by Laurel Veil
“I’m sorry, honey.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Is everything OK?” she asked as she scraped her knife across the butter. Steam rose from the muffin that she’d just torn open.
“I had a bad day.”
“I’m listening if you want to talk.”
I felt much better when I’d finished telling her everything. After I showered, I went into the bedroom that Grandma said was mine. As I lay there, I thought about how they’d barely mentioned Dani tonight on the local news. When she first disappeared, it was all they talked about. I’d seen enough TV shows to know that it would eventually become a cold case, and the killer would go unpunished. I couldn’t let that happen. She didn’t deserve what had happened to her, and at the very least, she deserved justice. She’d been a good person. She was kind to animals and everyone she knew. And she’d really liked me. She was never anything but nice, and I had been a bad friend. I felt my throat tighten with regret as I tried to fight back the tears that were welling up in my eyes. I had never had a real friend. Maybe that was why I didn’t recognize that that’s what she was. And now she was gone.
I let myself mourn for her until my eyes were swollen with grief, then suddenly, I stopped crying just as quickly as I had started. If I had to solve her murder myself, I would see to it that Dani got justice.
8.
I was grateful it was Saturday and that I could’ve slept in. But, I couldn’t. My mind was churning too fast to rest. I had to figure out who killed Dani. I knew it was a long shot. It could’ve been anybody—most likely a stranger, but I had to do something. I would at least start with the people Dani knew and go from there. I began making a mental list of potential suspects. Jace. It couldn’t be him though. I’d known him my entire life. Autumn’s boyfriend, Kayne. He was definitely a possibility. He was really into Dani that night at the park and it was borderline creepy.
I scarfed down the pancakes Grandma had made. “Are you in a hurry?” she asked.
I hesitated. I couldn’t tell her what I was up to, she would try to talk me out of it, and she wouldn’t want me walking around alone. “I’m just going to go check on Mom.” I shrugged. “That’s all.”
“That’s nice.” She smiled and took a sip of coffee. “I’m glad you have something to do. I was going to go into town today to get a trim.” She touched her hair self-consciously. “You’re welcome to come along if—”
“No. I mean, that’s OK. I’ve got plenty to keep me busy today.”
“I’ll drop you off on my way.”
“No that’s alright, you don’t need to.”
“Of course, I need to. You can’t walk alone.”
“I-I won’t be alone.” I couldn’t believe how easily I just lied to my grandma.
Grandma’s brows raised as if to say, who are you going to be with? “Well?” she asked.
“I’m doing stuff with Nolan today.” She smiled sheepishly. “What? It’s not like that, Grandma.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“We’re going to go see my mom.”
She placed her coffee cup in the sink and grabbed her purse. “See you this evening.”
“Have fun,” I managed.
“You too,” she said suggestively.
“Ha-ha, Grandma.” I finished clearing the table, then hurried to my bedroom to get ready. I pulled my hair up in a high ponytail then rubbed some gloss across my mouth. Ava crossed my mind, and I thought I’d give making duck lips in the mirror a try.
“Quack, quack.”
“Shit! Nolan! Oh my gosh!” My heart was pounding. “How long have you been standing there? What the hell are you even doing here?”
He was laughing so hard now he held his stomach.
“I was washing my truck and—”
“You mean your dad’s truck?”
He smiled sarcastically. “Not for much longer. Anyway, your grandma yelled out the window before she took off and said you were waiting on me.” He rubbed his lips together. “I had no idea you were going to all this trouble.”
I gave him a hard shove when he stepped closer, and he laughed again. “I told her we were hanging out today so she would leave.”
“So . . . what are you—or should I say, we—doing?” he asked suspiciously as he followed me to the den and watched as I sat on the sofa and slipped on my tennis shoes.
“We aren’t doing anything.” I didn’t think I should tell him what I was doing either.
“My dad’s letting me use his truck today; that’s why I was washing it.”
“So?” I said as I stood, wondering why that was supposed to matter to me. He was wasting my time, and I needed to get out of there.
“So, I can drive you wherever you need to go.”
I froze. This could definitely be helpful.
“But you’ll have to tell me what you’re up to.”
I let out a long, deep sigh. “Dani was barely even mentioned on the news last night. The police are forgetting about her. I want to find out who—you know.”
He was quiet for a moment, I supposed mulling over how he was going to tell me I was an idiot. “How exactly are you planning to do this?”
How was I planning to do this? “Well, I’m not exactly sure. I realize it could be anyone, but I thought I would first look into the people who knew her. Like Kayne.”
“Autumn’s boyfriend? Your sister’s boyfriend?”
“The party, the other night at the park—you should’ve seen him. He was so into her; I think he would’ve dumped Autumn if he had had the chance.”
“So? Dani was pretty. He thought she was hot. That doesn’t make him a murderer.”
“You had to be there. He gave me the creeps. And besides, I have to start somewhere. So . . .”
“OK.”
“Whattaya mean?”
“I believe you—that you saw something that went beyond attraction. Something creeped you out. So, what are you planning to do about it? Are you heading over to his house?”
“No way!” Just the thought of that made my stomach feel twisty.
“Well, you were going somewhere.”
I let myself fall in defeat on the sofa. “I’m such a moron.” I covered my face from embarrassment. I could feel Nolan’s weight as he sank into the cushion next to me. He tugged at my hands until they were away from my face.
“Why are you a moron? Because you want justice for your friend? That doesn’t make you a moron. It makes you a good friend.”
I was just starting to feel better until he said I was a good friend. I cringed with guilt.
“What is it?”
“I wasn’t that great of a friend. Dani was. I could’ve been better. Way better.” I looked up at Nolan, and our eyes locked. I felt butterflies. I couldn’t believe it. I had never felt that with him before. I felt shy all of a sudden, so I looked down. It was only then that I realized that he was still holding my hands so I pulled them away.
I felt bad because I thought for a moment, I might have hurt his feelings, but when I worked up the nerve to look back up at him, he was wearing a lopsided grin. I rolled my eyes and shoved him. “Go away, Nolan.”
“Tell me where you were going.”
“I was going to walk to Autumn’s and just talk to her.”
“You seriously think she would tell you anything about Kayne? Did you forget how defensive she was about him the other day?”
“I know, but that was her initial reaction. Everything had just happened. Maybe now that some time has gone by, maybe she’s seen something and maybe she’ll be willing to talk.”
Nolan shook his head. “Even if he confessed to her, I don’t think she would ever turn him in. She’s obsessed with him.” Nolan could see an idea was hitting me. “What is it?”
“What you just said. You know what Autumn sounds like? The kind of girl that would kill to keep her guy if she felt threatened.”
“You don’t seriously believe . . .”
“I
want to say no. But then again, I’ve heard worse.”
♦ ♦ ♦
“Stop. Drop me off here,” I told Nolan before we reached Autumn’s house. “She probably won’t talk to me, but it would be less likely if you were with me.”
“Take as long as you need. I’ll wait here.”
I nodded and made my way around the back of the house to Autumn’s bedroom and tapped on the window. She pulled the curtain back expectantly and then smirked with disappointment when she saw that it was me. She reached up, unlocked the window, then went back to her bed and picked up a magazine. I raised the window and climbed inside. “Thanks for the help,” I said.
“Whatta you want?” she asked, sounding bored out of her mind. I supposed that was a good sign of her innocence. I would think if she’d just murdered someone, she would be a little on edge right about now. And I supposed that meant she wasn’t suspicious that she might be dating a killer either. “Hello?”
What was I going to say? I hadn’t thought this through. If she even thought for a second, I was accusing her or her darling Kayne of anything she’d throw me out. “I-I just needed someone to talk to. Ya know? About what happened. Dani was my friend. I still can’t believe she’s gone.”
I couldn’t believe it when I suddenly got a brief glimpse of the Autumn I used to know. I actually saw sympathy in her eyes when she put the magazine down. “I guess I should've checked on you.” She now played nervously with the fringe that trimmed a small, decorative pillow. “How are you doing?”
I sat gingerly on the corner of her bed. “Not so good. I miss her.” Autumn’s cat, Pepper, crawled out from under her bed and began rubbing against my leg as if consoling me.
Autumn seemed to genuinely feel bad for me. “Sorry,” she said softly.
“It seems like the police are already starting to forget about her. That means whoever did that to her won’t be caught.” I paused. “Doesn’t that scare you? It scares me.”
“I guess I never really thought about it. I didn’t like her. I just figured, whoever killed her, well, they didn’t like her either. I didn’t think about the possibility that they could kill again.”
“You didn’t really know Dani, did you? You were only around her that night in the park?”
“I didn’t have to know her. I know her type. She thought she was so beautiful and that everyone wanted her.”
Nothing could’ve been further from the truth. I knew it would be useless to defend Dani. Autumn had her mind made up, and I would only spark her anger. But I had to say something. I couldn’t sit quietly like I had that day at the coffee shop with Ava and Riley. “She really wasn’t like that. Actually, she wasn’t like that at all.”
“Whatever.”
“Have you heard any gossip about who might have killed her?” I asked.
“Some people are putting their money on Nolan.”
“Nolan?” My heart started to race. “Why?”
She shrugged. “I guess because he was the last person with her that night.”
“It wasn’t Nolan. That’s— just stupid,” I said. “I gotta go.”
“What’s the matter with you?”
Just then Lance knocked and opened Autumn’s bedroom door at the same time. “Why is Nolan parked out front?” Lance was a borderline genius. He’d always been a straight-A student. But sometimes he could be an idiot.
Autumn’s brows furrowed then a look of realization made her eyes large. “Oh my gosh. He’s waiting for you. He brought you here.” Her smile got even bigger. “That’s why you’re defending him. You like him.”
“No, I don’t.”
Lance was smiling now. “Does our Noelle have a crush?” For a moment, the teasing made me feel like we were kids again. But things quickly took a turn for the worse when Lance began moaning and making obnoxious kissing sounds. Autumn was laughing hysterically. Lance then blocked the window so I couldn’t leave. It no longer felt like lighthearted; they were bullying me.
“Shut up, Lance!” I tried to brush past him, but he grabbed my shoulders tightly and pushed me back. At that point, my annoyance turned to fear, and I was willing to do or say anything to get him to stop.
Before I had a chance to second guess myself on whether I should say anything, the words were already leaving my mouth. “Where were you the night Dani disappeared?” He stopped abruptly.
“Seriously?” snapped Autumn. It wasn’t surprising that it took a mere half a second for her to jump to her brother’s defense. “Are you freaking kidding me?”
I shrugged. “I guess everyone’s a suspect.”
“Well, everyone includes you too,” said Autumn. “And those little skanks you hang around.”
Her words jarred me. Even though I had teased about Ava with Nolan, I had never seriously considered the possibility that Ava and Riley could’ve done anything to Dani.
Just then, Autumn and Lance’s mom stepped into the doorway. “What’s going on in here?” she demanded.
When she saw me, her face turned into a scowl. “What’s she doing here?”
“Nothing,” said Autumn.
“Nothing sounded like something.” She looked at me. “You need to leave.”
I started toward the door, and she stepped forward so I couldn’t pass. “Go out the way you came.”
“Mom,” Lance chastised.
I looked at Autumn, and she averted her eyes. I felt humiliated as I slinked out the window like an unwanted stranger. Even Pepper hissed at me before darting back under the bed.
I could feel myself wanting to cry, but there was no way I was going to let them get to me. I hated them. I had forgotten about Nolan until I saw his truck. Instantly my heart began to pound, and my eyes welled with tears. I gritted my teeth. I wasn’t about to cry in front of him. I took off walking the other direction. I couldn’t let him see me. I wanted nothing more than to be left alone.
I heard Nolan’s truck roar to life. Good! Get out of here! But of course, Nolan didn’t leave. The sound of his truck came closer until he was beside me and he rolled down his window. “Get in.”
I continued walking a few more yards, and he followed. I knew he wouldn’t leave me so, reluctantly, I opened the door and climbed in.
He didn’t bombard me with a thousand questions like I thought he would. Instead, he reached over and pulled my seatbelt around me and fastened it. He then turned up the radio and we drove without speaking for almost an hour.
We made our way down a winding, dirt road and parked when we came to a small lake, in the middle of nowhere, that I didn’t even know existed. He switched off the ignition and walked around to my side and opened the door. He nodded toward the lake as he took my hand and led me to the end of a long, wooden pier.
There, we sat in silence, legs swinging off the edge, and watched the sun lower in the sky. I slipped off my shoes and rolled up my jeans and let my toes tap the surface of the water. It was too cold to stick my feet all the way in.
“So, what happened back there?” asked Nolan.
“Well, I’m pretty sure Kayne, Autumn, and Lance aren’t killers. But I guess I already knew that.”
“That’s good news, though, right?”
I shrugged. “I suppose. But we still don’t know who the killer is.”
“I wish we knew too but thank God it’s not someone in your family.”
“Pft. Family.”
“Why were you so upset?”
“Autumn and I were actually getting along, then Lance walked in. It sort of felt like old times for a second, but then teasing turned into fighting, and the next thing I knew, Autumn was defending Lance and as usual, it was them against me. Then their mom came in and kicked me out.”
“Harsh.”
“Yeah. But it’s nothing new. You know, I always blamed Autumn for turning Lance against me, but I’m pretty sure it was their mom who turned Autumn. Her mom was able to tolerate me until I got older and started looking like my mom. Anyway, whatever. It doesn’t matter.”<
br />
We watched a family of ducks float across the lake. “So, what now?” asked Nolan. “Who’s next on your list of suspects?”
“Actually . . . Autumn did give me a couple of suggestions.”
Nolan arched his brows with curiosity. “Who?”
“Ava, Riley, and . . . you.”
9.
Nolan laughed so hard he let himself fall back on the pier. I joined him, and we continued laughing until we had tears in our eyes. Once our laughter had run its course, we lay there quietly staring up at the clouds. He had been right. A drive to a lake was just what we needed.
