She Loves Him...Not

by Elana Johnson

  “Dial Abby,” he said to his Bluetooth speaker when he got home. His daughter might be in class as the fall semester of her junior year at Stanford had just started. Teagan wasn’t privy to her entire schedule, and he didn’t have any expectations as the line rang.

  He wouldn’t call her mother, because Caroline was sure to be working or sleeping. That was all the woman did, and Teagan had given up on communicating with her several years ago. The moment he’d bought his daughter a cell phone, in fact.

  “Hey, Dad,” Abby said, her voice bright and chipper.

  “Not in class?” he asked.

  “We just got out.” She said something to someone with her in person, and Teagan waited. “All right. I have a couple of minutes. And you should know you interrupted me talking to a very cute guy.”

  “Oh, wow,” Teagan chuckled. “This will just take a couple of minutes.” He hoped. “I’m thinking of…there’s this woman I like….”

  Abby let a few seconds of silence go by, and then she said, “Dad, I didn’t know you were a human,” in a teasing voice. She laughed the moment she finished speaking, and Teagan laughed with her.

  “Trust me,” he said. “I am.” He had plenty of flaws, just like anyone else. Probably more than other people, as he’d always put his work first. “Here’s the thing. She’s only thirty years old.”

  “I’m not sure I follow.”

  “You’re only twenty, and…I don’t know, is it weird for me to date a woman so close to your age?”

  “I don’t see why.” She laughed again. “Dad, you’ve always worried so much about stuff.”

  “Have I?”

  “Are you kidding?” Abby laughed again. “Remember when Mom got me that part on a movie set, and the filming was in the middle of the night? You worried about that, even though I was with Mom. And there was the time I was sixteen years old, and I wanted to go to a bonfire on the beach. From clear across the country, you worried that I’d get taken advantage of or burned or something.”

  “A father worries about his daughter,” Teagan said. “That’s called normal.”

  “Mom doesn’t worry the way you do,” she said.

  “Well, your mother is a special kind of bird,” Teagan said, and that was putting it kindly.

  “She’s an act-tress,” Abby said in a fake British accent, dissolving into giggles again. “Dad, that cute guy is coming back. Listen, if you like this woman, go out with her. I’m not worried about the age thing.”

  “Okay,” Teagan said, wishing he could be as carefree as his daughter. When he was her age, he was in a hospital with someone he’d just married, waiting to hear if their baby was a boy or a girl. “Good luck with the cute guy. What’s his name?”

  “Oh, I can’t tell you that,” Abby said. “It’ll jinx my chances with him. Gotta go!” She hung up, and Teagan couldn’t help shaking his head at his fun-loving daughter.

  He fed his fish and turned around, his whole day in front of him. Back when he and Gwen were dating, they’d grab lunch together or go sit by the lighthouse and talk, sharing sodas and crackers and their lives.

  “I miss her,” he admitted to his empty house. Now that he’d acknowledged his feelings for Gwen, he had to deal with them.

  And he simply didn’t know how—at least not in a way that wouldn’t hurt her again. That was the worst part of seeing her every day, being so close to her. Knowing he’d hurt her gnawed at him until he could barely look at her, and the very idea of her going out with another man made his fingers clench.

  So he just needed to find a way to look at her, apologize to her, and maybe get her to go out with him. That way, she wouldn’t be going out with anyone else.

  Oh, and he’d have to tell her about Abby if he truly wanted a second chance with her.

  Chapter Three

  Maybe I made a mistake.

  Teagan’s words would not leave Gwen’s mind, and dang if that didn’t annoy her. It kept her from napping too, and she really needed to catch up on her sleep, as she’d been out late for a couple of nights this week.

  The restaurant didn’t care about her dating habits, and she still had to be to work by five o’clock in the morning, whether she’d taken a moonlit stroll on the beach or gone to bed by eight. Not that she went to bed by eight…okay, fine, she did try to be to bed by eight most nights.

  But she’d been out with Daniel twice this week already, and she seriously needed a nap before tonight’s dinner service. Though September had arrived on the island of Carter’s Cove, The Heartwood Inn was still booked full, and that meant Redfin was too.

  In fact, reservations were highly recommended on the weekends for the restaurant.

  Maybe I made a mistake.

  Those blasted words had Gwen turning over again, and she finally just sat up and put her legs over the edge of the bed. She couldn’t believe Teagan was disrupting her sleep patterns. She’d thought she’d at least moved past that.

  His disdain of Daniel had been obvious, even before he opened his mouth. And oh, what a mouth. Gwen sighed, and she couldn’t decide if the sound was filled with longing or disgust. Probably both.

  No, Daniel didn’t have a job right now. Everyone fell on hard times, didn’t they? Of course they did. But there were dozens of opportunities for work on Carter’s Cove, as the tourism industry always needed more people. But Daniel hadn’t had a job in several months….

  Gwen pushed Teagan’s implications away. It wasn’t any of his business who she spent her time with, as he’d made it very clear he didn’t want it to be with him.

  She reached over and stroked Celeste’s dog, Midnight, the little black pup such a good friend for Gwen. She never had to sleep alone if she didn’t want to, and the dog would follow her around the house as if she didn’t want to be alone either.

  Not only that, but Celeste had inherited another dog from her boyfriend, Brad. The mutt was much bigger than Midnight, but Joey was very sweet, and it turned out he liked to lay around as much as he liked to chase a ball down the beach.

  Gwent positioned a visor on her head and reached for Midnight’s collar on her nightstand. “Let’s go outside, guys.”

  Midnight jumped around, obviously eager to put her collar on and go. Gwen giggled at her as she struggled with the squirmy small dog, finally clicking the collar into position. “Get a ball, Joey.”

  The bigger canine just cocked his head and looked at her, obviously still learning a few English words. “Ball,” Gwen repeated, knowing she’d end up finding the bright orange ball Joey liked so much.

  She filled a water bottle with ice and water, grabbed the dog bowl from its spot near the back door, and looked around for a ball. Spying one by the couch, she’d taken a couple of steps toward it when Joey seemed to catch on. He lunged for the ball and scooped it up into his mouth.

  “Good boy,” she said. “Now drop it. Drop it.”

  Joey held onto the ball, his doggy smile indicating that he was just so proud of himself for finding the ball.

  “Okay,” Gwen said. “But if you want me to throw it, you’ll have to drop it.” She grabbed the throwing stick and a bag of dried liver treats and headed for the back door. Midnight and Joey raced through it first, wagging their tails as they waited for her to exit too, and then get the door on the screened-in back porch too.

  She did, and they all tumbled down the steps to the little bit of grass in the small backyard. “Drop it,” Gwen said again, this time reaching into the bag for a dog treat. That got Joey to obey, and she picked up the ball with the throwing stick. She launched it out into the sand, and Joey and Midnight took off after it.

  Sometimes Midnight would manage to get the ball before Joey—she was surprisingly fast for her small size—but she couldn’t bring it back very well. So it was almost always Joey who brought the ball back to Gwen, dropped it, and sat waiting for his reward. Midnight got a treat too, so she always came right back to Gwen’s feet on the edge of the grass.

  Then Gwen would pick
up the ball again, wipe the excess sand on the grass, and throw it again.

  The September sun was as hot as the August sun, and Gwen only stayed out for twenty minutes, throwing the ball and enjoying the dogs. They slurped the ice water she brought out, and when she said, “Let’s go in,” they trotted ahead of her with sandy dog beards she’d wipe on the porch before letting them into the house.

  As she was bent over wiping the sand off of Midnight’s face, her phone chimed in her back pocket. The message better not be about some problem at the restaurant, or Gwen didn’t know what she’d do.

  Before she pulled her phone out and looked at it, she pressed her eyes closed. She needed a break from the restaurant, the catering, the special events, the beachside food service, the room service, all of it. Problem was, she didn’t know how to take one.

  When she looked at her phone, the message was from Teagan.

  So definitely a problem.

  But she couldn’t stop herself from reading it. I’m sorry about what I said earlier about your boyfriend. It really isn’t my business.

  Gwen felt like there should be a but after the message, with another one coming any moment now. But her phone stayed silent. “What does he expect me to say to that?” she wondered. She could pretend she hadn’t gotten it. For all he knew, she’d blocked his number when he’d cut her out of his life. Well, at least his personal life.

  She wanted to know what he meant by the mistake comment, so she quickly tapped out a response to him. He could say what he wanted to her. Text her when he knew she napped during the day sometimes. Glare at her when she tried to help him in the kitchen.

  She could ask him what he meant by something he’d said.

  What did you mean by you might have made a mistake?

  “Come on, guys,” she said, realizing both dogs were crowding the door, trying to get it open while she texted. She opened the back door, and they all went inside where the blessed air conditioner worked really well.

  Her phone spit out several notifications in a row, and Gwen hurried to put the water bottle and dog bowl in the sink so she could read her messages more easily.

  I meant I miss you.

  I meant Daniel is nowhere good enough for you.

  I meant I know I’m not either.

  And I meant maybe I’d like to try again with you.

  The breath left Gwen’s body, and she looked up and out the window above the sink. Her heart beat in her chest in an irregular way, bouncing around as she tried to make sense of Teagan’s texts.

  Her phone buzzed, and she looked down.

  I’m stupid for saying all this in a text.

  Maybe we could go grab something to eat? Neither of us is asleep, obviously.

  Gwen wanted to say yes. Badly. She also needed to pull back and be cool. Not rush into a heated romance with the man for a second time. But everything about Teagan made her want to stomp on the accelerator, from his beautiful eyes, to his devilish smile, to his olive skin.

  And his mad skills in the kitchen. And his confidence. And he could be fun and flirty and amazing when he let his guard down. The Teagan in the kitchen had attracted her to him. But she’d fallen for the man he was outside the kitchen.

  “Not again,” she told herself. “At least not so fast.” She spun around and found the dogs flopped on the floor by the air vent, panting. “I’m going out, guys,” she said. “Don’t tell Celeste.”

  All right, she tapped into her text messages as she hurried down the hall. She hadn’t showered yet today, and she didn’t want to go out with Teagan still smelling like hollandaise sauce. I need forty-five minutes.

  I’ll pick you up then, he said, and Gwen stepped into the shower, unable to stop the giddiness prancing through her.

  An hour later, Gwen came out of her bedroom and walked her sandaled feet down the hall. Teagan had been sitting on her couch with the dogs for fifteen minutes, but she didn’t care. He could wait for her. She’d been ready on time, but it had taken the past fifteen minutes to psyche herself up enough to leave her bedroom.

  “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she said, and he rose from the couch.

  Several feet separated them, and Gwen felt like his eyes possessed a traction ray. She couldn’t move, and she couldn’t look away.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, clearing his throat. The sound broke the traction ray’s power over her, and she shuffled her feet and looked away. “I know I owe you an explanation, and I want to give it. I do. I just….”

  Gwen wanted to hear him talk in that smooth, whole voice he had. The tonalities of it could reach right into her heart and pluck all the right strings.

  “Where do you want to eat?” Gwen asked at the same time Teagan said, “I have a daughter.”

  Gwen’s gaze flew back to Teagan’s, pure surprise rendering her mute. Her eyebrows went up as if they had a mind all their own, and she didn’t remember telling her voice to say, “A daughter?” but she definitely did.

  Teagan’s eyes stormed, and his jaw clenched, and Gwen was so darn happy that he was there, standing in front of her and talking.

  Well, at least he had been talking. Now he just looked like he wanted to punch something.

  Chapter Four

  Teagan needed to get his emotions under wraps before he could say anything else.

  “I didn’t realize you’d been married,” Gwen said, and her voice was soft and gentle, a clear invitation for him to keep talking.

  “Once,” he said, his muscles releasing the slightest bit. “A long time ago. A very long time ago.” He wanted to sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose. He did neither but watched Gwen devour him with those clear, deep blue eyes.

  “My daughter is twenty years old,” he said. “She lives in California near her mother. I was…I got all worked up over your age. And her age.” He did sigh then, collapsing back onto the couch. This wasn’t how he’d envisioned telling Gwen about Abby. He’d planned to take her to Last Course, a semi-fancy dessert restaurant on the island that only served the last course of a meal. He knew she loved that place, and if he could get her eating a brownie bomb, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to tell her about his past.

  Gwen sat beside him on the couch, perfectly silent. She reached over and brushed his longish hair back out of his eyes, and then laced her hand through his. Sparks buzzed through his skin, his bones, up his arm, infecting his brain. Her touch felt so, so good.

  He stared at her face, but she dropped her gaze to their intertwined fingers. “You get too far inside your head sometimes,” she finally said.

  “That’s what Abby said. She’s my daughter.” Now that the secret was out, Teagan wasn’t sure why he’d clung so hard to it. “Does that…I mean, I’m sure it does. But does she change things for you?”

  “What things?” Gwen looked up, and their eyes met.

  “Things between us.”

  Gwen swallowed, her eyes rounding slightly as a hint of fear entered them. “I want things to change between us, Teagan. What’s been going on isn’t….”

  “Isn’t what?” he prompted.

  “It isn’t what I want,” she said. “I know this isn’t a secret to you.”

  “What isn’t?”

  She rolled her eyes then. “You aren’t this stupid.” Gwen got up and walked away, putting furniture and a partial wall between them as she moved into the kitchen and turned on the sink. She filled a glass with water, her back to him, and drank.

  A clunk sounded in her house as she set the glass in the sink, and she didn’t face him as she said, “I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met, Teagan. They didn’t go away after you broke up with me.”

  Teagan stood, feeling foolish and out of his league when it came to Gwen. She had this uncanny ability to say what she felt and thought in such a clear, concise way. He always felt like he was floundering in the dark when it came to how he felt. And articulating it? Running a busy kitchen was easier.

  He ground his voice through his throat again.
“Mine didn’t go away either,” he said, and that got Gwen to turn around.

  “I want pizza for lunch,” she said. “And then a lot of dessert.”

  Teagan grinned at her. “Pizza and then we’ll go by Last Course.” He cocked his elbow for her, and she strode across the space between them and slipped her arm through his.

  “I’m ordering a ton of chocolate,” she said. “So be ready.”

  Teagan chuckled, ducked his head, and thanked the stars above for his good luck—and Gwen’s willingness to try again.

  Now he just had to make sure he didn’t mess up for a second time.

  Teagan did not suggest they share at Pie Squared, though they certainly didn’t need two pizzas between them. But he wanted the Low Country barbecue chicken pizza, which came with braised collard greens, fresh tomatoes, and slivered red onions, and he knew she wouldn’t eat that.

  So he let her step up to the counter and order a pepperoni pizza with olives on thin crust—literally everything he disliked—and then he ordered what he wanted. The short drive over from her house had been mostly him apologizing for the radio not working and asking Gwen how her mom and dad were doing now that they were fully retired.

  “Great,” she’d said. “Dad fishes a lot, and Mom’s busy making sure my grandmother doesn’t break another hip.” She’d smiled while she said it, but Teagan felt like there was still a wide chasm between them, and he didn’t know how to build a bridge across it.

  “Drinks?” the waitress asked, and Teagan ordered Coke while he waited for Gwen to ask for a flavored lemonade.

  When she said, “I’ll have Coke too,” he gaped at her.

  The waitress walked away before he said, “Coke? I didn’t think you liked cola.”

  “People change,” she said, her voice definitely holding some cool notes. “Tell me about your wife.”

  “Ex-wife,” he said quickly. “You know her. I mean, you don’t know her, but I’m sure you’ve heard of her.” He hated telling people he’d been married to Caroline Faye. Maybe that was why he never did.