Visible Lives

by Stanley Bennett Clay

  Quincy laughed and said, “You’re never too old to have fun.” He then grabbed me. He put the remote back in my hand, stood behind me, reached his arms around and placed them on mine, guiding my hands and arms. “Just take your time, baby. Slow down,” he said in my ear.

  I bought the game and now I am addicted. I play when I come home from work. It’s totally relaxing.

  Besides, I need the practice because Quincy is extremely competitive. “You don’t want none of this,” he yells every time he scores. “I’m the king up in here.”

  I shake my head and put on my game face. “This is my kingdom,” I yell back. “Get off me and watch this drop in your face!” I score.

  Fun.

  Lots of fun.

  And, Quincy loves eating dishes from varied cultures.

  Indian.

  Ethiopian.

  Spanish.

  French.

  Italian.

  And we explore restaurant after restaurant.

  Feeding one another off each other’s plates.

  “Here baby, try this.” Quincy scoops up a forkful of food and feeds me.

  At the Ethiopian restaurant it’s customary to eat with your hands. So when the dishes arrived Quincy gathered the meat, vegetables, and bread between his fingers, reached across the table, and put his hand in my mouth. I slowly licked and sucked the food out of his hand. My head moving back and forth, then round and round. “You didn’t get all of it,” he said. “There is some left on my fingers.”

  I opened my mouth and Quincy fed each finger to me one at a time until I captured all the leftover food and juices.

  This turned Quincy on.

  As well as me.

  We rush home after dinner and finish devouring one another.

  For dessert.

  Quincy is the quintessential lover.

  Making love with him is like dew drops on a summer morning.

  Perfect.

  He makes love to every part of my body.

  From the balls of my feet to the top of my head.

  Quincy’s warm mouth succulently explores places that have been completely left desolate. Like a roving inquisitor Quincy reminds me what making love is all about.

  It isn’t fast.

  Quick.

  Or painful.

  He is tender.

  Passionate.

  Gentle.

  He whispers in my ear with each stroke.

  We work our bodies together in perfect rhythm.

  Having multiple orgasms in one night. Something I’d never experienced with any man.

  I also enjoy giving oral pleasure and satisfying him. I gently place his massive erect dick in my mouth and taste his juices.

  He is sweet like nectar.

  Whenever his pulsating dick jerks and he wants to pull out of my mouth I push his hands away and swallow all of him.

  He returns the favor.

  His tongue flickers around the head of my dick then he licks and sucks every inch of me.

  He won’t stop until I let go, shooting my juices in his mouth.

  He loves tasting and telling me, “Give me more. I want to taste all of you.”

  Then he crawls on his hands and knees, arching his back, lifting his fat bubble ass, wanting me to stroke him as he does me.

  I can’t and don’t get enough of Quincy.

  My mojo has been restored. I am refreshed and replenished.

  Every day I get my fill of Quincy.

  The most generous lover I have ever known.

  My days are easy.

  I am floating.

  Stress-free.

  Youthful.

  I am in love.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Chase, what is going on with you?” Ashley calls me right before lunch. I’ve been so caught up in Quincy I forgot, well actually, just have been too ashamed to tell her. I really don’t want to hear her mouth of how she was right.

  “You’re acting different,” she says.

  I chuckle. “Nothing is going on. Just work.”

  “Boy, I know you. I’ve haven’t hung out with you in weeks. We haven’t done any of our weekend brunches.”

  “I’m just…busy.” I smile.

  “Are you fucking your intern?”

  I start choking and coughing into the phone.

  “I knew it!” she screams. “Oh my gosh! How long have you been fucking him?”

  I hesitate a few moments before I say anything. “It’s been two months.”

  “What! And you didn’t even tell me?”

  “I was planning to, but everything happened so fast.”

  “You are something else,” she laughs. “I told you that you were a cougay. Now, fill me in.”

  I laugh and shake my head. I proceed to get my ace-in-the-hole caught up on all the details of my and Quincy’s relationship.

  After twenty minutes Ashley lets out a long sigh. “Wow! I can’t believe all this has been going on for two months and you didn’t even tell me. That is very shaday adieu.”

  Did she just call me shady? I pull the phone away from my ear and look at it.

  Yup, she sure did.

  Thanks to Ashley’s good friend, Kenya, who came up with the catchy phrase. Kenya is a freelance writer and she put it in a story she wrote on black gay life. The gay lingo caught on like wildfire in the gay community, and especially amongst women. Now, Ashley loves saying it every chance she gets.

  “Ashley, you know I am not shaday adieu. You are my best friend. I just didn’t want to hear you say that you were right.”

  “Well, damn, I was!”

  I laugh. “See, that’s why I didn’t say anything.”

  “He is working you over!” I hear her snap her fingers into the phone.

  “We are working each other over. Thank you.”

  “So, when is his last day?”

  “In two weeks,” I sigh. “I am trying not to think about it. Ashley, I am in love with him.”

  “Oooh, chile! Not you saying you’re in love. You are sprung. He must have some good dick.”

  “You’re silly.” I gaze up into the ceiling. “But for real, Ashley, he’s so different from every other guy I’ve been with. He’s smart, intelligent, fun, affectionate, and focused.”

  “Does he have a brother? Hell, any single available friends?”

  “Girl, you are crazy!”

  “No, I am serious!”

  “Ashley, I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you about my feelings for Quincy.”

  “I am too. Can your best friend get a hookup?”

  “I’ll call you later. I have a lot of work to catch up on. I have this upcoming award show and I really need to get the budget together.”

  “All right, boy. But, I am happy for you, Chase,” Ashley says.

  “Thank you.”

  “But I am serious. See if he has any friends.”

  “Good-bye, Ashley.”

  I shake my head and grab the menu book from my bottom desk drawer. I call Tony’s DiNapoli restaurant and place an order for delivery.

  Quincy pops in my head. The image of him smiling at me with his dazzling eyes and hearty chuckle brings a smile to my face.

  His soft touches.

  His soft breathing when we are sleeping together.

  His morning kisses.

  His evening kisses.

  We’ve planned to spend the last two weeks together before he leaves. I hate the thought of it, but I know he has to finish his last year at Stanford. I just wish he wasn’t on another coast. Quincy keeps reassuring me we will work it out. He will fly home on the holidays to be with me. He’s invited me to visit him, and to see some of his games at school, as well as those on the road.

  My office phone rings. The food delivery is downstairs. I have to go down to pick it up. Security doesn’t allow anyone upstairs who is not an employee of GBS Television.

  As I am walking down the hall toward the elevator bank a deep melodic voice calls my name.


  “Mr. Kennedy,” the voice resonates.

  I quickly turn.

  “Quincy?” I glance around to see if anyone is looking at us. “What’s going on? Do you need something?” I am truly happy to see him, but I maintain my composure. He strolls toward me with a huge grin on his face. He has his cell phone to his ear.

  He is pure perfection as his tall muscular body makes his way up the hall.

  Damn! I mumble to myself.

  “I just want you to say hello to a good friend of mines.” Quincy stands directly in front of me. His cologne rushes to my nostrils. His scent that I love to smell and hold fast in my memory fills my senses. Quincy hands me his cell phone.

  I look at him curiously as I slowly take the phone from his hand.

  He just smiles at me and nods.

  “Hello?” I ask.

  “Hello, Mr. Chase Kennedy. This is E. Lynn Harris.”

  I put my hand over my mouth. Excitement rushes over me.

  “Hello, Mr. Harris. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “It’s nice meeting you, too. And, please, call me E. Lynn.”

  “Okay, E. Lynn.” I gently punch Quincy in the arm. I am still trying to contain my enthusiasm. “I am a big fan of your work.”

  “Thank you, Chase. I really appreciate that. Quincy has told me a lot about you. I am coming to New York for some meetings next week. Hopefully we can all get together and grab something to eat.”

  “Yes. That would be great. I would love to.”

  “Good. Now, I love to eat, and I love me some soul food.”

  “Don’t worry. I know the perfect place in Harlem. Miss Maude’s Spoonbread. I highly recommend it.”

  “Well, good, Chase. I am looking forward to meeting you. Quincy is really in love with you. Every time we talk it’s Chase this, and Chase that. He’s my little brother, so I have to meet this man who has him smitten.”

  “I am flattered,” I laugh. “Hey, if your schedule is permitting, maybe we can catch The Lion King on Broadway. I have a good friend who is in the play.”

  “Sounds like a plan. I will make some time for that.”

  “Great. It was wonderful speaking with you, E. Lynn.”

  “It was great chatting with you as well, Chase.”

  I shake my head and chuckle as I return the phone to Quincy.

  “I have to go downstairs and get my food,” I say. “I’ll be right back.”

  “I’ll be here waiting on you,” Quincy whispers with a devilish grin on his face. He then places the phone to his ear and walks toward his cubicle.

  Chapter Seventeen

  When I make it back upstairs I look over to Quincy’s cubicle and he is not there. I do a quick glance over at my assistant’s desk. She is on the phone and typing on the computer.

  Quincy is not there.

  I do a scan down the hall.

  I don’t see Quincy anywhere.

  I step into the copy room and he is not there.

  I go to my office and plop in my chair.

  I can’t imagine where he has gone that quickly.

  I remove my food from the white plastic bag. I peel off the white carton lid from the aluminum container. Steam rises from the chicken and pasta simmering inside. I open the other container, and inside is my zucchini fried chips. I tear open the plastic, holding my utensils, and take the fork and swirl some pasta around it.

  I take a few bites and suddenly Quincy sticks his head inside my office and taps on my door. I wave him to come inside.

  “Hey, Mr. Kennedy.” Quincy walks in.

  “Hey, Quincy. What’s up?” I lay my fork down.

  Quincy looks over his shoulder to see if anyone is around. “Thank you for talking with E. Lynn.”

  “No problem. I am glad I had the opportunity. He seems like a very nice person.”

  “I told you he was mad cool.” Quincy slides his body in the chair in front of my desk. “He is so humble and easy to talk to.”

  “You should be happy to have a friend like him.” I pick up a zucchini chip and toss it in my mouth. “You want some?”

  “Naw, I’m good.” Quincy leans back in the chair. He drops his head and folds his arms. “I can’t believe I am leaving in a few weeks.”

  “I know. I’ve been thinking about that.”

  “You’re still coming out to California the first week of September?” Quincy asks as he lifts his head.

  “Of course. Nothing has changed.”

  “I really hope this school year goes fast.” Quincy unfolds his arms and puts his hands on his lap. “I can’t wait to come back home to you and to start working. Thanks for the hookup on the job in the talent department.”

  “No problem,” I say. “You’re very smart. You will do very well over there. Besides, I got to keep you close by.”

  Quincy snickers.

  “And this year will go by faster than you think,” I say. “But you got to stay focused on your grades and basketball. No distractions.” I stand and walk from behind my desk in front of Quincy.

  “I got it,” Quincy says, looking up at me. “I know what I have to do. I am just so happy and sad at the same time.”

  “Yeah, I know how you feel.” I step behind Quincy and walk toward my door. I peer out looking left then right. I push the door closed.

  Quincy stands and turns. He puts his hands in his pockets. “You don’t know how much you mean to me.”

  I slowly move toward Quincy. I feel my heart beginning to race. I want to rush into his arms.

  Kiss him.

  Make passionate love to him right here in my office.

  But I stop in my tracks. My eyes follow his hands as he pulls them from his pockets. In his right hand is a black velvet box.

  My heart is pounding.

  Leaping.

  Thumping.

  Quincy opens the box, revealing a blinding diamond ring.

  I can’t speak.

  Words have escaped my memory.

  I shake my head.

  I’m breathing heavy.

  “Chase, I love you.” Quincy moves closer. “I’ve never met a man who made me feel as whole and complete as you do. My heart beats joy because of your touch. It beats happiness because of your smile. It beats peace because of your love.” Quincy stands directly in front of me. “I know you are my soul mate.”

  I am still unable to move.

  Say anything.

  My eyes are transfixed by the ring.

  “I want to give you this ring as a symbol of my trust and commitment. A symbol of our love.” Quincy takes the ring from the box. “You have me. I’m yours. I just want you to be mines.” He takes my left hand and places the ring on my ring finger.

  “I don’t know what to say,” I stammer and start biting my lip.

  “Just say you’re mines.”

  I gaze up into Quincy’s eyes.

  They are soft.

  Welcoming.

  I look back down at the ring on my finger.

  Can I do this?

  Do I want to do this?

  He’s only twenty-two.

  I’m thirty-eight.

  He’s leaving in two weeks.

  I’m scared.

  Very scared.

  I look up and hear a melodious voice say, Love is patient. It is kind. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. You are love and it is being reciprocated.

  I close my eyes.

  Take a deep breath.

  Slowly exhale.

  And, I say, “Yes, Quincy. I will be yours.”

  I wrap my arms around him and we embrace.

  I hear our hearts sing in unison.

  Thump. (LOVE)

  Thump. (LOVE)

  Thump. (LOVE)

  Thump. (LOVE)

  Chapter Eighteen

  I can’t stop looking at this huge diamond ring on my finger. I am flabbergasted.

  I mean, really.

  Really!

  Really?

  WOW!
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  I can’t even finish my lunch. My appetite is gone.

  I go the restroom and profile in the mirror, staring at the ring.

  Placing my hand on my chest.

  Then setting it on the sink.

  I hold my hand up in front of my face.

  I lean in.

  Staring at the seven diamonds.

  The white platinum band.

  Is this real?

  Is this happening to me?

  Love has finally found me. In the body of a twenty-two-year-old. A fine, gorgeous, and beautiful twenty-two-year-old.

  That night, while we are lying in bed, Quincy and I are discussing him leaving. I can’t believe how fast the time has flown. To me it was just yesterday I was sitting at lunch with him discussing his internship. Admiring and lusting after him.

  Now here he is naked in my bed. He’s my man.

  My lover.

  My friend.

  “I don’t want to leave you,” Quincy says as he strokes my head.

  I sigh and then smile. “You’re always with me,” I say. I hold up my hand displaying the shiny diamonds. “You know you shouldn’t have done this. How can you afford a ring like this?” I ask.

  “I told you my mom is head of human resources at Macy’s. So, I used her discount.” Quincy winks at me.

  My heart begins to race. “You used your mother’s discount?” I turn and look at him. “So does she know you bought a ring for a man? For me?” I put my hand on my chest.

  “Yeah, she knows. I told you, me and my mother are very close. I tell her everything.”

  “She knows about us?” I ask.

  “She can’t wait to meet you.” Quincy smiles.

  “Are you serious?”

  “Very.”

  “Uhm, okay,” I say. I am apprehensive. I have never met any of my boyfriends’ or, should I say, any of my lovers’ mothers.

  “She already likes you,” Quincy says. “I told her everything about you. E. Lynn even talked to her.”

  “You’ve been discussing me with everyone?”

  “Yeah. I don’t keep secrets, Chase. Why are you shocked?”

  “It’s just I never, I mean, I haven’t…” I don’t know what to say. How to formulate the right words to explain to Quincy my past lives of being someone’s secret. Somebody’s nobody. I take a deep breath.

  “What is it?” Quincy asks. “Did I do something wrong?”

  “No,” I say. “I’ve just never been with someone who loves me as much as you do, and talks about me with his family and friends. I find it very flattering.”