WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR: a nostalgic romantic comedy (Boston Classics Book 1)

by Karen Grey

  Maybe Will and I will figure things out. If not, I’ll be back to independent Kate in no time. I’ll grieve a bit more, but I’ll be fine.

  Eventually.

  I survived last time, after all.

  I unzip my bag, hang up my dress and pull out my running gear. A good long run will make me feel better.

  At least I can count on that.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  BEEP. SATURDAY, 10:02 a.m.

  Will, it’s Pam. Listen, if you get this we could really use some help at the community center. We still have a lot to do to finish up the sets for their performance tonight. No—no, don’t put that over there! Shit, I gotta go.

  WILL

  “Wow. You really know what you’re doing.”

  I’d been surprised to hear that Ben Porter had joined the group of company actors finishing up the sets and costumes for our kids’ show this weekend. Now, I watch somewhat in awe as the model/actor deftly runs a series of two-by-fours through a table saw, one of the many pieces of professional-looking equipment I just helped him unload from a van.

  Ben stacks the wood and then checks the design plans. “I’m definitely more confident with these tools than I am in rehearsal right now.”

  I wave those worries away. “You’re doing a great job. For a model, anyway.” I grin when he slides me a look.

  Since I’d planned to be out of town this weekend, I don’t have an assigned task. Even though last night’s film shoot ran until the wee hours of this morning, I couldn’t sleep in. Too restless. So I came over to the community center to help out. Anything to distract me from the fact that somehow my relationship with Kate seems to have imploded. Ben was the first to say he could use my help.

  “I don’t know much about running those tools, but I’ve been told I take direction well. Just tell me what to do.”

  Ben picks up another two-by-four. “Let me just run these through, and then I’ll need your hands.”

  “Sounds good.” I scan the sea of faces surrounding us, hoping to find Mike and Randall. I also plan to use this time to talk the actors into filming some R&J scenes for my fight director reel. Jimmy had been enthusiastic about shooting it.

  Ben calls me over to where he’s laid out the lengths of lumber to explain what he needs me to do. It’s actually the most I’ve heard the guy speak outside of his lines in the play. Watching him operate the automatic drill, I ask, “How’d you learn how to do this stuff?”

  He juts his chin at the logo on the van parked on the blacktop. “That’s my dad’s company. He does custom cabinets.” He squats and quickly drives six more screws into the base of the flat. “I’ve helped out in the shop since I was a kid. It was easier for him than hiring a babysitter after school.”

  “Did your mom work too?” I thought about my mom, who’d always been there for us in the afternoons, since she was a school librarian.

  “No. She died when I was little. I don’t really remember her.” Ben keeps his eyes on the task at hand.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Thanks. It was a long time ago.” His voice reveals little as he nods toward a stack of frames. “Help me move these. We’ll attach them to the flats after they’re painted.”

  He easily lifts the heavy supports. I’d noticed his strength in our first fight rehearsal.

  “What do you do to keep in shape?”

  He shrugs. “I do weights, mostly. I was in a car accident when I was in college, and the physical therapist got me lifting. It keeps me sane. And in shape for the camera.”

  “Do you like it? Modeling?”

  “It’s⁠…” He pauses as we negotiate the parking lot toward the back of the building. “I like that I’ve gotten to travel to some interesting places and get to know some good people. You’d think models would be self-involved and crazy, and some are. But I’ve made some good friends.”

  On the way back, my gaze is on the ground. So, Ben is shy. I’d assumed he was a snob because he’s kind of famous. Like how people assume that all actors are extroverts. Some are. Jessica and Mike have huge personalities. I’m an introvert. Most people don’t believe it since I’m a pretty flashy bartender and an actor, but those are just roles I play. In life, it takes me a while to let down my guard.

  That hadn’t been the case with Kate, though.

  Ben breaks into my thoughts with an arm in front of my chest and a quiet murmur. “Traffic.”

  I stop short as two boys on bikes whiz by. “Thanks.”

  He nods and settles in to frame another flat.

  I hold the edges in place. “Are you going back to L.A. after the show closes?”

  He pulls screws from his pocket and aims the Makita. “I have to go back at some point.” Pressing the trigger, he efficiently drives in one after the other. “I’m under contract and have to do a few more shoots. Long term, it kind of depends on how things go with my dad.”

  I hold the flat steady, even though he could probably do this without me. “So, I have a huge favor to ask.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m working toward my fight director certification and having a reel is an important part of it. I met some film students looking for a project, and they’re excited about putting it together for me. I’d love to use the Romeo and Juliet fights as the centerpiece.”

  He nods, and I follow him to the next corner. “Cool.”

  “So, you’d be willing to do that? I have no money or anything. But you could get a copy for your reel, in case you ever needed to show your combat skills.”

  “Sure. Sounds fun.” He catches my eye. “You’d only use it for the application, right?”

  “Oh, yeah. I mean, I’m not gonna put it on CC-TV or anything.”

  He holds my gaze. “I don’t want to be a dick, but my contract is pretty strict about where my face appears.”

  “Great, well, I’ll talk to Randall and Mike, and hopefully we can get it scheduled.”

  “Sounds good. Let me make sure these are square and level, and then we can take them over.”

  When another pack of kids goes roaring by, it hits me that Ben’s low-key energy might be useful to them. “You know, if you stick around, it’d be great if you wanted to work with the kids. Some of them don’t want to act, but they want to be involved. They’re all here because they need somewhere to go after school. A lot of them don’t even have a home to go to.”

  “I’d like to help out. Working on sets is how I started out doing theater.” A rare smile crosses Ben’s face as he holds a metal triangle up to the corners of the flat. “My best friend Tony wanted to meet girls, so he made me join the drama club. He was such a ham that he got the lead in the first thing he tried out for. I was shy and had the carpentry skills, so I worked on the sets and played smaller parts.”

  “Did he go on to be an actor?”

  “No. He joined the army. And he⁠…” Ben’s voice drops so low I can barely hear it. “Passed away.”

  “Wow. I’m sorry about that. Where was he stationed?” I’m not up on foreign relations, but I’m pretty sure we’re not at war with anybody.

  “He actually died in a car accident. Here in the U.S.” His jaw tightens slightly as he removes and replaces a few screws.

  “Wow. That sucks.”

  “It did.” Ben tips his head toward a group of kids. “But at least I wasn’t homeless.”

  Yep. Somebody else always has things worse.

  It kind of puts my fight with Kate into perspective. Maybe we both overreacted. Things had been really good with her. Despite our differences, there’s a good chance we could talk things out and move on.

  Least I can do is try.

  KATE

  A few hours into the country club wedding reception I’m contemplating whether anyone would notice if I put my feet up under the table, when my sister Laura plops down next to me. She takes a swig from my wineglass before scooting her chair closer. “Sooo… Steve is very handsome.”

  Since it would be awkward to turn away
from her to get my feet on a chair, I ease my shoes off instead. “He’s a good guy.” I point and flex my poor toes, wishing for my sneakers. “But Laura, you get that we’re just work friends, right? That’s it.”

  Laura’s cheek rests on her palm, her eyes a bit glazed. We watch Steve twirl his partner gracefully. “He’s so suave. And how cute is that? He’s out there dancing with Aunt Mary.”

  “Yep.”

  My mother, one aunt, three cousins and now my sister have all found me over the course of the evening, basically anytime I’ve had a moment alone—a feat, since Steve’s stuck pretty close all night—and every single woman has said how nice my date and I look together. Also, that he seems to come from good people, for a northerner. Also, what a great dancer he is.

  He is a good dancer, I’ll give him that. To my surprise, I’ve actually had fun tonight. Since we’ve been spending so much time traveling together, things are easy between us. We had a good-natured argument over dinner about the pros and cons of trickle-down economics, but it wasn’t uncomfortable or anything. In fact, he mentioned a concept called microfinance that I’ve never heard of but definitely want to research further.

  Of course, my parents love him. And agree with him on Reagan’s magical thinking.

  He’s smarter than I thought. Rather, he has smarts that I can appreciate, that I hadn’t allowed for. People smarts. He always knows the right thing to say.

  But I am just not attracted to him. He’s handsome, but that heart-pounding, breath-catching thing that happens whenever Will touches me or looks at me a certain way or just walks in the room? It’s not there. I miss Will. In a way that literally hurts. I ache for his mouth next to my ear, making me shiver.

  “Are you cold? You need my jacket?”

  The voice in my ear isn’t Will’s, unfortunately. Steve must’ve worn Aunt Mary out.

  “Oh, no. I’m fine, thanks.” I slip my feet back into the evil heels as he sits down on my other side.

  Laura turns toward him like a flower to sunlight. “So, Steve, any good vacation plans this summer?”

  “Nothing exciting. I’m meeting some college friends for a week on the Vineyard. That’s always fun.” He lights a cigarette and sips his drink, which looks exactly like the one Will made me oh so long ago. “You should come down, Kate.”

  “Oh.” I blink my way back from memories of Will dancing behind his bar. “Uh, thanks. I don’t know if I can take any more time off, though.”

  Laura waves that down. “Why not? Have you had a vacation besides this one?” She leans in even closer, like she’s about to share a state secret. “Listen, you’ve got to have fun before you start having kids because believe me, once you do, your time is not your own.”

  She cranes her neck to scan the room, seeming to remember that her kids are out there somewhere. “Dang it. Mikey’s got the cake knife.” She pushes herself away from the table. “I guess I’d better wrestle it away from him.”

  Steve stretches his arm across my chair back, surveying the room. “Your family’s great.”

  “Oh, thanks. They can be overwhelming.” I finish off what my sister left in my glass of wine. “But you’re handling it with aplomb. Dancing with Aunt Mary. That earned you some serious brownie points. I think you might get front row for the garter toss.”

  “Score.” He half laughs, putting out his cigarette. “So, do you want to get some air?”

  “Uh, sure.” I could use a break from the crowd. “It’s actually quite pretty out on the deck.”

  He stands and gestures for me to lead the way. “After you.”

  As we step through the French doors, a welcome breeze greets us. So many good childhood memories ride the sounds of water lapping the shore, even the scents of mud and fish.

  I take in a deep breath. I do love it here.

  Suddenly, Steve’s hand is on my shoulder and he’s plastered to my back, nuzzling my neck. “You are really quite stunning in this dress, you know. I bet you’d be pretty damn hot out of it.”

  I freeze. I don’t want this.

  Except.

  Maybe Alice is right? Maybe I just need to get out there, have fun? Maybe have sex just to have sex?

  Before the maybe litany ends, Steve’s hands cup my jaw and his mouth covers mine.

  I don’t stop him. I don’t know what to do. I didn’t really think I was his type. I did kind of lead him on, flirted with him. Danced with him all night. Maybe he expects me to sleep with him? But Will and I aren’t really broken up. This feels wrong.

  I step back to break the kiss, stumbling a little. “Listen, I⁠…”

  He takes my elbow to steady me, but when I flinch, he releases it. “Not a good bet?”

  “No. I mean, you’re a great fake date.” I flatten my palms against my sides. “But… I think I’m taken.”

  “You think?” One brow arches. “You’re not sure?”

  I take another step back. “I don’t know what’s going to happen between Will and me, but… I didn’t really feel anything, you know? I mean, of course you’re really attractive and all, but⁠—”

  “I got it.” He swipes a hand through the air. “And to be honest, I wasn’t really feeling it, either. But you can’t blame a guy for trying, right?”

  “I guess not.” I hold out my hand to shake his. “Friends?”

  He grabs it and twirls me. “Come on—just because we’re not going to bump uglies doesn’t mean we can’t dance, does it? Let’s hit it one more time before we call it a night.”

  I huff out a laugh. “All righty then.”

  He pulls me toward the ballroom. “But listen, your cousin Tina is pretty hot. Mind if I dance with her next?”

  I roll my eyes. How quickly he’s moved on. “Just don’t let anybody see you leave with her.”

  He opens the door for me and steps aside to let me pass. “No problem.”

  At least he plays the part of a gentleman well.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  BEEP. SUNDAY, 11:05 a.m.

  Hey Kate, it’s Will. It’s been a long weekend but I just want to let you know I’ve been thinking about you. And I miss you. I hope you’ll still come to the party at Deb and Pam’s today. There’ll be a ton of people there so I don’t know if we can, like, really talk. But I’d like to see you.

  KATE

  If Will hadn’t called, there’s no way I’d brave a party this afternoon. I’m exhausted and have had enough of big crowds for one weekend. But just the sound of his voice on the machine had my heart jumping up and down. I know it’s not going to be easy, but I think we have a chance to make things work.

  Pam waves metal tongs in greeting as I climb the back porch steps. “Kate! You’re here!” She’s manning two grills at once. “Hope you’re hungry. We’ve got plenty of food.”

  “Thanks, maybe in a bit.” I search the crowded back yard. “Is Will here?”

  “Oh, yeah.” She rolls fat sausages with the tongs and then grabs a giant metal spatula to flip burgers. “He’s definitely here somewhere. Maybe check inside?”

  “Thanks.” Weaving through the throng, I recognize a few faces, probably from the play. When I finally make it to the door, another woman tries to enter at the same time as me.

  “You go ahead,” she says. The near-empty glass in her hand and her slurred words suggest she’s been at the party for some time.

  I gesture to let her go first. “No, after you.”

  As she crosses the threshold, voices inside chorus, “Callie!”

  I freeze. Callie? Isn’t that the name of Will’s old girlfriend? Reminding myself that she’s in L.A., I thread my way through the kitchen and notice Deb beyond the group that’s exclaiming surprise at seeing this Callie as they hug greetings. And ask her about L.A. Suddenly my stomach doesn’t feel so good.

  Maybe this isn’t the best time to tell Will that I want us to be a couple.

  That maybe I love him.

  I turn to head back the way I came, but Deb catches me and pulls me i
n for a hug. “Kate! So glad you came.”

  When we step back from the hug, Deb’s face pales. Perhaps registering the fact that the infamous Callie is standing not five feet away?

  Before I can make an excuse to leave, she’s propelled me out of the kitchen, through the dining room to the living room, peppering me with questions all the way. “How was your trip? Was the wedding fun? Did you catch the bouquet? Did you get something to eat? Drink? Can I get you anything?”

  “No, I just came to catch up with Will.” The house is so full of people claustrophobia adds to the roil of my stomach. “I didn’t realize this was such a big party.”

  Deb sighs as she sinks into the couch. “Yeah, it seems to get bigger every year. But it’s fun. So, how are things?” She pats the cushion next to her. “Take a load off. He’s around somewhere.”

  As I perch on the couch, she puts her feet up on the coffee table. “Tell me about the wedding. I love a good wedding. I want to make a real wedding dress someday. I’ve done a few for shows. What was your cousin’s like? Empire? Princess?”

  I answer Deb’s seemingly endless list of questions about the wedding dress, the bridesmaids’ dresses and even the flowers. Finally, I’m able to wrap up the conversation.

  “I’m going to look for Will. If I don’t see him, I’ll call later.”

  “He’s had a long couple days—he worked on the film overnight again after helping out at the theater all day.” Her lips purse. “He might be taking a nap.”

  “Okay, I’ll check in his room.” When I stand, another guest instantly takes my spot on the couch. “See you later.”

  Paddling upstream through the crowd, I make my way down the hall. Holding my breath as I edge past a group of smokers, I finally arrive at Will’s door, which is closed.

  I knock softly. “Will?”

  The music is too loud to hear an answer. I carefully turn the knob and ease the door open, not wanting to wake him if he is sleeping.

  It’s dim enough that it takes a moment for my eyes to adjust. I slip inside. Just as I ease the door shut behind me, I hear a moan. A female-sounding moan. I squint. Bodies, not one but two, shift on the bed. My heart pounding, I step closer. Unfortunately, I can now see clearly. The picture is not a welcome one. Will’s on his back, his arm around a half-dressed woman. The beautiful blonde I’d politely ushered in the back door.