SACRED GRIP

by Allen, J. C

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” I said and glanced down.

  I knew Tara didn’t mean it, but the idea of going back to my past life triggered thoughts of what I had done in those previous days—not just the sex, the beatings, and the rapings, but the things I had done.

  Saving Derek multiple times. Sneaking behind Rock’s back. Killing Tyler…

  Like the dream I had…

  Or distracting that man just before Derek shot him, another dream I had…

  “Hey, Tara… can I tell you something? Off topic, but I need to get it off my chest.”

  “Sure, what’s up?” she asked.

  I took a deep breath. This was quite a departure from conversations about brothels, to say the least.

  “I just… I’ve been having these horrible dreams lately where I’m back at the scene where I have to save Derek. But instead of saving him, I fail. Like with Tyler, for instance. I had a dream that I pulled the trigger and the bullet bounced off his skull. He turned, laughed at me, and then killed Derek. And then he came over and… well, he raped me.”

  I sighed.

  “It’s like these dreams are telling me that eventually, my old life will catch up with me and kill Derek. And when that happens, it’s going to drag me back into the hell that I’d fought so hard to escape. I’m terrified, Tara. I’m terrified that Derek is going to get killed and you and I are going to wind up back in the hands of the Black Falcons. Yes, I was able to play it off some last night and this morning, but… it’s not something I can just escape so easily. You know?”

  Bless Tara, though she could be foul-mouthed and a bit crass at times, she also had an enormous sense of compassion when the situation necessitated it.

  Like now.

  “Oh, Eve,” she finally said. “I’m so sorry. I have dreams like that from time to time. They’re brutal, but they do eventually fade.”

  I’m sure they will once we win.

  If…

  No, once.

  “Have you talked about this with Derek?”

  “Not really,” I admitted. “I’ve been worried about stressing him out. He’s got enough to worry about, like recovering from getting shot and planning his next mission.”

  “Oh, ya dummy,” she said, wrapping her arms around me. “I won’t lie and say I’m not worried too… but we’ll get through this. Together. Okay?”

  It was her solution to everything—to get through it together.

  And I’ll be damned if it didn’t make me feel better every single time.

  “Thanks, Tara,” I said, feeling better from both her hug and her words.

  “Next time you have that nightmare, tell someone, k?” she said, glancing down at me. “Don’t wait for girl’s staycation to make me realize you need some therapy.”

  “I will, I promise,” I said, glancing down at my watch. “But on a more chipper note, I’m hungry, and I know how you are, you are too. Where do you wanna eat?

  “Uh, bitch. Didn’t you say there was a Medieval Times here?” she said, glancing over at me with another “are you stupid?” expression.

  Fortunately, this one seemed a lot nicer than the previous one.

  “I did, yeah,” I said, smiling. “Shall we go see if there’s a showtime soon?”

  “Uh, bitch, yeah.”

  “Uh, bitch, OK,” I said, and we were both laughing together like two old girlfriends in no time.

  Turned out, there was one in less than an hour, and we easily snagged two seats. I paid extra for the VIP package that was similar to the celebration passes. I wanted to get good seats for Tara as well, wanting her to enjoy the experience as much as I had.

  After all, Derek didn’t have VIP control over my life, even if he had VIP access to the best parts of it.

  “This place is so, damn, awesome!” Tara said as she explored the castle entrance.

  “Isn’t it?,” I said, the memories of my last visit returning. “When Derek and I came here, he got super jealous about one of the knights giving me a rose.”

  “Oh? Well, this time he won’t have to, ‘cuz I’ll be getting that rose,” she said smugly. “Ain’t no knight gonna see me and pass me up.”

  I smiled at her excitement and glanced up as they announced seating would begin. We made our way to our door. They led us through and we were seated right up front again. I glanced around and smiled, realizing we were sitting at the opposite side that Derek and I had been at. It was like I was getting the full experience.

  “I think we are sitting at the knight I was booing last time,” I said.

  “Booing?” Tara asked.

  “Yeah, notice these colors? We all get a knight who represents our section,” I said, smiling.

  “Oh! Well, I hope our knight is hot!” Tara said.

  The rest of the afternoon was spent with Tara fawning and cheering our knight—who, honestly, I didn’t think was that hot, but I think Tara had committed herself before hand to getting into it. I couldn’t help but laugh at just how into it she’d gotten, especially when, as she said she would, she got the rose.

  I was also glad when the knight had given her a rose because I was worried that she might jump over our table and run after the poor man if he didn’t. Knowing Tara, it was a distinct and real possibility.

  After finishing our meal and the show ended, we made our way back to the car, exhausted.

  Though Tara and I could sometimes have our differences, in stressful times like this, it was nice to know that no matter what, I had her by my side. I was reminded of the time that Rock had mocked her for thinking that the girls in the Falcons would stand up for her.

  Well, I could never speak for the other girls, but I could say that Tara would have stood up for me.

  “Well, today was a ton of fun!” Tara said, waving the large amount of shopping bags she carried. “All love, Eve, but let’s face it, I’m more fun than your man.”

  I just laughed. What else could you do with the ridiculousness of Tara?

  “It really was amazing.”

  “Good thing we got this, too, helped quell some of my itch for a fight.”

  I looked at her askance. A fight?

  “I think the Saviors got it, Tara—”

  “Uh uh, don’t you go telling me what Derek told me too! I grew up with a rifle, you know. Dad taught me how to hunt and everything. I know how to handle myself! If we get into a spot where the Saviors gotta split up, I’m taking part!”

  I tried to keep a positive spirit alive, telling her that I loved her energy.

  “I’m serious, too,” Tara said, her words more focused than before. “I’m getting as thirsty for revenge as a thirty year old virgin is for some pussy. I can’t keep myself together much longer.”

  “Uh huh,” I said.

  I was slightly weary of having too many rambunctious, impetuous friends running into battle without thinking about the consequences. First Derek, and now Tara? Was Matty next?

  But then again, at least Derek was pulling back. Derek would listen to me. Tara?

  I had a better chance of corralling a hungry grizzly bear after stealing her cubs than I did keeping control of Tara.

  We’d just have to see if that led to more days like today… or if today was one of the last such days.

  11

  Derek

  There were so many things wrong with having Roost over for the day instead of Eve that I had trouble counting them all up. But, bored as I was sitting on the couch, watching the fourth movie of the day, trying to kill time until Eve came back while Roost ordered his second pizza of the day to go with his first delivery of bagel sandwiches, I thought, fuck it, let’s count ‘em all.

  First was the obvious lack of sex. Roost might have been as horny as Eve, but let’s just say his orifices were ones I was not willing to go down or even consider. Chastity seemed awfully appealing next to Roost.

  Second, I couldn’t do anything without feeling like Roost was watching me. If I went to take a piss, I knew Roost was listenin
g to make sure I wasn’t groaning too loudly. If I said I wanted to get food, Roost used his phone to order some and bring it in. I couldn’t hate it too much, since it was all in the name of getting me better, but goddamn did this get old!

  Third, my God… I knew Tara had complained the morning before about his farts, and I knew from my time at the shop that he had a bit of a flatulence issue, but holy hell! And all over my stuff, too! And when I mentioned it to him, his response was, “it’s yer punishment to be with me all day.”

  Fourth, he loved to talk about his recent sexual exploits. While I had no qualms with him being gay, just as hearing a straight man brag about the number of women he’d slept with, hearing Roost brag about the eighth guy he had gotten his dick into over as many days got old quite fast. It got especially old when he described the older men he had gotten with, and I just resorted to closing my eyes.

  Fifth… I wasn’t running out of things to complain about, it was more that I was just accepting what today had turned into. Roost would control my apartment, keep an eye on me, and Eve and Tara would go off and do their own thing. It was their punishment to me for being too rebellious last night, or that’s what they said it was.

  I didn’t even think I was being rebellious! I just thought I was helping the Marines! That’s the last time I ever help anyone out. Punks.

  “Roost, I know you’re enjoying this as much as anyone else,” I said around 4 p.m. as the most recent movie, some comedy with Adam Sandler whose name I couldn’t remember, came to a close. “But I’m begging you, please let me go ride my chopper. Or at least find out where Eve and Tara are.”

  “Hmm,” Roost said, stroking his chin deliberately. “I suppose I coulda done that for ya already… but ya never asked! Why, which of those two would ya prefer?”

  “The chopper,” I said, thinking that if I had that, I could head to the mall and find Eve and Tara. I might get my ass kicked my Tara, but it’d be worth it to see Eve, even if all she did was tease, tease, and tease some more before kicking me out as well.

  “Alrighty then, lemme just make a call real quick here,” he said, pulling out his phone.

  He didn’t even turn it on…

  “’Ello, common sense? Well hey there, how are ya? Yeah, this is Roost. My boy here Derek? He got shot last night, and he wants to know if he can go ridin’. What’s that? Ya say that would be stupid? No way!”

  I looked at him, folded my arms, and rolled my eyes as I slunk into the chair.

  “Alrighty then, thanks Mr. Sense! I’ll be sure to let him know!”

  Roost put the phone down and cleared his throat.

  “Sorry, but—”

  “I get it, you’re good,” I said. “I suppose asking you if I can go see Eve and Tara is also out of the question.”

  “Well, it’s not out of the question, it’s the question itself, right?” Roost said.

  I looked at him, puzzled, and just shook my head with a groan.

  “Since when did you become a philosopher?”

  “Around the same time that ya went and nearly got yerself killed?”

  “Oh Jesus,” I said, putting my hands on my face. “You know I didn’t actually get myself almost killed, right? That getting shot is part of the deal?”

  I saw Roost take a hefty sigh, twiddle his thumbs, and then let out another sigh.

  “I ain’t stupid, Derek, and I know ya know that,” he said. “I’m well aware—too aware, really, knowin’ yer daddy and Dustin—of the dangers of this. And I know that ya gots to put yerself in some bad situations in the coming weeks.”

  He snorted.

  “But ya got someone who loves ya. I’ll admit fully to bein’ skeptical when ya told me ‘bout her. At the time, I’m sittin’ there thinkin’ you’d lost yer damn mind goin’ for some Black Falcons whore. Now, be clear, I know she more than that now, but that’s what crossed my mind then. And, well, be honest, ya have lost yer damn mind, but ya lost it for the best reason possible.”

  He let out a bellow of a laugh, as if in disbelief at what all had transpired. Even I had to laugh sometimes, although right now the pain in my arm and the aftermath of this was not quite letting me reach the same levels of guffaws as Roost had.

  “She a special girl, Derek. Ya ain’t need me to tell ya that. But here’s what I can tell ya that maybe you ain’t realize. We had plans—me and a few other VPs and what not—for what we’d do when ya killed yerself.”

  “C’mon,” I said. “I knew I was bad, but—”

  “You was worse, Derek,” he said seriously. “We seriously believed ya’d hit a point where ya said ‘fuck it’ and ended it somehow. Frankly, I think ya can thank the ghost of Maggie for keepin’ yer ass alive, or her spirit, or however ya want to call it.”

  How right you are without even realizing it, Roost.

  “In any case, ever since the girl came along, ya know what? We scrapped those plans. I ain’t even sure who in charge of them anymore. I think they burned, honestly. Ya a new man, Derek Knight. The man who bitched and moaned and whined and everythin’? That man is dead. But in his place is someone much more valued.”

  I couldn’t help but smile at that. Roost didn’t give these compliments much, but when he did…

  “So when Eve comes to me and asks somethin’, I do it. Practically speakin’, she’s as much a reason for the Saviors makin’ a comeback as anyone else, even if she ain’t know the difference between a Colt 45 and an AK-47. Her presence is what keeps us goin’, or rather, you goin’, and so long as that’s the case, I’m doin’ whatever she requests. But, personally, I like ya two. Not always. Well, her, always. You, I oughta have kicked yer ass a few times. But ya two make a nice combo. Don’t lose that.”

  “I won’t,” I said, thinking of all the potential Eve and I had for the road ahead.

  No matter what lanes we took, it seemed all but inevitable that the future journey would encompass us both. It was entirely possible said road would end in a few days or a couple weeks, but if we got past that, we’d live to the end of our days together, true love forever and ever.

  And yes, I was willing to say that. I think I was willing to say that before, but the last three weeks of her being there in the good times, showing me it was as valued as the troubling and dark times, made it worthwhile.

  Even if she gave me blue balls this morning.

  “Good,” Roost said. “Keep it that way. I ain’t huntin’ yer ass down for a beatdown more than once if ya fuck up.”

  “I know,” I said. “Wow, Roost, thanks.”

  “Bah, thank Eve,” Roost said with a smirk.

  I smiled back at him, truly feeling flattered by what he said.

  “I suppose with words like that, you could send me out now?”

  “Nope.”

  “Damn.”

  “Nice try, though.”

  I just laughed, scrolling through for yet another movie to kill the time. I settled on some sci-fi film about dogs developing human minds and let it aimlessly begin, not giving two shits about what it was actually about.

  And then Roost’s phone actually rang.

  “Is it common sense giving you a call back to let me out?”

  “Yer a comedian, Derek,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Hey, whore.”

  Well, that answers who he’s talking to.

  “Yeah, yeah, ya two good?”

  A brief pause came that temporarily left me concerned, but Roost’s unchanging emotion and continued silliness ameliorated any such worries.

  “Ya ain’t buy too much of that shit, I hope,” Roost said with a long sigh. “Alright, I figured. Whatcha need?”

  More silence came.

  “Alright, sounds good. Tell Eve his boy’s been behavin’. Had to whip his ass ‘round coupla times, but he’s a quick learner.”

  I laughed as I imagined what Tara and Eve were saying in response. Roost said, “See ya soon,” and hung up.

  “Looks like yer getting yer wish after all, pretty boy,” Roost said.
“Yer girl’s comin’ home. Piece of advice—be more patient with her than me. I’m a horn-dog. She ain’t gonna jump ya like I’d jump a gay bear.”

  “Uh, huh,” I said slowly, knowing full well how close Eve had come that morning to getting me off. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. But, hey, Roost.”

  He turned to me with a curious yet serious stare in his eyes.

  “Thank you. Not just for what you say, but for being an awesome sergeant for the Saviors. We’d be up a Falcons’ ass about now without you, and given your status as the most tenured member of the Saviors, you’ve earned everything and anything given to you. I owe you my life on multiple occasions, including making sure I stayed at it between Maggie and Eve. So, thanks.”

  “Aw, shit, Derek, don’t turn this into no Brokeback Mountain,” he said with a chuckle, although I swore—just barely—that his voice cracked a bit. By the time he resumed speaking, though, it was gone. “Just be yerself, bud. Easy to take care of ya when yer in good spirits.”

  I didn’t have to say anything more. Despite the blue balls, despite the adult supervision, despite the lack of freedom, today had actually gone better than I could have ever anticipated.

  And now that I had Eve finally coming home, it was bound to only get better.

  “Ya know what the craziest thing is?”

  “Huh?” I said, snapping out of my thoughts at Roost’s words. “What?”

  “Tara thinkin’ of movin’ in with me.”

  “Seriously?” I said with a laugh. “Isn’t she there already?”

  “Well, yes, but that’s cuz I’m bein’ nice to her,” Roost said with an eye roll. “She talkin’ ‘bout payin’ rent and the whole schebang.”

  “No kidding.”

  “I wish,” Roost said with a laugh.

  “You like her,” I said, speaking the words before I could fully realize the truth behind them. “You like a girl who can talk shit like you. You like her because you’ll never develop an attraction to her. She’s like the sister you never had. Huh. Is that it?”