Preacher Man

by r. a. Ben Miller

Chapter 41; Goodbye

  The morning of the fourteenth day dawned warm and cloudy. Zeer had heard nothing from Tristan. He was sitting at a small table on the steps of the Rectory having his morning cuppa. He held the tiny baby Trisie in his large, soft hands. He looked at the sky and spoke to the baby, “I hope your Auntie Trisie gets here in time for the service.” The baby just drooled on his sleeve.

  Just then, the shoulder radio of the Guardian standing behind him crackled to life, “Put the Prince on your unit!”

  The young soldier snatched the handset loose and spoke into it, “Roger that!” and he handed the handset to the King, “Your Majesty!”

  “Thankee, son. Hello?”

  “This is Space Port Command, Your Majesty! We’ve just been asked to clear the Empra’s Yacht for descent to St. Paddy’s Square.”

  “And you said…”

  “Nothing. I wanted to ask you.”

  “And now you’re gonna say?”

  “Yes! Of course! I will clear them now!”

  “Roger that! Have them land on the newly cleared area just north of the Rectory. Tell them I will meet them there.”

  “By Your Command, Sire!”

  A few ticks later, a humming of antigrav pods from the bottom of the yatch filled the square and echoed off the buildings as they flew slowly over the burial boat. Zeer waited until the space boat had settled in its shaded glade, then moved forward as the nearest portal irised open. Guardians came out and formed the usual defensive perimeter. Zeer moved past them, so used to their maneuvers that he hardly noticed them at all.

  The first passenger to wind herself out of the tiny portal was Tristan. Zeer looked inquisitively at her. “Explain, yer self, Madame?”

  She answered, “I was hijacked…that’s all I have to say about the matter.”

  “Hijacked is it?”

  “Look, you may be my brother, but he is my boss! And, he’s kinda the EMPRA!”

  “I see…where’s me speeder?”

  “It’s fine.”

  “I dinna ask thee that!”

  “Okay, okay! It’s here! Your precious flyer is in the hold of the transport freighter that brought us’ns over here from Tarra. It is being flown down as we speak by your loyal Captain.”

  “And your mission?”

  “My sister is in the hold of this yacht. The Empra…”

  “Does zumone wish to zpeak for me…or to me?”

  The Empra had snuck up behind Tris. Zeer and Tristan dropped to one knee. Zeer kissed his proffered ring, “Your Majesty…it is Grand ta see thee again.”

  “I am alwayz glad to zee you az well, your Gwaze. You didn’t zink I would mizz za bezt party of the zentury, did you?”

  “A sad party, I’m afraid.”

  “Zadnezz and happinezz are often two zidez of za zame coin, sez za Word.”

  “Aye…Thee has brightened up it up for me.”

  “Go on, yer Majesty, tell him what ya told me about little Tani, please?”

  “I zed zat while I did not agwee wiz it, I understood za zentiment. Zinze I waz coming here anyway, I bwought your dead queen along for za ride.”

  Paris had come up behind Zeer. Nana T. was holding a hand of two shy princes. Three nurse maids each had one brand new princess in arms. Paris took her turn kissing the ring, “Your Majesty…”

  “I zee zat your birthing waz zuccezzful. Fazzer, your personal flock growz.”

  “Yes, I am truly blessed, Sire.

  A small crowd had exited the vessel while Zeer was introducing his daughters to their Empra, which the baby girls slept through. Zeer turned his head to look at them when a giant figure wound its way out of the tiny portal. Zeer launched himself at the man who caught him easily and applied a bear hug worthy of a Tritonian mate. “Jim…Jim…you came!”

  Jim put him down, “What and miss the chance to beat you at three knuckle poker again?”

  “Oh, like you ever did that!” Jim ignored him as he swung Paris into a hug like a small child. She squealed as he nuzzled her neck. Zeer laughed, “Hey, watch that stuff little brother, she’s about ta be a queen don’t ya know!”

  Jim put her down gently and dropped to a knee, “I am truly sorry, yer Majesty!”

  “Git up ya silly buzzgwump. I am still a woman, and I do appreciate that somebody around here notices.”

  Jim’s face lost all its seriousness, “Good! I wasn’t really all that sorry anyway.” They all laughed. “Hey, before I fergit, Ka-lo-Prim sends her best. She could not bring herself to be the first Askirab in space.”

  “I understand, I guess.”

  Sheel worked her way out the portal looking hugely pregnant. “A chair…I must have a chair.” One of the nurses from the infirmary had been warned, and she appeared with an anti-grav chair that Sheel quickly sat in. “There…now, get over here, King or Prince, or whatever ya are!”

  Zeer knelt in front of the chair. For a long moment, they held each other in joy and sadness mixed beyond words. “I had ta come fer a proper buryin’ of me baby sis. And ta see thee crowned.”

  “You are most welcome, Little Sister. What do yer parents say?”

  “My parents are not moved. They will not come.”

  Zeer was distracted for a moment. An antigrav sled bearing a coffin draped in the gold and green of Shannon’s flagship was pushed out onto the landing area. Admiral Beor took control of her shipmate from the yacht captain with an exchange of salutes. Her burial detail moved the sled and its contents next to Shannon on the ship. She removed the MacTarn tartan from her own shoulder and laid it across the coffin. Zeer noticed that they had already moved flowers and sticks to make room. Flowers were then placed over Tani’s coffin as well but made sure the tartan was visible at all times.

  He was talking to Sheel, but watching the burial detail. A single tear dripped down his left cheek into his beard. “That’s alright, ma dear,” he said softly, “we’ll have Trevor and Janni take lots of viddy. Look at all the other channels here as well. This bit of news will be inescapable now that His Highness is here. Maybe they can watch it later when they recover a bit.”

  “Thankee, Father.”

  “Ahem!”

  Zeer turned back to the Empra, “Your Gwaze, I have more good newz.”

  “Do tell, Sire.”

  “We located the remains of your grandfather.” Another clear plasteel coffer came out the portal on a sled. “I am afraid that he is only dressed in prison garb.”

  “In prison gray or the gold and emerald, he’s still my King. He’s still the one who beat the bloody UKP and broke the yoke of two centuries of hell.”

  Zeer walked over to the coffin. It only held bones, but somehow, he knew they were the right ones. He took off the shoulder tartan that attached his sword to his belt. He drew the gold and emerald sword and laid them both on the cover of the coffin. “Grampa…we did it!”

  He raised the sword for a second, “Sound the pipes…the King has come home!” Then, he laid the sword on top of the casket. Immediately, the drummer called the new cadence for Shannon’s March. King Shannon II was escorted three times around St. Patrick’s Square. Zeer insisted on pushing the coffin himself with Paris and the kits coming next. The drummer and the two pipers made the next row. The Empra came next, followed by Tris pushing Sheel and Jim holding Sheel’s hand.

  Then, the drummer began the sad cadence of the fugue. More slowly, the casket was position next to the other two. He was ready now to join his grandson on their last journey. Again, it was two more times around the whole square with the bagpipes blaring first a dirge, then a reel and again a dirge.

  More flowers had been moved to make room for the third coffer. They were replaced with sad abndon. Father Paul lead prayers and threw holy water on all three coffins. Cameras were everywhere. Every news crew on the planet was aimed in all directions, trying to get a fresh angle or some kind of scoop on the others. Zeer lead them all into the great hall of the Rectory. Father Paul’s staff had cooked up a me
al for all. The Empra’s chef had added dishes for the Empra to eat. After supper, the Empra retired to his yacht and the irises closed.

  The men went for a walk. “Aint it beautiful here, Jimmy, me boy?”

  “Frankly, Father, it’s kinda cold here. It’s odd, the nights here are warmer to me than the days.”

  “Aye, well tough it out one more day, will ya?”

  “Only for you, Preacher man, only for you.” Father Paul joined them in a rousing game of Three Knuckle Poker. They were on the third hand when a Guardian touched Zeer’s shoulder, “Yes, my son?”

  “Space Port Command notifies us that the Paronese Royal Vessel, the Diet Wa, is entering Emerish space and wishes to debark several passengers.”

  “Let me have your hand set, son!”

  Zeer spoke into the handset, “Command?”

  “Aye, your Grace?”

  “Is the Captain of my flyer still about?”

  “Yes, Sir. He’s just finished his landing report.”

  “Put him on.”

  His Captain’s voice took over, “Yes, your Majesty?”

  “Bill, I want you to hard dock with the Diet Wa and bring me the King and his guests.”

  “Aye, aye, Sir!”

  “I think there’s still room here behind the Yacht on the square if you do a straight down drop with anti grav.”

  “Roger that!”

  “See ya soon!”

  Within a few ticks, Zeer’s flyer was dropping out of an evening sky onto the green space behind the Rectory. Everyone went to meet Praseer. Hugs and greetings were exchanged. Even Zopha, whom Paris had asked Praseer to bring, was there. Zo and Fila had become fast friends on the trip over. Paris rushed to hug her friend, “Now you’ll see my grand adventure, Zoie!”

  “I certainly will!”

  “Come…” She took Zo’s paw in one of hers and Fila’s tiny paw in the other, “Let me show you the most beautiful girls in the galaxy.” The girls went to look at Paris’s new kits, chattering away. Tristan pushed Sheel right along.

  The men went back to their game, now four handed. “Well, there’s a grand entrance fer ya, ma wee King!” said Zeer over his cards.

  “I do try!” They all laughed and trash talked each other through many hands. Vast sums of worthless UKP currency from the colonial days was wagered lost and won. These men had Verdollium, they didn’t need money. The Empra has agreed to let 1 to 2 gram chips out so as not to gut the Quallite based economy until it all ran out. Credits were not an issue here, fun was. Many pints of local brew were shared. A pint of bitters was put on each casket.

  The group stayed up until near dawn the next morning. Father Paul stood up, “My good wife will wonder what’s come over me. I had best see to breakfast.”

  All who knew the Empra’s habits knew that he would not be seen until the third arn of the morning. Morgen Tide was a service that he always shared on saved viddy discs. Just then, he returned followed by the grim face of Mrs. MacTarn. They were both carrying huge trays.

  “Breakfast is served, ya slug a beds!” she said sternly.

  Zeer was feeling his cups, “Why, Sarah, me dear cousin, I’ll have ya know, I’ve na been ta bed this night!”

  “Oh, so it’s card sharps ya are, is it? Teachin’ ma wee Paulie new bad habits.”

  Paulie blushed, “Now, sarah, me darlin…” he burped.

  “Oh, Ma’am, he is, after all, a true MacTarn. He were born with them.” And they all burst out laughing. She tried, but her faced cracked. She hugged Zeer, “Oh, yer Grace! It’s sa good ta see ya smile again.”

  He took a piece of bacon, “It’s this grand breakfast what done it, sure as I’m born!”

  “Me too…”

  “Me too…”

  She went back into the house waving her arms, “Yer all daft, ya are! Men of cloth and crown drinkin’ and card sharpin’ right here on Main Street!” The men roared with laughter behind her.

  Zeer stood as best he could, raised his mug, “Ta me friends who helped me put on the best damned wake fer Shanny and his Queen and me blessed Grampa. Though they cost us many a friend, he was me brudder, and I love him still!” They all drank and threw their mugs onto the ship. The mugs didn’t break because of the padding of flowers. They returned to their breakfast.

  They retired to their rooms for a short nap before the festivities at Sundown. Zeer snuggled up to his warm wife. She tried to get away, “Ya beast! Ya smell of drink and smoke…dinna be bringin’ that mess ta this bed.”

  “Ohhh, Par…it was a wee wake fer me brudder…” and he drifted off to sleep.

  She made him comfortable and went off to check the kittens. They were all asleep. The house was quiet. She went to the kitchen where she found Mrs. T. and Mrs. MacTarn cooking and cleaning, chattering like old friends.

  “Mornin’, ladies.”

  “Ahhh, yer Grace, could I interest ya in a spot of tay and a biscuit?”

  “That sounds lovely. Did the boys leave any meat?”

  “Yes, I hid some fer ya…I’ll get it now, luv.”

  She watched the morning viddies and broke her fast. Then, she went up to find her friends. The girls had fallen asleep rocking the princesses. She had covered them where they were and left them there. As she opened the door, Zo was stretching and Fila was rocking Tani and Sheel.

  She beamed, “I cant wait til I have some of my own.”

  “I pray thee have all that thee wishes.”

  “From your lips…” she crossed her heart.

  “I imagine that Armand is asleep in your rooms. The daft bats just broke up their little card game half an arn ago.”

  Her face filled with love just to think of her new husband, “Let him be. This is his first state visit. He’ll have to learn to pace himself some day.”

  “Zoie, you never made it to your room, but you can take Fila with you. You girls can get a shower and fresh clothes at the Unmarried Sisters Dorm down on the third floor. I’ll show ya the way. There’s a good breakfast in the kitchen when you are done.”

  “Good idea. I’ll stop at our room and get some clothes on the way. I’m sure the ‘men’ will sleep the day away.”

  “Say, I’ve an idea. Let’s get Captain Fran ta take us over the Blue Mountain ta see ma wee castle. The kits’ll be fine fer an arn or two. Zeer’s havin’ it rebuilt from the original stones.”

  Mrs. MacTarn pitched in, “I’ll make yas a good lunch ta take with.”

  “Oh, no, ma sweet cousin, thee must come with us. We are family one and all. It’s your castle, too. I’ll make darn sure of that.” And so they did. All the women folk, who had slept as sane people should, went for an afternoon’s jaunt to shake the sadness from their day.

  An arn before sunset, they began to gather in the Great Hall of the Rectory. After a good day’s sleep, the boys looked none the worse for wear for all their partying the night before. “Evidence of a mis-spent life sez I,” Mrs. MacTarn chuckled. She hooked her thumb at her husband, “Ma wee Paulie does not have yer experience. He’s had to hit the bromides ta recover.”

  Zeer put his arm on his cousin’s shoulder, “Sorry, old man, ye’ll feel better in a day or two.” They both chuckled.

  “Are ya up fer these doin’s?”

  “I’d a thought you’d be leading, yer Grace.”

  “No, ma dear cousin. Yesterday was me last day as a priest. Today, I lead the aggrieved family of mourners. Tamorra, I will be King.”

  “Oh…” Paul said in a small voice.

  “I had meant ta ask ya different than this, but we kinda got droonk last night and now, I’m out of time.”

  “What?”

  “My last act as the Father Visitor was to choose my Royal Cardinal. I already settled this with the Empra. He said it was mine ta call. I call you, my cousin.”

  “Call me ta what?”

  “Father Paul Aloowishus MacTarn, will thee serve?” He took off his own scarlet ring and held it out.

  He looked at Pari
s, “Babe, still got the red hat?”

  “Yes! Yes I do.” She ran off to find it.

  “Paulie, what do thee say?”

  Paul looked at his wife, “Mother?”

  She huffed to keep from crying, “What are ya daft, man? Take the man’s offer. Ye’ll never get a ruby from me!” They all laughed.

  Zeer turned to her, “There’s a ruby ring in it fer thee as well, ma sweet Sarah Agatha MacTarn. To fill this post requires a well yoked team. Will thee serve as well?”

  She fell to her knees. Paul knelt beside her. Paris returned with the two scarlet stoles and the one Scarlet headpiece. Together, they placed their hands on the two bowed heads and lead them through the dedication. They helped the two stunned people to their feet and hugged them. Zeer put his ring and the Scarlet stole and hat on Paul. Paris gave her ring to Sarah.

  When the Empra arrived, Zeer said, “All present and accounted for, Sire. Shall we begin?”

  “Aye…” his voice had gotten soft. Paris took his hand. Zac took his other. Shannon V took his mother’s free hand.

  Cardinal Paul lead them out. A crowd waited in the Square, filling every inch. Someone had taken off the clear covers and cleaned all the empty glassware out of the boat. The three bodies were open to the air. Each head bore a small crown. The sickly sweet smell of death hung over the crowd. The family took positions in the front row of the crowd around the boat. The green silk cloth was now a sail with the golden dragon on a green background billowing in the wind.

  The new Cardinal went to the dragon carved prow. In a full clear voice, he began to sing the Song of Passage. Hundreds of voices joined his. When the song was done, he sprinkled holy water on the boat, “From a handful of dust and ash, I made thee, sayeth the Word. To ashes and dust ye will return…”

  Without another word, he turned and headed for the waterfront. The drum took up the slow cadence and the pipes wailed their plaintive tune. The family fell in behind the musicians. Without a word every able-bodied person reached out and the boat was lifted. As one person, the crowd followed the Master’s Cross to the shore of the Great Western Sea. His people’s final act of love was to carry the King’s boat down to the waterfront. Flowers fell off and were picked up by people farther back in the crowd. The people in the front of the boat walked into the water up to their armpits to keep the boat even.

  The people with flowers threw them back onto the boat. Someone handed Zeer a torch. He looked at the Exchequer. The old man pounded his staff on the ground three times, “The King is dead! Long live the King! May his light burn forever in our hearts!”

  Zeer threw the torch onto the pile of dried flowers. The dried sticks and flowers ignited instantly. The heat from the growing fire filled the sail. The boat surged forward into the setting sun. When the sun had set, only a tiny fire could be seen near the horizon.

  Zeer whispered, “Sail on, Good Kings, sail on!”

  “Omain,” whispered the crowd.

  Full night had fallen when the light went out. The crowd turned and went their various ways home. No one spoke. Hands reached out shake Zeer’s or to just touch his sleeve. Women hugged him briefly and ran off. With one last look out to sea, Zeer kissed his wife on the cheek, “Shall we head in, ma sweets, tamorra is a big day.”

  Chapter 42; Long Live the King

  Zeer was used to rising early. He sat, as was his custom, in the gray half light before dawn, and enjoyed a sweet cuppa tay. Sheel came and sat with him, “Top o the mornin’, Sissy.”

  “Good mornin’ yerself, Padre.”

  “Just like old times, eh?”

  “I miss them.”

  “We’ll come see ya when the bairn is born.”

  “If you quit the cloth, who’ll gather me young’uns?”

  “I’ll still come fer that, Little Sister.”

  “Thanks, Father.”

  Jim walked up, handed a cup to Sheel and sat down across the table, “I heard that, old man. I’ll be holding ya to it.”

  “Just let us know, and we’ll be on the next flyer. I got a right speedy one if Tris’s stories hold up.”

  They joined the others for Paul’s first Morgen Tide as Cardinal. He looked nervous and uncertain for a tick, but as soon as he began to pray, he threw himself into the beauty of the songs and prayers, and the service was spectacular. By the final ‘Omain’, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

  Zeer and Paris were waiting in the narthex just outside the chapel. The drummer began the cadence. The pipes broke into Emerand Ga Braugh, the fighting tune of the Clan MacTarn. Hand in hand, they strolled to the front of the church, stopping to shake a hand or exchange a hug. Flowers were thrown and covered the path infront of them. Applause rocked the church as they got to the front, turned and bowed. They then turned and faced the Cardinal and the Empra. They kneeled together.

  Paul prayed and sang. As his brother had done two weeks before, Zeer and then Paris repeated the oaths of the Banns of Dedication. The Empra placed the crowns upon each head and kissed them each on both cheeks. They kissed each other and stood to face their people. Zeer raised the emerald Sword and the Cathedral roared. The crowd outside watching on big screens echoed the cheers of a freed people.

  This time, Janni and Trevor were in the Royal box in the first balcony above the center aisle. All the other newsies were on the ground floor. Trevor was supposedly in charge of the feed out to the crowd in the Square, but he had jury rigged a connection to his broadcast network, and they were live galaxy wide.

  The parties were held in every great hall throughout the area. The Empra went to the one at the Emerald Castle. At midnight, he excused himself and lifted off for home. Zeer, Paris, and friends made the rounds for the week or so to all the parties. A week later, Praseer took the rest of his haggard friends onto his vessel for a slow recovering ride home.

  THE END ####

  And now, the story of free Emerand can begin!

  Thank You for reading the “Secrets of the Preacher Man”

 

  Book 1; Ready Freddy and The Great Pop Bottle Caper, 1977

  Book 2; Ready Freddy and the Baby Snatchers1977

  Book 3; Ready Freddy and the Sandy Creek Mystery1978

  Book 4; Ready Freddy and the Kissing Stones2011

  Chasing the Jewelled Throne, 1989, 2011

  The Arms of the Watcher, 1995, 2011

  The Secrets of The Preacher Man, 1989, 2011

  Long As I’m Alive Gonna Lay That Boogie Down (My Life in Lyrics) 2012