Scarred Souls: The First Collection

by TT Kove

  ‘I’m going to leave you to work. I just wanted to check if you were doing all right.’ I turned away.

  ‘That’s really nice of you.’ Leslie hesitated for a moment. ‘Hey, Josh?’

  ‘Yeah?’ I turned back around.

  ‘Do you want to meet up one day when I haven’t got work after school?’ He looked at me with what I took to be a hopeful expression.

  ‘Yes!’ It came out too quick and too loud, but at least it showed just how much I wanted that. Leslie had become somewhat of a friend in the last few months, but we hardly ever spent time together one-on-one. ‘I would like that, yeah.’

  ‘Great.’ Leslie smiled.

  I left him there working.

  His boyfriend, Spencer, was out front. I waved my goodbyes to him as well, not stopping to chat as he was busy with a customer.

  When I got home, no one was there.

  It was funny how I’d started to think of Damian’s flat at home. I didn’t officially live there, though I spent more time here than back in Mum’s flat and my own bed.

  I sat cross-legged in the middle of Damian’s bed. I’d been sleeping in it for months—and we had only been sleeping. With anyone else, I wouldn’t have thought it possible. They would’ve expected sex initially, and all the nights to follow.

  But Damian didn’t. And I… well, I wanted it sometimes, but after being without for so long and being with someone who didn’t want it, it wasn’t really something I craved.

  Actually, the thought of trying it again now after the experience yesterday, scared me. I would never have to worry about flashing back to my past with Damian, though.

  The front door opened and closed, and then Damian came into the room. He put his book bag down against his desk, smiled at me, then turned to his closet. He wrenched his jumper over his head, which I now realised was wet.

  ‘It started raining?’

  ‘You surprised?’ He turned halfway around to grin at me. ‘This is London.’

  My eyes fell to his chest, and the big scar going askew down from chest to hip. Both my hands involuntarily went underneath the sleeves of my own jumper, feeling my own scars.

  Both of us were scarred, inside and out. We had scars that would never go away.

  Damian’s chest was quickly covered by a T-shirt. He didn’t like to show off his naked skin, not even to me. His bare upper body was the most of him I’d seen.

  ‘Do you realise we’ve been together over eight months now?’ I lifted my head to smile at him.

  He gazed at me, brushed his tee down, then came over to stand on the floor in front of me.

  ‘Time sure flies.’

  ‘It does.’ I leant over, he leant down, and our lips met in a soft kiss. ‘I lucked out with you, you know.’

  He chuckled.

  ‘You must be the only one who thinks so.’

  ‘What I think is the only thing that matters.’ I pulled him down on the bed, the element of surprise the only reason I managed to topple him over in the first place. He was broader, taller, and stronger than me.

  Chuckling again, he rolled over onto his back. His arm stretched out towards me and I quickly took the invitation, lying down next to him with my head propped on his bicep. He curled his arm around my shoulder, holding me in place.

  ‘I lucked out with you too, you know. Not many blokes would put up with me and my inability to, well, you know.’

  Honestly, that must be easier to put up with than my borderline disorder.

  ‘Know what I think?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I think we might be made for each other.’

  It startled a laugh out of him.

  ‘Cheesy.’

  ‘But true.’ I honestly believed it. How else could two people fit so well together? Be so okay with each other’s quirks and disorders and sexualities?

  ‘Maybe you’re right.’ Damian turned over, burying his face in my neck and holding me tight with both arms.

  I knew I was. I’d lucked out with him.

  We’d both lucked out.

  Anniversary

  Damian

  ‘Flowers?’ I cast a skeptical glance at Silver.

  ‘Not flowers.’ He pointed in exasperation. ‘Roses.’

  ‘Why roses?’ I couldn’t believe I was standing in a flower shop with my best friend looking at bouquets of flowers. What was so special about flowers?

  ‘It’s you anniversary.’ He raised one eyebrow. ‘You have to get him something. Red roses are perfect. It’s what you give to someone you love.’

  ‘That is too cheesy.’ I wasn’t about to come home with a bloody bouquet of roses in my hand. What was the point, anyway? They’d eventually wither and die, and it would happen sooner rather than later. How could that be a sign of love?

  ‘You want my help or not?’ Silver was exasperated now. ‘Your anniversary is today and you haven’t got him anything.’

  ‘Why make such big deal about being together for a year?’ I scowled at the flowers. ‘What’s the point? It’s not his birthday.’

  ‘Damian.’ Silver took deep breath as if to gather himself. ‘An anniversary is a big deal. You’ve been together for an entire year. It has to be celebrated somehow. If you last another year, you do it again. It’s part of being in a relationship.’

  How was I supposed to know what people did for their anniversaries? I’d never been in a relationship. This was all new to me and Josh hadn’t mentioned anything about gifts on these kinds of days.

  My uncle and aunt went out for dinner, just the two of them, on their anniversaries. But that was their wedding anniversary. That was something else altogether.

  ‘Buy him some flowers. And something else. Something that lasts longer.’ He scanned the shop, but as it was a flower shop, I couldn’t fathom how he could find anything lasting in here. ‘How about buying him a bracelet?’

  ‘He doesn’t wear any. Except those rainbow rubber bands—or actual rubber bands.’ He used the latter to snap against his skin if he got the urge to cut. Sometimes they worked… other times they didn’t and he ended up with a razor anyway.

  ‘What about a neck chain then? Or a pendant? Something like that?’

  It was certainly a better idea than bracelets or flowers. Still…

  ‘Josh hasn’t mentioned anything about gifts.’ He would’ve told me if it had been expected, surely?

  ‘Come on, mate. This isn’t something he’s going to tell you.’ He clapped me on the shoulder. ‘Buy a bouquet of roses, Damian. Be a little romantic. Then we’ll head off to a jewellery shop and look at neck chains or pendant or whatever.’ He picked up a bouquet and looked at it critically. ‘Seriously, what would you do without me?’

  ‘Put that down.’ I wasn’t going to buy flowers, no matter how much help he was.

  Because it was true, what he’d asked. What would I do without him?

  I hadn’t thought about today at all, but when I’d mentioned it in passing to Silver, he’d been shocked to hear I hadn’t bought Josh anything.

  So here we were, in a flower shop. Where I wasn’t going to buy any flowers.

  To think it’d been a year though. It was unbelievable, really, that I managed to keep a relationship strong and steady for so long. Unbelievable… and amazing.

  I reckoned giving Josh a gift wouldn’t be too bad… but flowers was taking it too far.

  I didn’t have a romantic bone in my body and showing up with flowers like you saw on film or the telly… it just made my skin crawl.

  Josh liked me for who I was. I didn’t need to change anything. I didn’t have to do something that I wholly didn’t believe in.

  But I’d get him something… something he could wear or use or… something practical. Those were the best gifts, after all.

  ‘Come on, let’s get out of here.’ I headed towards the door before I even finished speaking.

  Silver hurried after me.

  ‘You are so weird. I’m totally buying Kian red roses for our annive
rsary. Which is in a week. Holy hell.’

  ‘You and I are two entirely different people.’

  ‘Thank fuck for that.’ He chuckled as he hooked his hands behind his neck, stretching. ‘No offence, mate, but I need some sex and romance in my life. Preferably in that order.’

  I snorted.

  ‘You do things your way and I do it mine.’

  ‘Deal.’ He grinned.

  Good.

  No more silly flowers. Time to find something of value. Something he needed or something he’d use. Not something that would wither and die—that wasn’t what I wanted for our relationship, either.

  It had to be something lasting. Like I wanted us to be.

  Next in series

  Scarred Souls: The Second Collection

  Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad?

  Wherever I turn nowadays, I’m bombarded with sex. Everyone has it, the media uses it to sell products, and people who don’t want it are considered abnormal. I’ve always considered myself asexual; I’ve never had any need nor desire for sex. But I’m with Josh, who’s gay and craves it… so maybe I should at least try it? To see what it’s like, what I’m missing out on?

  Get it now.

  Broken Souls excerpt

  Curious about Chad? He’s got his own serial!

  Chad

  Jumping my English teacher in the teacher’s lounge was a brilliant idea at the time.

  He was sitting there, looking at me all concerned but also with a hint of caring, and he was saying something about me needing to be careful.

  Careful?

  The fuck would I need to be careful for? I was on top of the world!

  On top of the world… and horny. And he was right there, in all his tall, broad, slightly stubbled glory—and I desired him. I’d never needed anyone before the way I needed him. Lust coursed through me, my cock sprung from limp to hard in a second—and the brilliant idea popped into my mind.

  So I jumped him.

  It toppled us over, and he grunted in pain as the back of his chair and his head hit the floor.

  My knees took the brunt of it too, but I didn’t even feel it.

  All I felt was his hard body underneath me and his stubble raking my palms as I cupped his face.

  And then I mashed our lips together and all other thoughts flew out of my mind.

  I’d fancied him for months—ever since the year started and he’d held me back after class to ask if I was doing okay. I’d sported some bruise or another at the time, which had prompted his concern. My infatuation hadn’t lessened since, and I’d finally taken proper advantage of it.

  ‘Chad.’ He pushed against my shoulders, but I wasn’t getting distracted from this.

  I wanted him and I knew he wanted me. I’d caught him looking at me too many times to count.

  ‘Dion.’ I pushed his shirt up from his trousers and thrust my hands underneath. His skin was warm and hard, rippling with muscle that wasn’t noticeable in his proper, posh clothing style.

  I wondered if he dressed more casual at home, or if he was this proper all the time.

  The thought flitted through my head and was gone just as quickly.

  Dion’s hands clenched on my hips. I was pleased to feel them on me. Almost as pleased as I was by him now answering my kisses.

  I needed to feel more of him. This had to be taken further and it had to happen now, so I wasted no time undoing his trousers and shoving them down.

  His cock slapped against his stomach the minute I freed it, already hard and leaking.

  ‘You want me so much.’ I wanted him so much. I’d never wanted anyone the way I wanted him, that was for sure. Everyone else only wanted a bang, but Dion… he cared about me, and I cared about him too, which was why this was so right!

  ‘Chad…’ His eyes were half-closed and clouded over with lust. He was gorgeous like that, but I needed to see him come undone.

  For me, only for me.

  I stood up to chuck my jeans, in which time he managed to sit up as well.

  ‘Don’t move.’ I pushed against his chest and dropped into his lap, my bare skin rubbing against the soft fabric of his trousers.

  I wanted to feel him skin to skin, but all I really needed at the moment was his cock, and that stood proud and ready.

  ‘Chad, we don’t have—‘

  ‘We do.’ I produced a condom and a packet of lube from my discarded jeans.

  I didn’t hesitate rolling the condom on him once I’d ripped the packet open with my teeth. Lube followed, which I only bothered drizzling over him. I didn’t need it, I’d easily take him.

  It would be enough.

  It was quick and rough and hard and I loved it.

  I shifted between clawing at him and clinging to him, and his strong arms were a vice around my middle. If not for his grip, I would’ve tumbled off his lap in my eagerness, but he kept me on course.

  His cock was big and wonderful and it stretched me open in a way few had before. I’d been with a considerable amount of men—but few who was as hung as he was.

  It was awesome!

  Before I even knew it—before I was ready—it was over.

  I’d come all over his chest, ruining his posh shirt, and he’d filled up the condom inside me.

  He struggled to draw in a breath, at the same time as he was already softening inside me.

  I slid off his lap and stretched out on the floor.

  ‘That,’ I put as much emphasis on the word as I could, ‘was amazing!’ I’d come hard, judging by the evidence of his ruined shirt, but my cock was still hard and ready. My body was still pumping. ‘Let’s do it again!’ I rolled to the side, wanting to ravage him, but this time he stopped me with a hand splayed on my chest.

  ‘Let’s not.’

  ‘Come on, I know you think it was good too. Evidence speaks for itself.’ I rubbed my hand over his now soft cock, which was still encased with the semen-filled condom.

  ‘I’m your teacher.’ He pushed my hand away then grabbed hold of it when I tried to rub his dick again. He squeezed tightly. ‘This is unethical. It never should’ve happened. And as it is… I have someone.’

  ‘A girlfriend?’ I gave him a shrewd look. He clearly wasn’t as interested in said girlfriend after giving in to me so quickly. Maybe he should reevaluate his life choices a bit.

  Change gears, so to speak.

  ‘A boyfriend, actually.’ He grimaced as he took off the condom with his free hand.

  ‘He’s clearly not giving you everything you need.’ I leant in close, my lips brushing his slightly stubbled jaw. ‘I can give you absolutely everything, Dion.’

  ‘I love Jeremy.’ He had an emphasis on the word love.

  ‘So? Love… sex… two different things.’

  ‘Two different things that still belong together.’ He let go off my hand, but he’d pulled his pants and trousers up before I could fondle him again.

  I lay back down on the floor and stretched out.

  I’d been in the teacher’s lounge yesterday too, and I’d thought the ceiling had been dull. Dull and white and boring.

  What had I been on about? It was lovely! The lights gave it a yellow sort of glow and yellow was a happy colour. It was a happy ceiling. It glowed.

  ‘Chad? Chad!’

  I jerked my head around.

  Dion stood now, his hands smoothing down his still-ruined shirt and now-wrinkled trousers. He picked at a wet spot on said shirt while grimacing again.

  ‘It’s only come. You should taste it. I wish you would’ve. It tastes wonderful!’

  He stared down at me, a wrinkle appearing between his eyebrows as he frowned.

  ‘What’s wrong with you today?’

  ‘Wrong?’ Nothing was wrong, nothing at all! ‘Life’s wonderful!’

  His frown deepened.

  ‘Chad…’

  ‘Why can’t I be your boyfriend?’ I interrupted him. I didn’t want to hear whatever he had to say. He didn’t seem like it was anything ha
ppy.

  ‘You’re my student—and I love my boyfriend.’

  ‘Not enough.’ I wrapped my hand around my cock, which was still hard. If he wasn’t going to finish this, I had to. ‘We’re close aren’t we? Have been since the start of the year. I mean, I never thought I’d have such a young, fit teacher, you know? And you almost always keep me back when the rest of the class finishes.’

  ‘Because I’m worried—’

  ‘You want me. You just proved it in the biggest way.’

  ‘I can get fired for this!’ He backed away from me, but he couldn’t seem to rip his eyes away from my cock.

  Gotcha!

  I stroked it faster to give him a proper look at what he was missing out on.

  Maybe if I gave him enough of an incentive, he’d kneel besides me and swallow me down, sucking me to completion. Maybe he’d even let me come in his mouth. Maybe he’d swallow.

  That would be so hot.

  ‘You can do anything you want to me.’ I was panting by now, chasing my second orgasm. ‘I’m at your mercy. You can fuck me into the floor. You can tie me up. Manhandle me.’ I sat up, hand still busy wanking myself off.

  His eyes were wide and staring at me, but not exclusively at my dick anymore. His gaze was darting from my cock to my face and back again.

  Repeat, repeat, repeat.

  I came with a loud shout and I swear stars tinkled before my eyes as I collapsed in a blissed out heap.

  Come to it, they were still there when I opened my eyes again. When exactly did I close them?

  The ceiling in the teacher’s lounge had stars painted on them. Flashing stars burning brightly. Colourful and illuminating. They were beautiful.

  ‘Chad?’ The voice was far off.

  Who did it belong to anyway?

  Whoever it was, they should be watching the stars too. It wasn’t often you saw stars inside.

  It was a special occasion.

  I wish I owned a camera—this deserved to be taken pictures of.

  ‘I love you.’

  I was on my feet and had jumped on Dion before I could even process what was happening. ‘I love you too!’