Ghosts of Christmas (Steamy Bwwm Holiday Romance)

by Kenya Wright

  “I’m showing you the possibilities in front of you.”

  “What’s wrong with sex between friends?”

  “At this point, we’re more than friends.” He moved his hand to the back of my head and fisted my hair.

  My breathing picked up. My heart hammered in my chest. I didn’t move out of his grip, loving how he could manhandle me in the most tender way. “Fuck me, Saint.”

  “I don’t like that you fuck other people.” He yanked my head back, exposing my throat to him. “That ends after this trip.”

  “Oh really?”

  “This Christmas changes everything.” He pressed his nose to my collar bone and inhaled. “I have faith. Do you?”

  My breath hitched as he touched his tongue to my throat and drew a long, wet line to my chin. I trembled against him. My hormones shifted into overdrive. Again, his warm tongue licked the hollow of my neck. He tasted me and I melted right there, craving for him to sample even more of my body. Need poured over me.

  Saint eased my head forward. Our gazes met.

  Saint let go of my hair and wrapped his arms around my waist, squeezing me to him. Leaning forward, he had his mouth so close to mine. “Your kisses are my favorite part of Christmas. My favorite part of you.”

  “Why?” I whispered.

  “Because they’re the first door to your body. The first way I can open you up and look inside. Sadly, it’s almost the only way you will open to me.”

  “I try.”

  “Try some more.”

  Lifting my head, I parted my mouth. And his tongue was right there, slipping between my lips. He deepened the kiss and I dissolved into him. Saint was a magical master with kisses. He mesmerized my senses with that tongue. My head spun with him.

  I wrapped my arms around his thick waist, needing to hold onto something. I was close to losing my balance. His hold on me tightened. His hard-muscular body pressed against my body, backing me into the wall. My breasts smoothed against his chest, yearning for his hands to touch them.

  Why can’t I give all of me to him? He’s right. He has my heart.

  The hardest thing was admitting it out loud. When I was away from Saint, I did my best to not think of him but still, I did. There were so many times that I fantasized about his thick muscles, his soft lips, and the way his hands seemed to swallow me up.

  I drew a slow breath as he broke the kiss. The feel of his mouth remained burned on my lips. Heat buzzed under my skin.

  He whispered against my mouth. “Ivy.”

  My lips parted to speak, to explain how I struggled with my feelings for him. The words wouldn’t come out. My courage evaporated.

  He watched me, studying my eyes as if he knew what was going on in my head. Perhaps he did.

  Heat bloomed between my thighs. He returned to gripping my hair. Angling my head to the side, he lowered to my mouth and deepened the kiss.

  Fuck, Saint.

  I slipped my hands down to his hips and gripped them.

  With his free hand, he reached down to my ass and squeezed it.

  I moved from the kiss. “Fuck me. Please, Saint.”

  “And what about our stipulations?” He groaned and slowly rocked his hard length into my core.

  Damn it.

  Every cell screamed for more, for him to throw me down, take out his cock, and slam it hard into me.

  A throaty groan vibrated from his chest. He left my hold and glared at me.

  Breathless, I whispered, “What?”

  “Be mine.”

  “Saint—” Before I could finish, he picked me up, carried me forward, and hurled me onto the bed. I landed on my back in a whomp that knocked the breath out of my lungs. My head bounced against the soft mattress. I stirred as he climbed onto the bed and hovered over me.

  “There are stipulations, Ivy.” With his big hand, he grabbed my wrists, pulled them above my head, and pressed them against the headboard while he straddled me.

  Desire shuddered through my darkened soul like lightning, leaving trails of sensual light down my spine. I longed for more of his warmth and weight. I needed his cock deep inside of me.

  “You make me so fucking crazy, Ivy.”

  “I don’t.”

  “You’re fucking trouble.”

  “I stay to myself and mind my business.”

  Hurt covered his next words. “That’s the fucking problem.”

  His pain twisted my heart.

  I turned away.

  He whispered, “Look at me.”

  I did. My bottom lip quivered.

  His eyes held mine, daring me to look away again. “Say it.”

  My words went soft. “I love you.”

  “Did you miss me?”

  Shivering with need, I lifted my chin. My heart knocked against my chest. “I told you I did.”

  “But I like to hear it as much as possible.” He lowered and brushed his lips against my mouth.

  I arched up to taste more of him.

  He moved out of my reach. “Tell me you’ll make this work. Finally.”

  I shivered again. My heart ached. My eyes watered.

  “Don’t be scared.”

  A tear left my eye. I was so embarrassed. Had he not been holding my wrists, I would have quickly wiped it away.

  “Ivy, I would never hurt or leave you.”

  More tears left. I looked to the side, hoping he couldn’t see them in the shadowed light.

  With his thumb, he wiped one of the tears away. That soft gentle touch incited more need than his kisses ever could. My nipples grew stiff.

  His deep voice soothed me. “My sweet Ivy.”

  Another tear left.

  “Let me go.” I blinked. “I don’t like this.”

  “No?” He lowered and kissed my tears. “Deal with it.”

  “Let me go.”

  He kissed me. The wave of need rose higher and swept me away. I moaned into his mouth. He slipped his leg between mine and separated my thighs. And I kissed him with no expectations of what would come next. While I craved him, I couldn’t have any hopes for more. I was lucky that he was so patient all these years. Most would have given up by now.

  Still, I was so hungry. I wanted to seduce him. His soft lips on mine—so delicious and warm. When the kiss ended, silence proceeded.

  I hated the quiet between us, not used to it with him. “Say something.”

  “I’m done talking about it.” Saint lowered and kissed me again, soft, warm, and deep. His tongue slipped in and out as if enchanted with a charm for seduction. It drove me crazy, tasting him.

  He broke the kiss and returned to gazing at me. “I always forget how good you are at kissing. Of course, I know how good your pussy is and how silky that pussy tastes. But those lips. That tongue. The soft moans. . .I will never get you out of my head or heart.”

  I rose to kiss him and make sure he couldn’t forget me. It was unfair. Part of me knew I couldn’t be the perfect woman for him. The other part of me was too scared to watch him with another.

  I spoke to him with my mouth, giving him a kiss that said what my heart wouldn’t dare. It was a kiss that declared we were the very definition of love. A kiss that told him thank you for being patient with me all these years. A kiss that admitted that even when he moved on, I would always love him from afar and never be okay with it.

  But then, Saint took control of the kiss. And with it came no restraint. My body weakened. I was his. I felt like I was falling, plummeting into something that I could never survive. And while I tried to hold back and stop the kiss, my body wouldn’t let me.

  Right there, he claimed me.

  With his free hand, he ran his fingers through my hair. A groan left him. His grip tightened on my wrists. He moved his free hand to my breasts, squeezing the fullness of them. And then he tenderly pinched my nipples and slipped his hand along my body, appraising and caressing. Massaging and shoving me into a fiery rush of emotions.

  Saint!

  I tried to yank my ha
nds free. I yearned to trail my fingers down his back and relish in the hard lines of muscle on his chest.

  I moaned under him. My pussy got wetter and wetter with each flicker of his tongue against mine.

  This went on forever. It seemed our kissing would not end. And that the teasing would be for an eternity. A constant state of erotic limbo, never reaching heaven and definitely dipping in and out of hell. I got lost in his mouth. I descended into the lustful buzzing energy vibrating through me. Saint’s big, hard body pressed between my legs and I lost more of me, remembering how good his cock felt.

  I moaned so loud the sound shuddered through me.

  He broke the kiss with an abrupt groan.

  No.

  Erotic thrill and hot desire shot through my body. Panting, I whispered, “Let my wrists go.”

  He seared me with his gaze. “What would you do if I did?”

  “Take off your jeans.”

  He groaned.

  “Please, Saint.”

  Instead of obeying my request, he captured my mouth. Lust drowned me. I stirred under him, losing control. He deepened the kiss. My whole body awakened. It was like hundreds of soft fingers were caressing every inch of me.

  I moaned.

  He tightened his grip on my wrists as if scared I was almost free. When he broke our kiss and rubbed his cheek against mine. Then he met my hungry eyes with his own heated one.

  Shaking his head, he sneered at me. “Goddamn it!”

  “Why are you cursing at me?” I whispered. “You’re the one dragging this out. Take your clothes off.”

  He studied me.

  I looked up into his eyes needing to know what was going through his mind.

  “You know why I’m dragging this out, Ivy.”

  “Oh my God, Saint. Can we discuss this after you fuck me?”

  “I’m not falling for that trick again.”

  I slipped my body against his.

  He rose out of my reach. “Nice try.”

  “You’re being a pussy tease.”

  “Hmmm. I like that.”

  My heart thundered in my chest. “You’re making me so horny.”

  “Why did you cry?”

  “What?”

  “Why did you cry?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

  “You do.”

  “Is this a therapy session, Saint, or are we making out?”

  “It’s actually a little bit of both. Why did you cry?”

  My voice went weak. “You know why.”

  “You’re afraid.”

  I whispered, “Yes.”

  “You’ve never taken a chance with anyone.”

  “What’s the point, Saint? We’re in love in the beginning, but then comes pain and—

  “We’re not your parents.”

  “But my chopped-up heart came from them. They passed down my idea of love. And all of that is messed up. Is that what you want?”

  “Yes.”

  Trembling, I frowned. “If you’re not going to fuck me, then you can leave.”

  “And you’re going to be the one to kick me out?” Laughing, he let go of my wrists, rolled over, and lay on his back next to me. “You made my cock hard as fuck.”

  Pouting, I sat up and tried to touch it. “Let me see.”

  He moved my hands away.

  I glared at him. “Saint, you’re not being a stand-up guy right now.”

  “Really? A stand-up guy fucks a drunk girl after picking her up from a bar fight?”

  “Yes. That’s actually the very definition of a stand-up guy.”

  “It’s not.”

  Giving up on talking to him, I cupped his face in my hands and lowered to him, until the tips of our noses brushed. He didn’t move my hands away. Those blue eyes glowed in the shadowed room, watching me.

  “Lay back down, Ivy.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I want you to see this.”

  “What?” I lay down and gazed up at the glass ceiling.

  The first thing I noticed was an explosion of color. Greens, reds, oranges, and yellows burned like fire against a dark starry landscape. Stars glittered above us in the night sky. But even more, the Northern Lights dazzled the view. It was an ethereal display of colored lights shimmering across the universe.

  I gasped. “That’s beautiful.”

  “Magical even.”

  “I must admit. It does look like magic.”

  “I read that the Inuit thought the lights were their ancestors dancing in the sky.”

  Instantly, I thought about the dream with my mother and how we walked in the sky and stepped on clouds.

  Saint continued, “In Norse mythology, they thought these lights were a fire bridge to the sky.”

  “A bridge?”

  “Built by gods.”

  I widened my eyes. “But what is it?”

  “Big storms on the sun send gusts of solar particles hurtling across space.”

  “So this is solar particles?”

  “Or more specifically Earth’s magnetic field and atmosphere reacting to them.”

  “Which means?”

  He laughed. “I’m a chef, not an astronomer.”

  “Well, you sounded so smart. I figured you could keep schooling me.”

  “Since seeing this last night, all I’ve been doing is researching it. When I waited at the airport for you I was reading about it on my phone and hoping I could show you the view first.”

  “You got your wish.” I looked at him. “Now if only I could get my wish.”

  “If only you could.” He sat up, left the bed, and stood. His cock tented the front of his pants, reminding me of how big he was.

  My heart sank. “Saint?”

  He stuck his hands in his pants and adjusted his cock. “I told you that this Christmas will be different.”

  “Okay. Fine.” I sat up. “But can we do this different part tomorrow and you fuck me now? That way I will really learn my lesson.”

  He turned around and walked off. “You’re a horny little freak when you’ve been drinking.”

  “Just because your name is Saint doesn’t mean you have to be one.”

  He continued forward. “Trust me. My thoughts aren’t saint-like right now.”

  “You should feel how wet I am.”

  He stopped but didn’t turn around.

  “Saint,” I begged. “Come back to bed, please.”

  “No.” He walked over to the door and grabbed the knob.

  “This is bullshit!”

  He turned around and glared at me. “Too bad. I would love to be deep inside of your wet pussy tonight. But I happen to want more than that. I want your heart, your soul, and all of your time.”

  And then he left.

  “Asshole!” I picked up a pillow and slung it at the door. I fell back on the bed and let out a long breath. I was super horny and only Saint could take care of it. While I packed my vibrator, it was no replacement for his thick, long cock.

  He was mad.

  I understood.

  But in the end, I was saving him.

  I looked at the Northern Lights. The enchanted lines of color in the night sky soothed me. There, I remained—on my back, stargazing. Silence covered me like a blanket. My lids dropped over my eyes.

  Minutes later, I passed out, sinking into the land of slumber.

  In my dream, my body lifted from the bed on its own.

  “What?” I gazed at my glowing hands. “I can fly?”

  Blinking, I looked behind me and saw my physical body sleeping on the bed. My physical form had her mouth open. Drool dripped out of the corner of those lips.

  “God, I’m so drunk.” I continued to rise and turned back to see me going straight to the glass ceiling. “No!”

  I went right through it, feeling nothing.

  “Oh fuck! That was. . .close. . .” I was outside of my villa, rising to the sky and close to touching the shimmering Northern Lights. My body shifted from horizonta
l to vertical. Still, I floated, almost standing on some invisible cloud. “W-where am I going? What’s happening?”

  I looked at my hands. They brightened even more into this golden glow. I opened and closed my fingers. “What is this?”

  I gazed down at my clothes. I no longer wore the outfit from last night. Instead, I had on a simple pair of white pajamas, similar to what I wore as a kid.

  A deep voice sounded behind me. “It’s your spirit.”

  I spun around, not even knowing I had control of my floating body.

  A man rose with me. At least, I thought he was a man. A golden flame surrounded his face and rose above his head. The glow waved in this swirling pattern, never stopping. His head looked like the top of a lit candle. His skin was a dark bronze that glimmered in the starlight. He wore a pale blue robe that continuously shifted from side to side as if the garment lived too.

  We rose higher.

  Shocked, I pointed at him. “Who are you?”

  “Your mother told you about me.”

  “Y-you mean the other dream? That wasn’t real?”

  “What is a dream?”

  “It’s a. . .” I looked down and saw the Earth below my feet. “Holy shit!”

  “I kindly ask you not to speak that way. We don’t need any other entities coming for this lesson.”

  I hugged myself, not knowing what else to do. “Lesson?”

  “Your mother called us all for a sort of symposium of the soul. Your soul, actually.”

  “This is a weird fucking dream.”

  “Your mother did a lot to get all of our favors.” He grinned. Those white eyes brightened. “She’s an amazing woman.”

  We rose higher through the sky until the Earth became small and nonexistent.

  He stuck his hand into his robe. It must’ve been a pocket or something. He pulled out a long crystal key. “Are you ready for your first lesson?”

  I was still taking everything in. “Um. . .yes. . .I guess.”

  We stopped rising and remained suspended in the air.

  He pushed the key into the night sky. When he did, I couldn’t see the point of the key. I tilted my head, watching in fascination. He twisted the key. A white door formed in front of us. A black knob appeared. He grabbed and turned it.

  The door opened.

  “What the. . .I mean. . .” I peeked in.

  A new reality existed inside. It was some sort of distant land—deserted but full of more doors. But there were no walls or foundation for them. They were just doors on a distant land all lined up together. They all had different colors and types of knobs. A burning red sky was above the doors and it kept swirling over and over. In the middle of the swirling was a small ball of white light.