The Wandering Inn_Volume 1

by Pirateaba

  “Yes. I kill birds.”

  “But you like birds.”

  “Yes.”

  Erin paused. She scratched her head and someone hurried over to the table.

  “Mister Bird? Another glass of raw eggs?”

  “Yes, please.”

  Bird turned and his mandibles raised as Lyonette carefully handed him a mug filled with raw eggs. Five cracked eggs. Bird had requested it specially. Lyonette smiled at Bird, and then hurried away before Bird began to drink.

  Erin watched, only slightly grossed out as Bird delicately let a glistening yolk drop into his mandibles. He clicked them together appreciatively.

  “I am very grateful. Do I offer more coins now? I have many.”

  “No, you can pay after. Just let me get this straight. You like birds, but you kill them.”

  Bird nodded.

  “Yes. Shooting birds is enjoyable.”

  Erin stared at him. It wasn’t that she disliked Bird, one of the Individual Antinium who lived in the Hive under Liscor. In fact, she really liked him. He, along with four other Antinium—Belgrade, Anand, Garry, and Pawn—had been the only survivors of a group of Antinium Workers who’d given their lives to protect her when a group of undead had attacked her inn.

  It was just that Bird was weird. Even for an Antinium he was weird. Pawn thought he was weird, Anand and Belgrade agreed, and Garry—well, Erin hadn’t gotten a chance to chat much with Garry, but the Antinium had definitely mentioned Bird’s weirdness when he’d helped Erin out at the Christmas party.

  She was just trying to figure him out. And it wasn’t working. Erin rubbed at her head.

  “Okay, okay. You like birds. But you kill them. Uh, Bird, I don’t know how to say this, but generally, you don’t kill things you like.”

  The Antinium looked confused. He lowered his mug.

  “But what is the point of killing something you don’t like?”

  Erin opened her mouth. She closed it. She put her hands in her hair.

  “You know what? How about we go back to what you do every day.”

  Bird nodded amicably.

  “I shoot birds.”

  “…That’s it? I mean, don’t you do anything else? Do you have duties in the Hive like Pawn, or Anand or Garry?”

  He paused, thinking.

  “I contribute resources to the Hive, mainly in the form of edible foodstuffs. On a daily average, I provide a value approximately 261% of the average Worker, thus justifying my existence. I am also considered to be a war asset of undetermined value, and have special qualities deemed important to the Hive at this moment due to my Individual nature and levels. Thus, I am permitted to act autonomously due to my unique class.”

  Erin stared at him. Sitting underneath the table, Mrsha raised her head and smacked it on the bottom of Erin’s chair. Lyonette’s head turned as she scrubbed at a dirty table. Bird looked around and shrugged.

  “That means I can go out and hunt birds. Revelantor Klbkch said so.”

  Erin glanced around her inn. It was empty, aside from Mrsha and Lyonette and Bird. Her regular guests were all out. As adventurers (and one [General]), they didn’t hang around the inn much. She took a deep breath.

  “Got it. You shoot birds. That’s cool.”

  “I hunt all day. Sometimes all night.”

  “Right. And do you do anything with the birds you shoot?”

  “I bring them to the Hive.”

  “Oh. That’s all?”

  Bird hesitated. He glanced around the room and lowered his voice. Erin leaned forwards at Bird’s insistence. He looked guilty as he confessed to Erin in a hushed tone.

  “Sometimes…I eat the birds I shoot instead of bringing them to the Hive.”

  Erin stared at him.

  “Okay.”

  “When I am hungry.”

  Bird clarified. He looked guilty. Erin nodded slowly.

  “So you cook them?”

  “No.”

  “Wait, you eat them raw?”

  “They are crunchy. And not crunchy in places.”

  “But raw—”

  Erin looked down as Mrsha poked her head out from under the table. The Gnoll didn’t seem to have a problem with Bird’s eating habits. The Antinium nodded.

  “Sometimes I throw them on a fire. The taste is different. So is the color.”

  Erin had a feeling Bird’s method of cooking was literally throwing dead birds onto the fire. She took a breath.

  “Okay, but you know you could cook them properly, right? You know, chop them up? Roast them? Bake them?”

  “If I bring them to the Hive they are processed into paste. It does not taste good.”

  “Processed—you mean that muck Pawn says all the Antinium eat?”

  Bird nodded. Erin tried to imagine how a dead bird would be turned into that and shuddered.

  “Okay, maybe you have the right idea. But if you cook things—”

  “I do not have any Skills.”

  “But you could learn—actually, wait. I have a better idea. Why don’t you bring your dead birds to me, and I’ll cook them for you? Free of charge!”

  Bird stared at Erin as if she were a genius.

  “You would cook birds for me?”

  She grinned at him.

  “Yeah! And I can make them very tasty, Bird. I can add a bit of lemon, some salt and pepper—make some gravy—you won’t ever go back to eating raw birds when you taste my cooking!”

  The Antinium didn’t salivate as far as Erin could tell, but Bird’s body language told her he was extremely interested in this offer. But then he drooped and his antennae sagged.

  “Ah. But I do not have many coins. Not enough to eat cooked birds all the time.”

  “That’s not a problem!”

  Erin hurried to reassure the downcast Bird. She thought and pointed to a bag which the Antinium had brought into the inn. It was tied tightly.

  “You hunt a lot of birds each day, right Bird? Even in the winter?”

  “I shoot many of them, yes.”

  “Well then…if you give me a few birds, I’ll cook as many as you want to eat! That way, I get something and you get something! How’s that for a deal?”

  Bird considered this.

  “This is a good deal. I will accept. Thank you, Miss Erin.”

  She beamed at him. Bird reached for his sack.

  “I have birds now. Can I give you some?”

  “Well of c—”

  Erin paused as Bird untied the knot holding his sack open. Underneath the table Mrsha yelped and across the room Lyonette gagged. The [Princess] put a hand over her mouth and Erin nearly fell out of her chair as Bird pulled a dead bird out of his sack.

  It was dead. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was how long it had been dead for. The smell was—Erin stared at the dead bird and saw things moving on the corpse.

  “Here is one bird. Can you cook it?”

  “Put it—put it—”

  Erin was trying not to throw up, back away, and avoid Bird’s outstretched hand at the same time. Mrsha fled as something dropped onto the table and wriggled.

  “Put it back!”

  Bird did so, looking confused. Erin made him tie up the sack—and then throw it out into the snow before she tried to explain the difference between a freshly-caught bird and a rotting one that had been sitting in the sack for two weeks.

  “So I must obtain fresh birds?”

  “Yes! Doesn’t your Hive say that to you too?”

  “Freshness does not matter. Those birds are acceptable for processing.”

  “They—you’re joking.”

  Bird stared at Erin. She stared back. She thought about the wriggling things and covered her mouth.

  “Okay. Wow. No wonder Klbkch eats here instead of at his Hive. Bird? I need fresh…birds. You can preserve them in ice, and bring them to me. But if they’re old, you have to bring them to the Hive, okay? And you can’t…can’t mix old birds with new ones, alright? I’ll explain all of
it to you, but you can’t bring really rotten birds into my inn, okay?”

  Bird nodded, looking serious and clearly not comprehending Erin’s line of thought at all.

  “This is an important issue?”

  “Yes!”

  —-

  Erin Solstice stood at the table and scrubbed hard with soapy water after Bird had gone. She avoided the wriggling orange maggot until a paw reached onto the table and grabbed it.

  “Mrsha!”

  She whirled and the white-furred Gnoll fled, the squirming maggot held triumphantly in one paw. Erin went to run after her, but Lyonette got there first. Erin heard the two having a one-sided argument as she turned back to cleaning the table.

  “No, Mrsha! You can’t have it. No, you can’t—don’t lick it! See how bad it tasted? Now, give it to me—no, no, you can’t put it with Apista. She’s in a shell and I don’t think she wants company. Just give it to—just throw it outside in the snow, far away, okay? There’s a good girl.”

  Erin turned her head and saw Mrsha scampering out of the inn. She also saw Lyonette carefully arranging a large bowl set in the middle of a table in the far corner of the inn. She was tending to Apista, her pet, making sure the bowl was filled with royal jelly and warm enough.

  Erin could appreciate Apista, although she hated wriggling things in general. Technically, the bee larvae that Lyonette had adopted as a pet was also a maggot, but at least this one was…bigger? Well, it was part of the inn now, and that meant it was as good as family. Even if it was butt ugly.

  But Apista had grown on Erin—literally. After the few days since she’d returned to her inn, the larvae had begun metamorphosing into a hardened shell, at first just an indistinct blob, but which was taking on the appearance of a bee day by day. It would hatch soon, Erin felt, and then…

  Well, Lyonette had the [Beast Tamer] class, and so she’d be able to control it. Or so Erin desperately hoped. But in truth, Erin had no idea what Apista the Ashfire Bee would be like when she finally emerged from her pupal state.

  Apista. Now there was a good name. In truth, Erin had been holding out for Beeyonce, or Pudge, but Lyonette had settled on Apista, and Erin had to admit it made sense. Not that anyone besides Ryoka would recognize the Latin name, though.

  Was it odd to own an inn and have a [Princess] working as your barmaid? Was it odd having a white Gnoll child—a furry hyena like species that lived in tribes—running around holding maggots? Was it a bit disconcerting to sit with an Antinium, one of the insect-like people who lived underground, and talk about hunting birds?

  Maybe, but Erin had gotten used to it long ago. Now she squeezed the rag she’d been using into her bucket and looked at Lyonette.

  “How’s Pudg—I mean, Apista doing, Lyonette?”

  “Good, Erin. I think she’s healthy. I mean, I can sort of sense it, thanks to my Skills!”

  Lyonette looked proud as she tilted the bowl to show Erin the hard carapace of the growing bee. Erin nodded.

  “You really like classes, don’t you?”

  “I’m a Level 3 [Beast Tamer] now! And a Level 4 [Carer]! I leveled up in both classes last night!”

  The girl’s chest puffed up with pride, and Erin smiled at her.

  “That’s really great. You’re leveling up in a different class every day, or so it seems.”

  “I just want to learn it all. I know one class is best, but—”

  Lyonette’s face fell. Erin studied her. Lyonette was a [Princess]. She’d told Erin as much herself. But she was a runaway princess, and a failure too, if what she hinted to Erin was right. Apparently, she was only Level 5 in the [Princess] class, despite having been one her entire life.

  “You know what, Lyonette? I think you’re a great [Barmaid]. You’ve only been working here for a few weeks and you’re already Level 9! Once you get to Level 10—well, I’d better give you a pay raise.”

  “You don’t have to—”

  “I should! I totally forgot to pay you this entire time. And you do so much work—it’s no wonder you’re leveling like crazy.”

  Erin grinned at Lyon as the girl’s face went red. It was remarkable how much she’d changed from the haughty, angry girl that Erin had first saved from freezing to death in the snow. Erin glanced at the windows as Lyonette busied herself with Apista’s bowl, still blushing furiously.

  “Speaking of which…I think we’re all set until dinner, Lyonette. We’ve got firewood water, groceries…why don’t you and Mrsha have a break? You can take her into the city!”

  Lyonette looked up with a grateful smile.

  “Really? You’re sure? I could stay and mind the inn if you need me to—”

  “We’re fine. No one’s coming back for a while, and if they do, they know I’m going to be out. Plus, I’ve got some soup sitting in the kitchen just in case. You two deserve a break!”

  Erin waved an airy hand as Mrsha came bounding back into the inn. The Gnoll’s white fur was covered in snow and Lyonette went to chase Mrsha as she tracked it onto the newly cleaned floor. Meanwhile, Erin went into the kitchen to get some coins for Lyonette to spend.

  Liscor. It was only ten minutes’ walk away from the inn, and the city was filled with Drakes, Gnolls, and a good deal of Humans. It was the place to be if you wanted to have fun, mainly because there wasn’t anywhere else to go to in the open, rolling landscape that surrounded the city.

  Both Erin and Lyonette had a history with the city, although Erin’s relationship was a great deal more positive than Lyon’s. In truth, the girl had been kicked out of the city for stealing and burning down a shop.

  It wasn’t that Lyonette’s exile had been lifted, but thanks to Zel Shivertail, one of Erin’s guests who also happened to be a hero among his people, the Drakes, in practice Lyonette could go into the city whenever she liked.

  “Here’s some money for the week.”

  Erin went over to Lyonette with a handful of coins. She counted them out into the girl’s hands, giving her mostly bronze and silver. But Erin’s fingers paused as she picked up a substantially larger, coin, which wasn’t silver but shone with brighter radiance in the light.

  “Oh—sorry. Wrong coin.”

  Lyonette blinked as Erin took the coin out and put it in her belt pouch.

  “What’s that? It’s too big to be a silver coin.”

  “It’s…a secret. I’m trying to figure it out myself.”

  Erin smiled at Lyonette as she handed the girl the other coins. Lyonette blinked at a gold coin glinting at her and opened her mouth to protest. Erin shushed her.

  “It’s for Mrsha! Buy her something nice and maybe get her another toy when you’re out shopping.”

  “But what are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to do business!”

  “If it’s shopping, I can buy it. I think Krshia’s okay with me—”

  “No, no. I have it! You have fun. That’s an order!”

  Erin shooed Lyonette out the door, Mrsha joyfully bounding about in the snow. Then she went over to the counter under her bar and began pulling out large bottles filled with various colors of liquid. Erin found a sack, grabbed the rest of the smaller denominations of coin for change, and walked out of her inn.

  “Time to get to my part-time job.”

  —-

  The city of Liscor was filled with people. Drakes and Gnolls, primarily, but Humans had come seeking wealth recently. They weren’t exactly welcomed with open arms by the city’s natives, Drakes, who resembled giant lizard-people and hated being called lizards, and Gnolls, who, unlike Mrsha, had brown fur, black fur, grey fur, reddish-orange fur—but never white fur.

  Erin walked down the streets, smiling at passersby, looking at the open architecture of the Drake’s buildings, and being tempted by food vendors frying grilled meat, steaming liberally spiced vegetable skewers, or making one of the city’s new favorite fast foods—hamburgers.

  Soon enough, Erin reached a large building along the main street. It had a decent fl
ow of foot traffic, Humans, Gnolls, and Drakes all entering the double doors. What set these individuals apart was that unlike the normal type of pedestrian, the people using this building were generally armed. They were adventurers, and wore everything from leather armor to polished plate to enchanted robes.

  The Adventurer’s Guild in Liscor wasn’t used to so much business, and so Erin knew that if she went inside to see her friend Selys, she’d probably have to wait for a long time as the [Receptionists] tried to keep up with all the adventurers coming in and out. But Erin wasn’t here for a social visit. Instead, she put down the heavy bag she’d filled with jars in the snow and rubbed at her shoulder. Then Erin took a deep breath and raised one of the jars into the air. She was holding a spoon in the other hand.

  “Samples! Get your free samples! Magical soup! Anyone want a sample?”

  Heads turned. People stared. Erin tried not to blush as she waved a jar of bright red-purple liquid at the crowd. She felt silly, but she was used to that feeling. The important thing was doing something, trying something.

  “You there! Mister Gnoll? Sorry, Miss Gnoll…want a sample? It’s free! Try my defense soup! Anyone want a taste? It’s magical! It works!”

  People passed by, but some began to stop. They approached, staring at the jar Erin was waving. She heard people asking questions and uncorked her jar and offered a spoonful around. People backed away, but they kept watching. Slowly, a crowd began to gather. And the commotion alerted the Adventurer’s Guild, because soon a trio of Drakes pushed out of the doors.

  One of them had bright yellow scales, another light green scales, and a third had dark green scales with a white pattern that reached from her tail up her back, although her clothes made it so only her tail was visible.

  The Drake with bright yellow scales was looking around.

  “What’s the commotion?”

  The one with dark green scales pointed at Erin, and all three [Receptionists] looked over. The one with yellow scales rolled her eyes and twitched her tail dismissively, but the one with light green scales smiled when she saw Erin’s face.

  “It’s that Human.”

  “The crazy one? I mean—the one with the hamburgers?”

  “Shush, Drassi! That’s my friend. I told you two about her.”