Love & War

by Kaitlin Bevis

  “So you just left us behind?” I crossed my arms.

  Suddenly the party guests became very interested in the snack table set up on the other side of the room.

  Narcissus had the grace to look ashamed. “I assumed he’d get to you two next.”

  “Well, you weren’t wrong.” I forced a smile to my face.

  “I had no idea he would hurt you,” Narcissus said softly. “I am sorry about that.” He glanced around as if hoping someone would come to his rescue. “Enjoy your party.”

  When he moved away, Ares squeezed my hand then followed Narcissus through the crowd, no doubt to ask some follow-up questions. Unfortunately, that left me surrounded by a crowd of unfamiliar demigods.

  Medea squeezed through the crowd and put a cup of punch in my hand. “He’s not staying,” she said, motioning to Narcissus’s back. “He drops by every now and then, makes sure everything is running to his specifications, and then leaves to seek out potential recruits. He meets a lot of demigods in his line of work. Which, I guess you’d know.”

  “Huh.” I made a mental note to pass that tidbit along to the other gods. If Narcissus was leaving the island, they could find him and either follow him back or force him to spill our whereabouts.

  By the time the party ended, my face ached with smiling and my head swam. “There’s so many of them,” I said to Ares in an undertone, as the last of the well-wishers filtered out of the house. “And they’re all so young. Narcissus was the only person over forty I’ve seen since I left the hospital.”

  Ares latched the door. “Most the demigods on the island are in their late teens or early twenties. They don’t recruit younger than that. Any older, and most demigods already have well-established lives. They’ll join the network, but they don’t tend to come here.”

  “They probably don’t want to reenact Lord of the Flies,” I snarked.

  “Actually, Jason keeps decent order on the island.” Ares intercepted me before I could reach the punch bowl. “You’re not cleaning up. You just got discharged from the hospital. Have a seat, and let me handle this.”

  “Thanks.” I sat down on the couch, letting my head sink into the cushion and closed my eyes. “They actually threw me a surprise party. Guess they really want us to feel welcome, huh?”

  “Well.” Ares loaded the dishwasher. “You. They really want you to feel welcome. I’m sort of in the doghouse for consorting with a known goddess.”

  “They asked—” I broke off before I could say Adonis. “That was their doing,” I said instead. We were alone, but it was better to be in the habit of being careful.

  “Actually, if you’ll recall, that was a negotiation.”

  Right. When the demigods saw me board the ship, they’d been ready to knife me with Steele to protect their operation. Adonis promised to keep me out of their way and agreed to slip me the compound so long as they let me live. He didn’t know the compound could kill me. I closed my eyes. “They’re so angry.” Even Medea, whose default seemed to be bright and cheery, sounded positively venomous when she referred to them. Us. Me.

  “There’s a lot of history there,” Ares said, tying off a trash bag. “Lots of cause for anger.” Gods hadn’t always treated demigods well. And who knew to what degree Zeus had screwed with them in recent history? “But I think she might just be able to smooth this over just by talking if the others allow it.”

  I didn’t have to ask which “she” he meant. Persephone. She still thought more like a human than a god. As new and naïve as she was, she was probably our best bet for opening a line of communication with the demigods and maybe talking down this entire conflict before it escalated. But Poseidon wouldn’t just forget the insult of being attacked in his own realm with deadly weapons, and Persephone couldn’t just shrug off the abduction of a realm ruler or the poisoning of her subjects without losing the respect of the entire Pantheon. The demigods deserved whatever was coming to them, but they were being kind to me. Once again, I was repaying kindness with treachery.

  “It could work,” Ares insisted, as if sensing my doubt.

  “How is it possible that you’re still an optimist?” I’d only been alive three years, and I didn’t think I had an optimistic bone left in my body.

  Ares shrugged. “It’s a gift.” The smell of lemon-scented cleaning solution permeated the air as Ares sprayed down the countertops of the tiny kitchen. “We have a chance to head things off before they escalate into something we’re all going to regret. We just need to be careful what we report.”

  I grimaced, following his line of thought. When it came time to decide what to do about these demigods, Elise’s cooperation would count for something. But would it be enough? Adonis had drugged me and been complicit in the actions that led to the disappearance of one realm ruler and three other gods having limited access to their powers.

  Most of the damage could be laid at Tantalus’s feet. Adonis was insistent that the vast majority of the demigods here didn’t want to hurt the gods. They just wanted to be allowed to exist in peace. Since that was completely in line with our plans for them, we’d lose nothing by agreeing to that. So long as they didn’t do anything irreparable to Hades. “Tantalus was working with someone,” I reminded Ares. “Possibly a lot of someones.”

  “But if we can prove those someones are the minority and we can get the rest of the demigods to agree to some basic terms, we might be able to stop this from escalating.” Finished cleaning, he dropped beside me on the couch.

  I thought of Medea and all the smiling faces at the party and my throat went dry. The demigods were a bigger threat than we’d imagined, but at the end of the day, it wouldn’t take much to squash them. They might take some of us down with them, but my people had fought giants and Titans and each other for millennia. We’d literally created war.

  “If anyone can do it, she can,” he said, and something about his expression was so Ares that I flinched seeing it on Adonis’s face. “What?”

  Leaning my head back on the couch, I closed my eyes. He still had Adonis’s voice, but Ares’s tone outweighed the resemblance enough to ignore.

  “I hate him,” I whispered. “I hate him so much that it’s hard to look at you.”

  Ares shifted, putting his back against the arm of the couch. “Turn around.”

  Turning, I propped myself up against his legs. Ares rested his hands on my shoulders and began to knead at the muscle there. His fingers still burned my skin. That much hadn’t changed at least.

  “You’ve never hated someone you cared about before, have you?” he asked.

  I shook my head, shifting so the fabric of the couch stopped biting into my thighs. “Does it go away?”

  “No.” Ares’s voice went wistful. “Though sometimes you think it has. Then years later, it’s the middle of the night and you find yourself thinking about that person again. First, you miss them, enough to consider reaching out to them and reconciling. But then you remember all over again what they did. Where it all went wrong. And I don’t know which part is worse.”

  Tears pricked at my eyes and I hated myself for them. “Years? I don’t even get seconds. He’s there every time I close my eyes, all tangled up with Zeus and Poseidon and Tantalus. I understand why he did it, but I won’t forgive him. I can’t.” Twisting to face Ares, I met his eyes, mentally begging him to understand. “But I understand it. Zeus is dead. He can’t come back. Tantalus is—” I caught myself. This entire conversation was too dangerous to have if there was even a chance we could be overheard, so I knew Ares must have determined that wasn’t a risk. But still. “Gone. Poseidon is handled. Why can’t I just move on?”

  “Because we aren’t wired that way. No one is.” Ares moved his hands down my shoulders as he spoke. “They hurt you. That doesn’t just—” He broke off, frowning. “Think of it like this. When you drop a pebble into still wat
er, it breaks the surface with a splash. That’s the initial trauma and it’s over in a second. The rock sinks to the bottom. But there are still ripples. At first, they’re close to the center, one right after another, but the farther away they move, the more space there is between them. Until—”

  “They stop.”

  Ares nodded. “But the water’s not the same anymore. It’s moved, changed, and—” He slumped back against the arm of the couch. “This made more sense in my head.” A smile spread across his face and he opened his mouth to say something self-deprecating or intentionally stupid, but I stopped him.

  “It’s just me here,” I reminded him, leaning against his legs, and glancing up at the wooden ceiling beams. “You don’t have to do that.”

  In crowds, we both forced ourselves to smile, kept our voices light, and joked like nothing fazed us. We were the same. The two of us played at being shallow and thoughtless, and maybe there was some truth in that. But all that mattered was that no one looked close enough for our cracks to show. Ares saw that in me when we first met, and it hadn’t taken much longer for me to see right through him. That’s why we’d gotten so close, so fast, last year, and why it had hurt so much when he’d left.

  “Okay.” His hands settled on my shoulders with a gentle squeeze.

  Chapter XIV

  Medea

  I’LL NEVER FORGET the first time I left that hospital. I stood at the back of the boat watching, until the flames and smoke were distant smudges on the horizon. Jason joined me once everything on the ship was settled. When he slid his arm around me, I felt so at peace. It was so nice to lean back and find someone who honestly cared about me.

  The trip to Jason’s island had been more harrowing than I could have imagined. But I’ll never forget that perfect sense of peace and joy I felt at escaping my old life. I wonder if I’ll ever feel that again.

  Six weeks. Today makes six weeks and we still haven’t gotten our shipment of supplies in.

  Glancing at the clock, I sighed in frustration. It still wasn’t quite time to go, but I wouldn’t be “insufferably early,” as Glauce put it. So I headed outside to borrow one of the golf carts, then picked up Glauce and Otrera before heading over to Elise’s cabin.

  “Are you sure she’s ready for an outing?” Glauce asked, tossing her hair over the shoulder of the bright red top intended for someone two, maybe three sizes smaller than the slim demigoddess. “I mean, she was just released from the hospital yesterday. Maybe she needs a few days to settle in.”

  Otrera shook her head. “This is too important to wait.”

  I didn’t bother saying it, but I agreed with Otrera.

  The drive wasn’t long, since we were basically all on the same street, but I didn’t want to ask Elise to walk anywhere, so the golf cart seemed to be the best choice. “Wait here,” I told them when I pulled up to Elise’s cabin.

  When I knocked on her door, Adonis answered.

  “Hi,” he said, a broad grin taking over his face. “Looking for Elise?”

  “Oh,” I said, feeling stupid. He’d barely left her side at the hospital. Why should I be surprised he was still here? “Um, yeah. Is she . . . ?”

  “I’m here,” Elise called from somewhere behind him.

  Adonis opened the door wider so I could see Elise making her way down the hall from the living room.

  “Sorry, it takes me a bit longer to get around than I’m used to.” She flushed, but I could hear the undercurrent of frustration in her voice.

  I remembered that transition. In the hospital, motion was so infrequent, and there were so many medicines they could give you for any slight discomfort, that the bursts of activity I’d been allowed, mainly just walking up and down the hall, had felt like nothing. Once I left, I was amazed at how often I moved in a given day. I’d almost missed the drugs, and I hadn’t been recovering from a surgery at that point, must less a stab wound.

  “What’s up?” she asked when she reached the door, her words barely more than breath.

  Adonis glanced at her and I could see him fighting back the urge to tell her to sit down, that we’d come to her, and my respect for him rose just a little.

  “The girls and I”—I motioned to the golf cart behind me—“were hoping you’d join us for breakfast. There’s a really nice spot to picnic that we can drive right up to.” I smiled. “It’ll be fun.”

  She hesitated, and I could almost see her measuring the walk to the golf cart. When she glanced at Adonis, he shrugged.

  “Um, yeah,” she decided. “I don’t want to keep you guys waiting, but could I take just a minute to get ready?”

  “Of course.”

  “You can come in.” She craned her neck so she could see the girls on the golf cart. “All of you.”

  I motioned Glauce and Otrera over, and they extracted themselves from the cart. Both of them greeted Elise with grins and Adonis with frost.

  “I’ll be just a minute,” Elise promised, disappearing into her room. Adonis followed on her heels.

  “Well,” Glauce said under her breath. “Guess they are still a thing. Do you think she knows about him and the goddess?”

  Otrera shushed her, glancing down the hall toward the bedroom.

  “Of course she knows. But he’s a familiar face and she probably needs help,” I reminded them in an undertone. She’d been fully dressed, but shoes could be hard if memory served. After every surgery I’d had that messed with my abdomen, it took forever to feel normal again when it came to bending or twisting. Even after the scarring and bruising faded. And I healed fast.

  True to her word, Elise popped out of her room a minute later, sporting fluffier hair and slip-on shoes.

  “Have fun,” Adonis called as we walked out the door.

  “You, too,” she called back, sitting in the front seat of the golf cart.

  Glauce and Otrera exchanged quick looks, then got in the back seat. Elise hadn’t even hesitated. There was no covert glance around to see if anyone else was heading for that seat. She just slid in, as if it belonged to her.

  Shrugging, I slid into my seat and put the key in the ignition. “How do you like your cabin?”

  “I like the view. Where’s yours?”

  “Number thirteen, so just a few houses down the way.” I waved toward my cabin as we drove.

  The site we’d chosen for the picnic was the highest spot on the island. From the direction we drove, the incline was gradual, but the other side of our small, grassy hill ended in a sheer, rock wall. Below, the waves pounded against the stone with an angry vengeance.

  Accustomed to the sight, Glauce, Otrera, and I grabbed the cooler and made short work of setting up while Elise stared wide-eyed over the cliff.

  “This is beautiful,” she murmured.

  “You should see the rest of the island,” I replied with a grin. “There’s tons of hidden gems like this.”

  Otrera grabbed a box of strawberries and settled on to the red blanket while Glauce poured mimosas.

  “Should we get started?” Otrera asked.

  “Started?” Elise sat across from Otrera, a look of concern settling over her features. “Started with what?”

  I sat beside her to stop the blanket from flapping away in the wind and drew in a deep breath. “There’s some stuff we always go over whenever a demigoddess ends up on the island. I didn’t want to talk about it in the hospital. You had enough on your plate.”

  “But it’s too important to wait any longer,” Otrera interrupted.

  “Right.” I nodded to Otrera, letting her take over.

  “Female demigods are rare.” Otrera leaned forward, her eyes intense. “We don’t know why; it’s just how it works. So basically, that means there are the four of us,” she motioned around the blanket, “and nearly a hundred of them.”


  Elise’s eyes narrowed. “Are you suggesting I need to be worried about—?”

  “Yes.” Otrera said at the same time Glauce said “No.”

  “Otrera just hates men,” Glauce said nastily.

  “Glauce!” My head snapped toward her, horrified. The demigoddess was never what I’d describe as nice, but she was rarely this hostile.

  Otrera rolled her eyes. “I don’t hate men; I’m just not attracted to them. There’s a difference.”

  “Yeah,” Glauce said, pulling her hair up into a bun to keep the wind from tangling it. “And the difference seems to be that you see a rapist hiding around every corner.”

  My mouth dropped open. “Seriously, Glauce?”

  “I do not,” Otrera protested, flicking an errant strand of grass off the blanket. “But I’m not comfortable with the dynamics here. We are off the map. The rules don’t apply here in the same way, and yeah, sometimes that scares me.”

  “The guys here aren’t like that,” Glauce protested. “You keep scaring newbies with this chat, but you never mention that nothing has ever actually happened.”

  Newbies? She made it sound like Otrera had given this speech a thousand times.

  “And I’d like to keep it that way,” Otrera retorted. “Look, most of us don’t have combat powers, and you’re probably pretty used to using your charm to get out of sticky situations.”

  Elise shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. Aren’t you?”

  Otrera shook her head. “I’m a first generation. Whoever my divine parent was, they didn’t pass on charm. So basically, I’m useless.”

  “You are not,” I objected, inhaling a calming breath of salt-tinged air as I tried to bury my fury at Glauce. “But let’s get back to the point. Even among the demigods who aren’t immune to charm, it’s at least in some of their skill sets. Growing up getting whatever you want through mind-control has an effect on a person.”