The Wandering Inn_Volume 1

by Pirateaba

  As Ryoka stumbled onwards through a forest with faeries shouting and flying in every direction, she heard and felt the earth rumble. The Runner turned and saw something huge moving to the left. The ground itself heaved upwards as faeries cried out in alarm and scattered.

  “What in the name of crap is that!?”

  Ryoka sprinted away as the snow erupted and something swiped at the faeries that had been shouting so loudly a second ago. They flew away as Ryoka saw the thing heave itself up even higher.

  Higher. And higher. It rose, a colossus, out of the ground. No—it wasn’t out of the ground. Ryoka realized to her horror that it had been the ground itself! It had been slumbering, until her noisy passage had woken it. But now it rose, and turned towards her. She saw it.

  A giant face. A wall of ice. Broken shards. Melted snow. Two massive eyes formed of rock. And then the mouth opened. The Frost Golem roared, it’s voice the sound of crashing snow and grinding stone.

  The faeries screamed back. A flurry of red lights flew up and dove at the Frost Golem’s face, striking it with ice and wind, castigating the massive creature for interrupting their fun.

  The ice was probably no harm at all to the Golem, but it dislike the attacks. It swiped at the faeries, and they flew away, jeering at it as they effortlessly dodged the large creature. But they had been distracted, and the Golem began to chase after them, roaring in a voice that shook the entire forest.

  “Quickly, Ryoka! While they are distracted!”

  A single red light flew down. Ryoka saw Ivolethe beckoning her onwards. Ryoka took one look at the Snow Golem and froze. It was chasing the Frost Faeries away, giving them a far larger target to harass. But that wasn’t what made her eyes go wide and her knees suddenly weak.

  “No way.”

  “What is it, Ryoka?”

  Ivolethe stared at Ryoka’s pale face. The girl swallowed hard.

  “I can’t believe it. I can’t. It’s not possible.”

  “What, what?”

  Ivolethe peered at the Snow Golem, but couldn’t see anything odd about it. She urged Ryoka onwards as the Golem thundered away from them, making the ground shake. Ryoka ran on, turning her head to watch the Snow Golem.

  It was impossible. And yet—Ryoka saw it so clearly as she broke out of the forest, following Ivolethe. The Snow Golem was a distant shape in the distance, already nearly obscured by the blizzard.

  It was just a Snow Golem, a natural phenomenon in this world. It didn’t look like a classic snowman at all; it was a mountain of ice rather than three spheres stuck together. And yet—

  It had a hat.

  The black mass on its head was too much like a top hat for Ryoka to call it anything else. Her brain knew it was probably some trees or boulders sticking out at odd angles. That, combined with the darkness made it look like a hat. That was all.

  But still, she saw it. The Snow Golem wore a hat on its head as it roared and chased the other faeries away. Ryoka stared after it, and then began to hum under her breath. She turned and called out to the hovering faerie glowing crimson.

  “Ivolethe? Let’s go.”

  The faerie led her onwards. Ryoka pumped her legs, put her force into her stride. She ran onwards, bringing gifts and relief for a village that needed it. But her head turned one last time as she ran. She spoke under her breath.

  “Thanks, Frosty.”

  A distant roar was her only response. Ryoka smiled, and kept running.

  —-

  A few hours after Mrsha had lit her first matchstick, she lit the one hundredth and twenty third and watched the flame slowly eat away the stick. She held it close to her face and felt the heat warm her paw. Then she looked up and around Octavia’s shop. It was getting quite noisy.

  “I’ll take five boxes!”

  “Six, here! I’ll pay with silver!”

  “A gold coin if you show me how to make them! Five!”

  People were quite agitated about the matchsticks Mrsha was having so much fun lighting. Mrsha understood and didn’t understand at the same time. To her matches were fun, enjoyable, and magical. To the people who’d followed her off the streets and into Octavia’s shop, they were something more.

  They were crowded around Octavia’s shop, Humans, Drakes, and Gnolls alike. Adults shouted for the [Alchemist]’s attention, demanded to know if this was her invention—if she would sell them the matches for the same price Mrsha had. Octavia was under siege at her counter. Mrsha saw her desperately waving one of her arms over her head with the other to get people’s attention, but it was no use.

  There were so many bodies in the shop that the door was stuck open, letting the cold snow blow into the building. Snowflakes whirled around Mrsha. One struck her match and put it out.

  Mrsha let the spent match drop to the ground and looked around. So many people. So many burnt matches. They were small things, but important. New. Bright.

  Then Mrsha sneezed. It was cold, even for her. She peered at the last burnt matchstick and decided she was going home.

  The Gnoll padded between the legs of the adults and opened the door back to Erin’s inn. She walked through, and carefully closed the door behind her.

  “Mrsha! Where have you been?”

  A voice made Mrsha spin guiltily. Lyonette strode over to her, all worry and loving concern.

  “I’ve been looking for you all day! You’re freezing! Did you go outside? I told you to tell me when you do that!”

  She ushered Mrsha out of the way of a Gnoll and Drake couple who were kissing at each other.

  “Into the kitchen. I have something to show you—oh, rats! Wait here. I’ve got to clean up a spill.”

  Mrsha obediently padded into the kitchen. There she relaxed as the snow on her fur began to melt. Something dug into her side as Mrsha stretched—she pulled out a small pouch, her pouch, filled to the brim.

  Mrsha sat and emptied the bulging money pouch onto the ground. Coins clinked as they fell onto the ground. People had given Mrsha a lot of coins for her matches. And Octavia kept giving her more matches, so things had just sort of piled up.

  A small mound of wet coins lay on the clean kitchen floor. Mrsha sniffed at the coins. They smelled like metal and sweat and dirt. She carefully picked them all up and stood up. Clumsily, she walked on two legs to the small pottery jar that Lyonette had put on the counter in the corner of the kitchen.

  It took Mrsha two tries to jump and pull herself up onto the counter. But then she was right next to the jar. Mrsha opened the lid and carefully dropped the coins into the jar. They made a lovely tinkling sound as they fell. Then she put the lid back in place.

  “Mrsha!”

  The Gnoll child jumped. Before she could move, two hands lifted her away from the jar. Lyonette scolded her as she lifted Mrsha up.

  “You know you can’t take money from the jar! Do you want some coins? I can give you a few bronze ones—but no taking without asking, alright?”

  Mrsha squirmed in Lyonette’s arms. The girl sighed.

  “Oh, you! Here. Sit there for one more second, and I’ll give you a treat, alright?”

  Lyonette went over to one of the ovens and pulled something out. Mrsha’s nose made her sit up and her stomach rumbled as she saw a huge pan of golden bread appear from out of the oven.

  “What do you think of this?”

  Lyonette gleefully turned and showd it to Mrsha. She picked up a stick of butter that had been chilled next to the window and began to rub it over the top of the fresh bread as she explained.

  “Erin has some—what did she call it? Baking powder, that’s right! It makes the bread puff up like this! She made some and it smells delicious, don’t you think?”

  Mrsha did think. She licked her lips and stared avidly at the freshly baked bread. The stick of cold butter that Lyonette had rubbed all over the tops had made the bread glisten. Mrsha had never seen bread so plump and full.

  She greedily reached for one roll, but Lyonette smacked Mrsha’s paw. The Gnol
l gave her an injured look, but Lyoentte was unmoved.

  “You can have some with everyone else. Come on, let’s bring this out. You can carry a pitcher of m—actually, why don’t you take the butter? Don’t trip?”

  Obediently, Mrsha took a saucer of warm, soft butter out into the kitchen. Her stomach was rumbling, and she could already almost taste the wonderful bread in her mouth. She smiled as she walked unsteadily out of the kitchen and put the butter on a table. She had already forgotten about Octavia and her latest invention.

  Mrsha liked matches, but she liked being here a lot better.

  —-

  “Bread’s ready! Oh—for crying out loud!”

  Erin turned from the freshly-cut pieces of steaming bread coated liberally with butter and nearly ran into a couple smooching hard under the mistletoe.

  “Oops.”

  Selys and a Gnoll that Erin didn’t know jumped apart from under the mistletoe. The Gnoll was blushing—he was a bit younger than Erin, and clearly embarrassed to have been caught out. Selys grinned and waved at the scowling innkeeper.

  “Hi, Erin. I uh, heard about the mistletoe. I thought I’d give it a whirl.”

  “You and everyone else! I’m sick of it!”

  “Aw, come on. It’s fun!”

  So said Revi, although her lips were a bit puffy from repeated mouth-to-mouth contact. Erin sighed. She beckoned Selys over and whispered to her.

  “Kissing is fine. Just don’t kiss Pisces, no matter if he offers, alright? He’s getting a fat head because he thinks he’s such a good kisser!”

  Selys’ eyebrows rose as she glanced over. Pisces was looking more smug than ever as he sat at a table with Ksmvr. Ceria and Yvlon were sitting at another table, ignoring him.

  “He’s good?”

  “So I’m told.”

  Erin made a face as Selys eyed Pisces. She looked around and found a few cherries on a tray.

  “It’s become a huge thing. People come in, kiss each other, and try to tie knots with cherries. I’m making money, but I feel bad doing it!”

  “What’s so special about cherries?”

  Erin explained about tying knots in the stems. Selys looked intrigued.

  “That sounds like fun! Give me one.”

  She chewed the cherry thoughtfully as Erin sighed and began to offer bread to her hungry hordes of customers.

  “You look tired. Why haven’t you gotten a few kisses? It’s fun!”

  “I don’t want to. Especially not with Pisces.”

  Erin frowned at Selys. The Drake shrugged. She took the cherry stem out of her mouth and handed it to Erin. The [Innkeeper] took it automatically.

  “Suit yourself. But—and I’ m sorry about this, Erin—I’ve got to see what the best kisser’s like. Hey, Pisces! Come over here, you!”

  The [Necromancer] looked up as Selys waved to him under the mistletoe. He smirked and came over. Erin shook her head.

  She turned away, and then remembered Selys had given her the cherry step. She glanced down at it. The girl blinked as she saw the cherry stem, tied into a double-knot.

  She looked up as she heard the laughter and a cheer. Selys sauntered away from Pisces to a round of applause from the room. Erin had apparently missed the kiss of the day, and it must have been some kiss, because Pisces was bright red.

  He turned away from Selys as she laughed and pulled at another Drake, giving him a quick kiss. Erin stared at Pisces, at Selys, and then laughed.

  “Hah! Take that!”

  Then someone kissed her. Erin felt the brush of whiskers and a wet smooch on her cheek. She yelped, and looked around. A white, furry face stared at her. Mrsha, perched on the table, held a bit of mistletoe with one claw. The girl stared at her. Mrsha licked her cheek. Erin laughed, and then reached out and kissed the Gnoll on her furry cheek.

  “Oh, you.”

  Five minutes later. Halrac was sitting by himself, sipping from his drink and not-quite-scowling around the room. For him, it was as good as a smile. He must have been drunk, or just off-guard, because he only reacted when he felt the wet kiss on his cheek. And then, simultaneously, another one on the other side.

  “What the—”

  Halrac turned, a hand on the dagger at his belt. He saw two large, brown eyes. Mrsha licked Harlac’s stubby cheek. The [Scout] stared at her, and then turned his head towards the other mysterious kisser.

  “Merry Christmas, you grumpy old man!”

  Revi grinned at Halrac as she held a sprig of mistletoe over his head. Halrac stared at her, and then at Mrsha, who was sniffing at his drink. He rubbed his cheek and grunted. Revi laughed and spun away. Mrsha leapt from the table and went to get more bread.

  Now that the kissing was mobile, everyone was fair game. The mistletoe changed hands quite a few times and left the inn in the pockets of some of the guests. Eventually Erin called for a ban on kissing—if only so that she could serve everyone hot bread.

  Halrac sat at the table in the corner by himself, chewing the hot bread and remembering eating something similar back when he was young—although he’d had warm milk back then. He stared around the busy room, at friends and people he hardly knew, having fun and celebrating. The [Scout]’s face didn’t change as Ulrien called him to come over and throw a hand of dice. He waved in denial and sat by himself. Alone.

  When he was quite sure no one was looking, the [Scout] smiled. Just for a moment.

  —-

  Relc and Klbkch sat in an alleyway, staring blankly at the brick wall ahead of them. Neither Drake nor Antinium said much.

  Relc was holding the bag of banged-up presents in his claws. It was still full. Klbkch’s beard was slipping off his face again. The glue had ripped free from his chitin.

  “What are we doing wrong here, Klb?”

  “I do not know, Relc.”

  “We’re trying to be like Santa, right? I mean, I’m dressing up like him and everything! Why are people kicking us out? They don’t want our presents!”

  “It is a quandary. I believe our efforts, while well-intentioned, have the opposite effect.”

  “Yeah. Wanna give up?”

  “That may be best. Let us retire to Erin’s inn.”

  Klbkch and Relc got up slowly and walked out of the alleyway. They walked down the street, ignoring the curious and horrified looks with their heads down. They only looked up when they heard the crying.

  Someone was upset. Someone was weeping. And there was the sound of breaking pottery—from one of the houses ahead of them. Relc nudged Klbkch.

  “They sound upset, don’t they, Klb?”

  The Antinium stared at the house’s door. It seemed…unhinged, as if it had been knocked off its frame.

  “Indeed they do. Should be investigate?”

  Relc nodded.

  “One last time. Then we’re done.”

  The two [Guardsmen] approached the door cautiously. Relc nodded to Klbkch as the Antinium took a position on the other side of the door. The Drake counted to three, and then kicked the door in. The crash made everyone inside go silent for a moment.

  “Does anyone want a pres—hey!”

  Relc’s eyes narrowed as he caught sight of the two Drakes wearing masks over their faces. One was standing guard over two frightened Gnolls children as the other ransacked the house.

  The burglars froze at the sight of Relc and Klbkch. Oddly dressed though they might be, the Senior Guardsmen were a known duo in Liscor.

  “Well, well, well. It looks like Santa’s found someone who’s been naughtly.”

  Relc grinned and cracked his knuckles as the two thieves backed up. One whipped a knife from his belt out and stabbed at Relc. The Drake caught the blade barehanded and threw it away.

  “Not sharp enough! Hi, nice to meet you1 I’m Relc—I mean, Santa Claus! Here’s my fist!”

  He clocked the first thief in the face and then kicked him between the legs. The Drake folded up and Relc dodged back as the other one swung at him. He turned, twisted—his tail sma
cked the second thief in the face with a crack.

  “You’ve been extra naughty! You’re on my list! You got that, you punks?”

  The fight carried out into the street as Relc threw one of the [Thieves] out of the window. The Drake landed with pieces of the broken shutters raining around him. He gasped for air and tried to get up—just in time to meet a black rock that smashed into the side of his face.

  “Have some coal!”

  Relc smacked the painted black rock into the offending [Thief]’s head. Klbkch tripped up the other as the Drake [Thief] tried to race out of the building. The Antinium calmly strode over to the fallen burglar and kicked him in the stomach.

  “Ho. Ho. Ho. Merry Christmas.”

  The commotion attracted a crowd. Drakes, Gnolls, and some Humans watched as Relc and Klbkch beat the two burglars down, Klbkch with a brick, Relc with his sack of presents.

  When they were done, the two [Guardsmen] straightened up, and heard the cheering. They saw the crowd applauding them, and realized everyone had a huge smile on their face. Relc turned to Klbkch. The Antinium was blinking down at one of the Gnoll children, who’d given him a hug.

  “It’s the holidays, Klbkch.”

  “Indeed it is.”

  “I think I feel the Chirstmas spirit! Look at all these smiling faces!”

  Relc grinned as the father of the Gnolls came over to thank him personally. He reached into his sack and rummaged around. After a moment, Relc handed a battered present with a bit of blood splattered on the side to one of the Gnoll children. The young Gnoll sniffed curiously at the package, and then tore apart the wrapping. He stared at the wooden buckler and sword and grinned in delight.

  Klbkch slapped Relc on the back. Relc staggered, and glared at him.

  “Ow.”

  “I am expressing my enthusiasm as you often do.”

  “Don’t. That’s my thing.”