths].”

  Ryoka frowned.

  “That doesn’t sound like a lot.”

  “Well, the Guild needs to take a cut, and after all, it’s not like we want people to just go around provoking Corusdeer.”

  Selys explained defensively as Mrsha tried to dip her entire paw into the jar of honey.
Erin gently grabbed Mrsha’s arm, and then she noticed something wriggling in the honey.

  “Why not just cut out the middleman? You can probably get twice that if you negotiate with them directly.”

  Selys glared at Ryoka, but Erin shook her head.

  “I want to try and use them.”

  She saw Mrsha’s eyes following the movement, but save for Klbkch and Mrsha, no one had noticed. Ryoka rolled her eyes, but shrugged. She bent and dipped her finger into the honey.

  “Good stuff, though. You can make a lot of treats with this.”

  She licked her finger as Erin opened her mouth, and then frowned.

  “What the—?”

  Slowly, Ryoka reached into the honey and grabbed at the wriggling thing. Selys covered her mouth and Mrsha backed away as Ryoka pulled out a huge, fat, wriggling bee larvae. The Asian girl stared at the larvae as it tried to climb up her hand. She stared at Erin, as the other girl gave her a sheepish grin.

  Ryoka’s face turned green. Klbkch stared at the larvae with interest, and he spoke at the same time as some Frost Faeries swooped down from overhead. They both asked the same question.

  “Are you going to eat that?”

  2.36

  That night Erin cooked up a storm. She had far more visitors than usual; Drakes and Gnolls came into her inn in large groups, mainly to eat something quick after a day of playing in the snow.

  Erin was only too happy to put her skills to the test. And it did seem like [Advanced Cooking] gave her an edge; she had many happy customers.

  Soon though, her inn was more quiet and there were less guests. That probably had to do with her evening crowd.

  Ryoka sat at one table with Klbkch, talking quietly and giving casual death-glares to anyone who walked too close. She was in deep conversation with the Antinium, and he seemed just as engaged. That was nice. Ryoka had made a friend!

  There were more Antinium in the inn too, though. Klbkch had brought them. They were all Workers, except for Bird. He was now their…guardian, or minder Erin supposed. But she was disappointed Pawn wasn’t there.