Love's Ache (Gently Broken Series (Bonus)

by Ava Alise

  “Damn, Lizzie,” she says in a huff, and then leans toward me. “You have to give it time,” Kesha says, hugging me tightly.

  “I promise that the pain will start to go away. You just have to find a way to keep your mind busy while you heal. You can’t let it run you anymore.”

  I give her a smirk and nod as I continue to wipe the tears away then we sit quietly for a beat.

  “Hey, how was your night with Chris? Did you finally kiss him?” Kesha asks, smiling, wiping mascara from her cheeks.

  “Yes, you whore,” I say, somewhere between a laugh and a sniffle.

  Kesha and I are on our third glass of wine by the time I finish giving her all the details of my night with Chris, conveniently skipping the details of this morning.

  “WOW! YES! That’s what I wanted to hear. See, you need more or that and less of this!” she says, pointing to the wad of tissues I’ve accumulated.

  “Chris really is a lot of fun. There’s no pressure, and I find myself comfortably doing things with him that I would never do. Like, who decides to have sex in a parking lot?” I say with a laugh.

  Kesha clears her throat and cuts her eyes to the side, guiltily.

  “Okay, I forgot who I was talking to!” I say, and we both laugh.

  “Hell, if it’s the right guy and the right moment, parking lots can be fun,” she says, wiggling her brows.

  “You’ll have to tell me about it sometime,” I say.

  “So, Mr. Rebound has turned into Mr. Keep Around?” Kesha says with a devilish grin.

  “Ugh, you make it sound so sleazy.”

  “You said y’all had the ‘I don’t want anything serious’ conversation. Right?”

  “Well yeah, but—”

  “Do you plan on seeing him again?” she says, cutting me off.

  “Probably,” I say, but the half smile, half blush that comes across my face answers before I have to.

  Kesha shrugs and raises her brows as if to ask, “Well, what’s the problem then?”

  “Wait, how does being around Chris make you feel about Sean? You aren’t over there all crazy and guilty, are you?” Kesha asks, suddenly.

  “No," I laugh. "Honestly, I don’t think about Sean much when I’m with Chris. Chris doesn’t give me a chance; being with him is so intense. It’s like he makes me forget about real life, real pain, and just gives me the best parts.”

  Kesha and I talk at the table a bit longer, with her pressing me for more details on my “Stripper Sex” as she calls it. Ros comes home about thirty minutes later, and I beg Kesha not to tell Ros about my outburst of emotion. Kesha agrees. Ros joins us at the table, and we finish the bottle of wine before Kesha leaves.

  The last thing I see before I fall asleep is the look of pain and regret on Sean’s face before he walked away.

  LIZ

  “So how did your date with the dumb fuck go?” Tank asks. Dumb fuck is pretty much all he calls Sean nowadays. Is it universally a bad sign when both of your best friends hate the guy you’re in love with? Like, really hate him?

  “Fine, we had a good time,” I say with a smirk, attempting to fake enthusiasm for the two sets of eyes glued to me. Ros, of course, gave me the third degree when she got home that night, but I haven’t seen Tank since before spring break. Luckily, I’ve had almost a week to prepare for this conversation.

  “Fine? So he had nothing to say for himself?”

  “Neither of us brought anything up,” I say, putting emphasis on the word “neither”.

  Hearty laughter echoes through the café as a large group of students enter from the hall, briefly taking our attention away from the conversation.

  “Seriously, Zee, that fucker needs to grow a pair and take care of his shit; he’s danced around it long enough,” Tank seethes.

  “It’s fine. We’re going to get together again, and we’ll talk then. Everything was just awkward and all, with it being our first time hanging out.”

  Tank’s jaw ticks as he stares at me blankly, shaking his head.

  I feel a lecture coming on. I love my Tank, and I know he’s looking out for me, but I got this.

  I know how it sounds, though; I know I’m excusing the fact that we played pretend on our ‘maybe date’ last week. After the emotional fuck that was that day, I decided to unplug from the world and take some ‘me’ time. I told everyone that I was visiting my parents, and I went home for the rest of the week. I wasn’t exactly unreachable, because they live across town, but still, it helped. I went shopping with Mom, went to a GSU game with Dad, and just left all the emotional shit in the bags they came in. My family has always been close; it was always just the four of us, and we did everything together. After Della died we became closer, and for a long time, there wasn’t a day that went by where I didn’t talk to them. When I walked back into my bedroom at the apartment last night, all geared up for the first day back to classes, I felt good, refreshed. Those nights in my childhood bedroom provided me tons of time to think.

  I decided it’s good that Sean and I go at the pace we need to, however long it takes. I’m learning to be a better me without him. He’s amazing, super smart, and driven, but it comes at a fault sometimes. Sean’s intensity is what helped pull me out of the depression I was in, but it silences me in many ways. It also hit me that Sean has some issues that he needs to work on as well. He must have convinced himself that he was okay being with me before my divorce was final. He seemed so happy, unaffected and in love for a long time. The realization that he couldn’t deal with my marriage must have all come crashing down on him suddenly, and that’s when he ended it. I thought long and hard about it, and it’s the only explanation that makes sense.

  I can be angry and hurt, but I can’t blame him for being human. So, I’m going to go on living, learning and experiencing life after the depression, after the pain, and just be a twenty-one-year-old college girl. That’s it, not a wife, not a divorcee, not a grieving sister or sad girl who got dumped, just, Liz. Hopefully, when we land our relationship, we’ll be all the better for it.

  “So, how are things with the girlfriend?” Ros asks.

  Tank’s expression changes immediately, he looks at Ros, glances at me, and looks at Ros again. “Not great,” he says.

  Ros looks surprised, and her eyes linger on him and something unsaid passes between them.

  “Oh no. What happened?” I ask concerned.

  “It’s complicated, Zee,” he grimaces, inhaling a large breath. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  We sit quietly for a while, finishing our lunch, everyone noticing the mood shift, but not wanting to press the issue. Tank isn’t really a talker, that’s why, during my lowest times, I’d call him. The girls in my life, I love them, but some things can’t be fixed with talking. Sometimes you just have to let your brain experience your emotions. Tank would run with me, he’d take me on silent road trips, and when things were really bad, he’d take me to his uncle’s boxing gym to ‘beat the hell out of life’ he’d say. I wouldn’t say he’s the ‘strong silent’ type, but more so the ‘he’ll tell you when he’s ready’ type. After they leave for class, I head to the track for a run.

  A few weeks pass, and things are beginning to look up. Chris and I have gotten together just about every weekend. Unfortunately, this means that he has experienced a few more reactions to my dreams.

  Sean has started meeting me at the track once a week, I still have no idea what he’s thinking though. Sometimes he’s happy during our run, and I see glimpses of the old Sean, but other times he’s sad, or even angry. At first, I was excited when he started running with me, but now, I’m beginning to dread it. He’s turned something that I love, into something so intense, that I’m almost happy when he doesn’t join me. Fortunately, today I’m meeting with Chris for a run.

  Yesterday morning, Chris and I were talking about shower sex, and to torture him, I sent him a sexy selfie as I was getting out of the shower. When I got his picture response, I almost dropped the ph
one, he’s standing in the shower, looking up at the phone, soaked, and I could see everything, well, not everything. Let’s just say every soaking wet ab, drenched bicep and lickable chest muscle were all present.

  I stared at that picture for longer than I'm comfortable admitting, and I couldn't help but replay all the dirty things he said to me the other night in my mind.

  Remind me not to play sexy picture wars with a fucking stripper, who owns a waterproof phone.

  I scan the parking lot, looking for Mr. Sexy and his sexy car. Ever since he sent that picture, my mind has been so deep in the gutter everything reminds me of sex. I'm such a guy right now. I stand on the curb squinting, scanning the ocean of cars, looking for his, when I hear a voice behind me.

  “Aye, Red,” he says, and I know he is smiling before I turn around.

  Chris is sitting about fifteen feet away on a bench, tucked off to the side by a bush.

  “Why are you being creepy, hiding in the bushes?” I say, walking toward him laughing.

  “How long have you been sitting there anyways?”

  I try hard to continue to look him in the face, but he’s in workout gear and his shirt is sticking to his body like honey.

  Mmm… what I can do with him, and some honey…

  “Long enough to watch your sexy ass bounce around on your tippy toes trying to see over the cars,” he says, standing, grabbing my hand.

  “Oh, really?”

  “Shit, it’s ass and I’m male.”

  He flashes that ‘kill me now’ smile, I laugh, and we walk toward his car.

  “Alright, so there are a few places in town I like to run, but my favorite place to go is the trails at Center Park. It’s kind of hilly at times, but it’s a nice five miles. Can you handle it?” I say, challenging Chris after we are buckled in and pulling out of the parking lot.

  “You are the one who said you are just getting back into running, can YOU handle it?” he teases.

  “Oh, don’t worry about me, baby, you just try and keep up,” I say, cocking an eyebrow. I punch in Center Park on his GPS.

  All week, Chris has been challenging me, claiming he’s in better shape than I am. Granted, he’s way stronger, but I doubt he can keep up with me on a run. It took me a bit, but I’ve gotten my pace and stamina back since my hiatus, and now I’m a beast. Muscle memory and all that shit, it’s like riding a bike and he will be in my dust. Honestly, though, I’m happy he came. Before a few weeks ago, he was always smiling, and while he still smiles a lot, he seems a lot less at ease. I finally asked him about it and he told me his son’s mother was taking him to court, I can only imagine how stressful that must be.

  About fifteen minutes later, we pull into the park’s entrance and head toward the trail. After some stretching and some shit talking, we start on a steady pace side by side through the trees.

  “So, how many time have you run this trail?” he asks, taking my attention from the synchronized pounding of our feet.

  “A lot. I haven’t been here recently though.”

  “It’s nice out here.”

  The sun flickers across his face as he looks up at trees. We continue at a steady pace under our leafy canopy. I guess it is pretty nice out here, I’m usually so zoned into my run when I come, that I stopped looking at the scenery a long time ago. We chit chat and begin to increase the pace as we hit mile two.

  I begin to feel the burn in my legs as we reach the top of the hill that marks the end of our third mile. Working hard to keep my breathing even, I glance over at Chris, who seems to be un-phased, though I have a feeling that he’s giving me a strong poker face. The steepness and length of the hill we just finished, especially at the pace we kept, would make even the most seasoned runner’s legs ache. We push our pace as we continue, but we grow quiet, just the sound of the birds, the pounding of our feet, and our steady breathing fill my ears.

  Sweat beads from my forehead and the sun tattoos leaf imprints on our skin as it shines through the trees. I love to run, I love everything about it. How my heart races, my body heats up, and even, the ache of my spent muscles. I feel powerful and alive, and tingles begin to run through my body as I break through my plateau. I cut my eyes over to Chris, his eyes are lit brightly as we approach the clearing, marking the end of our five-mile trail. He looks invigorated and exhausted at the same time. We collapse to the ground in a grassy patch when we reach the top of the last hill.

  “Damn, that was nice,” Chris says, through jagged breathes. He lies in the grass and rolls onto his back.

  “Feels great, right?” I say.

  I lay next to him, chest heaving, but loving every horribly amazing second.

  “Yeah, it does,” he grins, I hold his gaze and return his smile.

  I remember the last time we were in this position, sweaty, laying on our backs, trying to catch our breath, what we did then felt fucking great too.

  Chris continues to smile at me innocently; seemingly proud of his accomplishment, maybe even of the feat we just shared, but my smile slowly turns into a blush.

  Damn, he’s probably all happy from this runner’s high, and all I can do is picture him lying next to me naked and sweaty from having just fucked me properly. God… I'm a pig.

  I break his gaze and turn my head toward the sky before he can get a full view of my perverted blush. I drag one hand across my mouth, literally trying to wipe the smirk off my face.

  “You aren’t really that surprised, are you?” he asks, with a doubtful tone drawing my gaze back to him.

  “Surprised?”

  “I could make it through your little run.”

  “Ha! Little run, bullshit! I’m surprised you lasted.”

  Chris props his head up on his elbow then I feel the entire length of his body pressing into the side of mine, as he dips in close to my ear. My body immediately stiffens, and it feels like I sink a few inches into the grass.

  “I thought I showed you multiple times just how long I could last the other night,” he says in a deep voice. My brain emphasizing words like ‘multiple’, ‘long’ and ‘last’ causing it to teeter. My blush returns.

  Well, at least I’m not the only “perv” in the park. Wait, that sounds horrible.

  Chris is smiling at me, waiting on my usual snarky response, but since I’ve been trying to keep my own my inner ‘perv’ under control today, I have a hard time coming up with something that makes sense. Instead, desire takes over, as I let his words sink in.

  God, yes, it was multiple, and long… and… shit, why did he have to wear that damn shirt.

  A tingle runs down my spine, and I shudder. He must have noticed because his smile changes slightly and he sweeps his eyes down my body. By the time his eyes make it back to mine, his smile has gone, he looks all business and I love when he gets that fucking look in his eyes. Chris looks from my lips to my eyes, and I smile up at him waiting for him to kiss me. The warmth and dampness of his skin matches my own, I notice, when he places his forehead against mine, but no kiss.

  “So what are you doing for the rest of the day?” he asks.

  “Nothing planned,” I say, quietly. His lips are hovering over mine and its torture. I want to tilt slightly and bite that juicy bottom lip of his. A sexy grin appears on his face and, fuck it, I assault that lip. The moment my mouth touches his, he groans and my control breaks. As if on cue, the cast of the “Golden Girls” come power walking toward the clearing. This park has four different trails that all loop back here at the clearing because it’s the closest point to the parking lot. Before we get arrested for public indecency, he begrudgingly moves away and we walk to the car.

  As soon as our butts hit the seats, he reaches for me, one hand pulling his door shut behind him, and the other hand pulling me toward him. In the hot, humid car, he gives me the kiss I ached for minutes ago. His kiss is slow, sexy, deep, and I drink him in, wrapping my arms around his neck. It’s not long before we break apart, dripping with sweat and gasping for air. Chris quickly pushes the
button to start the car and rolls the windows down.

  “Sorry, I thought I started the car.”

  “It’s ok, I’ve been waiting for you to kiss me all day, so it was worth it,” I smirk.

  “All day, huh?” he asks, raising a brow.

  “Well, actually, ever since you sent me that shower selfie.”

  “Haha, I thought you might like that.”

  I run my eyes down his very fit, very sweaty, body. In that moment, I realize I won’t be able to regain control of my brain from the “perv” until I get my hands on him.

  “You know, I could actually use a shower right now,” I say, trying to sound sultry. I’m still not completely confident in my powers of seduction, but since I feel so comfortable with him, I just go for it.

  It must have worked because Chris snaps a look at me with both eyebrows raised questioningly. I hold his gaze as a slow smile creeps across my face, he smiles back and immediately begins backing out of the parking space. Glancing over at him, my mind takes me back to that sexy as fucking fuck shower selfie. I feel my heartbeat pick up and my inner muscles clench as I imagine him standing there, water pouring, smiling at me, walking toward me, grabbing my ass, lifting me up and…

  Fuck, he really needs to drive faster, because if I don’t start thinking about something else, we might not make it to the shower, we might not make it out of this car.

  Arriving at his house, I’m sure the guys will be surprised to see him here on a Monday. There are still a few hours before he has to pick up his son, and I told him I’d Uber from here so he didn’t have worry about backtracking when the time came. Chris kills the ignition, grabs my hand, and leads me through the house.

  “Liz!” JJ and Ty say as we stride past the living room where they sit. I smile, but Chris doesn’t stop moving. I get out a weak “Hey” as Chris continues to pull me through the house.

  Uhmm… I guess he’s making a B-line to his bedroom.

  We run into Paul coming out of the hall bath, literally.