Breathe With Me (The Breathe Series Book 3)

by Wendy L. Wilson

  “So you knew something personal about her and told someone? Who did you tell?” Judd asks and I press my head to the door, not even caring if anyone walks up.

  “I did and trust me, I didn’t tell anyone. Well…at least it didn’t go down as simple as that. My brother has a way of pushing buttons and I usually rise to the occasion like a dumbass. Anyways…”

  I pull away, letting him have his conversation. His words make me want to know more, but for now I let it be. He didn’t say anything. Judd doesn’t know? He’s been his best friend for years and he has never told him? My mouth gapes open and I walk up the dock, deep in thought. A weightlessness comes over me; one that I haven’t felt since that day, before my confrontation with Mitch. It’s overwhelming and takes me by surprise.

  That day not only changed my entire outlook on love along with ending my relationship with Evan, but it altered my entire life.

  Everything changed.

  That day crushed me,

  But for once, today…

  Listening to Judd and Evan talk, it gives me hope.

  “SO…LAST NIGHT I GET a call from Abby. Freaked me out.”

  Judd snaps his head around to look at me. “Why…what happened?”

  I shake my head, pulling my knees up and placing my forearms across them. Clasping my hands, I carefully shuffle through my wording before letting it fly. Where Piper is concerned, I always think twice before speaking.

  “Well, I went over there and tried to help out with a…ummm, just a touchy situation.” I glance over and see Judd nod as if not questioning my vagueness at all, so I go on, “For a second I thought everything was going to be put behind us.” I sigh, dropping my head back against the wall with a thump. “Then, there she went. She remembered…remembered what a douche I was for opening my damn mouth and telling the one person that would no doubt use the information to do the most damage. Anyways, she ended up getting all pissed off and told me to leave.”

  “Hmmm…” Judd stares forward, looking maybe like he is half-ass listening or maybe just trying to figure out what I am talking about since I am practically talking in code. “Well, listen…I’d take the first part as a sign that maybe it can be put behind you. Just keep trying.” He rises to his feet, brushes off his pants then stretches his arms above his head.

  “Yeah,” I let out an insincere chuckle at his logic and stand up as well. “Only thing is…it was alright for a minute, because she was half asleep. I think she was a little spaced out when she came to…saw me, a familiar face and didn’t think immediately. As soon as she did…she made sure to let me know that I had no business over there.”

  “And that’s what was bothering you earlier? Just another day with her…” he pauses, gritting his teeth before finishing, “…ummm well, hating you I guess.”

  I flinch at that thought. She did hate me; does, for all I know.

  “No, what bothered me is last night when I left her cabin, Abby walked me out and we were talking. Here I assumed that she knew all about everything since she called me for help. I mean, she mentioned that she knew I helped Piper out with this sort of…” I hold my hands up and then drop them, refraining from the air quotes. “…situation. Well…” I blow out a deliberate breath. What the hell did I do?! “I freaking had a slip of the tongue…again.”

  I want to slap my hand across my face and hide in shame, but moreover I look at Judd, wanting his take on it even though he is limited on the detailed information.

  “Ok…and she didn’t know? She told you?”

  My brows shoot up and I shake my head. “Oh no she had no idea.”

  Judd presses his lips together. “Wow, this is a tough one.”

  I snicker at his struggle to give me advice.

  “No I mean, I don’t know much about it, so it’s hard to tell you what my opinion is. Of course if that’s what you were needing,” he pauses, looking for assurance.

  I nod, eager for him to enlighten me with some vast knowledge of women that I haven’t yet discovered. I seriously am lost when it comes to this. I haven’t any idea how to get out of this. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Abby will tell her and then it will be bedlam all over again.

  “So what did you say exactly to her?” he stumbles to reword, “I mean, without telling me so much. Did you just say it right out loud?”

  I take in a deep breath, thinking it over.

  “Thank you for coming. I was so scared. I didn’t know what to do.” Abby and I trail along back to my camper, her explaining everything that went on from the point she walked in and found Piper passed out.

  My least favorite part of the tale is finding out that Chris just so happened to come out of the bedroom and get Abby, telling her of Piper’s condition. What an ass! I grit my teeth, scraping them against each other as the sharp sound makes the hair on my arms stand on end. I figured as much from the second I walked in and saw him panicking.

  “I don’t think I would have known what to do had you not shown up.”

  “Yeah, I’m glad Piper told you about it so you knew to call me. Has she done this a lot?”

  I’m curious for two reasons. One, I’m jealous as hell and want to know if she’s put herself in situations to trigger instances like this. I know firsthand, intimacy is the biggest culprit of her blackouts through the night. Two, I’d like to know just how it has been stopped in the past. Has she learned to control it on her own? If so, why didn’t she do it tonight?

  “Not a lot, but she has a few times. After the first time that I found her, she told me about what makes it happen and then she told me all about you guys…how you used to see each other.”

  I look over as my feet crunch across the gravel lot not far from Grandpa’s cabin. She looks at me bashful, almost guilty from knowing this information. A look that is definitely not very Abby-like. Wow, she knows it all.

  “Wow! You must think I’m an ass for everything, but I’m glad she had someone to trust and confide in.”

  She laughs. “I don’t think you’re an ass, Evan. Oh…well…” She trips over her words, squinting her eyes and looking up towards the sky as if she is weighing her answer.

  I burst out laughing, grabbing my stomach. “Oh well hell, that looks like it’s a tough call.”

  “No, I was just going to say that I thought you were a little bit of an ass, but after she filled me in a bit more and then told me about Mitch basically making fun of her for it…well, then I thought he was the ass. You were just guilty by association.”

  We both laugh.

  “How is she?” the words slip out before I can stop them. I’ve wanted to ask Piper this for years, but we never have gotten to that point where I can ask something like that before she’s telling me to kiss her ass. “I mean has she moved past it yet?”

  “Well, obviously not.”

  I nod my head, but then second guess agreeing. She used to have episodes over the smallest things. One time she blacked out when I ran my hand over her hip. She started hyperventilating and I had no clue what I had done. That was the first thing that made me question what had gone on with her, that and the night she showed up at my camper, looking like she was scared for her life. I hate thinking about that night. I would have hurt him, had I known then.

  “I guess I mean more like physical contact and words; do they still make her black out? Or is it just when she remembers what happened due to someone trying to get close to her?”

  I look over as we stop in front of the door to my camper. Abby goes silent and I can see the confusion on her face.

  “Huh? What are you talking about? Physical contact? Weren’t we talking about the nightmares she’s had since she was a kid?” her eyes pierce my soul, and I honestly want to crawl under a rock.

  No, no, no…I did it again. What the hell…how do I clean this up? Shit!

  “Ahhhh…yeah, I meant the dreams about that…” I leave it open ended, sucking at covering up the fact that I was clearly talking about the distress she personally suffered
rather than some measly little dream.

  Abby crooks her head to the side, reading my expression as I look around, anywhere but her eyes. This girl, I have no doubt could read me like a book.

  “No, what are you talking about? Did something happen to Piper?”

  “No!” I snap, probably a little too fast.

  Great now it looks like I’m hiding something; I am. Damn!

  Abby pushes her lips to the side as if she is chewing on the corner of the inside of her mouth. “Evan, I know you aren’t talking about nightmares. You know I always thought that wasn’t what she was talking about either, when she told me about them. I mean most people wouldn’t black out from dreams unless they were brought on from a real life trauma kind of like post-traumatic stress.”

  “Ahhhh,” I have no clue what to say or how to clear this up, so I go for the best I can do. “It’s late. I think I am going to hit the hay.” I immediately turn and grab the door handle with guilt tugging at my heart. “Abby,” she’s walking away, but quickly turns in a carefree, out-on-a-night-walk fashion. “Hey, can we just kinda keep this under wraps?”

  I look at Judd, remembering all that I said to Abby last night; nope, there is no doubt.

  “Oh yeah…no, I definitely told her. Like an idiot, I just let it all fall right out of my trap.”

  Judd laughs, his eyes filled with a mix of you-poor-damn-sap and wow-you-screwed-up.

  “I figured as much. You don’t usually think things through before saying them. I’m sure it’ll all work out though.” His phone chimes and he glances at it before stepping toward the door. “Just keep trying.”

  I nod once and press my lips together in a somewhat appreciative smile. “Will do. Think I’m going to test these heaters out by seeing if I freeze my ass off in the shower. You better get going before your girlfriend gets too lonely. I’m sure going a whole morning without sex is about to drive you two insane.”

  Judd stares me down as I chuckle. “Bye, Evan,” he says, rolling his eyes dramatically.

  Once he is out the door, I toss my sweatshirt and jacket across the sink while I pick up a few tools we missed. The tee I have on sticks to my back like a silent plea to turn the heater down. Damn, that thing can pipe out some heat. Walking over, I stare at the dial set on high and make a decision to turn it down to medium. Maybe a bad decision, especially if I step out of the shower and freeze.

  After adjusting the temp, I pull the curtain to the first shower stall closed, strip down and let the hot soothing water rain over me. It doesn’t take long to wash off, considering I didn’t take the time to go gather my shampoo or body wash, but it’s wet and relaxing; that’s all I care about right now. Tossing the curtain open, I look down at the bench in the changing space and all I see is my clothes. Dammit; I didn’t even think to grab a towel. Shit.

  I stand there, buck-ass naked and dripping wet, weighing my options.

  Shake like a dog and then slip my clothes back on?

  Stand under the blow dryer and hope that I get at least a tenth of my body dry?

  Turn the heat back up and air dry?

  At least the room is plenty warm.

  “Evan…” My eyes go wide, not particularly at knowing I’m not alone as I stand here nude, but at the voice itself. “Hey, can I talk to you…” Piper rounds the corner and my heart stops. “Oh God!” she spits out, throwing her hands and her jacket over her face.

  I don’t move; don’t make any effort to dart behind anything. Is that my sweatshirt? Placing both of my hands on my hips, I squint at the gray material she has her head buried in. A ‘Ro’ with a ‘C’ below it is all I can make out, but I know it’s my sweatshirt. Piper no longer went to Rosemore our senior year, and that in fact, is the sweatshirt I got my senior year…Rosemore High Class of 2014.

  “Are you decent?” her voice comes out muffled, making me think she may smother if she doesn’t come up for air soon.

  I look around, before leaning back against the edge of the shower and folding my arms across my chest. Guess my choice is clear; I’ll air dry.

  She slowly drops her hands and my sweatshirt a fraction of an inch. “Oh geez, Evan…why on earth are you standing here naked?” She places her face back in the wad of fabric, sounding like she’s in a tunnel when she speaks. “This is a public restroom.”

  “I was in the shower,” I point out the obvious, staying comfortable against the wall. I don’t have anywhere to go.

  Droplets of water still slide down my chest, tickling my skin and letting me know I have plenty of time.

  She sighs and drops her hands to her waist, annoyance blanketing her expression now with a hint of amusement in her eyes. I want to laugh, but I keep a straight face, completely serious and confident standing here in the buff.

  “Ok, well fine…you can’t at least cover yourself?”

  I look straight at her face, my lip ticking up at the corners. “I forgot my towel.”

  “Ooooookkk…” She looks down at my discarded clothes with the exception of the one in her hand. “So get dressed.”

  Pressing my lips together to hold back laughter, I stare at her hands still gripping my shirt. “I’m trying to dry off first.” I glance up to make eye contact and then back to the shirt with a grin on my face. “Is that my sweatshirt?” I nudge my chin forward.

  Her eyes dart down to it. “Oh ahh…well I saw it on the sink and I, ahhhh…” I grin as she searches for an answer that doesn’t include her hugging my shirt. “Yeah…I just thought…” she clears her throat and straightens her stance, still clinging to it. “Anyways, I was hoping we could talk for a second.”

  Arching one brow on her words, I remain comfortably perched against the shower wall, not even chilly in the slightest. I level my gaze with her, staring at her hard; curious. I know she wants to look.

  “About?” I smirk, raising my brows.

  She hugs my sweatshirt to her chest, making me a bit envious. “All I wanted to say is…” Her chest rises on a deep breath. “…thank you,” she spits out as she exhales, like those words took every ounce of courage she had.

  I don’t say a word, my playfulness on enticing her to possibly take in an eyeful evaporating along with the shower water that had clung to my body. For once there is no bitterness in her words; it’s the voice I used to know.

  She gives me a close-lipped smile, igniting a tidal wave of nostalgia. It was never an expression that meant she was happy, not even one that would necessarily open up a gateway to tell me she wanted to talk. It was more of a pained smile, an I’m-going-to-smile-through-the-hurt kind of look. Just that, breaks me. It slaps me down and makes me regret that stupid ass mistake I made back then.

  She goes on, “Thank you for helping me last night. I forgot…” she pauses, looking down and taking another profound breath. “…it was nice.”

  My eyebrows shoot up and I stand up straight away from the wall, my arms still across my torso.

  “It was? I mean, yeah…ahhh…you’re welcome.” I gulp down all the heavy shit I want to say and go for subtle. “I meant what I said…I’m still here…ya know.” I dip my chin and grit my teeth, wondering if that may unleash the storm.

  Her eyes dart back to meet mine and slowly her lips curve into that bright beautiful smile I remember. God, I haven’t seen that directed at me in what seems like forever. This is a bigger victory than seeing those dumbass heaters actually crank out heat when I swore they wouldn’t. The corner of my mouth slightly raises, mocking her own smile and we both stand there in utter silence. Strangely, given the fact that I am awkwardly standing here completely nude and she is grasping my shirt like she desperately needs a cuddle buddy with no one else around except me, my mind still steers clear of any indecent thoughts. I mean this is Piper, I’ve had a thing for her since I was fourteen years old. Even after I found out what happened, it never dampened the way I wanted her or the way I looked at her. She always said that was the trait she loved the most; that I didn’t see her memories like she did. Wh
en I looked at her, I saw her and only her; just like now.

  I take a U-turn from the ‘I’m always here’ statement and try to lighten the entire mood. Enough seriousness.

  “So you heard the shower going when you walked in and decided now was a good time to talk? Like maybe I was over here testing the water pressure, fully clothed or something?” I press my lips tightly together, exhaling out my nose on a chuckle.

  She squints her eyes, giving me an evil glare, but I can see through it. This is the playful girl I knew back then; the giggly, trusting personality that usually only emerged when she was around me.

  “Evan, don’t flatter yourself. I…did…not…come in here to see you naked by any means.” She clears her throat again, a sign that she is uncomfortable or maybe even putting forth an extreme effort to look me in the eye.

  I know she wants to look.

  She quirks her brows, looking sexy as hell in a self-confident stare. “I actually ran into Judd outside and he said you were in here testing out the heaters.” She juts her chin side-to-side with a little attitude.

  I seriously want to laugh my ass off, but I keep my composure, holding it back for now. “Riiiiigggghhhht,” I draw out slowly and deliberately to emphasize the absurdity of her comment. “By taking a shower.”

  Frowning, she shifts and glances behind her to the new wall unit. She shrugs, not understanding my point.

  “I was testing out the heaters by taking a shower. You know…seeing if winter vacationers could trust the heaters to keep them toasty, or if they may freeze their goods off by the subzero drafts when they step out of the shower dripping wet.”

  I drop all emotion and amusement from my expression and look at her, gauging her reaction. I used to love getting under her skin and riling her up. It was our thing; me teasing and pestering her, and her always giving into my smartass ways with a pissy comment or defiant attitude.

  My restraint holds on for so long and then I cave, a huge grin taking over my face. “They work good; don’t you think?”