She Loves Him...Not

by Elana Johnson

  Teagan laughed, squeezed her fingers, and said, “I’m so glad you invited me.”

  “Me too,” Gwen said while giggling. “Me too.” She leaned over and kissed him, and Teagan kept it chaste and quick, so he wouldn’t get yelled at by a mother there with her kids.

  “You’re wearing that?” Gwen’s voice made Teagan look down at his clothes. The passage between the two rooms was narrow, comprising of a few feet and through two doorways.

  “Yes.” He’d packed a pair of black slacks and this polo precisely for dinner with his family. “What’s wrong with it?”

  “You told me something nice.” She gestured to her dress, which was very nice. Very nice indeed, what with the dark blue fabric hugging her body and swelling in all the right places.

  “That is nice,” he said, not quite getting why she was upset.

  “It’s too nice.” She turned back to her bedroom, and Teagan followed her into it. “I didn’t pack anything else.” She started rifling through her suitcase, which she’d set on the luggage rack. Teagan saw at least three more bikini tops get shuffled around before he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

  She straightened and stilled in his embrace. “It’s fine,” he said softly, touching his lips to the back of her neck. It was totally her fault for enticing him this way by pulling all of her hair into that sexy up-do.

  “Teagan,” she said playfully.

  “What?” He pressed another kiss along her shoulder, where a very thin strap kept her dress up.

  “We’ll be late.”

  “No, we won’t,” he said. “We don’t have to leave for ten minutes.”

  She leaned back into his touch, and Teagan liked the silky smooth quality of her skin, the way she swayed with him as if they were slow dancing, and the powdery, rosy scent of her hair.

  “And you don’t need to change,” he said. “Do you think I’m not dressed up enough?”

  “I’ll admit I was expecting a tie,” she said, clutching his fingers with hers and turning toward him. “Did you bring one?”

  Teagan didn’t want to admit it, but he had. “You think I should wear it?”

  “From what you’ve said about your mother, I’d definitely wear it.”

  “Fine,” Teagan said, some bite to his tone that wasn’t directed toward Gwen. “I need to change then.” He went back through the doorway to his room, pulling his polo over his head. He had brought a baby blue dress shirt and a tie with lots of stripes on it. His mother loved stripes, and he sort of hated that he’d brought it just to make her happy.

  But something down deep inside him wanted his mother to be happy, and Gwen must have picked up on that. He buttoned his shirt as Gwen came into the room, and she stepped up to him and began tying his tie for him.

  The action was one of the sexiest moments of Teagan’s life, and he stood there with this gorgeous woman only inches in front of him, her delicate fingers brushing his skin as she finished buttoning his top button and then began knotting his necktie. He could only watch her, his heart beating too fast and his fingers clenching into fists.

  “There,” she said, patting his chest right over the tie. She looked up at him, and so much was said in those few seconds. She must’ve been able to see something in his eyes, because a hint of a blush filled her cheeks and desire brimmed in her eyes.

  She backed up a step, and then another, ducking her head and reaching up to tuck her hair. But it was already all pinned up, and she let her hand drop to her side.

  “We better go,” he whispered. “Before I ruin your lipstick.”

  She nodded and didn’t wait for him to open the door to the hallway. He followed her, catching her hand in his as they walked to the elevator.

  The restaurant Tilly had chosen was a short five-minute walk from their hotel, and Teagan caught sight of his sister through the window as they walked toward the front door.

  “Are you ready for this?” he asked, pausing with his hand on the door.

  Gwen smiled up at him. “This is going to be great, Teagan. You’ll see.”

  “I guess we will see.” He opened the door, the lilting music and chattery din of the restaurant spilling onto the sidewalk. His mother rose from the bench just inside the door, and the game was on.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Gwen stepped into a completely new skin as she walked through the door. She’d seen Olympia do it several times, and she believed she could charm his mother and his sister too.

  “You must be Beverly.” She took both of Teagan’s mother’s hands in her own and gave her kiss on each cheek. “I’m Gwen Heartwood.”

  “Oh,” she said, letting Gwen lead the way. She glanced at Teagan, who smiled at his mother. Gwen could see the strain around his eyes, but he moved into his mother and gave her a hug as a pair of blonde girls came around the corner.

  “Uncle Teagan,” one of them said, and Gwen stayed with his mother as he moved over to his nieces.

  “Are you Jill or Jenny?” he teased. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll just call you JJ.” He hugged them both at the same time, laughter coming from his throat as he lifted them off the ground. They squealed and held onto his shoulders until he set them down.

  “Teagan,” his sister said as she arrived, and she hugged him too, a genuine smile on her face from what Gwen could tell.

  And then everyone faced her. Teagan moved back to her side, easily putting his arm around her. “This is Gwen Heartwood,” he said. “Gwen, my sister Tilly and her husband John. Their little girls Jill and Jenny. My mother, Beverly.”

  “Is she your girlfriend, Uncle Teagan?” one of the twins asked.

  “She sure is.” Teagan grinned at the girl, and Gwen shook hands with Tilly and John.

  “We have a table back here,” Tilly said, half-turning away from the group. She hadn’t received Gwen in a particularly warm manner, but they were standing in the lobby of a restaurant.

  “Front and center,” Teagan muttered as they approached the table. “And why was my mother sitting in the lobby if we had a table already?”

  Gwen didn’t have time to answer, and she waited for Teagan to pull her chair out for her before she sat. They were indeed in the middle of the table, with Tilly and John across from them. The girls were separated on either side of their parents, and Teagan’s mother sat next to him.

  No one said a word. Gwen glanced down at the menu, and then looked at Teagan’s sister. “So, what’s good here?”

  John started detailing a steak while Tilly helped the daughter next to her with the menu.

  “And I like the lobster macaroni and cheese,” Tilly said with a smile once her husband stopped talking.

  “That sounds delicious,” Gwen said.

  “So you’re a chef too,” his mother said, and Gwen nodded.

  “Yes,” Teagan said. “I work at Gwen’s inn.”

  “She owns the inn?”

  “No,” Gwen said quickly. “I don’t own the inn. I mean, I have shares in the company.”

  “You do?” Teagan asked, and Gwen glanced at him.

  “Yes,” she said. “Sixteen percent.” She plucked her napkin from the table and laid it in her lap. “Olympia runs the company, and she has the largest share. But it’s still not even half, and she can’t really make unilateral decisions without the rest of us.”

  “Us?” Tilly asked.

  “Oh, my sisters,” Gwen said quickly. “There are five of us. My oldest sister runs the inn, for the most part. I’m just over dining services.”

  “Which is a huge job,” Teagan said. “Honestly, huge.”

  “I know you work a lot, dear,” his mother said as the waiter arrived. He asked for drinks, and Gwen really wanted something to help numb her mind. But she wasn’t a drinker, and she wasn’t going to make a fool of herself tonight.

  She ordered a respectable soda and turned to the girl on her side of the table. “What are you going to get?”

  The girl cowered into her mother, her blue eyes round. “Chicken
fingers.”

  Gwen gave her a small smile and turned toward Teagan, whose hand had just landed on her knee. She caught his mother saying, “…why you can’t come visit more often.”

  “I have a job, Mother,” he said.

  “It’s my fault,” Gwen said. “I schedule Teagan seven nights a week at the inn, especially during our busy season. He really is the best chef on the island of Carter’s Cove.”

  “Perhaps you went there because you couldn’t get a job here,” Beverly said, and even Gwen gasped. “There are always jobs here.”

  “I didn’t apply for any jobs here,” Teagan said.

  “He could get them,” Gwen said.

  “He could, Mom,” Tilly said. “Let this go.”

  “Why should I let it go?” She glared at Tilly. “My only son chose to live somewhere else when he could easily live here. There must be a reason.”

  Tilly glanced at Gwen, and entire lifetimes of conversations were had in that moment. “We’re very happy to have him at The Heartwood Inn,” Gwen said. “Have you ever been to Carter’s Cove?”

  “Why would I need to go to Carter’s Cove?” Beverly demanded. “I live on an island.”

  “Maybe to visit Teagan,” Gwen said, immediately regretting it. “Come see what he does. Check out our beaches.” Gwen shrugged and picked up the menu. “Ooh, look, Teagan, they have fried calamari. Let’s get that and see if it’s as good as we do at the inn.”

  “Deal,” Teagan said. “I’m also going to get the bruschetta. I think they do something different with their spices here I want you to try.”

  “And we’ll get the garlic toast,” Tilly said. “Sound good, John?”

  “Amazing,” he said, and the waiter arrived with their drinks, causing further distance from his mother’s awkward conversation. They ordered appetizers, and Gwen asked, “John, what do you do for a living? I don’t think Teagan has said.”

  “I’m the lead project manager for an insurance company.”

  Gwen nodded like she had any idea what that meant. Tilly actually started laughing. “No one knows what that means,” she said.

  “I do,” Teagan said. “I mean, I’m the lead project manager for a huge hotel chain on an island.” He chuckled as John did. “What? It’s true.”

  “I deal with marketing for the company,” John said. “We’re always looking for something better than a gecko, you know?”

  Gwen laughed, glad Tilly and John seemed normal, at least. Beverly hadn’t said another word, and a quick glance at her showed her sulking on the other side of Teagan. Great. Gwen searched for a way to bring her back into the conversation. What would Olympia do? Her mother?

  “Beverly,” she said. “What do you spend your time doing?”

  “I went to the laundromat today,” she said.

  Gwen looked at Teagan, who simply lifted one shoulder in a very slight shrug.

  “And I like reading,” Beverly said. “Do you read, Gwen?”

  “Oh, no, ma’am,” Gwen said with a chuckle. “I don’t have much time for leisure reading.”

  “Reading keeps your brain active,” Beverly said.

  “I’m sure it does,” Gwent said. “What do you like to read?”

  “A little of this,” she said at the same time Tilly said, “She likes romance novels.”

  “Oh, Tilly.” Beverly smiled though, and she didn’t argue.

  “I like romance novels too,” Gwen said. “Everything works out in the end, you know?”

  “Oh, I read three per week,” Tilly said. “Because you’re right. I like how everyone gets their kiss in the end.” She smiled around at everyone and opened her mouth to ask Gwen another question.

  Gwen didn’t hear her because Beverly had also spoken.

  “Mom,” Teagan said, but Gwen hadn’t caught what his mother had said.

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “I asked if you two wanted children,” Beverly said, and Gwen distinctly saw Tilly shake her head.

  “Well, yeah,” Gwen said at the same time Teagan said, “No.”

  Surprise filled her with a single breath. “No?”

  “Don’t engage,” Tilly said. “Teagan, tell us how you and Gwen met.”

  Teagan held Gwen’s gaze for another moment. Then another. Then he looked at his sister and said, “She owns the inn where I work,” his voice filled with nothing but ice.

  By the time Gwen finished dinner and had given her good-byes to Teagan’s family, she felt wrung out and upside down. She and Teagan gave one final wave to Tilly and her family, and then Gwen wished they’d driven though their hotel was only a couple of blocks away. He’d shut down pretty heavily after his mother had asked about children, and Gwen couldn’t get the word no out of her head. With Tilly’s help, she’d managed to keep the conversation going, and she was utterly exhausted.

  She pressed her fingertips together and closed her eyes briefly. Teagan walked beside her, utterly silent.

  “You don’t want kids,” Gwen said to break the ice. She wasn’t asking.

  “No,” he said without looking at her. He seemed to be walking really fast, and Gwen couldn’t quite keep up in her heels. She didn’t wear shoes like this every day, and this stroll back to the hotel wasn’t anything like the slow, sensual one they’d taken to get here.

  She wanted to lace her arm through his and discuss what dinner had been like, how great his sister was, and that yes, his mother was a little overbearing, but she was still a wonderful lady.

  “I have a daughter,” he finally said when the neon lights of their hotel came into view. “And I’m a terrible father to her, and I don’t need to repeat that again.”

  “It wouldn’t be the same at all,” Gwen said, though he hadn’t said anything about Abby since telling her about his daughter when they’d first gotten back together.

  “Why wouldn’t it?” Teagan glared at her out of the corner of his eye.

  “We would be together,” Gwen said. “We’d be building our family together.”

  Teagan shook his head. “That’s what I thought with Caroline, and it didn’t work out.”

  “Are you saying you think we wouldn’t work out?” Gwen asked.

  “I’m saying I don’t want children,” Teagan said. “I don’t know how to be a father, and I’m not interested in…going through all of that again.”

  “All of what?” Gwen asked. “You’ve never really said what happened.”

  “The guilt,” he said. “The regret. The second-guessing.” He stopped suddenly and faced her, his eyes storming and angry. “I did what I thought was right, and that was to walk away. Caroline didn’t need me, and I didn’t know she was pregnant at the time. I was nineteen years old.”

  Agony mixed with fury in his voice, and Gwen had no idea what to say to get him to calm down, to soothe him somehow. She also had no idea what he’d gone through—what he was still going through—when it came his daughter.

  “You’re not nineteen years old now,” she said, the words coming into her mind. “You’re not the same person you were then. Why do you think anything would be the same?”

  He visibly softened, but only a little bit. “Can we talk about this in the morning? I don’t want to say something I’ll regret later.”

  “Of course.” Gwen put her arm through his. “But can we walk slower? These heels are killing me.”

  Teagan did slow down then, but he still didn’t say anything. He unlocked his room and led her inside, and he kissed her quickly in their shared doorway. He was loosening his tie when she went into her bedroom, and she heard his side of the door close only a couple of seconds after hers did.

  “Well,” she whispered to herself as she shimmied out of her slinky dress. “You survived the dinner with his family.” Now she just had to weather the aftermath of it.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Teagan tossed in bed for a solid hour before he got up. He left his room quietly, because it was after hours, and he didn’t want anyone to call down to th
e front desk and complain about a guest on the fifteenth floor. Not when Gwen had gotten the rooms at the last minute from a friend.

  He cringed at the dinging of the elevator, but no one rushed out of their rooms to shush him. He made it to the lobby and out the beach exit, which was clearly marked. He double-checked to make sure he had his keycard to get back in, and his phone. Then he just walked.

  His mind churned at a blistering pace, but he couldn’t pull out any of the individual thoughts. The sky spread above him, with lots of lights bordering the walkway to his left and none out on the ocean to his right. He’d left without shoes, so he went down to the hard-packed sand to walk, his feet eating up the yards easily.

  When he realized he couldn’t see any lights on his left, he paused. “What am I supposed to do?” He couldn’t help his feelings of failure when it came to his experiences in fatherhood.

  But he’d made those decisions for himself, based on his situation. Things probably would be different with Gwen—with any woman where he had a mature, loving relationship.

  And to do that, he had to be honest. Open. And communicate. He hadn’t done any of those things with Caroline, or Abby to a large extent. He’d been getting better and better, and he thought he had a decent relationship with his daughter now.

  But he hadn’t spoken to Caroline in several years. He couldn’t imagine not talking to Gwen for even a day, though he had had a few months there where his own communication with her was work-related. But he still spoke to her.

  Teagan held very still and let his feelings swell and move through him. He didn’t want to shut Gwen out, and he didn’t want to lose her over this issue.

  “Gotta go talk to her.” He’d be shocked if she’d been able to fall asleep, and he pulled out his phone. Hey, are you still awake?

  I went for a walk, but when I get back, can we talk?

  Her response came only a few seconds later. Sure, just knock on my door.

  Satisfied, and now suddenly anxious to get their talk over so he could sleep, he strode back toward the hotel down the beach. He’d gone farther than he’d thought, and thirty minutes had passed before he arrived back in his room, slightly out of breath and his calves aching from walking without shoes.