Unworthy Heart: The Donnellys, Book 1

by Dorothy F. Shaw

  No, he didn’t want her to go…but his son. He needed to remember what was best for Jacob.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Maiya got an early start on the day, and considering she wasn’t a morning person, was an indication of exactly how much sleep she didn’t get last night. When the alarm clock went off at six, she’d been lying there wide-awake. After packing up and taking a shower, she finished her makeup and hair and then wandered around the room for a few more minutes.

  She was stalling.

  Sitting on the bed, she did the unthinkable. She called her mother. Mom wasn’t the best person to talk to about her love life, so Maiya had no intention of telling her what was going on. She just needed to hear her voice for a minute and pretend she was still a little girl. “Hi, Mommy.”

  “Emmie? Are you home yet?”

  “I’m still in Los Angeles. I fly home today. How are you feeling? Have you been eating?”

  “Sure, sure.”

  Maiya winced as the distinct sound of ice in a glass tinkled in the background. “I’ll be by tomorrow to bring you some groceries.”

  “If you want, not sure I’ll be around though.” Her mother coughed.

  Apparently the cold she had was hanging on tight. Damn. And, of course, her mother would be there tomorrow. “All right, I’ll see you tomorrow, Mom.”

  “Bye, Emmie.” Her rough smoker’s rattle, peppered by the cold, was prevalent through her words.

  Maiya sighed. “Bye, Mom.”

  Thirty minutes after making it to work, Jodi appeared with two coffees in hand. She handed Maiya one of the cups. “Mornin’, girl.”

  “Morning, chica. Thanks.” Maiya sipped the warm brew.

  “Let’s go downstairs and smoke. You can tell me what happened.”

  “All right. Although I can’t stay down there long. Too much to get done before I jet out.” Maiya stood and grabbed her pack of cigarettes.

  They found an open bench in the courtyard and sat. Maiya lit a smoke and then handed the pack to Jodi.

  “So what happened?” Jodi lit a cigarette.

  “Well, he took me to Elise for dinner.”

  “Ooh, nice. Pricey there.”

  “Yeah, no shit. Have you been? Good lord, the steak is amazing.”

  Jodi twirled one of her long curls around a finger. “Kevin took me for our one-year anniversary. It’s nice.”

  “Nice is an understatement. I stuck out like a sore thumb.” Maiya drew on her smoke. “Anyway, it was great. I mean.” She shrugged. “We talked and laughed a lot.”

  “A unique thumb, but never a sore one.” Jodi bumped Maiya’s shoulder. “It sounds like you had a good time.”

  “We did. God, he kissed me in my office before I agreed to go.” Maiya traced the edge of her coffee lid. “And then he kissed me at the restaurant too.” She took a sip. “He’s a fucking fantastic kisser.”

  “Wow.” Jodi blew a low whistle. “So, what happened at the hotel?”

  Maiya took a last drag of her smoke and stubbed it out. “The hotel was awesome. Let me tell you, the man has moves I’ve never encountered before.” She ran her fingers through the length of her ponytail. “I can’t let myself think about it too much. Good grief.”

  “Damn, girl. Really?”

  “Oh yeah, really.” Maiya fanned herself. “He got me off with no problem, and then I got him off. I was naked in the bed waiting for him to join me after he finished in the bathroom. And instead, he fucking left.”

  “I couldn’t believe it when I read your text.”

  “He gave me some BS about having something he forgot he had to do… I dunno. It’s a mess.”

  “Damn straight it is!”

  “Yeah, well.” Maiya rolled her eyes. “I’m completely mortified.”

  Jodi rubbed Maiya’s shoulder. “Don’t be. This isn’t your fault. He’s the asshole; not you.”

  “I knew better.” Maiya looked down at her feet. “I never should have put myself out there. He’s not the guy for me.”

  “You’re too good for him, Maiya.”

  “Oh come on, Jodi. He’s way out of my league.”

  “Bullshit. That’s all I’m gonna say about it.” Jodi nodded and stood. “Come on, girl. Back to work.”

  “Another day, another dollar, right?” Maiya glanced to her left. Ryan was walking toward them and waved to her. “Speak of the devil, and the devil will call.” Maiya didn’t wave back.

  He waved again.

  Jodi placed a hand on her hip. “Oh, hell. Don’t even.”

  “Let’s go.” Maiya stepped away from the bench, pulling her friend with her.

  Ryan stopped and watched her walk away from him. Damn, she barely even looked at him.

  Dressed in more casual attire, she wore khaki pants, a white long-sleeved blouse and a pair of high-heeled sandals. A tie held all her hair up and away from her face. It surprised him how he noticed minute details about her; he’d never been this way before with a woman. She always managed to hide her tattoos too. It amazed him. Pretty much everything about her amazed him.

  God, he was a moron.

  He wasn’t sure how to fix this with her—wasn’t sure where to begin. Maybe it was best to give her space. There had to be a way though. Maybe she’d cool off and want to talk to him again.

  Might be better if she didn’t though, considering nothing about his situation was going to change. His concerns regarding his son were valid, but he didn’t want to leave things like this with her. His care was genuine, he just wasn’t sure he wanted to explore that too deeply. However the thought of not touching her again was maddening.

  There was one saving grace: she’d be forced to talk to him about the project. He’d work it from that angle and wear her down. Christ, what sort of tactic is that, anyway? Wear her down? Dumbass. He shook his head and entered the building.

  On the way to his cube, his cell rang. He checked the number and ducked into a conference room for privacy. “Hey, little man.”

  “Hi, Daddy!” Jacob sweet voice came over the line. “I had lots of fun on all the rides. Wait till you see the stuffed monkey Papa got me. I got to see Snoopy too.”

  “That’s awesome, Jacob.” He sat in one of the chairs. “Are you ready to come home tonight?”

  “Yup. You miss me, Daddy?”

  “I sure do, little man. I’m ready for some guy time. We can watch a movie. Good?”

  “Yes.” Ryan could hear his son’s smile through the phone. “Can we have ice cream sodas too?”

  “You got it. I’ll hit the store on the way home.” Jacob’s excitement helped soothe some of his regret. “See you soon, okay?”

  “Love you, Daddy.”

  “I love you too, Jacob. Bye.”

  Ryan disconnected the call and headed to his desk. There was a project with his name on it he needed to manage. All this business with Maiya would have to wait. Four conference calls later and a final run of reports, he leaned back in his seat and stretched. He’d missed lunch and his head was killing him too.

  Palming up a couple of ibuprofen from his desk drawer, Ryan got up to refill his coffee with the break room sludge. Maybe he’d get lucky and there’d be something edible in the vending machine.

  He chuckled to himself. Lucky? Yeah, there was a thought. He’d graduated high school with honors and a full football scholarship to the University of Washington State. He’d been lucky damn near his whole life, until he’d met Tammy the beginning of his senior year of college. She tended bar at a local pub. They were exclusive until he graduated, and when he moved back to California, she’d followed.

  He hadn’t minded. They got along okay and she got a job right away. Why not, right? She was fun. Tammy was a bright light in the center of the room people couldn’t help but notice. Hell, they wanted to notice. A wild spirit and hotter than h
ell, to boot. A lot like Maiya.

  Ryan looked up when he approached the office Maiya was using for the week. It was empty. Where is she? He spied her laptop still on the desk. At least she was still in the office. He lingered in the break room for a bit at a table he’d maneuvered so he could see the hall in front of her door.

  He had one shot at apologizing to her face to face and he wasn’t going to miss it.

  Maiya sat in her boss’s office reviewing the documents for the next project in the queue. In another month, Ryan’s project would be finished and her team would move on to the next one, which he wouldn’t be managing.

  Not wanting to see him again, she’d successfully avoided Ryan the remainder of the day, with the exception of the two conference calls she’d been required to attend. She’d stayed at her desk during the calls, with the phone on mute, listening to his voice on the line. Even though he was a mere few feet down the hall from her, she could almost pretend she was home…almost.

  A few times, she contemplated sending him a chat message, but stopped herself. She was not going to give in. It was screwed up what he did last night, and she wasn’t about to give him a chance to defend his actions with some lame ass excuse.

  She checked her watch—four p.m. She had enough time to grab a coffee and a smoke with Jodi before heading to the airport.

  “What time do you head out?” her boss asked.

  “In about thirty minutes.” She closed her notebook and gathered the paperwork in front of her. “I need to get packed up and say my goodbyes.”

  Tony leaned forward on his desk. “When do you think you want to come back?”

  She cringed but managed to school her features. “I don’t know. When do you want me back?”

  “The budgets are looking good right now. I’d like you back in a couple of weeks.” He stood. “It’s always good to have you in the office.”

  “Thanks, Tony.” She gathered her things. “I think I can make that work.” Dammit.

  “Given any thought to relocating back here?”

  “I…I can’t. My mother’s getting worse.”

  “I’m sorry to hear she isn’t doing well.” He put his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels. “I’d be willing to accommodate you having to rush back there if necessary.”

  “Thanks. You’ve been very generous to me. It’s appreciated.” She nodded and pursed her lips. “I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”

  “Take care, Maiya. Safe flight.”

  “I’ll be sure to tell the pilots.” She laughed.

  He smiled. “You do that.”

  Maiya exited his office and walked the long hallway to her own. Before she passed through the door, she spotted Ryan in the break room. With a resigned sigh, she stepped into her office. She sat at the desk, and waited.

  Five, four, three—

  “Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?”

  She placed her palms on top of her desk and kept her gaze down. “No.”

  “Come on, ba—Maiya. For just a minute, then I promise I’ll go. I want to—”

  “No, Ryan. No. No. Hell, no!” Maiya pressed the keys to shut down her computer. “There is nothing you have to say that I want to hear. Save it.” She refused to look at him.

  His gaze on her was palpable, but she ignored it and stowed her laptop in its bag. She sent a text off to Jodi telling her to meet her downstairs in five. Ryan sighed and Maiya glanced up, doing her best to appear uncaring. A well-practiced skill she’d used for many years on her mother.

  “I’m sorry, Maiya.” His voice was low but sure.

  She shook her head and looked away.

  And then he was gone.

  There went the best mistake she almost made. Good riddance. Maiya released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, grabbed her things and left the office.

  After a coffee and smoke with Jodi, she headed back to LAX in her rental. The sky was littered with gray clouds and traffic was murder. By the time she got the rental dropped off and hopped the shuttle to the terminal, it was pouring. One hell of a storm had rolled in and thanks to traffic and the downpour, she was running late.

  The line was eighty miles long for check-in. Fucking fabulous. Maiya had no choice but to wait her turn. When she reached the self check-in machine, she’d missed the cut-off time for bags. Nothing to do now but wait for the attendant to come over and give her the drill. As luck would have it the airline already canceled her flight due to the inclement weather. The next two were overbooked and the last one of the night wasn’t much better.

  “How’s tomorrow looking?” she asked the desk agent.

  “I have a seven, nine and ten thirty a.m. Which would you prefer?”

  She pulled the hair tie from her hair. “I’ll take the ten thirty, I guess.” So much for getting the hell out of Dodge. Maiya headed out front and grabbed a cab. Maybe she could stay with Jodi for the night, easier than trying to book a room.

  After giving the driver the address, she texted Jodi. With the traffic as bad as it was, her friend would be home by the time Maiya got there. She put her headphones in her ears and turned on her iPod. Shinedown’s “I’m Not Alright” flowed loud and perfect in her ears, and she laid her head back against the seat.

  Maiya always believed everything happened for a reason. She’d ignored Ryan’s apology. And now she was stuck here. It didn’t have to mean anything if she didn’t want it to. It didn’t mean she should hear him out.

  Or did it? Crap. Yes it does. Grabbing her phone, she pulled up the browser and did a quick search on his first and last name. Ding, ding, ding…jackpot, baby! She was doing this. After relaying the new address to the driver, she sent Jodi another text letting her know her change in plans.

  Was she nuts?

  Yep, for sure.

  She was being spontaneous, following her gut—the least she could do was hear him out. And it bothered her that she’d been such a bitch to him in the office. If his explanation was lame, then fine, at least she’d know for sure. All good. If it sounded legit, then maybe they could start over. At the very least it wouldn’t be so awkward working together.

  Nervous tension wove its way from her stomach to her hands. She flexed them a couple of times and shifted in the seat, trying to get comfortable. Ryan lived about thirty minutes past the office. She had at least an hour or more before she got there, plenty of time to calm her nerves. She hoped.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The sound of a car pulling up in his cul-de-sac got Ryan’s attention. It wasn’t even seven yet and all of Los Angeles was in gridlock, but his mother managed to get where she was going on time. The woman had skills.

  He opened the front door and his mouth dropped open.

  “Hi.”

  “Maiya?” He blinked. “What are you doing here?” He looked to her right and eyed her suitcase and computer bag.

  “My flight got canceled.” She gripped the end of her ponytail and squeezed the excess water from it. “Can I come in?”

  “Uh… Um, yeah… sure.” He glanced past her to the street. “I’m sorry, yes, please come in.” Shifting to the side, he motioned for her to enter. Her hair was wet from the storm. Not like he would turn her away under these circumstances. He wasn’t that much of an asshole.

  She motioned to her bags. “Can I leave these here by the door?”

  “Yeah, that’s fine. Can I get you something to drink? Coffee? A towel, maybe?”

  “Coffee’d be great, thanks.” She looked around. “Don’t worry about the towel. I’m fine. Nice house.”

  “Thanks. Coffee’s this way.” He turned and walked through the hall to the kitchen. Nervous energy bounced around his insides. Jacob would be home any minute. Maybe they’d be late and Maiya would be gone before they got there. Yeah right, not my mother.

  “I love these types of homes.
It’s a California bungalow, right? A big one though.”

  “Yeah. I’ve been fixing it up for a while. Done most of the work myself.” He pulled two mugs from the cabinet and poured them each coffee. “I finished the kitchen a few months ago.” He opened the fridge. “You want cream, right?”

  She turned in a circle, taking in the space. “It’s beautiful. Ah, yeah, cream and sugar.” The look on her face told him she was both shocked and impressed.

  “Thanks. I’m pretty happy with it.” He set the cream and sugar on the table. “Have a seat.” He watched her while she sat at the table. What the hell is she doing here? The nervous tension in his arms migrated to his shoulders, and he tilted his head and cracked his neck. Pushing the cream and sugar her way, Ryan took a seat at the opposite end of the table. “Help yourself.”

  “Thanks.

  Any minute now, his son would be walking through the door. Had she even noticed the drawings on the refrigerator or the ever-present toy cars and trucks scattered in the hall? Ryan swallowed the lump in his throat and waited for her to take a sip of her coffee before he spoke.

  She beat him to it.

  “So, I’m sorry to barge in on you, but I thought we should talk.” She cupped her mug in both hands.

  “How’d you find me?”

  “Spokeo. It’s a site online you should probably opt out of.” She sipped her coffee.

  “You make a habit of looking up people and just showing up at their house?” He didn’t mean it to sound so harsh, but he was a little peeved she’d shown up uninvited.

  Maiya choked on her coffee.

  He handed her a napkin. “Sorry.”

  Pressing it to her lips, she cleared her throat. “No, of course not. I figured since I was such a bitch earlier, it was maybe best to do this in person.”

  Where were his parents and son? “Did the great Maiya Rossini just admit to being a bitch?” He sipped his coffee. “I’m skeptical.”

  “You’re teasing me, right?”

  “Yeah.” He watched her. “I’m teasing you, Maiya.” He looked away and shifted in his seat. This was so not how he imagined this conversation would go.