Yule Log Eulogy

by Addison Moore

  “Well, there’s that.” Carlotta slaps her hands together as if she were washing herself of them. “All in a day’s work. Just you wait, Lottie. Being nice to the Canellis is going to pay off in spades.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t need the Canellis interfering in my life. I’ve got you for that.”

  We drive back to Honey Hollow, dropping Carlotta off at Nell’s. The plumbing issues have finally gotten under control. And, come next month, I’ll help Carlotta renovate the water damage.

  Finally, we pull up to Country Cottage Lane, and Everett pulls up alongside Noah’s cabin. Noah’s truck is in the driveway, and the lights are all on. I can even see the fire lit from the living room window.

  “What are you doing?” I ask. “I live right over there.” I point across the street.

  His brows dip. “But you belong here. Noah thinks you’re married, that you’re having his baby. The two of you are together, remember? What you and I just incurred was nothing more than an arrangement.” He picks up my hand. “You have to promise me, Lemon, nothing changes between us.”

  A heavy breath expels from me. “Nothing changes, Everett.” And every word feels like a lie—something I’ve grown to be an expert at in the last month alone.

  He kisses the back of my hand, and I run out of the car and into Noah’s house where he holds me by the fire.

  Just like that, everything is right back the way it was, and yet nothing is the same.

  Chapter 22

  Christmas Eve is finally upon us.

  I’ve baked my fingers to the bone trying to fill all of the orders for pies—apple, pumpkin, and pecan—not to mention the thousands of Yule logs that were flying out of the Cutie Pie Bakery and Cakery faster than any poltergeist I have ever met.

  All day I’ve been ruminating on the events of the past month. Charlie was arrested and charged with two counts of murder, but Everett said Isabelle’s murder would be heavily contested. And in a strange turn of events, I asked Esmerelda if she was open to managing the Maple Meadows Lodge, and she gave an enthusiastic yes. So the cursed heiress’s cold case is cold no more, and the case of the missing manager was solved much more amicably.

  I try my best to shake Charlie and the Rosenbergs out of my mind, right along with everyone who lives in their orbit. It’s Christmas Eve, and I plan on being present in every single way. It’s my favorite holiday, my favorite time of year, and I’m lucky enough to spend it with all of my favorite people.

  My mother is hosting Christmas Eve at the B&B, and as per usual she’s extended the invitation to close friends and family as well. The conservatory is gorgeous tonight, simply lavish with every whimsical holiday touch one could imagine. From the stunning Victorian style decorated tree to the lush, fresh garland lacing the room.

  Mayor Nash and Carlotta are here. My half-siblings, Kelleth, Aspen, and Finn, are dressed in their holiday finery. Finn brought Britney, Noah’s ex-wife, and she looks stunning in a fitted red sock she’s squeezed over the body. But then, she does work hard to maintain her figure. I don’t blame her one bit for wanting to show it off.

  Mom is chatting with Becca, Keelie’s mother, and Chrissy Nash and her date, Flip. He looks so nice and normal, it makes me cringe when Topper goes over to join them with his fake tan and his fake teeth and his fake affection for my mother. He’s trouble and a pervert to boot. I just wish I could get my mother to see that.

  Meg and Hook are laughing away with Lainey and Forest. Lainey has her hand protectively on her belly, and I’m so happy for her I could cry. Keelie is sitting with Bear, and they’ve been whispering amongst themselves all night. Both Naomi and Lily are pawing over Alex, although only Naomi gets the privilege of holding his hand. I think I’m going to insist Noah put an end to this farce soon. I can no longer stand to watch.

  Speaking of things I cannot stand to watch, Cressida has glued herself to Everett’s side. She still believes she’s in the running for the future Mrs. Essex Baxter.

  Boy, will she be in for a rude awakening come New Year’s Day when he doesn’t take her up on her matrimonial offer. And, of course, Cormack is doing her best to assault Noah while Noah and Suze carry on a conversation. Alex joins their circle as Lily and Naomi migrate to Keelie.

  The party is already winding down. Dinner was superb, and my Yule logs and pies were a hit. Everything went exactly how it was supposed to go, and now there is one more thing that is supposed to happen tonight, and that’s exactly why I’m in the corner trying to collect my thoughts. Noah received a clean bill of health yesterday from the doctor. I waited to call the doctor myself this morning, and she assured me he could handle anything—there was no news jarring enough that could give him a nasty setback. And so, tonight, after we leave all the fanfare and magic of this Christmas Eve party, I’m going to tell Noah the truth about the baby and about our marriage. I’m not, however, going to breathe a word about what happened in Fallbrook a few days ago.

  No. Everett and I will have one more secret—one that I’m not sure I ever want to share.

  Carlotta strides up just as Greer Giles and Winslow float on over.

  “Why the sour face?” Carlotta twists her lips as if she were the one sucking on a lemon.

  “It’s time to pull the plug on Noah’s parade. The doctor says he can handle the news—you know, the baby, the marriage.”

  Both Greer and Winslow exchange a grimace.

  “I’d hate to be you, Lottie.” Greer shudders.

  Winslow shakes his head. “Noah is a nice guy from what I can gather. He’ll understand. Sometimes we need to do things for those we love that don’t always sit well with us.”

  Carlotta nods. “It was for his health, Lottie. He would have kicked the bucket if he knew the truth.”

  I tip my ear her way, fully expecting Carlotta to throw in a jab about my marriage to Everett, but she wisely refrains. And I’m glad about it, too. I’ve threatened her within an inch of her life, and she is well aware of the fact I’ll have her haunting these halls in no time if she breathes a word.

  Little Lea comes over and wraps her ghostly arms around my hips with Thirteen sauntering dutifully by her side.

  Lea grunts, “I’m glad you don’t have a stupid baby inside you, Lottie. I’m glad it was all a ruse.”

  Greer yanks her back. “Lea, babies are wonderful. You used to be a baby yourself once.”

  “And I was terrible at it.” She scowls as her long hair falls back over her face. “Merry Christmas, Lottie. You deserve a good one.”

  Thirteen jumps up, and I catch him in my arms as his black fur sparkles like supernatural onyx stars.

  “I echo the sentiment. Merry Christmas, Lottie. I do wish you well. How about we start the year without stumbling upon a body? The last find sounded so particularly grisly, and during the most festive time of year.”

  “I agree.” I give him a quick scratch between the ears. “But I can’t seem to help it. Hey? You should all stop by my place tomorrow night and I’ll throw us a little Christmas party of our own. Noah and Everett won’t mind the extra company.” I drop a kiss over Thirteen’s fuzzy forehead. “And that way you could hang out with my sweet cats. I think they’re really starting to sense when there’s a supernatural presence around.”

  “We’ll all be there,” Greer says with an easy smile, her teeth glowing like miniature moons. “Have you figured out how to get food in us yet? It’s not fair the new ghosts will get to have all the fun. We need to fix this.”

  “I agree.” Winslow nods. “You need to speak to the higher-ups.”

  “I don’t know any higher-ups.”

  Carlotta snaps her fingers. “We’ll hit up another transmundane meeting. I hear they’re due for a big convention in New York in a few weeks. We’ll make a girls’ weekend out of it. There’s nothing like winter in the city.”

  “There is when it’s twenty below.” I think about it for a moment. “Okay, I’ll consider it. Give me the details once you get them.”

&nbs
p; Noah heads this way, his smile expanding with every step he takes. He’s so gorgeous tonight, with his dark suit and his eyes shining the exact shade of the evergreen my mother has in the corner.

  “That was a great dinner and an even better dessert,” he says, leaning in and brushing a sweet kiss over my lips.

  “I concur.”

  I look up to find Everett nodding my way.

  Mom and her friends saunter over, along with Suze and Mayor Nash.

  “Oh, Lottie, I just heard the best news.” Mom presses a hand to her chest. “The fire department is hosting an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast to raise funds for the community center. And no offense to any of the chefs at the Honey Pot, but you just have to make them yourself. No one makes pancakes as soft and fluffy and light as you do. Your recipe alone will garner ten times the amount in sales as anyone else’s.”

  “It would be an honor. Of course, I’ll do it.”

  The small crowd around me breaks out into a cheer.

  Mayor Nash leans in. “I know your father would appreciate you helping out the organization he loved so much.”

  My heart swells and warms hearing Mayor Nash acknowledge the fact so openly that Joseph Lemon was my father. Not that he ever denied it, or said otherwise, but I think I needed to hear that.

  “Thank you for that,” I tell him.

  Suze struts over in low practical heels, a dark pantsuit, and a long silver scarf.

  “What’s this?” Her eyes widen a notch, and I won’t lie—I’m afraid of the woman in general, but with her eyes widening to new heights, it darn right spears the fear of the devil in me. “I just heard a little rumor, Lottie. Maybe you’d like to confirm whether or not it’s true.”

  Now it’s my eyes widening. I glance behind her to the spot she just came from and find Cressida glaring at me through slotted lids, a wicked smile curling on her lips.

  Oh God. What does she know?

  I shake my head as the crowd grows around us.

  Meg strides up, chest out, chin out, her own eyes hard as flint.

  “Just say the word, Lot, and I’ll throw her out on her ear.” Meg doesn’t miss a beat as far as imposing the threat.

  Noah flinches. “That’s my mother, Meg. Lottie would never throw out her mother-in-law.”

  “No, I wouldn’t.” I shake my head pleadingly to Suze. “Let’s not do this.”

  Suze opens her mouth to say something just as Keelie comes over waving her arms. It’s a sad moment when everyone in the room is in on your lies—or most of them anyway—and everyone in the room is about to see you splatter emotionally all over the walls because of them.

  “I’ve got news!” Keelie shouts while holding a hand out to Suze as if to stop her from ruining my life—although, I’m pretty sure I’ve done that myself. “Big news!” Keelie pulls Bear in close. “Mom? Naomi? I hope you won’t get mad that I’ve already told Dad, but Bear and I are about to have a baby.”

  The room breaks out into a loud congratulatory cry, and I dive-bomb over my best friend with a hug.

  “Keelie! How could you keep something like this from me?”

  She blinks back tears as her mascara begins to clot to the sides of her eyes. “I wanted to tell you, to tell all of you, but I wanted it to be special.”

  My heart breaks at the thought of Keelie feeling as if she had to blurt out the news to protect me.

  She shakes her head my way as if to contest it. “This is special, Lottie. Getting to share it with all of you is perfection.”

  “Congratulations.” I pull both her and Bear into a warm embrace.

  Noah shakes Bear’s hand. “It looks as if our children are going to grow up together.”

  This is usually the part where I would say I wouldn’t want it any other way, but I can’t seem to formulate the words. Not another lie seems able to escape my lips.

  Suze steps forward. Her short blonde hair is flipped in a solid form to the side of her head like the wing of a dove.

  “Oh my God, you are a liar.” She shakes her head, her voice rising to dangerous octaves. “Your mother-in-law isn’t even in the room.” Her eyes bulge, as do the veins in her neck. “Once this baby is born, I demand a paternity test.”

  I inch back, thoroughly confused and horrified as to what might come from her lips next.

  “Hey”—Noah barks her way as he holds a hand up—“nobody talks to my wife that way. Apologize. It’s Christmas, for goodness’ sake.”

  Suze’s entire body shakes, and her face is turning every shade of crimson.

  “Tell him. You’re not his wife, Lottie. Tell him the baby isn’t his either, and I’m betting it’s not. You’re a floozy and a two-timer, and I demand you stay far away from either of my sons.”

  My heart pulsates so fast and hard it’s reverberating right through my ears.

  Noah gives my fingers a tug. “Tell her the baby is mine.”

  My mouth opens and a dull croak comes out, and I watch in horror as his eyes widen.

  “Noah, I can explain.”

  He lets out a heavy breath. “It’s Everett’s child.” He hangs his head as he nods. “Why would you tell me it’s mine?”

  “Noah”—I shake my head, already aching for him to understand—“I’m sorry, Noah. There is no baby. It was just a big—”

  Suze steps forward, eyes ready to torpedo right out of her head.

  “What?” she thunders so loud, even the ghosts amongst us shiver in fear. “You lied about carrying my son’s child? You lied about having a child? Do you realize how many women suffer with infertility issues? Telling someone you’re having a child is not a joke.”

  “That’s not what happened. I—”

  “I don’t want to hear it!” she riots. “May a curse fall upon you, Lottie Lemon, for deceiving my son so despicably!”

  “A curse?” My hand floats to my chest.

  Cormack pops up. “She could do it, too, Lola. She’s a real witch.”

  Suze snarls, “May you never have children. May you forever be barren.”

  “No.” I shake my head. “Noah, I wasn’t trying to deceive you. I thought I was pregnant, but it was Lainey’s test I was looking at. Only, I didn’t know it at the time, and when you woke up last month, the doctor said I couldn’t share any jarring news with you, and I wasn’t about to tell you that there was no baby, that our marriage had been annulled.” My hand slaps over my mouth.

  Kill me.

  Noah’s eyes enlarge with shock, then with a pain that a human should never have to endure. His gaze falls to the floor as he scratches the back of his neck.

  “Our marriage, Lottie?” He swallows hard as he looks up at me. “That, too?”

  I press my lips tight and give a single nod. “Everett’s friend came through a little early.”

  He shoots a look to his old stepbrother. “I’m sure he did.”

  Suze growls over at me once again, “And that isn’t the worst part, is it? Tell him the rest. Tell him whose wife you really are.”

  A dagger to the chest would have been less painful.

  I shake my head at her in disbelief. “Who told you all this?”

  Her lips cinch with the idea of a smile. “News travels fast in the social circles I run in. We have our sources. Judge Baxter was married earlier this week. That’s big news, don’t you think?” She looks to her son. “Noah? Would you like to guess who his lovely bride might be?”

  Noah’s face bleaches out, and I’m right back to being terrified he might have a setback. Surely the doctor didn’t know what his mother was capable of—what I was capable of.

  “Lottie?” Noah staggers forward.

  It’s just an arrangement, I want to say. It’s not real. But I don’t dare ruin things for Everett, too. I glance to Cressida, who is looking mighty smug and satisfied.

  And how I would love to wring her neck with garland right about now.

  “You were medically fragile. I couldn’t…”

  Noah looks as if he’s about to
be sick, so I seal my lips and swallow my words.

  Everett pulls him abruptly to the side, and I follow along as we leave the gasping crowd to whisper amongst themselves.

  Everett looks as if he’s ready to kill as well. “It’s not what you think. I’m not interfering in your relationship.”

  “The hell you’re not.” Noah jerks his arm free.

  “It’s just for a year,” I whisper frantically.

  Noah’s rage percolates to new heights. “A year?”

  “If I didn’t help him, he would have had to resort to Cressida.”

  “Would that have been so bad, Lottie?” Noah’s voice is a touch too loud. A touch too sharp. And the room falls silent.

  “If it makes you feel better, I spent our wedding night with you.”

  “No, Lottie, it doesn’t.” Noah’s gaze presses into mine.

  “Noah, I’m so sorry.” I fly over to him, but he takes a full step back, his arms raised as if he doesn’t want anything to do with me, and just like that, Cormack latches onto him. “Please, don’t go.”

  “I have to.” He closes his eyes for a moment. “I just need to get out of here and collect my thoughts.”

  He takes off, and I dash out of the room after him—after them, out of the B&B and into the night as I watch Noah speed off with Cormack in the passenger’s seat.

  It’s over.

  We’re over.

  A glimmer of light shines to my right, and it takes everything in me to glance that way at the familiar frame of a man.

  “Oh hi, Daddy,” I say before looking back at the empty road before I do an abrupt double take in his direction.

  Standing before me in all his spectral glory is Joseph Lemon.

  “Daddy!” I wrap my arms around him, and he feels solid and real despite the fact his body is glowing a strange hue of blue. “Oh, Daddy, you’re back. You’re back right when I need you most.”

  “I am back, darling.” He lands a soft kiss to the tip of my nose. “But I’m not back for you.” He offers a solemn tip of the head. “That will simply be a nice little perk. I’m here for someone else, I’m afraid.” His expression grows somber as he fades away to nothing.