Long Lost

by Lexi Blake

  “I don’t understand.”

  He was quiet for a moment, his eyes on Violet. “You show up and offer me some kind of a future, some even murky link to a past I might never remember. I’m going to take it. It’s like I managed to start this tiny fire and now I need to nurture it. If I take care of it, I might have something warm in my life.”

  She didn’t want to think about how those words made her want to melt. She wasn’t supposed to be this easy. She was supposed to question everything this man said or did. “I told you I’m not interested in a relationship.”

  “You aren’t now, but I’m her father and I’m going to help her and you. That means I’ll be in your life as much you’ll allow me to be, and I don’t intend to waste this chance.”

  He wasn’t listening to her. “There is no chance.”

  A ghost of a smile turned his lips up. “I bet you always thought there was no chance that you would see me again. Things change. So do people.”

  That was where he was wrong. “Steven…”

  “Tucker,” he corrected in a deep voice. “My name is Tucker and I’m not that bastard Reasor. I’m starting to wonder if I ever was. I’ve been letting the idea that I was some kind of monster eat me alive inside for months, and I’m going to stop. I’m going to live the life I have right now, and that includes you and our daughter.”

  “I wasn’t asking you to be a part of her life.” This was not going the way she’d thought it would, and his reaction was throwing her for a loop.

  “Then what were you asking me for? Because, sweetheart, if it was cash, I’ll give you everything I have, but it won’t be much,” he admitted. “Oddly enough, guys who can’t remember their real names or have any proof that they even exist don’t make a ton of money. McKay-Taggart pays us, but I haven’t saved a ton. When McDonald wiped my memory and turned me into her slave, she apparently took all my assets, too. Unless you know something I don’t. Did I like own the place I lived in? Ever mention a big bank account maybe no one else knew about? Did I have a safe?”

  He was being entirely frustrating. “I wasn’t going to blackmail you. I was going to ask you to help support her while I try to figure out if I can get my career back on track. That was all I was going to do. I want to get back into medicine if I can. It’s a demanding profession, and I can’t ask my mom to watch her all the time.”

  She hoped once they got back to the States and found a new normal that her mother would want to get back into life again. It wasn’t good for her to spend every waking hour living out her paranoia.

  He stepped up and put one big hand on Violet’s back, a tender look coming over his face. “I think I could be a good stay-at-home dad. All the kids treat me like a jungle gym. I’m also pretty much a big kid myself. Not that I can’t be responsible. And I bet Tag chipped me again. I cut out the last one because we were going into Kronberg and didn’t want the CIA guys to be able to follow us. But if I know Tag, he probably put it in my butt or somewhere it won’t be easy to get to, so you’ll always know exactly where I am. I’m sure he’ll give you the code if you adopt me.”

  “What?”

  “Sorry. I was kidding about the adoption part, but Tag jokes about us being puppies a lot. I told you I didn’t bring much of value to the table. Having a locator chip is one of the pluses. Unless you think it’s a negative, and then I can cut it out. Wouldn’t be the first or even the second time. If I can find it.” He frowned but it only made him look adorable.

  Like Steven had been when they were alone, when he let go of that ruthless will of his and his smile came from somewhere deep inside, some well of sweetness in the man.

  What if the drugs that had been used on him had burned away all the hard parts of his personality, leaving him with all the sweetness and light?

  Was his dark side gone or merely clinging to him like shadows, waiting to take over again?

  “I should go inside.” Standing out here with him was disconcerting.

  “You should get some rest but know that I’ll do whatever you need me to do, Roni. I’ll figure out how to get us the money we need. I can probably sell some plasma. Do you think the drugs fucked up my plasma? Shit. I said fuck. And shit. I probably shouldn’t cuss around the baby. I’m going to shut up now.” His hand came out, cupping the side of her face. “Except to say this. I missed you, Veronica. I didn’t know your name, but I missed you.”

  She was tearing up and she’d promised herself he wouldn’t get to her. She took a step back. “This was a mistake.”

  He stayed where he was, giving her space. “Sorry. I won’t touch you again if you don’t want me to, but that felt right. I’m not supposed to think about my past. That can get me in trouble, so I’ve started following my instincts and every instinct I have makes me want to get close to you, to be around you, to protect you.”

  “I only need some help to get back on my feet.” He was infinitely more dangerous than he’d been before. Or maybe she wasn’t as far from that naïve girl she’d been as she’d thought. Maybe that dumb girl had been waiting for him to show up again and touch her like she was precious.

  The elevator doors opened and a familiar woman stepped through. Rebecca Walsh hadn’t aged a day. She was lovely and still had a thing for cardigans. Her hands went to her hips as she took in the man in his hospital gown. “Owen texted me that we had a problem. Tucker, what about you’re not supposed to get out of bed do you not understand?”

  “You know my memory is shit, Doc. I mean, it’s bad. It’s faulty,” he said with a wince. “I’m going to get better about the potty mouth thing.”

  Rebecca turned her way and seemed to force a smile on her face. “Hello, Veronica. We didn’t get to talk earlier. I’m glad you’re okay. You disappeared off the face of the earth.”

  “And you left without saying good-bye.” Or warning her. She’d thought they were friends. Not the closest of friends, but at least friendly.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave everyone without an explanation, but things happened so quickly.” Rebecca’s face fell. “I would like to explain that to you, but it’s a long story.”

  “I doped her up with a time dilation drug and scared the holy hell out of her and she wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t,” Tucker said. “She freaked out and ran.”

  A shiver went up her spine.

  “Okay, maybe not such a long story.” Rebecca stared at Tucker, considering him. “But now I’m not certain why you did it. Being around you the way I have has made me reconsider. I think you might have been trying to force me out of McDonald’s team to save me.”

  Good, he’d tried to save Rebecca but left her behind for Dr. McDonald. Now that she knew a bit more about the doctor’s experiments, she had to wonder why she’d been spared. Had he thought about that when he’d left her there?

  Or had that been the day he’d been taken?

  Don’t believe what they say, Roni. I’m not who they say. It’s all for show.

  What had he meant? At the time she’d thought he meant his outward asshole was in place to show everyone he was in charge. He was young to be in his position, and he wasn’t the first leader who overdid his boss persona.

  What if he’d meant something else?

  She’d recognized one of those men who’d stood near Tucker. Her eyes had lingered on him, but it wasn’t until this moment she realized who he was. The dark-haired one. She needed to see him, to make sure her memory wasn’t playing tricks on her.

  That last day had been playing in a loop through her head ever since the moment she’d realized Steven was alive.

  “We should talk about all of this tomorrow,” Rebecca was saying. “Maybe we can have breakfast. I can fill you in on everything I know. I promise I won’t hold anything back this time, Roni. For now, Tucker needs some rest and I need to run a few more tests. I’m worried his cardiac event was connected to something I’m missing.”

  “I want to put my daughter to bed,” Tucker insisted. “Then I’ll
let you do whatever you like, but I want to say good night to her and make sure she and Roni have everything they need.”

  “Daughter?” Rebecca’s eyes widened. “Oh my god. I didn’t know. I thought you were playing with fire, but I didn’t realize you’d actually slept with him.”

  Violet yawned, giving her mother the perfect excuse to get out of this conversation. She needed some distance, needed a night to think about what had truly happened. Steven was back and she didn’t know how she felt.

  What if he hadn’t meant to leave her that day? She’d believed Dr. McDonald, but McDonald was a liar and a criminal. What if he’d really had a job interview and McDonald had taken him into custody to protect her research? Had that been why the dark-haired man had been at her side that day?

  Solo had said they needed her to put together those last days in Munich and Paris. She hadn’t once considered that the reality she knew could be false.

  What if he’d meant everything he’d said to her? What if he’d kissed her and promised to come back to her and she’d listened to a woman she knew was evil? She hadn’t even questioned McDonald, hadn’t tried to contact Steven to confirm he was a jerk.

  She hadn’t seen him again. According to everyone he hadn’t even gone back to Munich to clear out his apartment. He’d simply moved to Argentina.

  Who did that?

  “Veronica, are you all right?” Rebecca was looking at her. “You went a little pale.”

  “Are you okay?” Tucker was right back to her side. “She’s been through a lot today.”

  “You have, too,” Rebecca argued. “You need to be careful until we’re sure that drug Green gave you isn’t still having an effect.”

  The door to her room came open and Solo strode out, Taggart hard on her heels.

  “What do you mean someone’s trying to break into your place?” Taggart asked. “Like right now?”

  Solo pressed the button for the lift. “I don’t know. I only know my perimeter alarms went off and I need to figure out what’s going on. No one is supposed to know I’m here in London. I assume you didn’t send someone to loot the place.”

  “Of course not. All my puppies are accounted for. I’ll go with you.” Taggart looked over at Tucker, pointing a finger his way. “If you don’t follow Dr. Walsh’s orders, I’ll let Owen tranq you. He’s been practicing. You’ve gotten to talk to your girl. She’s not going anywhere. Get back to bed. Your daughter doesn’t need to lose her father to a heart attack right after she’s found him. Ms. Croft, your mother is going to be a pain in my ass. Tell her someone will walk her through our security protocols in the morning. If you need anything, call Damon. Everyone get to bed. We’ll sort this out in the morning.”

  The doors opened and Solo stepped in. “I’ll be back tomorrow. Don’t worry. You’re safe here.”

  “What’s going on?” The dark-haired man from before walked up and he was carrying clothes on hangers. A shirt and jeans, sneakers in his other hand. He was a spectacularly handsome man, but then McDonald had surrounded herself with those.

  “You were there.” She was sure of it now. She rubbed Violet’s back, the motion as much for her comfort as the baby’s. “You were McDonald’s bodyguard on the last day I saw Steven. You showed up at his flat with her. You took his things, his laptop and tablet.”

  The dark-haired man looked stunned. “I did what?”

  “Robert?” Tucker turned his way. “God, she’s right. You were there. I was there. I can remember everything was green and the sun was starting to come up. There was a grave. I was…I had something to do. How did I know you? I knew you.”

  She watched in horror as Tucker went white and fell to the floor.

  Chapter Four

  Tucker paced, the early morning light illuminating the conference room. Was Veronica awake yet? He wasn’t sure what he wanted. He wanted her to be able to rest, but he also wanted to see her. He hadn’t stopped thinking about her all night. Even as the docs had run every test they could on him, his mind had been on his Vs—Veronica and Violet.

  They were sweet and innocent and he knew he should hold himself back. He wasn’t innocent. He had blood on his hands. He’d done bad things, things he couldn’t even remember doing. He should help them and then walk away.

  He wasn’t going to do it. He was going to win her over and before she figured out what was happening, he would be in her bed, sitting at her breakfast table and taking their daughter to daddy and me classes. If her mom didn’t murder him in his sleep. Also if he didn’t get arrested and thrown in jail.

  Minor problems. He’d gotten around far worse.

  “You should sit down,” Robert said from his chair. “If one of the docs catches you walking around, you’ll find yourself right back in bed.”

  One coma, a minor heart attack, and a fainting episode and suddenly he was an invalid. “I’m fine. I just needed to eat.”

  “According to Rebecca, hunger wasn’t the problem,” Rob pointed out. “She thinks it’s all tied to the way the drug worked on your brain. Your whole system goes haywire when you try to remember.”

  He understood what Rebecca and Stephanie had been talking about. There was a chemical reaction in his brain that hadn’t been there before. His neuro pathways were attempting to heal themselves in a way no one understood. He was some kind of walking medical miracle. Or a time bomb that could explode at any moment.

  “I can’t not think about it. Veronica needs to know what happened. She’s important, Rob.”

  “I get that, and I’ll do anything I can to help you,” he replied. “I talked to Ariel last night. She wants to try hypnosis again. I know it didn’t work the first time but…”

  He didn’t need a but. “I’ll do it. I’ll try anything, man.”

  He hadn’t betrayed Roni. He knew it deep in his bones. There was something else here, some truth that was waiting be uncovered, and it would explain everything. “I’ll even let Rebecca stand right there with her paddles in hand in case my heart goes wonky again.”

  “You know Rebecca wasn’t the one who shocked you. She wasn’t there at the time. Veronica did it. At least that’s what Owen said. He told me she stepped right in and told Tag to get out of her way and brought you back from the brink.”

  He touched his chest. How close had he come? Would he be here if she hadn’t decided to show up at exactly the right time? He couldn’t see it as anything but the universe telling him she was important. “She was a good doctor.”

  He hated the fact that he didn’t know how he knew that, but he let it go. He wasn’t going to spend this day sick. He wanted to spend it getting to know his daughter.

  God, he had a daughter.

  “I’m sure she was. Kronberg goes after the best,” Robert said. “She must have been great in her interviews. Technically she didn’t fit the profile they usually went with.”

  “What does that mean?”

  Robert sat up, leaning his elbows on the big table. “Jax has a fat stack of information on her. We’ve been studying her for months.”

  “I know. Everyone hoped she was the one who had the information we need.” They’d headed to Munich because they believed Kronberg Pharmaceuticals had Dr. McDonald’s records, specifically notes that would lead them to their true identities. But they’d also discovered that a list of every person in the medical, political, and military fields who had known and supported McDonald’s research had existed at Kronberg.

  Tucker wanted that list. Tucker thought he might have had that list at one point.

  “I find it interesting that of all the interns Kronberg ever hired, only Veronica came from a state school,” Robert said.

  “There’s nothing wrong with state schools. When did you become a snob?” It wasn’t at all like Robert. And Veronica was smart. She might not be the wizard of the neuro world like Rebecca Walsh, but she had a good head on her shoulders and she would be a great doctor someday.

  They would work well together. They could open a practice
and…

  He took a deep breath and let it go, but it was there. He hadn’t been planning on leaving her. He’d been planning a life with her.

  What had happened to kill those plans?

  “I’m not a snob, but the directors at Kronberg certainly were,” Robert explained. “Look through the dossiers of the other employees. Harvard, Stanford, Oxford, the Karolinska Institute, Cambridge, the list goes on. The University of Texas at Houston is not their typical hunting grounds when it comes to interns. As far as I can tell, she’s the only state school intern in twenty years.”

  He didn’t like the sound of that.

  The door came open and Ezra Fain walked in, his laptop in hand. He nodded Tucker’s way. “Good to see you up and about. How are you feeling? I read Rebecca’s report.”

  He’d read it, too. He wasn’t getting back in bed. Well, not unless Veronica went with him. “I’m fine. I feel fine.”

  “Yeah, you’ll feel fine right up to the point you die,” Ezra said, sliding into his seat. “You need to listen to the doctors. We’ve all been worried about you.”

  There were things they hadn’t talked about. Well, he hadn’t talked about. “Did you…what did we do with Sasha?”

  Sasha. Obnoxious, snarky, sometimes mean Sasha. But Sasha had been his brother, too.

  Robert’s jaw tightened as he leaned back. “We had him cremated. He’s in a safe storage place right now. When we figure out who he was, I’ll take his family the remains.”

  “No movement on that?” he asked. “He might have had a daughter out there.”

  “Until we figure out a place to start from, I don’t know how we find his daughter,” Ezra said with a sigh. “Charlotte Taggart has connections in Russia. She’s put out some feelers, but we don’t know how old the kid would be. We don’t know who the mother is. It’s a needle in a big haystack. Don’t think it’s not on my mind. We owe Sasha. It’s one more reason for us to find the key.”