Sinister Cinnamon Buns

by J Lee Mitchell

  She’d just finished asking Orvis what he’d discovered when Andy opened the door. He gave her a questioning look as he entered the office, and Q’Bita lost her nerve.

  “Um, hold on a second. Andy’s just walked in, so maybe you should tell him.” Q’Bita handed him the receiver. “It’s Orvis.”

  Andy took the phone and shot her a raised eyebrow.

  “Hey, Orvis. What’s up?”

  Q’Bita could only hear one side of the conversation, and it was maddening.

  “Let me guess, COD was acute toxicity due to cyanide poisoning.”

  Andy paused to let Orvis answer.

  “Wait, are you sure? That can’t be right. We just got a confession ten minutes ago. Macie’s food stylist admitted to putting ground bitter almonds in food and wine Macie consumed a few hours before her death, so strychnine doesn’t make any sense.”

  At the mention of strychnine, all the air sucked out of Q’Bita’s chest and she made a small gasping noise.

  “You absolutely sure the cyanide levels were too low to be COD?”

  Andy was quiet as he finished listening to what Orvis had to say.

  “Oh, damn it to hell.”

  Andy kicked the corner of his desk with the toe of his boot. His outburst caused Q’Bita to jump a little in her seat.

  “Thanks for the additional info, Orvis. I’ll make some inquiries, then.”

  Andy hung up and gave Q’Bita a pained, serious look.

  “So I’m guessing you heard, the COD was strychnine poisoning.”

  Q’Bita couldn’t find her voice so she nodded in reply.

  “And I’m sure you also heard me telling Orvis that Patti Becker has confessed. Problem is, Patti’s version of events doesn’t match up with the COD. Orvis also told me this is the second case of strychnine poisoning in Castle Creek this week.”

  “That was an accident. Nana had nothing to do with it.”

  “Q’Bita, you need to tell me what happened with Rolfie.”

  Deep down, Q’Bita knew that Andy was just doing his job, but she didn’t like what he was implying.

  “That depends. Are you asking as a boyfriend or as the sheriff?” Her tone was a little harsher then she’d intended.

  A look of hurt briefly flickered across Andy’s face.

  “Wow, would my answer really make a difference in what you tell me?”

  “Like I said, what happened to Rolfie was an accident. He got into gopher bait in the barn. If Patti Becker has confessed, I don’t understand why you’re not satisfied with that.”

  Andy sat down in the chair opposite Q’Bita.

  “Trust me, sweetheart, I don’t believe your nana killed Macie Dixon, but my job requires me to follow the evidence, and right now there seems to be an overwhelming pile of it pointing at Liddy Lou.

  “Ms. Becker claims she only used a small amount of the ground bitter almonds, just enough to make Macie sick. That seems to coincide with what Orvis found. The cyanide levels weren’t even large enough to be considered a contributing factor.”

  “Does this mean you’re going to arrest my nana, then?”

  Andy sighed and slouched down in his chair.

  “No but I am going to have to bring her in for questioning.”

  Q’Bita stood, picked up her purse, and started towards the door to the parking lot. A million emotions were fighting for space in her mind, and she knew if she said another word it would probably be something she’d regret later.

  “Now, Q’Bita, don’t get yourself all worked up. Give me a few minutes to wrap things up here and I’ll take you back home.”

  “No, that’s okay. You do what you need to do, sheriff. In the meantime, at least one of us needs to focus on figuring out who the real killer is before my nana ends up taking the blame.”

  She didn’t wait for Andy to reply before opening the door to the parking lot and letting it slam shut behind her.

  Andy started after Q’Bita but stopped when his desk phone rang. He looked at the LED screen and felt his blood pressure rising. Red Dixon was the last person he wanted to deal with right now. Andy ran his fingers through his hair and let loose a string of obscenities. He couldn’t believe how quickly this day had turned to shit.

  Chapter 23

  As she made her way down Main Street, Q’Bita was still angry and so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she walked right past Rene without noticing him.

  “Um, hello. Earth to Q’Bita. What has your G-string all in a tangle, gorgeous?”

  The sound of Rene’s voice got her attention, and she turned to see where it was coming from. Her anger faded to amusement as she watched her brother-in-law prancing towards her. He was wearing a lemon chiffon tank top that was two sizes too small and floral-patterned Bermuda shorts in shades of coral and sea foam. They looked like he’d stolen the fabric from the couch cushions of a retirement home. He’d accessorized this hot mess with a pair of cork-heeled, wedge sandals with flowered toe thongs in bright peach, identical to the pair Q’Bita was wearing.

  As if the outfit wasn’t bad enough, he was carrying a baby blue, lace parasol in one hand and Rolfie in the other.

  As Rene drew closer, he held up the angry-looking feline for Q’Bita to see. Rolfie was wearing a spiked collar and a vest with the word KILLER spelled out across the chest in blood-red rhinestones.

  “Doesn’t my baby just look precious?” Rene squealed. “I thought he deserved a spa day and some retail therapy after all he’s been through. It’s a wonder he doesn’t need actual therapy after a near-death experience like that. What on earth was Liddy Lou thinking leaving poison laying around where Rolfie could get at it?”

  As usual, Rene’s voice projected like a Mr. Microphone.

  “Rene, not so loud. Nana has enough people suspecting her already. The last thing we need is to have everyone in town thinking she’s stockpiling poison.”

  Rene gave her an annoyed look.

  “Lord, Q’Bita, you’re starting to sound like Beecher. I know it was an accident, but I fail to understand why the rest of you don’t seem to think the near-death of a beloved family member is a tragedy.”

  Q’Bita could feel a massive headache starting to form behind her eyes.

  “Speaking of my brother, do you know where he is?”

  “He’s out at that horrid cabin, no doubt traipsing around the woods, letting every tick in the county infect him with Lyme’s disease or Ebola or God knows what. I swear sometimes he wants me to be a widow, which would be a travesty, because my perfect porcelain skin shouldn’t be concealed behind a black lace veil.”

  “Can you call him and get him back here for me? Something’s come up regarding Macie’s case, and I need to talk to him.”

  “Seriously? You want me to drag Beecher all the way back to town so you can chat when I’m right here? I’m not chopped liver, you know. If I were, Rolfie would have eaten me long ago.”

  Q’Bita’s headache was now a reality but she knew it was best to humor Rene rather than dismiss him when he got like this.

  “My apologies, your fabulousness. I didn’t mean to imply you would not be part of the conversation.”

  “Well, then, that’s better. Rolfie and I forgive you. Now entertain him while I call Beecher. Oh, and make sure to shield his eyes. He’s been through too much already this week and I don’t want to damage his retinas by overexposing him to UV rays. Besides, he doesn't have the cheek bones to pull off glasses.”

  Q’Bita stifled a laugh as people walking by gawked at Rene. He was a bit much for most folks in Castle Creek but that didn’t matter to her. She loved his drama and his eclectic sense of fashion, but most of all, she loved how much he loved her brother.

  She took a deep breath and scratched Rolfie between the ears. He nuzzled her chin, and she could feel her tension starting to drain.

  “Okay, boy,” she whispered to him. “You have to help me keep this drama queen focused until Beecher gets here. If we’re going to keep this family together, we h
ave a murder to solve.”

  Chapter 24

  Andy answered the phone and instantly regretted it.

  “Don’t bother with pleasantries, Hansen. The only thing I want to hear from you is that you’ve done your job and have Liddy Lou Cormier in custody.”

  “Hello, Red.”

  Andy pulled out his chair and sat down. The weight of the last few days finally sank into his bones as Red Dixon continued to chew his ass. After several more minutes of cussing and spitting, Red finally paused to take a breath.

  “Red, I assure you we’re following every possible lead in this case and will solve it as fast as we can.”

  “Well, you sure as hell can’t do that if you’re wasting your time taking false confessions from disgruntled employees. You need to get your head out of your ass, get over to the Red Herring Inn, and arrest Liddy Lou Cormier. If you can’t do your job, I’d be more than glad to ask my friends on the town council to relieve you and appoint a replacement who will.”

  Andy gritted his teeth and made a mental note to kick Chance’s ass for leaking details of the case to the Dixons.

  “That won’t be necessary, Red. I have every intention of questioning Liddy Lou Cormier before the end of the day.”

  “Questioning? There’s nothing to question, Hansen. I have it on very good authority my daughter’s cause of death was the same exact poison that almost killed that monstrosity the Blocks call a cat. That’s not a coincidence, that’s a smoking gun.”

  Andy tried to reason with Red but Red cut him off mid-sentence.

  “Now you listen to me, Hansen. If Liddy Lou Cormier isn’t in custody by the end of the day, I’m gonna shove a battalion of lawyers so far up your ass you couldn’t shit ‘em out even if you were doing a prune juice cleanse.”

  Andy took a deep breath and reminded himself Red wasn’t someone to take lightly even under ideal circumstances, and the last few days had been anything but ideal.

  “Red, I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now so I’m going to be the bigger man here and let that last bit slide, but you need to calm down and quit barking at me like I work for you, because I don’t. I will continue to work this case until it’s solved but I will not have you or anyone else tell me how to do my job. I will call you when we have any information worth sharing.”

  Andy hung up before Red could jump all over him again. He was about to get up and go rip Chance a new a-hole when he noticed the tablet on his desk. Q’Bita had apparently been making a list while she waited. Across the top in big block letters it read, Questions Andy Should Be Asking.

  Well, that’s not insulting at all, he thought to himself.

  He tore the list from the pad and shoved it in his pocket. Apparently Red Dixon wasn’t the only one who needed to be reminded he was still the sheriff and still in charge of this investigation.

  He yanked open the door to the bull pen and spotted Chance on his cell phone. Startled, the deputy stared back at him like a cat who’d been caught with one paw in the bird cage.

  “Damn it, Chance. Tell Red your ass is on the clock, and while it is, you take orders from me. I want you to get the hell off the phone and go book Patti Becker.”

  Chance told Red he’d call him back later and hung up.

  “Why the hell am I booking Patti Becker? We already know she didn’t kill Macie.”

  Andy stepped into the bull pen, slamming his office door behind him. Chance and Mike were looking at him like he might burst into flames at any second.

  “Okay, I’ve had enough shit to last me a life time today, so both of you need to cut the crap and start acting like you’re cops, not halfwits. I understand Patti Becker isn’t our killer, but she still admitted to poisoning Macie. In case you two idiots need a teachable moment, that’s a punishable crime.”

  “Jeez, Andy, you sound stressed. Maybe you should take a couple of days off and let us handle this case.”

  Chance’s arrogant smirk agitated Andy even more than his comment, and it took every ounce of self-restraint Andy had not to pull his gun and shoot Chance in the face.

  “Maybe I wouldn’t be so stressed if you weren’t leaking information to the Dixons every five minutes. Which, by the way, stops now. If it happens again, you’re suspended until this investigation is resolved, and if you think I’m kidding, just try me.”

  Andy didn’t wait for a reply before turning and slamming his office door behind him again.

  As Andy drove down Main Street, on his way out to the Red Herring Inn, he spotted Q’Bita and Rene. He pulled over and rolled down the passenger side window.

  “Q’Bita, can I have a word with you, please?”

  As Q’Bita approached the open window, Andy noticed she looked a little more relaxed than when she’d stormed out of his office. She was biting her lip like she always did when she was nervous. He thought it was cute, and he momentarily forgot why he’d called her over in the first place.

  “Business or pleasure?” she asked with a nervous chuckle.

  Andy reached into his pocket, pulled out the crumpled list, and handed it out the window to her.

  “I think you forgot something in my office. It looked important.”

  Q’Bita smoothed out the paper and her cheeks flushed.

  “Oh my God, Andy, I’m sorry. It’s not what it looks like.”

  “Really? ‘Cause it looks to me like Red Dixon isn’t the only person around here who thinks I’m not capable of solving this murder. I expected this from him, but honestly, coming from you… I gotta admit it stings, Q’Bita.”

  “I, I don’t know what to say. I never meant to imply you weren’t doing your job. I was only trying to help by doing some digging on my own.”

  “Q’Bita, we’ve been through this already. I need you to stay out of this and let me and my guys do our job. If your nana is innocent, then she doesn’t have anything to worry about. I’ll get to the bottom of this.”

  “If she’s innocent?” Andy could hear the hurt in Q’Bita’s voice. “So you do think she’s a suspect, then.”

  Andy didn’t want to hurt Q’Bita, but he knew he had to be honest with her about needing to question Liddy Lou.

  “I don’t want to think that, sweetheart, but the evidence is piling up, and right now a lot of it is pointing at your nana. I’m headed to your place now to ask her a few questions if you want to come along.”

  “I appreciate the offer, but I’m going to pass. I’m going to go see Kent Haskell, and I’ll have him give me a ride home. I think it’s best if he’s there sooner rather than later.”

  “Okay, then. I’ll see you when you get there, I guess.”

  Andy’s voice rose at the end like he was asking her a question but Q’Bita had nothing more to say so she turned back to Rene until Andy drove away.

  Chapter 25

  A few miles outside of town Andy’s phone rang again. Deep down he hoped it was Q’Bita calling to say she wasn’t as upset with him as it had seemed a few minutes ago, but with the day he was having it was more likely Red Dixon calling for round two.

  Andy pulled out his phone and was glad to see it was just Mike Collins.

  “Hey, Mike. What’s up?”

  “On a scale of one to ten, how calm are you right now, boss?”

  “Honestly, Mike, I’m about a seventeen in the wrong direction, but I have a feeling it’s only going to get worse as the day goes on.”

  “I guess you won’t be surprised then that I got some bad news for ya.”

  “Oh, joy,” Andy said as he pulled over to the side of the road. “Go ahead. Let’s hear it.”

  “You stormed out so fast I didn’t get a chance to tell you the Lab guys called. They were able to lift one set of prints off the note card, and they belonged to Macie Dixon.”

  “Damn it. Not the news I was hoping for,” Andy said.

  “Sorry to say it only gets worse from here. We finally got the security camera footage from the TV studio, and it clearly shows Liddy Lou Cormi
er entering the front door just before the cameras go down.”

  “What? You have to be shitting me. You mean to tell me Liddy Lou Cormier just waltzed in the front door with a basket full of poison cinnamon buns and didn’t even try to hide it from the cameras?”

  “Well, not exactly. When the cameras picked her up she didn’t have the basket. Chance figures she must have had the basket delivered earlier in the day and then stopped by to make sure Macie had taken the bait.”

  “It’s possible, I guess, but it still doesn’t add up. Liddy Lou Cormier is not a stupid woman, and I can’t believe she’d set out to kill Macie Dixon and make it so obvious.”

  “Well, you know what they say, boss. The best place to hide something is in plain sight. Could be she planned this whole thing to look like a set-up hoping we’d waste time trying to find a killer that didn’t exist.”

  “Christ, Mike, you’ve been spending too much time with Chance. I said she wasn’t stupid, I didn’t say she was a criminal mastermind. Is it safe to assume Chance has already shared this info with Red?”

  Mike hesitated but eventually confirmed what Andy already suspected.

  “Well, that’s just frickin’ fantastic. The next person who releases details to anyone not employed by this department is going to be picking up trash and directing traffic permanently. Make sure you pass that along to Chance when you get off the phone. Have him call me if he needs help comprehending any of the big words.”

  Andy could hear Mike nervously drumming his fingers on the desk and knew he’d made his point to at least one of his deputies.

  “I’m headed out to the Red Herring Inn now to question Liddy Lou, so we’ll see what she has to say about all this.”

  “There’s one more thing. The Lab guys narrowed down the printer used for the note card. It’s an Epson Expression Premium XP-640 Small-in-One All-in-One. I did some digging and found out Herschel Vance carries them in The Paper Box and only sold three since he started carrying them. All three were sold to Tom Block a few months ago.”