If Every Day Was Christmas: A gorgeous and heart-warming Christmas romance

by Donna Ashcroft

  ‘You’re beautiful,’ he murmured, tracing a broad hand across her belly and then up to her back so he could undo her bra. He discarded that too, tossing it over her shoulder and throwing it so it landed with a soft thud onto the wooden floor. ‘With or without the glitter,’ he added, letting his eyes streak across her skin, resting momentarily on her breasts which were puckering in the cool air.

  ‘Do you think we should move?’ Meg asked, stepping forwards so their skin brushed, aware of Cooper sleeping by the fire. She tipped her head in the dog’s direction just as his ears pricked up.

  ‘Bedroom.’ Tom grabbed her hand and guided her into the hall, before closing the door. The hallway was small and freezing away from the fire. Tom looked down and smiled, before turning Meg round and lifting her onto the bottom step. Now their faces were level. ‘I might undress you here,’ he said, pulling her in for another kiss.

  Meg wasn’t sure what was happening to her. She was used to her skin heating from someone’s touch. The flood of arousal when she was kissed. But this felt different. Usually she held back, waiting until she was sure she was compatible with a lover. She didn’t jump into bed with just anyone. Years of watching parental wars had taught her the power of the wrong kind of love. And no amount of feel-good hormones were worth that. Still, waiting hadn’t helped her up till now.

  But with Tom she felt different, less in control. He kissed her again. Slowly. Now their faces were level it was harder to pretend this wasn’t happening. That he wasn’t having such an effect on her body. Her arms slid around his neck, pulling him closer, and she felt his fingers move to the buttons at the waist of her elf outfit, dealing quickly with the clasp before pushing the zip down. Then she felt the material fall as the cool air hit her legs, scattering goosebumps across the surface of her skin, making her shiver. She concentrated on the feel of Tom as she ran her fingers down his back, letting them rest for a moment on the waistband of his jeans before moving them towards the front. She felt his stomach contract as she reached the button, his body jerk away, and then felt it press into her. As if he couldn’t control his own reaction and he wanted more. He hummed against her mouth, taking the kiss deeper, and then grabbed hold, pulling her closer as he dug his fingers into the soft skin of her bottom, stroking around the outer edges of her pants, making her squirm. She couldn’t remember what colour her underwear was and hoped she’d put on a silky matching set this morning, rather than comfortable cotton. Some of those had Christmas patterns on. It had been so long since anyone but Blitzen had seen her without her clothes, Meg barely even noticed what she wore. Tom didn’t seem to care – he let his fingers slide underneath the material as they trailed gently up and over her bottom.

  Meg undid the button of Tom’s jeans and pushed their bodies apart, shoving them over his hips and down. He wiggled and they fell, then she felt him move, knew he was pushing the legs down and off because his warm hands temporarily left her body. She held on until he was undressed, kissing him gently, not wanting to let go… wondering if she ever would.

  Twenty-One

  Meg’s skin was like silk. Tom hadn’t touched another woman since his divorce. Hadn’t particularly wanted to. He’d always loved sex, but with Marnie it had become less about give, take and the expression of love, and more a demonstration of power, a satisfaction of needs. She’d needed constant reassurance and when his hadn’t been enough, she’d looked elsewhere. To another musician, to be exact – someone slightly more successful. The idea still hurt. Not because he still loved her, but because it was so clear now she’d never really cared for him. That music had been his value all along. But with Meg it was different. Because she didn’t know who he was.

  Meg wouldn’t spin him a line: you got exactly what you saw. A woman smothered with glitter, obsessed with Christmas, with a soft heart who wanted to spread happiness and joy wherever she went. Ironically, despite the crazy outfits and make-up which some might see as armour, she was vulnerable, and her strength was in letting him see that. Because it was there in everything she said, every kind act or word. Meg didn’t hold anything back and she didn’t lie. She was unlike any of the women he’d known – aside, perhaps, from his grandmother.

  She stepped backwards on the stairs and grabbed his hand, pulling him upwards one step. He smiled into their kiss, wondering if the sparkles on her face were rubbing off again; a physical manifestation of what was happening to him. The stirrings and faint sense that his life might be beginning again. Perhaps he was ready to risk letting someone get close? But not completely, not yet. He wasn’t ready to tell Meg who he was. Too afraid it might change everything. He wanted – needed – her to know him first. Wasn’t ready to trust this was real.

  Meg backed up another step, pulling him with her, her hands moving down his body, across his chest, making his heart pump harder until he could barely hear above the rush of blood. He grabbed her, lifted her up and felt her legs knot around his back. He thought she’d protest, but instead she deepened the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck. He grinned, delighted. Marnie was as light as a feather but she’d never have let him pick her up – she’d have complained about being too heavy. Yet another reminder of how different they were.

  When he reached the top of the stairs he thought about setting her down – there was a rug on the floor they could sink into, and his body was pumping with so many needs he wasn’t sure he’d make it to the bedroom. But then Meg let her legs drop to the floor and she turned to tug him down the long corridor, passing the spare room where Blitzen had stayed, before opening the door to his bedroom and pulling him in. The curtains were open and the moon threw light across the bed and floor. Meg ripped back the covers and then stood, facing him.

  ‘Second thoughts?’ he asked, walking in to join her.

  ‘Not really.’ She smiled and let her eyes shift downwards, then shook her head. ‘Nope. I’m just taking a moment to appreciate how quickly we’ve gone from fighting over decorations to bed. I’m not normally that…’ She tossed her head and Tom saw a hint of glitter in the moonlight. ‘We’re very different, and being here – let’s just say I’m breaking all my rules.’

  Tom wanted to touch her but he stopped himself. ‘Can differences be good sometimes?’

  Meg gazed up at him, moistening her lips. But instead of shaking her head and turning away – which he half expected – she fell back on the bed, grabbing him and pulling him on top, somehow manoeuvring herself up so they were face to face. ‘I’m beginning to wonder that myself.’ Her body was warm and soft, but he held himself up so he didn’t crush her. Then he leaned down to give her a long kiss, rolling them both to the side. He eased backwards and pushed a strand of blonde hair from her face, let himself look into her blue eyes. A song began to form in his head. And this time he didn’t shut it out: he let the music play in his mind as he kissed her again.

  Meg’s hands ran down Tom’s sides, across his chest, before reaching the top of his boxers which she pushed off. He made quick work of her underwear, breaking off the kiss so he could throw them onto the floor. He grinned when he got a quick flash of a snowman’s nose on her pants, but decided not to tease her. Instead he eased her back, letting his hands drift slowly down. Her breath quickened, as goosebumps marked her skin and his fingers traced her curves. Their kisses, which had been slow and gentle until now, began to heat – then Meg pushed him onto his back and climbed on top.

  ‘Protection,’ he whispered. ‘In the drawer. I wasn’t expecting…’

  She pressed a finger to his lips and leaned across to open it. ‘I’m not going to judge you for being prepared,’ she murmured, before slipping it on. Her golden hair shimmered around her shoulders as she arched up and then bent to kiss his neck, tracing her tongue across his skin and chest before she took him inside. Tom’s vision blurred as she began to move, taking it slowly as the heat continued to build. When it was almost unbearable, he gripped her thighs, thrusting up to meet each movement. Then Meg moaned suddenly, her bod
y shuddered – and he let himself go.

  He pulled her down onto his chest and kissed her cheek as they caught their breath. The song that had begun in his head filled it again as Tom fell asleep.

  Tom yawned and stretched, trying not to wake Meg, who was sprawled across his chest like a sparkly blanket. He squinted into the darkness. The moon was still high, and there were more stars out than there had been earlier. The house felt chilly and the heating was off, which meant it was after ten. Cooper barked downstairs and Tom eased himself from underneath Meg, who stirred and let out a sigh. He picked up his boxers and pulled them on, feeling a strange confusion of contentment and guilt. Then he frowned as Cooper’s barks grew louder and hurried downstairs. The dog was woofing at Meg’s handbag, which she’d left inside the small hallway. It was ringing, the insistent chirp coming – he guessed – from her phone. Cooper whined and Tom let him outside, grabbing the mobile as it stopped, started up and then stopped once more. Meg’s dad was calling, and he’d been trying for a while judging by the seven missed calls. Cooper batted his head against the door and Tom let him into the house again, thinking about making coffee to ease Meg out of her slumber. But when the mobile rang once more he picked it up.

  ‘Meg,’ Oliver barked. ‘Where are you? I’ve been calling for ages.’ He sounded panicked. Cooper sniffed Tom’s feet, tickling them with his nose.

  ‘It’s Tom.’

  There was a pause before Oliver said, ‘Is Meg there?’ There was confusion in his tone and Tom waited for him to ask more.

  ‘She’s busy at the moment.’ Tom winced. Would Meg mind if her father knew she was here? ‘I’ll get her to call you back in a minute.’

  ‘Tell her it’s urgent.’ Oliver’s voice was tight. ‘Tell her Emily’s disappeared.’

  Twenty-Two

  It was approaching midnight and freezing outside as Tom, Meg, Oliver, Kitty and Cooper tramped up the high street from Meg’s shop towards the Promise Tree, checking the snow for prints. They hadn’t had a blizzard for the last day, although a big dump was due later, so the snow on the pavement had either been gritted or trodden down. There weren’t many clues as to who’d been walking recently, but the soft glow from the street lights and the moon gave them enough light to check.

  ‘What happened?’ Meg asked her dad as he sped up to join them, leaving Kitty alone with Cooper, who was sniffing the ground at the edges of the pavement. Meg’s mum hadn’t said much at all since they’d turned up at the shop. Her face was ashen and she kept clenching and unclenching her fingers.

  Oliver’s forehead crumpled as they stopped to look through each of the windows of Apple Cross Inn. The lights were off inside and it was unlikely Emily would be hiding in the shadows. ‘Your mum told me about your conversation.’ He let out a long exhale as they continued down the street, and Tom wondered if he should be listening in. ‘About the baby. She told me she’s been unhappy for a while, that what we have together isn’t enough.’ He lowered his voice. ‘I told her I wanted things to change. I said I loved her. That I went to a marriage guidance appointment I’d booked for us both because… I think we can get through this. I might be fifteen years too late, but I don’t want to lose her.’ He let out a sigh as Tom stared at the ground, pretending he wasn’t listening. ‘I assumed Emily had gone to bed. We hadn’t seen her after dinner, but the door to the kitchen was open and she must have heard us talking. At least some of it.’ He grimaced. ‘I checked in on her as I was heading for bed, but she was gone. Her guitar is missing but she hasn’t taken anything else. Not even her phone. I tried calling her a few times before I realised she’d left it on your dresser. She’s not dressed properly – all she has is that silly snowsuit that’s too small for her.’ He swallowed, his eyes shining with fear. ‘It’s so cold and there’s more snow due tonight. She could be anywhere.’

  Tom reached out to take Meg’s hand. She wore gloves, but her fingers were stiff and unyielding – it took a couple of moments before she unbent them and gripped his tightly in return. Tom felt a surge of something in his chest – a burst of emotion. It had been years since he’d felt this type of connection. Even in the hospital after his grandmother had died, he’d been so racked with guilt he’d disconnected from everything. His life had imploded and he hadn’t known how to process the emotions. So he’d shut them out. It was only now he was beginning to let himself open up.

  ‘I should have told her about the baby,’ Meg said. ‘I thought it would be better to keep it to myself. But withholding the truth, even for the right reasons… that’s lying, isn’t it?’ The guilt was evident in her voice, and Tom tried not to think about what she was saying. Or connect that situation to theirs.

  ‘It’s not your fault, Meg—’ her dad began.

  ‘You’re not to blame,’ Kitty interrupted, catching up with them. ‘I am. I lost one child and I’m in danger of losing another. Because I didn’t face up to how I felt. I wasn’t honest. You didn’t want to talk.’ She looked her husband in the eye. ‘And I blamed you. I couldn’t forgive you even when you wanted to put things right. I just wanted to run, to pretend it hadn’t happened, to hide in my work… To protect myself and my babies. But you can’t, can you?’ She swallowed as a tear trickled down her cheek. Oliver reached out and caught it with his finger, then wiped it away. ‘Why is running, pretending everything’s all right, or ignoring it until the silence almost destroys you, so much less terrifying than facing up to what’s happened?’ She shook her head as her voice wavered. ‘I’ve ruined everything.’

  ‘It takes two to make a problem, Kit,’ Oliver said softly. ‘This is not all on you. But we can put it right together. I don’t think it’s too late. Emily’s going to be fine.’ Tom could see that the lines around his eyes had deepened with worry – he knew he didn’t entirely believe what he was saying.

  ‘You’re always so calm. I need calm today.’ Kitty’s brow knitted as she gazed at him, then her eyes dropped from his face. ‘We have to find Emily.’ Her voice broke as she looked at the high street. ‘It’s so cold. She was sick a few months ago. What if—’

  ‘She’s going to be okay.’ Oliver squeezed Kitty’s shoulder and she nodded slowly. Then she turned away and began to shuffle along the pavement, searching the ground for clues, before she reached the Promise Tree where she stood, staring up into the branches, frowning. Until Cooper began to bark. The dog was pawing at the hedge on the other side of the road and whining.

  ‘Of course.’ Meg nodded suddenly, her blonde hair shimmering in the moonlight under her red hat. ‘I know where Emily is. I should have realised. I was so scared I didn’t think…’ She smiled, her face transforming. ‘We need the car – it’s too far to walk in this weather and Emily will be freezing.’ She crossed to the pavement and grabbed hold of Tom’s hand, before leading them back towards her Christmas shop where his car was parked.

  ‘Take a left,’ Meg directed, before speaking to Agnes on her mobile, as Tom drove along the high street and turned onto a narrow track with a sign for Buttermead Farm. It was dark and the car shuddered as it bounced over a huge drift of snow.

  Oliver and Kitty were sitting in the back with Cooper between them. The dog moaned as the car negotiated another bump and a pinprick of light appeared in the distance. Tom followed Meg’s directions until five minutes later he pulled up outside a large farmhouse. ‘We need to be quick. It’s too cold to wait.’ Meg jumped out and slammed the car door without looking back. Cooper nudged his nose against the window as she ran up to the building and knocked.

  ‘Where’s she going?’ Oliver opened the back of the car and sprang out. He helped Cooper and Kitty down as Tom grabbed a lead and fixed it to the dog’s collar, in case he decided to run off. He had a small torch in the glove compartment which he grabbed.

  The farmhouse door swung open and Agnes appeared, wearing a puffy pink coat with a knitted scarf wrapped around her neck. She switched on her torch and set off down a gravel pathway away from the farmhouse, with Meg and the rest
of them running after her. They couldn’t see much, though the moon was out and Tom’s torch lit some of the track, picking out piles of snow and a few spiky bushes. He shivered as he paused so Kitty and Oliver could keep up. He didn’t take his eyes off Meg, but still almost missed her as she followed Agnes to the right and ducked through a gap in a hedge before disappearing. Cooper groaned as Tom broke into a trot, trailing them into a field where the snow was much deeper. The dog hesitated, then shadowed Tom as he raced after them.

  ‘Where are they going?’ Oliver shouted as he and Kitty caught up. Tom pointed to a midway point across the field where Meg and Agnes – lit by the moonlight – were approaching a barn. The three of them broke into a run again, stumbling across icy branches and roots buried in the snow. When they arrived outside the barn they were all panting, their breath like long ribbons curling in the air. ‘What is this place?’ Oliver rubbed his arms and shivered.

  ‘We found a reindeer here earlier,’ Meg explained, pointing to the door of the building. ‘I think this is where we’ll find Emily.’

  Oliver glared at the structure, frowning.

  ‘A reindeer?’ Kitty said. ‘She could catch—’ Oliver patted her on the shoulder and shook his head.

  ‘She’ll be fine, Mum,’ Meg soothed.

  ‘Aye,’ Agnes interjected. ‘This one’s a sweetheart and as tame as my goat. He’s taken a shine to your lassie – I think that girl has a gift.’ She glanced at one of the windows. ‘There’s a light. I’ll guess Emily’s come to wish her new friend good night.’

  The barn door was closed but as they approached, Tom could hear the soft strum of a guitar. Agnes opened the door and then they saw a light shining inside. Cooper jerked the lead, tugging it from Tom’s fingers, and shot into the building. The guitar stopped abruptly and Tom heard Emily squeak. They followed the light into a stable and found her curled up on a pile of straw next to a large brown reindeer. She had a lantern torch, which spread an arc of light around the room. It was Christmas-themed so Tom guessed she’d taken it from Meg’s shop. Her lips were bluish and she was shivering.