Hurricane Dan (A Zombie Novel)

by bret Wellman

  "Keep an eye on him," said Dan, looking back at all the clothing in the store. Zoey was already pulling clothes off the racks. "If he turns, you know what to do."

  "Yes I do," said Barns. "I beats him in the head."

  Zoey ran over holding a white button-up shirt and dress pants. "Quick, get naked."

  "You’re not even going to get me drunk first?" Dan asked, slipping out of his clothes.

  "Flip flop?" said Barns, his head popping up over the counter.

  Zoey placed a hand on her hip, "Why get you drunk when I know you will get naked for free?"

  "Point taken," said Dan, pulling on a warm and dry pair of dress pants.

  He felt an immediate sense of warmth begin to settle into him.

  Zoey had done a good job finding the right sizes, everything seemed to fit pretty well. She ran off when he started buttoning up his shirt only to come back with a handful of ties. She held them all up and pondered until she finally decided on a black one.

  "I like this one," she said as she lifted his collar and placed it around his neck. "It says, I'm cool like James Bond, yet I'm still American."

  "This one it is then," said Dan.

  They heard a faint moan from behind the counter, followed by Barns rapidly swinging the rod towards the ground over and over. They could see little droplets of blood spraying the walls and dripping over the cash register. By the time Barns was done the rod was bent in half.

  "I beats him on the head like I'm supposed to!" cheered Barns.

  Dan threw on a suit coat, "Come on, let’s get moving."

  They were met on the sidewalk by two zombies. Both looked like hippies, as if they were a couple that had stuck together even after death. They were dressed head to toe in tie-dyed outfits. The outfits were made hideous by their corpse-like features.

  Barns swung the rod, bent side facing the target. It hit the zombie’s temple, lodging in its brain and snapping in half. The first hippy went down, rod and all. Zoey shoved the second, which stumbled backwards and got hit by a car that had to be doing fifty. Exploded is the best word to describe what happened to the second zombie. The car swerved and sideswiped another car sitting on the curb, but kept on going at full speed.

  "No time for sightseeing right now," Dan said, pulling both Barns and Zoey, who were staring at the carnage in the street. "We got two blocks to get through."

  They ran into a cop at the first intersection, he had a blow horn and was ushering anybody who would listen into a nearby clothing store.

  "The Mayor has declared a state of emergency. We need everybody who can, to go back and lock themselves in their homes. Anybody else, come to me so I can lead you to a safe location." For anybody who walked up, he pointed over to his partner standing by the three-story clothing store.

  As they passed, a zombie was walking towards him. The cop wasted no time pulling out his pistol and putting a bullet in its head. After watching the body drop, Dan realized that there were four or five other dead zombies lying on the ground.

  From the looks of it, he had the safe area covered pretty well. Dan debated stopping right there and going in to join the others. Then he remembered how they had been overrun in the Lincoln tunnel. Sure these two cops could take on the zombies one or two at a time, but could they take on twenty, a hundred? He decided it was best to keep going for the swords.

  "I say we come back here once we have the swords," said Zoey, once they had reached the other side of the street.

  "This looks like as good a place as any," said Dan.

  Barns shook his head, "We should keep going till we find a place to hide with flip flop there."

  Dan began to laugh; he was cut short by a powerful blast to his right. The car he was walking past had imploded. Glass showered them, as Dan and Zoey instinctively hit the ground.

  In the span of a second it was over, there was no fire, not even the smallest of flames. Standing up, Dan could see that the car was totaled. The top had been flattened. Lying on top of it, still and silent, was the mutilated body of a business man.

  Small shards of glass rained down from a broken window about forty stories above them.

  "Holy shit, he jump, Dan!" Barns exclaimed.

  Dan touched where a piece of glass had hit him below the eye. His finger came away with blood on it.

  "Let's just get to those swords."

  Chapter 13

  "Open up, Randy," Zoey said, pounding on a wooden apartment door.

  They were in a hallway on the second floor of a rundown apartment complex. The floors were made of wood that had started to turn black from all the dirty feet that had walked their surface. The walls had been painted gray and covered in stale pictures of flowers. Dan sniffed the air and winced, the place smelled like moldy crackers.

  The door burst open, "Zoey?"

  The kid couldn't have been more than twenty-five. He was tall and skinny with jet black hair, spiked into a faux-hawk. He wore rectangular glasses that managed to make him look smart and stylish at the same time. Dan hated him.

  He seemed awfully surprised to see Dan and Barns accompanying his lady friend. "Who the hell are these guys, Zoey?"

  "Relax Randy, they are my friends," she said. "And we need your help."

  The guy looked irritated. "You haven't called me in two weeks. You can't just show up here with a bunch of strangers."

  "We ain't no strangers," said Barns, holding out his hands. "I be Barns."

  Randy just looked at him like he was stupid, "And homeless ones at that."

  "Randy, we need to borrow a few of your swords," said Zoey.

  This made the guy smile: "So you need something, I should have known."

  The way he looked at her made Dan's skin crawl. He was sizing her up like she was some kind of meat.

  Zoey took in a nervous breath. "Can we come in?"

  "I tell you what," he said, glancing up and down her body. "You can come inside. Leave your friends out here while we make a deal."

  Zoey didn't look thrilled by this conclusion but she started making a move for the door anyways. That was where Dan drew the line.

  He handed his briefcase to Barns who took it with a questioning look. He lowered his shoulder and hit the door with all his weight. It wasn’t worth explaining his actions, he preferred forgiveness over permission. It was a life or death situation and he wasn’t about to mess around. The door flew open and Dan grabbed the stumbling stranger, pinning him against the wall with two handfuls of his shirt.

  "That isn’t gonna happen."

  Randy looked frightened, as if he were about to cry. "Get out of my house."

  "That's not happening either."

  "If you don't leave right now, I will call the cops and they will take you to jail."

  Dan laughed but let him go. "No cop is coming here."

  Randy pulled out a large and shiny cellphone and dialed nine, one, one. He stood there for a minute before hanging up. "It's busy."

  "No shit it's busy," said Dan.

  Zoey walked past them looking more confident than she had a moment before.

  "What the hell, Zoey, this is bullshit," said Randy.

  "Randy, try not being a complete asshole for once in your life," she said.

  "You broke into my house!"

  "We need your help and we are not leaving here without it."

  "We need a few of your swords," said Dan.

  Randy looked like he didn't know what to do. "I don't give a shit what you want, buddy. Don't even talk to me."

  They were now following Zoey deeper into the apartment. The place was dirty, the guy never cleaned up after himself. Energy drinks and pizza boxes seemed to gather themselves on every surface, as if they were a plague. The only clean spot was on a desk in front of three large computer monitors. The monitors were lined up like a regular command center.

  "We just need to borrow them for a little while," said Zoey.

  "For what reason could you possibly need one of my swords?"

  S
he shrugged, "Zombies are taking over the city."

  "What?"

  Dan decided further explanation was needed. "People are getting sick and attacking other people. The disease is spread by bite—"

  "I know what zombies are, you noob. I just don't get what the hell you are talking about."

  "It's happening, Randy," said Zoey. "Right now, right outside your door."

  "What are you trying to say?"

  "People be getting eaten. Damn, open ya ears," said Barns.

  Randy shook his head as if he were waking from a bad dream. "Are you guys fucking with me? Which one of you is holding a camera?"

  "No, Randy," said Zoey. "This is real, we need your help."

  He ignored her, flicking on a big screen TV that was hanging on the wall.

  The emergency alert system was in full effect, blaring loud noises and warning people to stay indoors. Randy stared at it for a good minute. When he turned back his expression had changed.

  "If you guys are heading for shelter, I am coming with you."

  "We want your swords," said Dan.

  "Deal." He began moving through the apartment, coming to a bedroom with a messed up bed and layer upon layer of dirty clothes on the floor. He led them to a giant dresser and used two hands to swing it open.

  Inside there were three samurai swords and two broad swords; all were in their holsters.

  "These are my babies," said Randy.

  Zoey reached in and grabbed two of the samurai swords and handed one to Dan. Randy grabbed one of the broad swords for himself.

  "I played some a dat baseball when I was little, mind if ah use that?" Barns asked.

  Dan noticed an old wooden baseball bat resting in the bottom of the dresser.

  "I bought that on eBay a few years back, it's signed by Frankie (the crow) Crosetti," said Randy. "Might as well use it. If the world is really going to be destroyed it won't matter who signed it."

  "Yes!" said Barns, grabbing the bat and looking it over as if it were gold. "I gets my own bat."

  Dan began moving for the exit. "Let's get back to that safe area before it is too late."

  "Not so fast," said Randy, cutting off his path to the door.

  "What?" demanded Dan.

  Randy ran over to his closet and started digging through a pile of junk. "I collect more than swords, let me get the rest of my stuff."

  "You have thirty seconds and then we are leaving without you."

  "Whatever," said Randy, not looking back. He came out with a bulletproof vest and shiny brass knuckles. They were forced to sit and wait as he slipped on goth pants and large black boots. It wasn’t until the vest was on that they finally were able to leave.

  Once they were moving Dan felt a whole lot better. He couldn’t stand sitting still when he knew his window of opportunity was closing. His legs might have been aching as he made his way down the stairs, from all the extra exertion he had been putting on them, but at least he was doing something about his situation.

  They were almost out of the complex when they heard a loud crash coming from one of the closer rooms. It sounded like something very large and made out of glass had been thrown on the ground.

  Randy immediately turned for the apartment door.

  "Let's keep moving," said Dan.

  "No," said Randy. "Follow me!" He kicked the door but it didn't budge. "You! Homeless Santa, bash this thing open," he said to Barns.

  Dan gritted his teeth; this guy was going to get them killed for no reason at all.

  Barns repeatedly put all his weight into the door and on the third try, it flew open.

  There were four zombies in the small apartment, they had torn the entire place to pieces. The stuffing had been ripped from the couch and spread on everything, the walls had been clawed to hell with bloody fingers and everything had been knocked over. There was clearly no one alive inside.

  Randy ran in first, stabbing the nearest zombie in the chest. Zoey and Barns filed in behind him, Zoey decapitating one and Barns cracking the skulls of the other two. Dan walked up to Randy who was about to be bitten by the zombie sliding its way toward the hilt of his sword. The thing had been impaled and yet it pushed itself further up the blade to get to him.

  Dan stabbed with his sword, going in through the chin and bursting out of the top of its skull.

  The zombie fell, Randy's sword went with it. Randy had to bend down and pry it from the dead carcass with two hands.

  "Good job, guys," he said, standing up.

  "This was stupid," said Dan turning back towards the door. "We didn't even save anybody."

  "Yeah, but we killed four of them. If everyone would do that, the entire city would be zombie-free."

  "I don't think we have enough swords to compensate the entire city," said Zoey as she followed Dan out the door.

  Barns had found a pint of vodka lying on the floor; it was half full. He twisted off the cap and easily chugged it all. "Whew doggy, good t’ing we come in here!"

  He hummed merrily all the way down the stairs and to the front door.

  The moment Dan opened the door to the street he found himself face to face with another zombie. It happened so fast that Dan had let the thing get two fistfuls of his shirt.

  The zombie was leaning in for a bite when Barns stepped up and shattered the vodka bottle over its head. It fell, but was quick to start getting up, so he finished it off with the baseball bat.

  They heard a gunshot to the right and looked in time to see a zombie’s chest blow out across the street. The thing left its chest behind and kept moving forward, overcoming a greasy haired man and his shotgun.

  At this point it appeared that anybody still alive had either found a weapon or was badly injured.

  Dan swung his katana, decapitating another zombie as it approached.

  Looking around, he figured the zombies outnumbered the healthy people, three to one. The dead were beginning to mass.

  "Dis no good,” said Barns.

  Zoey came down on one with her sword, burying it deep into its skull. She had to yank hard to get it free.

  "Shouldn't we be moving?" she said as she pried the sword away.

  Dan stopped gawking at all the battles going on up and down the street. "Yeah, let’s go. If we don't get there soon, I have a feeling we might never make it ... not alive, that is."

  Chapter 14

  It was beginning to rain people.

  They were jumping from the windows and rooftops, crashing down all over the place. Some fell with zombies still eating them alive on the way down, others had only been bitten and didn't want to turn out like their friends, a few jumped because that was simply their preferred way to go. It was a mass exodus. People of every age, shape, and size took the leap. They were the weaker willed, the ones that could not face what was coming, what was already there.

  After the third body had hit the pavement, Dan directed their group to walk down the center of the street. He had no fear of traffic because there no longer was any. Anybody with a vehicle had either crashed it or realized most of the roads were blocked anyways, ditching their vehicle for shelter.

  Dan now had to keep one eye looking up in order to stop somebody from falling on them. The last thing he needed was for somebody to break their leg because somebody else decided to jump off a roof. In that particular scenario he was assuming it would be better for the group, as a whole, if that person broke their neck rather than their leg. They would not be so hard to leave behind in that situation.

  Zombies were coming at them from everywhere too. They crept out from the buildings as his group passed. Moving in packs of twos and threes, stumbling their way into decapitation by sword.

  Dan had given up trying to help every single person they came across. He couldn’t go ten feet without finding somebody in need of help. There was a guy on his back on the opposite side of the street, kicking up at a zombie, successfully keeping it from biting him. A woman was trapped on the roof of her van by three teenage zombies. She
stomped them down whenever one began climbing up. There was a store a little ways back, two people held the door shut as a zombie tried to fight its way in. One of the city buses was parked in the center of the road with flat tires. A bunch of people had packed inside and were working together to keep any unwanted guests from getting inside. They offered Dan’s group refuge as he passed but he respectfully declined. As far as Dan was concerned, the thing was a giant zombie Twinkie.

  Most of the people just ran back and forth, from building to building, screaming their heads off. There were a lot of sirens echoing up and down the streets as well, along with the occasional gunshot. It all mixed together with the screams to make perhaps the most terrible sound Dan had ever heard.

  It felt like every new street was worse than the last. There were fewer people and more zombies every second.

  A few times they encountered a crowd of living. The groups of people were usually fleeing their offices and apartments, they weren't ready for the wave of living dead that met them on the street.

  Dan tried to save any he could, while still moving for safety. Most were lost, adding a staggering number of new zombies to the mix. The last time it happened, he was only able to save a young businessman and an aristocratic woman.

  The man wore a plain work suit, while the woman had on a stylish dress that flashed a lot of cleavage and a bow wrapped around her neck.

  Dan had been moving through the confused crowd with the others, trying to distinguish the sick from the alive. He killed as many zombies as he could and watched Barns, Zoey and Randy doing the same. They called for the people to follow them to safety but it was just too chaotic for anyone to hear. In the end, Dan had just grabbed the businessman on the way by; Zoey had done the same with the woman.

  "Get your hands off of me, you crass little girl," said the woman, yanking her gloved hand free.

  The businessman hiked a black backpack higher onto his shoulder and rubbed the back of his neck with a shaky hand. "Thanks, man, you saved my life."