Collide

by Shelly Crane

  It had been three weeks down there and as Merrick said supplies were running low. Today, they would make a decision as to who would head out for supplies on the next trip. Merrick had bought a little hand held radio on our first trip and listened daily to see what was going on with the world.

  Things were getting worse, but not as quick as we thought. Not knowing how much longer we could stay here, we all decided that since I had the Costco card and we already knew basically what to do, that Merrick, Jeff and I would take Bobby’s van to the store and stock up for a couple more weeks at least.

  Merrick seemed a little reluctant for me to go this time, going on about how it wasn’t necessary to put me in danger but Jeff conceded that they needed me for my membership card. Nice. Hopefully, we’d have no problems in the big, busy store and could get in and out quickly. We’d leave in a couple days, early.

  I placed my curtain sheets up over our window but this place was still devoid of any real privacy. The walls and windows were so thin you can hear pretty much anything that was said in the rooms, even with the doors closed if you were close enough.

  I was finishing up putting on the last of my purse size vanilla lotion on my legs in my room, just having gotten out of the shower. I didn’t think to close the door for that but when Merrick and Bobby walked by and saw me in my shorts and tank top, lotioning my leg propped against the bed side, I quickly wished I had closed that dang door as I felt the blush come up my face and neck.

  Merrick did the usual, quick intake of breath, weird face, turn away to be a gentleman. Bobby, on the other hand gawked shamelessly, tilting his head and even stopping to stare and smiled villainously, winking.

  As I quickly tried to straighten up and close my door, I saw Merrick pushing Bobby’s back forward, telling him to move along I guess. Bobby took it as playful man behavior but I knew better.

  Merrick didn’t even understand that kind of stuff, not really. He was pushing him telling to leave or he’d make him leave. I kind of felt weird, about it but in a good way. I’d never really had someone defend me before Merrick, besides Danny, and brothers didn’t really count.

  Bobby had been not taking hints left and right these past couple weeks but Merrick and I sat or laid down and talked in the basketball court sometimes or in the club chairs in the hall. Not touching too much since that day in my room, but talking was good, and sitting close was getting to be more comfortable for both of us. Or uncomfortable, as I was becoming more aware of the spark. The tingle of electricity that shot through my skin without my permission every time Merrick laid a finger on me.

  That first day after our embarrassing confessing encounter in my room was sure to be awkward to say the least. It was in the kitchen at breakfast, after everyone else was through. I was attempting to reach a cereal bar from the shelf and silently cursing the person who had moved them to way up there and then a hand came to my rescue from behind me.

  I turned and he was smiling crookedly and sheepishly, holding out the bar for me to take. I purposely let our fingers touch when I took it to see his reaction. Other than a hint of amusement in his eyes, he stayed perfectly calm.

  “Thanks,” I told him. “You always seem to be saving me in the kitchen.”

  I laughed a short snort of a laugh.

  “No problem. That’s what Keepers are for.”

  “I’m seeing that.” I smiled. “I seriously think we need to invest in a stool. I mean, it’s degrading to have to ask for assistance every time I want breakfast, don’t you think?”

  He laughed and I laughed. It seemed comfortable, not half as awkward as I had imagined it all would be.

  “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Thanks. You want some coffee?” I asked him, grabbing two mugs from the hooks.

  “Uh...sure. I’ll try a cup.” He smiled making it hard to breath let alone remember how to pour coffee. “I’ve never had it before.”

  “Well...don’t judge all coffee off of this coffee. It’s not as good as it can be, trust me. I made great coffee at home but we have limited resources here.”

  He thanked me, taking the mug and took a hesitant sip, sucking in a breath as it burned his lip. I felt bad for not warning him but fought back a laugh at the same time at his face when he finally got a sip down.

  “Well?” I asked.

  “It’s...good.”

  Lie. I laughed out loud because his face was priceless. He hated it, completely hated it.

  “You won’t hurt my feelings, Merrick. I didn’t even make it. I told you it wasn’t that good down here.”

  “Well, it’s odd tasting.”

  “You hate it.”

  “No...”

  “Merrick, You can’t lie to me,” I reminded him.

  “Ok...I hate it.”

  I laughed again as he still continued to force himself to sip it and make the most hilarious faces of disgust.

  “You don’t have to drink it, Merrick! Really! Put the coffee down!” I pounded my palms down in the air for emphasis.

  “Oh, thank you!” he groaned, pouring it down the sink and rinsing the cup. “You really like that?”

  “Well, most of the time. It’s mostly just addiction at this point, I’m sure.”

  I chuckled as I drank my horrible coffee and we ate our cereal bars at the counter. He lifted to sit beside me on the counter so I lifted myself up as well.

  “So...how can you be addicted to coffee? Or were you just joking again?” he asked with a little smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

  I laughed as I explained my coffee situation to him as he smiled and listened intensely. Easy breezy conversation flowed like that from pretty much then on for which I would be eternally grateful for.

  Merrick was making points to touch me more here and there, slowly easing into a routine of it. Helping me up off the floor with his hand outstretched for me or opening the door and guiding me in with his hand on my back, barely. Being my helper in the kitchen for meal time and dishes and grabbing the things I couldn’t reach, brushing our fingers when he handed me things.

  He even tucked a stray curl of hair behind my ear once in the middle of one of our conversations, like it was totally normal, sending goose bumps down my neck and arms. I’d never had anyone do that to me before. Seen it in the movies, though, the girls going all glaze eyed when some guy ran his hands through her hair and I never got the whole thrill about it, until it was done to me. It was amazing and worth every movie fetish made about it. It was so intimate and sweet.

  I wondered if he noticed that I noticed what he was doing. Testing me.

  Over these past days, he has told me all about his other charges and his three trips to earth for Orville. Danny had even liked that one.

  Danny joked that I was spending more time with his guardian than he was, which was true. Other people noticed as well. Celeste asked me once what is was like to kiss an alien. I could only laugh. Hard.

  Jeff and I spoke some. I liked it because he didn’t feel any attachment for me, so he didn’t spare my feelings on anything. He was always straight up and truthful, about their work, about the Lighters, about Merrick’s thoughts. Though I felt some guilt, he had watched my life like a television program for 20 years, so I deserved a little insight too.

  Calvin, one of the younger boys that I didn’t remember from the first meeting had begun to blossom. He had brown hair and big brown eyes, always wearing funny t-shirts. He ran through the halls and tried to play with Celeste, the unfortunate next to youngest member of our clan and not happy about it. Or maybe it was Celeste’s doll like qualities that attracted him. She tried to spend every extra second of her time in our room with Danny.

  Danny didn’t mind.

  She managed to grab a few play dates with Calvin, out of pity. He took to me as well. He caught me humming, possibly singing quietly in the wash room one day. He begged me relentlessly to sing to him since then. I didn’t understand it. Why would someone want to hear someone sing to them other t
han their mother? Lillian filled me in and said his mom, Lana, was deaf. How had I missed that in the beginning? We didn’t see her much but as horrible as I felt about not knowing that his mom was deaf, I wasn’t a very good singer and had no intentions of making a debut. On purpose.

  “Please, Sherry! Sing anything you want. Please.”

  A seven year olds pleas were hard to deny but I stood my ground.

  “Calvin, I’m sorry. I’m not a good singer. Why don’t you go ask Celeste?”

  “She won’t either,” he said sulking, kicking his sneakers on the floor, making scuff marks.

  “Maybe one of the guys will play basketball with you? I bet Merrick or Ryan would if you’d ask.”

  Ryan, a young surfer looking guy, was Calvin’s Keeper but Calvin seemed almost scared of him. I’d seen Ryan try to make an effort, help him in the kitchen, ect, but Calvin always rejected him. Who knew what these people saw and heard before they came here. I certainly couldn’t imagine being his age and dealing with things like this.

  “No. It’s ok. I’ll just go see what my mom’s up to.”

  As I watched him sulk and walk away, he reminded me so much of Danny when he was little. Kid had no one here and a mom that no one knew how to talk to. Poor guy.

  The next day I took it upon myself to organize a game of basketball to lift Calvin’s spirits. I went hunting for Danny and found him.

  And Celeste.

  Kissing in the foyer by the elevator, off in a darker corner.

  Not just kissing as he had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, bending her back a little and her hands were in his hair. I heard her small groan, almost a whimper and I couldn’t quiet the gasp that escaped and they quickly parted and looked at me, mouths gaped open.

  Torn between scolding him and running away I decided to proceed with my original plan with hands on hips and chin raised.

  “Uh...I was coming to see if ya’ll wanted to play some basketball. Calvin’s been a little restless lately, so I wanted to help him blow off some steam and feel better,” I said trying to keep my eyes on them but finding it impossible, eyes drifting to the ceiling, floor tiles, my shoes.

  “I’m game,” Danny said then cleared his throat. “Celeste, you want to play too?”

  “Sure,” she said cheerily but refused to meet my gaze as she followed Danny out into the hallway.

  How the heck were they kissing already? I mean Merrick was in love with me and I’d only even hugged him once and never kissed him. It didn’t seem fair at all. I wanted to kiss him but he was taking it all very slow.

  I called out to Danny to get a couple others to play as I went to grab water bottles for everyone and to escort Calvin personally to his game.

  When I entered his room he was wearing a “More Cowbell” t-shirt and I felt a swell of pride that he would know anything about one of my favorite Saturday Night Live episodes at his young age. He was ecstatic and bouncing on his heels as we made our way down the hall.

  When we got there Ryan, his Keeper, and Merrick had joined Danny and Celeste and were warming up inside the basketball room.

  I met Merrick’s eyes from across the room and we each did one of those slowly growing wide smiles. I felt my cheeks tinge with pink.

  “Hey, Calvin!” Ryan shouted, but then realized how the room had great acoustics and lowered the volume. “Are you ready to show us how to play some ball?”

  “I believe the correct term is ‘school’ Ryan. And yes, we are ready. We got Calvin,” Celeste teased, taking a defensive stance, her hands on her knees.

  “Oh! Are you gonna take that from a girl, Ryan?” Calvin chimed in and it made me smile to see him so easily thrust into the camaraderie.

  Not to mention the fact that he actually spoke directly to his Keeper.

  “Am I not supposed to?” Ryan said looking genuinely puzzled, which made everyone laugh, except Merrick, who was just as clueless.

  After a brief explanation on how guys don’t “take smack, especially from girls” from Calvin, and a quick run through of how to play, we started a game of three on three. The Keepers and I, against the Specials.

  Calvin was pretty impressive to be a shorty, like me. Celeste was busy trying to look cute, throwing her leg back when she tossed the ball and then glancing at Danny, but still managed to get some in.

  Merrick and Ryan seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves, though they were terrible at dribbling, shooting, pretty much all of it. They laughed and got into it. We pushed each other playfully and smacked talked. It was hilarious.

  Once, I tripped over my undone shoe lace and started to fall backwards but Merrick somehow was there to grab me from behind under my arms. I turned and thanked him. He wiped at a piece of sweaty hair stuck to my face and was hit in the head with the ball by Calvin during the distraction. Calvin doubled over laughing. Merrick laughed too and then bent down to tie my shoe for me, which I thought was just about the sweetest thing ever.

  “Aho! Check it! That’s game!” Danny yelled loudly as he scored the winning shot.

  Final score. 21 - 7 Specials. Ouch.

  I mock punched Merrick and Ryan both in the arm and scolded them for letting us lose to a bunch of kids but quickly had to explain that it was a joke, and they did eventually laugh.

  “Hey, don’t make fun of me. I’m new to all things sports related. None of my charges were ever really interested in sports before Danny,” Merrick explained as we all made our way out to the hall.

  The others left but Merrick and I lingered in the doorframe.

  “Really? Hmm. I wouldn’t really call Danny into sports. I don’t think couch lounging is considered one.”

  He chuckled.

  “No. Probably not, but you guys played a lot of basketball and Frisbee together. And he did play t-ball once. And football his freshman year.”

  “Wow,” I muttered, completely astounded at the non-chalantness of it all.

  “What?” he asked settling in across from me, leaning on the doorjamb with his hands in his pockets.

  “It’s just so strange. You knowing everything about us.”

  His eyes immediately looked down at the floor guiltily and he started rubbing the back of his neck as if uncomfortable.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No,” I hurried to say and touched his cheek to bring his face back up. He didn’t flinch but took a deep breath as I slowly let my hand fall back to my side. “That’s not what I meant at all. I meant strange good, not strange bad.”

  He tilted his head and looked in my eyes for a long moment.

  “You are spectacular,” he murmured in a low voice, seemingly more to himself than to me.

  “No I’m not.”

  “Yeah. You are.” He stepped a little closer. And then another step. My breath caught. We were mere inches apart. He closed his eyes for a second and opened them slowly. He smiled bashfully. “Sorry,” he muttered and tried to step back but I grabbed his shirt with my free hand to stop him.

  “I don’t want you to be sorry.” I decided to be bold. “You can invade my space anytime.”

  What?! Not that bold. Holy cow. I felt my cheeks flush and I smiled trying to make a joke out of it but eventually just looked away.

  “I love that, you know.” He caressed my cheek with the backs of his fingers and I looked back up to him. “Even your face doesn’t let you lie. I always know that what I see is what you get with you. You aren’t hiding things. You are completely honest and good, to the core.”

  I had no idea what to say to that.

  “Um...”

  “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

  “You didn’t, I’m just not good at this,” I admitted feeling even more blush creeping up.

  “At what?”

  “At...you know. Anything.” I laughed. “I have no idea how to handle these situations.”

  “What situations are these?” he asked, his eyes following every move my face made making it impossible to look away or escape the depth of th
ose penetrating and honest eyes.

  “Well, you know, uh, dating situations.”

  “Are we dating? Is that what this is?”

  I looked at him and he was completely serious. He had no idea about any of this any more than I did. With Matt he was so sure of himself and he dominated everything in our relationship, I didn’t have to think or act or make decisions. He did it all for me. He never even asked me if I wanted to be exclusive. It was implied by him and I didn’t think to disagree. Now, I didn’t know how to proceed.

  “Um, I don’t know. I have no idea what this is. Dating doesn’t sound like it covers it to me,” I confessed softly.

  “Do you like it?” he asked just as softly. “Do you like what’s going on with us?”

  “Yes. I like it a lot.” As I spoke he grabbed my hand, which I’d forgotten was still touching him, and pulled it gently from his shirt and brought it down beside us lacing his fingers with mine. “Do you?”

  “This is more than I ever hoped for.” He watched our hands as he spoke and he laced and unlaced our fingers over and over. “I have no idea what I’m doing but I love spending time with you,” he confessed and smiled wistfully.

  “You’re doing everything exactly right,” I assured him. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to try to be something you’re not.”

  “And I don’t want you to feel pressured.” He straightened his back and looked suddenly serious. “Just because I...have certain feelings for you doesn’t mean that you have to return them.”

  “I know that. I like you. You’re not like any guy I’ve ever met.”

  “Well, I’m not like any guy you’ve met,” he said wistfully and managed a small chuckle.

  “And I’m happy about that.”

  I smiled and looked at him until he smiled too. I pulled my hands free and put my arms around his neck. His arms hugged me tightly and even lifted my toes from the floor a little. His hair tickled my arms and for some reason the smell of his soap and sweat on the skin of his neck was doing funny things to my senses. How had I dated someone for five months and never gotten goose bumps or butterflies... and never thought that was weird?