Breathe With Me (The Breathe Series Book 3)

by Wendy L. Wilson

  My hand falls on the door knob and I tug at it before looking back. I stumble forward when I’m met with zero give and quickly see the deadbolt that Dad installed last summer is twisted sideways; locked. My fingers fumble clumsily as if I am trying to escape from a crazed serial killer; escape is absolute. I snap it to the side and fling the door open with such force that it thuds against the wall. I don’t even care if Mom and Dad wake up, as long as I am gone.

  “Piper, wait,” Trent whispers as the mattress creaks behind me. “Piper…”

  I run out the door, my feet shaky and unstable, my mind a wreck of images and sounds that I cannot shove aside and my body still crawls with the heat of his breaths on my neck and the touch of his hand on my hip.

  I want to forget that it ever happened.

  Forget how it felt; erase every dirty detail of this night.

  Just forget it all.

  ONCE BACK INSIDE MY COZY little hideaway, I drag myself towards my bed with a shiver. My eyes skim over my thick comforter before settling on the small metal radiator between the bed and table. Running my hand a few inches above it, I let out a frustrated breath and drop my hand onto the smooth surface. Great. It’s warm, but no doubt it is going out. Squatting down onto the balls of my feet, I turn the heating knob just a couple of notches to high and hope that it starts cranking out some heat soon. I hate being cold. I may not complain about much, but I am a pansy when it comes to cold weather.

  Clasping the fabric of my shirt at the back of my neck, I pull it off in one swift motion and quickly grab the sweatshirt that’s wadded up at the bottom of my bed. After pulling on an old pair of gym pants, I slide under the warmth of my blankets and settle in for the night with the springs in my worn out mattress digging into my back. I’m due for a new one, but this bed holds way too many memories; carefree, adolescent fun along with more intimate moments when I got older.

  Reaching behind my head, my stomach tightens as I lift my upper body until I find the only thing I have left from all those memories. I pull out a picture of Piper that I’ve held onto since the second she gave it to me back in the ninth grade. At the time, it seemed like such a small deed, exchanging pictures, but now as I look back, I remember the huge smile she had on her face as she handed it over. I can still see the nervousness in her eyes as I grabbed it and then handed back one of me. Her skipping away with my picture in her hand should have told me right then how much that little gesture did and how she felt about me. Nonetheless, her picture went up beside my bed that night and has remained there, up until earlier today at least.

  Flipping my finger along the dog-eared edge that bent one time or another from my excessive obsession of looking at it, I think over everything that was said earlier. Not a damn thing was resolved and nothing was put behind us, but the hostility in her voice dulled; it was drowned out by something else. Is it even possible that she has missed me too?

  Quickly dismissing that thought, I slide the picture back to its normal resting place in a seam on the wall, careful to not bend or damage it any more. I’m sure it’s the last picture I’ll have of her. Reaching up, I turn off the light above my head and twist to get more comfortable, sliding one hand under the pillow and the other resting above it in front of my face. Sliding my eyes closed, I breathe out slowly, releasing any unsettling thoughts and worries until my mind is empty and focused on absolutely nothing.

  Tap…Tap.

  My eyes spring open at the unexpected disruption and my heart slams in my chest with a windstorm of nostalgia. Up on my sock feet, I trip over my shoes and stumble to catch myself with one thing in my head, as if I shut my eyes and slipped into a time warp; it’s her. Her presence screams my name. Maybe she wants to talk some more.

  My head flips through images of her the first time she ever set foot on the other side of this door; one time of many following that night. Once she nervously came inside, I noticed her scraped up knees and puffy eyes, and knew something was off about her visit; not only because it was the middle of the night either. The need to ask her what was wrong burned through me, but something about her frightened eyes told me to leave it alone. Instead, I chose to try and make her laugh. I know that’s always what I need when I get in a fight with Dad and brother, so I figured it was worth a try.

  My legs fly to the door and my hand falls to the knob with an urgent force as I fling it open, but as soon as I look up, all my hopes fade and all thoughts of revisiting one of those sacred memories we shared are shattered.

  “Hey you,” Skylar’s voice hums in a flirty tone.

  Unfortunately, with my head and heart in a different place, this visit comes as an unexpected surprise that borders on annoying and nearly intrusive, at no fault of hers at all.

  “Hey,” I draw out then look around inside my camper, suddenly feeling awkward at having her here. The same feeling crept over me earlier, but I forced it from the surface of my mind and shoved it down deep to where it may never haunt me again. I was wrong; Piper will always be with me. “What’s up?” I ask nonchalantly, still blocking the doorway like a jackass.

  She huffs out a laugh and looks around me with her eyebrows arched. “Well, can I come in?”

  I instantly look at my wrist like I actually have a watch wrapped around it; hell I don’t even think I own one.

  “You know what…” What the hell are you doing? Just invite her in. My heart and head wage a war that simply should not even be happening. In the end, my head gives up. “It’s late.” Lame excuse for turning down a booty call. What am I doing?

  Skylar’s hands instantly shoot to her hips like she has them on autopilot for when idiots like me piss her off.

  “Late?” she says innocently with a hint of hurt. “I just thought you might want some company, so I…”

  Panicked, I bounce down the stairs and let the door slip shut behind me. “Company sounds good. I was actually feeling a bit antsy and thought I’d go for a little stroll. Hang on.” In two seconds flat, I spin on my feet, fly inside and throw my phone into my back pocket and hastily shove my feet into my sneakers without untying them before rushing back out to finish up damage control. “I have an early start in the morning, working on those heaters and all, but how about I walk you back to the cabin?”

  In the darkness, I can barely make out the skepticism in her glare, but then she relaxes with a soft laugh. For all I know she may think I have some mystery chick shacked up inside.

  Her hands fall and she hops over to my side, bumping her shoulder against mine playfully.

  “Ok…I guess you talked me into it. Rain check on the visit I suppose?”

  I nod, lazily shoving my hands into my side pockets with a shiver. I hate this cold ass weather. Clearly reading my mind, Skylar nuzzles to my side with the heat of her hand burning clear through my thick sweatshirt.

  “Rain check sounds good. I figured everyone would be passed out over your way.” I nudge my head towards Piper’s cabin. “Couldn’t sleep? Or are you just so needy for all this?” I shift my hips forward with a smirk and she busts out in a laugh.

  “Well, of course, I’m always needy for that, but no…they were just getting a little too rowdy and noisy so I said screw this.”

  Knitting my eyebrows in concern, I snap my head over to look at her. “Rowdy? Did someone get in a fight?”

  Breaking into a cough sort of laugh, she pulls closer to my side. “Ahhh, I wouldn’t call that a fight, unless it’s the making up after one.”

  My eyes widen as we draw nearer to the cabin and a spark of anger and fury bolts through my veins.

  “Who?!” I snap.

  “What do you mean who? Everyone except me of course. Single girl here…” She holds her ring finger up, twirling it in the air. “Remember? Kind of an awkward situation staying in a cabin with couples. I mean, who wants to listen to a whole bunch of huffing and puffing from another room and not have…”

  “Wait! You mean Piper is…” my voice elevates right as my phone rings. Who the hell is c
alling me at this hour?

  Skylar remains quiet as I jerk it out with a frown cemented across my face. Right about now I feel like saying to hell with being out here. I do not need to know when she is so carelessly getting it on with someone else. I know it’s jealousy, but damn it pisses me off to know how scarred she was back when we were together and how much effort it was to just hold hands with her. Now, I guess she just hops in bed with whoever.

  “Hello,” I spit out, not even bothering to look at the screen before answering.

  “Evan…” Abby’s frightened voice immediately has me on alert and quickening my pace to the door of their cabin.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Skylar follows beside me, saying something, but I’m too focused in on Abby on the other end of the phone.

  “It’s Piper. She had one of her spells. I know you know what I’m talking about because she told me a long time ago that you always knew how she got and you knew how to pull her out of it when she would…”

  Adrenaline races through my body and has me kicking up gravel as my feet pound the ground to get to her side. I cannot even say anything as Abby rambles on. Any amount of thought processing halts, my heart pumps frantically in my chest and the moisture in my mouth dries up, leaving a lump lodged in my throat.

  The grip I have on the phone increases to a constricting hold of anger, rage, pain and dread. My hand lands on the handle to the cabin and I fling it open without so much as an invitation to come inside. I immediately search the room, a collage of sounds meeting my ears in an array of confusion.

  “I don’t know…I don’t know…I didn’t even touch her!” Chris shouts out in the corner of the living room. “I just don’t know what happened…”

  “Did you scare her or…” Hayden asks, sounding just as freaked as Chris.

  “I don’t know…I have no clue what happened like I said.”

  My legs steer directly in Chris’ direction as my fists ball together, one still clasping the phone.

  “Evan!” Abby yells and after a quick warning look at Chris and Hayden, I turn and bolt into the back bedroom to find Piper lying on the bed motionless.

  The sheets are scattered about beside her and that alone makes all the feeling drain from my body until I’m damn near numb except for the thundering of my heart. She lies on her side with her blanket drawn up to her chin and her knees pulled up in a fetal position beneath the covers.

  “Evan,” Abby calls out, but my attention is set dead ahead as my feet slam against the wood floor in a frantic pace to get to her side. “I don’t know what happened. All I know is Chris said…” My jaw tenses as she says his name. Abby rambles on, her voice trembling, “…that she passed out or something and I remembered her telling me that you…”

  I snap my head to Abby, hoping she’ll just stop as I shove my phone in my pocket and slide onto the edge of the bed. Abby quiets, pressing her lips together and stepping forward. I look back down to Piper, my heart shattering at how young she looks; like a child that had their innocence ripped away from them in a sick and twisted way by someone they thought they could trust. A lump forms in my throat as I lean down and try to form words.

  “Pi…” I clear my throat, placing my hand gently on her cheek. “Piper?” I whisper softly, not wanting to startle her in any way. No matter how timid and sweet she looks, I know she has fight in her and she may very well wake up swinging. When she sees it’s me, she may start throwing punches regardless. “Piper.” I slide my hand over her cheek to her shoulder and down to her upper arm, keeping my touch light and on the exterior of the covers. “Piper, baby, wake up.”

  My brows dip as I say words that I haven’t said in so long, yet it seems like it was only days ago that I was this close to her; only minutes ago when I last had to face this with her.

  I move my face closer, only inches from her mouth. Flicking my eyes down to her lips, I get a knot in my stomach thinking selfish thoughts I should not be thinking at a time they most definitely should not surface.

  “Piper…”

  I nudge her again, only this time she intakes a mouthful of air and relaxes her body, sending a wave of relief through me. My chest aches just looking at her, being this close yet knowing I have to hold back. Dropping just a bit of my hesitation, I take her face in my hands, softly, and lean down, placing my forehead to hers so I can reach her; reach inside and pull her out of this like I always used to.

  “Baby, wake up…” I whisper, hardly able to hear my own words. “Breathe with me. You remember…I breathe, you breathe.” Everything I have held deep down crashes against the walls of my chest with each word. “Come on Piper, open your eyes. Take another breath and look at me.”

  Her eyelashes flutter and she gasps in a quick gulp of air. Pulling my head back slightly, I stare down at her, gently running the edge of my thumb over her cheek bone, over and over again. A smile ticks at the corner of my lips as her eyes slowly begin to open. These episodes have always scared me. This one is a walk in the park compared to some I’ve seen her have and those were from when I would get too close to her or touch her in a way that took her back. An anger burns in me with the thought of what triggered this particular one.

  “Evan,” Piper says in a breathy whisper with her eyes only half open.

  “Hey, yeah…I’m here. Are you ok?” I lean in close to her face again; so close that I can make out the flecks of violet in her deep dark brown eyes as she opens them wider.

  “Hi,” she mumbles in a sleepy tone with her lips slightly curving into a smile.

  I want to leap up and take her in my arms; bounce up and down with my hands in the air like a prize fight champion, and flip off any guy that’s ever made advances towards her, all at the same time. Just as my heart slams in my chest in celebration, her face twists into shock with her eyes wide and she quickly slides out of my hold, back against the headboard. All the hopes and wishes that I’ve carried around for years where she is concerned take an immediate free-fall from the uphill climb it was finally on.

  “Evan, what the hell are you…”

  “Whoa, whoa…I’m just here to help,” I point one hand towards Abby, standing defenseless by the bed and the other hand I hold up, trying to calm her from an explosion I feared may happen at the sight of me. “Abby said you had blacked out and I just thought…”

  Piper’s eyes go wild and she snaps her head around to look at Abby. I follow Piper’s gaze and given any other circumstances, I’d probably drop to the floor rolling in a fit of laughter over the completely terrified look on Abby’s face. Her wide eyes dart from me to Piper as she opens her mouth. With Abby’s feisty attitude and quick wit, for a blonde anyways, I had always thought she was damn near made of steel.

  “Wait…I only called him because you had said that he had helped you through this sort of thing before.” She looks back to me in a silent plea for help to make Piper understand.

  Her words surprise me a little, just the same as when she mentioned it earlier on the phone. Even though Abby and Piper have been BFF’s since they were nearly in diapers, I thought for sure that what had happened to her years ago was something she’d never tell a soul; well except me and I made sure to screw that up.

  Slapping my hand across my forehead and regretting even bringing her into this, I turn my sight to Piper who is still focused on Abby. Her eyes are hooded over by drawn down brows and her face a scornful mask that could possibly make someone roll over in their grave. I always hated when I got that glare. That is the exact look Grandpa always warned me about when he’d say, “Son, if a woman ever gives you ‘the look’, either roll over and play dead, get ready for the doghouse or go fetch whatever the hell bone she throws at you.”

  “Piper…” She immediately flicks her deep dark eyes on me. Oh hell. “Abby was just worried. She thought I could wake you up, because obviously she is aware of the situation and how you get.” I keep all sarcasm and defeat out of my voice, unable to meet her eyes as I stare past her at the headbo
ard.

  “I’m fine!” she spits out, pulling the sheet to her chest, tighter as if I’m someone that would take advantage of her or even hurt her.

  That act alone rips my chest wide open and leaves my heart exposed, bleeding and barely beating. I’d never hurt her. Dammit, she knows that.

  Clamping my jaw, I slowly grind my teeth and stare right into her eyes, wanting nothing more than to reach out and loosen the defensive hold she has on the barrier she’s placed between us. She looks back, penetrating every thread of my soul with that look alone. This is the one thing she has always had over me. If she wanted something, was hurt or scared, or even had the slightest hesitation in talking to me, one look is all it took; I’d know exactly what to do, what she needed to make anything better. This look…

  God, that look is my undoing.

  Her eyes aren’t ice cold as they have been the last several years when I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to look into them. They are emotionless, telling me to keep my distance. They reflect all the hurt I caused her, displaying the deceit that a tiny slip of the mouth can create in a person that you would give absolutely anything for. She stares at me with the eyes that used to say I was everything, but now I’m just another guy she doesn’t trust. Did I really lose her for good? I relax my jaw and let the defeat course through me, letting out a deep beaten down sigh as I look down.

  “Piper, I just…” I start, then pause remembering that Abby is only ten feet away. I’m sure she knows the whole story, but the last thing I want is a bunch of witnesses when I bare my soul.

  “Oh wow…Ummm…maaaaybeeee…I should go…you know…I can just make myself…” Abby rambles, but is interrupted as the covers shuffle in front of me and I see movement from Piper.

  I glance back up and watch as she quickly motions with one finger held up to Abby. “You don’t have to leave.” She looks back at me and meets my eyes, the pace of my heart kicking up in dread, hope and fear all jammed together causing it to verge nearer and nearer to exploding. “Evan, I said I am fine. You really should not have come. I don’t need your help…anymore.” She emphasizes the last word, a method of shoving the knife in so damn deep that my heart may just bleed out right in front of her.