by Meg Xuemei X
It’s the missing part of you, Merlin’s voice sounded in my ear, but when I looked behind me, he wasn’t there.
Acknowledge it, claim it, and command it.
Easy for him to say. He didn’t need to face this ghastly monster.
I wouldn’t let it have me. I wouldn’t let it be part of me.
Fuck off! I threw all I had in me—the wind, dust, and cusses. The wind drove Merlin’s fire toward the beast. The monster wheeled to the fire and growled.
Merlin’s fire was no match to it. The great sorcerer couldn’t stop the darkness from possessing me. Once the beast snuffed out his fire, there would be nothing between it and me.
But I was Freyja, First Witch. I always had my tricks.
Instead of tossing my borrowed spear of fire at the beast, I made the spear cut into the ice around it at a blindingly speed.
The entity plummeted into the lake with the collapsed patches of ice. It sent me a mournful look as it disappeared under the water.
I poured my sheer will and all of my ability into sealing the dark lake with thick ice again.
And then I withdrew every breath of air in my realm until Merlin’s fire went out. I did not want the druid messing up my reality again.
The shapeless darkness spread under the ice, seeking a crack, but there was none. My ice was my lifetime’s work. I’d been strengthening it for as long as I knew, terrified that the nightmare would come out.
The darkness shifted back to the beast, pounding on the ice. Rapid, powerful, and desperate. And a deep, strange ache rammed into my heart.
Dark or not, the beast was part of my essence, and when it plunged back into the abyss of the lake, it tore a piece off me.
Without it, I was crippled. Without it, I would never truly be the First Witch.
But I wasn’t willing to pay the price just to have the formidable power.
I snapped open my eyes. The vortex was gone. My shaking hands were not in the druid’s anymore. My throat burned from the exertion.
Merlin was no better. His former glowing face was gray. I didn’t know whether it was from unleashing my hidden magic or from me snuffing out his fire.
I’d put the beast back to keep the human part of me safe, yet I knew I had also utterly failed, and Merlin’s light and fire had been wasted for nothing. He’d found the source of my Angel power, yet I resealed it out of my unquenchable fear.
I wasn’t ready to merge with the beast of darkness, and I might never be ready, even though Merlin’s message was clear—it was the only path for me to be complete and be the true First Witch. If I could overcome my aversion to my Angel heritage and claim the dark monster, I might not need to go to the Twilight Realm to seek a cure.
“Perception shapes reality,” Merlin said, exhaustion laced in his voice. “And our perceptions are often wrong. Don’t let prejudice hold you back, Freyja.” The rest of his words sounded silently in my head. I can do no more for you. Your magic is angelic and atomically powerful, not the kind on Earth. Only you can harness it. Facing your own darkness and fear is the first step.
I swallowed.
“What did he do to you?” Ares was at our side again, darting his fierce gaze between us, worry and anger unmasked his eyes. He fixed on Merlin, his nostrils flared. “What did you turn her into? You should not touch the innocent!”
“Merlin showed me the ladder to the dark stars,” I said, “only, I couldn’t climb it.”
“Not yet, Freyja,” he said. “One day you will, now that you know where to look.”
And for the first time, I acknowledged that while my beast suffered at the bottom of the ice lake, I also suffered.
CHAPTER 13
The Shifter
The guardians returned.
I want to know everything that happened while we were away, Ventus said as Ares placed our luggage on his back.
Did you see Merlin’s magnificent garden when you flew over? I asked.
What garden? Ventus asked.
There! I pointed at the entrance, only to find ruin around us. There was no hint of a garden anymore. There were no red ivy vines draping over the phantom gate.
Merlin’s domain was concealed even from me. His parting words echoed in my head, “Magic starts to awake in the mortal land because of us. You’re the beginning of a new race. Fey will be the things of the past in ten thousand years. Earth will be humans, and the strongest leaders will come from your descendants.”
Like that would happen. My touch was death to the living, except—
I didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to get tangled up with Ares again.
“I’m not that ambitious,” I’d said. “I have no care for any species. Look how broken the world is. Why do I want my offspring to suffer through it?”
“Civilization will always break, then regenerate, then collapse again. Kingdoms rise and fall. It’s the nature of things. Your children are meant to lead the evolution. It starts with you. A new age is coming, and a new storm.”
There’s no garden, Ventus said, his snout sweeping me aside to play with me.
Ares didn’t even notice that, even though he’d just finished loading his stuff. He hadn’t glanced at me once since we’d left Merlin’s cabin.
We were back on non-speaking terms.
Like I gave a damn if he talked, anyway. And I pretty much showed him just that.
He looked at the empty seat on Mettalum’s back. It belonged to the horned Dragonian before he got canned.
“The seat is yours,” he said distantly.
It was logical for me to take the empty seat, yet I felt a stab of hurt.
“I don’t want to sit with that Dragonian who has a puppy’s name,” I said.
“Puppy name?” Boomer spat fire into his words. “You don’t know a thing about proper names. You should consider it an honor I even allow you to sit behind me.”
Oh, just like his prince. Were all Dragonians alike?
“I don’t want to sit with any Dragonian,” I said.
“You’re even worse than Fey,” Boomer said. “Maybe you do have foul Fey blood.”
Fouler, I almost said it.
“What’s wrong with sitting with a Dragonian?” Ares asked. “You sat with me all the way here.”
“I was forced,” I said.
His irritation at my words clouded his features.
“I’ll simply force you to sit with Boomer,” he said.
“Not this time,” I said.
“Don’t make things difficult at every turn.” He stalked toward me and towered over me threateningly. “I’ll toss you onto the seat.”
“You can do that, but then I’ll never lead you to your coveted First Witch,” I said.
He gritted his teeth. “You wouldn’t dare sabotaging my plan.”
“Try me,” I said with a cold smile. “Or we can make a small compromise. I’ll sit with Lucas.”
“Over my—” Before Ares could finish the word, Lucas shouted, “I’ll take Freyja,” and motioned to the advanced human. “Einarr, please take Tyrone’s seat. Time to improve the racial relationship.”
Einarr shrugged before heading toward Mettalum and mounting the back seat.
A muscle jerked in Ares’ jaw, but there was nothing he could do. He wouldn’t want to look too petty in front of all of us. “Behave yourself.” He threw the cold, hard words at me before mounting his ride.
I pulled the hood of my cloak over my face and hopped toward Ignis. The travel outfit from Merlin covered every inch of my skin.
What? Ventus demanded.
Sorry, pal, I said. I can’t stand your rider. But if you’re brave enough to throw him off you—
That won’t happen, Ventus said. Tell Ignis to stay close to me, so we can still chat during our long journey.
That won’t happen, I said. I finally have a chance to stay away from Ares. Even your charm can’t pull me any closer to him.
What happened between the two of you last night? asked Ventus. Anythi
ng I should know?
I jogged toward the Ignis, and Lucas strode toward me, grinning at me from ear to ear. I returned a grin. Lucas escorted me back to his ride. “Ready, Freyja?”
“Let’s go for a ride,” I said cheerfully.
I wouldn’t let Ares’ bad attitude drag me down, and I was going to show him that I had a hell of good time when I didn’t ride with him.
I was about to climb onto the Guardian of Fire, but then the shifter had his hands on my waist. He easily lifted me up, and I giggled and twisted in his arms.
Lucas laughed. “Someone’s ticklish.”
I couldn’t sustain it and had a hard time breathing between my giggling. Lucas couldn’t put me down on the seat either, because he was also laughing so hard.
I bent over like a jellyfish, which resulted in my breasts pressing against Lucas’s face. The shifter stopped laughing and focused on my breasts.
Then another pair of strong, rough hands pulled me out of Lucas’ arms and dropped me on the front seat on Ignis’ back as if I were merely a bag of potatoes.
“I got it covered, Ares,” Lucas said with irritation. “We were only having a little bit of fun. Freya is a bit ticklish.”
“A bit ticklish?” Ares said in a hard voice. “She was almost out of breath.”
I stopped laughing and glared at the killjoy. “I was perfectly fine,” I said. “I just haven’t laughed for a while.”
“Now’s not the time to laugh,” Ares grated. “We have no time to waste.” He stormed back toward Ventus.
Lucas and I shared a look and I rolled my eyes.
While Lucas mounted to the seat behind me, I greeted my ride first, Hello, Fire.
Hello, Witchling, Ignis said with a puff of fire and smoke. I’m glad you chose me. You won’t regret it. He launched into the sky, shooting rings of fire out in front of us.
“You’ll incinerate me if you aren’t careful, Ignis!” I called. I had to stop his showing off, or one of his stunts might really torch me.
He seemed chastised, then murmured, You shouldn’t play with fire either.
Afternoon sunshine lingered on my face. Sailing in the wind was like a fading memory regained. I felt good, but I still narrowed my eyes. How am I playing with fire?
Haven’t you seen how pissed Ares was? Ignis sighed. He can be very territorial.
I’m not his territory, I said.
You don’t understand a red-blooded male, Ignis said. You don’t understand a lot of things, Witchling. But when the day comes and you regret the things you said or did, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
You’re worse than Ventus, I said. I chose to ride with you to get away from the jackass ringleader. I’d appreciate it if you don’t bring him back into our folds.
You don’t know yourself either, he added.
Why did all the genetically enhanced beings think they were the wisest beings on Earth?
What’s the shifter’s animal self? I changed the subject. Do you know?
I know everything, Ignis said. What do I get in return for the information?
Indeed, this one was worse than Ventus.
What do you want? I asked.
A scratch on my neck, he said. Like what you did for Ventus.
Fine! I said as my gloved hand gave him a scratch.
The guardian puffed a string of fire in content. Black panther, he said, He isn’t allowed to shift while on my back. He knows if he violates that, I’ll toss him off, and he’ll never get to ride with magnificent me again.
“You comfortable there, Freyja?” Lucas chimed in just in time.
I turned to smile at him. “Peachy. What about you, panther?”
He blinked. “How did you know?”
“My wolf can smell your animal,” I said. “So, Lucas, tell me something I don’t know.”
Ignis snorted, but didn’t reveal our deal as I gave him another scratch.
Lucas told me about his childhood and his first experience with shifting—he was only twelve when it happened—as we flew by a city half burned by the Angels decades ago, then battered by the mortals’ war decades later.
The humans now controlled the city.
They bred faster than any other species and evolved even faster. I wondered if they would march into the Dragonian territories once they took out all the other races. As much as I despised my angelic heritage, I wasn’t delusional about my human side—it was no sunshine.
“I’m proud of you, Freyja,” Lucas said. “For the first time, Ares can’t charm a pretty woman, let alone tame you.”
I chuckled. “Perhaps it would help if he drops some of his sparkling personality.”
Lucas laughed. “It certainly would.”
We bumped fists, my gloved one to his bare one.
“Will you promise to show me your panther when we land?” I asked.
A jet of wind rushed toward us. Ventus was suddenly beside us, winking at me.
His rider stared hard and unpleasantly at Lucas and me as if both of us had done him wrong.
“Lucas!” Ares shouted with black rage. “This isn’t some party! You’re a fucking scout, so act like one. Stop fooling around!”
“I wasn’t fooling around,” Lucas called back. “Freyja and I were swapping intel. While we’re in the clouds, there’s nothing to scout. Besides, the guardians can see better than I. So chill off, Ares.”
“You chill off!” Ares shouted through his clenched teeth. “How did we let the battleship tail and ambush us in the first place?”
Ignis, I said, give the shouter something hot to remind him of his manners. If you send your beautiful ring of fire to burn his nose, he won’t harass us next time.
Nay, said Ignis. He’ll get madder. I’ve seen how he treats his enemies. He turned his head sideways, so his big blue eyes had a full view of us. And it’s not my habit to get involved in territorial spats between humans.
Ares isn’t really a human, I hissed. So he doesn’t count.
Neither are you, Ignis said. You both are hybrids—half advanced human and half something else. You and he have more in common than you know.
I rolled my eyes. I was only asking him to breathe down on the arrogant Dragonian prince with something hot. Like that was a big deal. All I got was a useless lecture from a flying alligator.
“The battleship is on the loose,” Ares continued his yelling. “It can shoot us out of nowhere if we don’t pay attention. Do you job like a pro, Lucas, or I’ll grab Freyja and have her sit with Boomer since he won’t get distracted so easily.”
I glared at Ares, but he didn’t spare me a glance, as if I wasn’t worth a nanosecond of his attention. He barked an order at his ride, and Ventus shot forward like lightning and intentionally propelled a stronger current toward me and Lucas.
There was no point in trying to persuade Ignis to give their rear ends a taste of his fierce fire, because this guardian was everything but fierce. Perhaps I would call him Firefly. I was sure he wouldn’t be too offended.
A sudden crack of thunder startled me, and as I looked around, flashes of white lightning flitted across the sky.
The next second, rain poured from the dense thunderclouds above us.
“Ignis,” I cried, “seek shelter!”
He wouldn’t follow my command unless the Dragonian prince gave a nod.
CHAPTER 14
Tavern Night
Fortunately, Prince Darken didn’t like flying through the thunderstorm either.
He ordered the guardians to land in Amathus, a city controlled by humans, but the guardians, who fancied thunder, lightning, and storms, took their time to descend.
By the time the Guardian of Fire touched down with hot steam puffing out of his joyful mouth, I was a walking wet sponge, hunching and trembling in the cold. I stumbled toward the tavern that I could barely see in the heavy mist of rain.
Lucas and his peers were still unloading their stuff while the guardians, who were eager to return to the sky to drink in the storm, we
re testy at their slowness.
I ignored Ventus, not in the mood to share his excitement. All I wanted was to be dry and warm. Though I had my father’s potent Angel blood, I was still vulnerable to the elements, just like any human would be. I suspected I was especially susceptible to the cold after my magical session with Merlin, as I was still drained from caging my beast under the icy lake.
Merlin wanted me to unleash it to claim my dark Angel power, but I wasn’t ready. No one could overcome her deepest fear in one session. His lecture about courage had made me ashamed of my cowardice for two hours before the shame faded away.
Lucas caught up with me in a few long strides after he had Einarr handle the rest of the loading. The shifter held my shoulder to keep me warm, but it didn’t help much since he was also drenched. I hoped he wouldn’t shake his hair and spray water into my eyes. He was a panther, so I was sure he would like to do that the same way my wolves did.
If he shifted, it might help me warm up faster. But a huge black panther would incite panic and chaos among the humans.
Ares stalked out of the swinging-door of the tavern. He and Ventus had landed earlier. His gaze landed on me, then on Lucas, whose arm wrapped around me. In a flash, he was by my side in the pouring rain.
“Hands off, Lucas,” Ares ordered. “Go secure the perimeter.”
“I’ll escort Freyja to a room first,” Lucas said. “She’s shivering.”
“I’ll take her,” Ares said, his voice hard and menacing. “Go!”
What was wrong with him? Did he want me completely miserable just because I hadn’t found the First Witch for him? Before Lucas could release me, Ares pulled me to him and swept me into the tavern.
The tavern owner was a middle-aged human woman. There was a tiny spark of warmth in her brown eyes. She looked at Ares warily, then fixed on me. Two of her helpers stood on either side of her behind the counter, eyeing us with suspicion and whining about the rain.
Before the woman could direct her questions at me, Ares raised a hand to stop her and whisked me off upstairs. He almost half carried me to the room.
