Hidden Desires: A Romantic Suspense Novel

by Lexie Davis

  “Sure we do. You just want to be left alone with the hottie.” Summer grinned.

  Autumn felt her cheeks heating again. “Fine, I want to be left alone with the hottie.” She walked to the door with the files and glanced over her shoulder at Summer with a grin. “You don’t have to worry about coming back.”

  In the main lobby, Autumn found Jackson painting over the harsh red letters of “whore” written along the wall. His bare back was to her, his body slightly turned giving her a perfect view of his tattoo. It was the same one her father had on his back, the same one Nick and Davis had on their chest. The eagle sat on top of the world with an anchor piercing through the side. It was common in the military, and Autumn knew just like her brothers that Jackson did it for one cause.

  She sighed. “Hey, Jax.”

  He turned his head at the sound of her voice, though he continued to paint. “Hey. Something wrong?”

  “You’re distracting me.” She smiled and sat in the middle of the floor to calculate the day’s bills.

  “Sorry.” He watched her tip her water bottle to her lips and paused. “But I think you’re the distracting one.”

  He dipped the roller in the paint pan and began to roll the excess off. His muscles flexed with each push and pull, the tattoo dancing to its own beat. Autumn sat mesmerized, thinking that never in a million years would he ever date a girl like her. They had met through her father and had slept together out of stupidity. But if the circumstances were different and they had met out on the street, a guy like Jackson would look the other way when given the opportunity to be with her.

  “You’re staring at me.” Without looking at her, he resumed painting.

  “Sorry. I’m tired and just thinking.” She looked down at the pile of papers in her lap. “What made you decide to join the Marines?”

  Jackson sat the pole with the paint roller attached aside and grabbed his shirt. Groaning, he rubbed the sweat from his face and tossed the shirt aside. “My life. It wasn’t exactly perfect, far from it actually, and the military was the only way out.”

  “Do you ever see your family?”

  “Nope.” He grabbed the pole again and dipped the roller in the paint.

  Jackson offered no more and Autumn let it go. He hated talking. Unless it was making some smart-ass remark or turning her on. He detested talking about feelings most of all. She didn’t understand it since her mother had raised her to speak her mind and to get everything off her chest, good or bad. Her father never protested when she’d question him either.

  She was a feelings kind of girl. One who said what needed to be said. Jackson spoke his mind, but left the emotions bottled up inside. Why it killed him to tell her anything significant, she couldn’t comprehend. Give him time. But how much time did they really have?

  Two hours of billing and she wanted to pound her head against the wall. She ached, and she couldn’t stop thinking about the mysteries of Jackson. He wanted to know about her relationship with Frank, and all the nitty gritty details she told Jeffery. Good luck with that. She didn’t know if it hurt her more that he didn’t ask her about her life or that he went behind her back to ask her brother.

  He finished painting the walls when he ran out of paint and decided to finish working on the countertop. The place was slowly coming together again and all Autumn could do was pray it remained that way.

  “Okay, I need a break and couple of Tylenol.” She scooped up the papers around her and stood with them in her arms. “I want to do something together. Something that has nothing to do with work and something that is out of my house.”

  Jackson sat the paint roller aside and focused his attention on her. “What do you want to do?”

  “I want to go on a date. Something that is just us having fun. I need to have fun.” She sat the pile on the counter and twisted the top of her water bottle. “What do you say?”

  “Depends. Do you put out on the first date?”

  Her jaw dropped. Annoyed, Autumn scoffed.

  “Oh, all right. I suppose I’ll suffer through the agony of having fun with you with no intentions of sex afterward. It’ll be torture but I’ll manage,” he said.

  Autumn rolled her eyes. “You’re a buffoon.”

  “Yeah and you’re smiling. I succeeded with my mission.” Jackson gathered all the painting supplies. “You pick what we do and where we go while I rinse these brushes.”

  She watched him walk toward the back. Although she’d seen his body many times, she simply couldn’t stop staring. When he returned, he shook a few brushes at her, sprinkling water across her cheeks.

  “Quit!” She grabbed his hands and pushed them away from her. “You’re getting me wet.”

  He chuckled. “Isn’t that the point?”

  His arms came around her. She was helpless against the strong man and surrendered with a light kiss. “You’re so bad.”

  “To the bone, baby. Where are we going?”

  “I want to walk in the park. It’s not overly romantic or even remotely fun, but it does let me clear my head.” Jackson’s hands slid to her ass and she lifted her legs around his waist. “You can even hold my hand.”

  He smiled. “Whatever you want. What about the much-needed work to be done?”

  She looked around the room and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Well, since Summer went on hiatus, I think our work can wait until tomorrow. Besides my no-good brother and his wife are coming in. Got to save something for them.”

  “Jeff will get a kick out of that.”

  After they grabbed their stuff and locked the door, Autumn crawled in the truck beside Jackson, grateful to be alone with him outside the mess. He put his shirt back on, though the simple fabric did nothing to hide the strong muscles beneath.

  After spending an hour walking hand in hand at the park, they stopped by the local Chinese place and grabbed a quick order of takeout. Home couldn’t have sounded better to Autumn when they pulled in the drive, her bed sounding even better.

  “How come you don’t wear your dog tags?” she asked out of the blue.

  He tilted his head to the side. “I’m not really in the Marine Corp any more. I do odds and ends kind of stuff, but I’m basically a soldier for hire. I don’t really have a need to wear them any more.”

  “I used to wear my dad’s when he was home. I snuck in my parent’s room and took them off the dresser. He used to get so mad at me because he was afraid I’d lose them. I don’t know what made me think of that just now.” She sighed and gathered her belongings along with the food.

  “The Major is really special to you, isn’t he?”

  “Of course. He’s my dad.” Autumn saw pain that she couldn’t identify in his eyes. “I don’t want to pry, but I would like to know where you come from sometime.”

  “My life began when I turned eighteen and entered the Marines. That’s all there is to know.”

  She watched Jackson climb out of the truck and walk toward her house. She didn’t understand what his statement meant but knew he would tell her in his own time. If he really wanted her to know, he’d tell her everything that she saw hurting him. He never showed weakness, and she chalked up his behavior to male pride.

  “I’m going to take a quick shower,” he said when she came through the door. He started stripping, walking toward the hall. “It’s been a helluva, day and I stink. I’ll only be a minute.”

  Autumn glanced at the bag of food in her arms and sighed. The food will be cold by the time you get out and sweet and sour chicken is never good cold. She kept her thoughts to herself and went to the kitchen bar to began sorting through the containers. She didn’t bother with plates, too tired to clean up the mess when they were done. After everything was situated, she poured herself a glass of iced tea and sat in her regular spot.

  Ten minutes later Jackson came back with a towel wrapped around his waist, damp from his shower. “I’m starved.” He took his seat next to her. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I’m ju
st tired. It’s seven and I’m ready to fall asleep. How sad is that?” She bit into her egg roll.

  “I’m with ya.” Jackson literally dug into his food, inhaling it more than actually chewing it.

  Autumn watched him, amazed at how different women were from men. Even living with four men for nearly five years of her teenage life, she still didn’t understand them, couldn’t begin to fathom their way of thinking or their rationality on things.

  “Jax, that food isn’t going anywhere.” She chuckled and stood. “Take a breath in between bites and actually chew it.”

  Jackson turned his head toward her. He looked adorable sitting on her bar stool naked with sweet and sour sauce on his lips. She couldn’t help leaning forward to lick off the excess, which gained a groan from him

  His lips parted, and she slid her tongue between them. It was their first real kiss for the day, the peck this morning not counting. She ached for this man all day long, and now, she could finally have him.

  Autumn pulled away and licked her own lips. “I’m going to bed. Will you clean this up?”

  Jackson nodded. “I’m almost done.”

  “Good night.” She kissed his cheek. It crossed her mind to add the “I love you” phrase, but deep inside, she knew it wasn’t the right time. She felt it, had for years in fact, but Jackson was easing into this relationship with baby steps. He didn’t need to be scared away before they even got started.

  She entered her room and pulled out a black cami and boy short set to sleep in and changed. She didn’t bother picking her clothes off the floor but kicked them to the side and crawled into bed. The headache eased with the food, but her muscles ached.

  She heard Jackson clanging around in the kitchen and saw the light flick off as he came down the hall. She held her breath wondering which room he’d pick to sleep in, and let it out when he entered hers. He dropped the towel with a soft thud and then she felt the mattress dip beneath his weight. He pulled the covers over him as he settled in beside her.

  “I know you said you don’t put out on the first date, but do you wanna fool around? It’s been a long day and I think it’s the least we owe ourselves.”

  She chuckled. “You’re such a romantic.”

  “I’m not in the mood for romance.”

  Honestly, neither was she. “Fine. But I’m not moving. You have to do all the work.”

  He laughed. “I was hoping you’d be the one to take the lead.”

  Jackson found her mouth and started kissing her. His hand came to her side, slipping beneath the cami to touch skin. The moon cast a warm glow in the bedroom, giving them the perfect amount of light. In its own way, the soft glow created a romantic vibe.

  Jackson moved over her, pushing her legs wide with his body as he settled between them. This was it. Jackson was finally in her bed, in her life again. It may not be exactly like her dreams, but he was here. Alive and in the flesh. For some reason, it’s all that seemed to matter at the moment.

  He didn’t break the kiss as he worked at removing her clothing. The cami came off quickly, and his mouth found hers again. The shorts came next. His fingers lingered along her thighs. Each brush against her heated flesh sent shivers throughout her body. He touched her pussy, and she gasped.

  Autumn was thirsty with an unquenchable lust. Not only did she want this man, she had to have him. It was a force to be reckoned with, a need so strong her body was on fire from it. Jackson didn’t dare force anything on her. With his tongue in her mouth, his lips caressing hers, Autumn knew she had definitely brought this on herself. And now his fingers were sliding inside her, mimicking the most intimate act two humans could possibly partake in.

  “Jax.” She fisted her hands in the silky wet strands of his hair. “Oh, God, Jax.”

  She wanted him filling her up, bringing her release the way no other man had. This morning had been a mere appetizer, a preview of what she had lost and a promise of what she’d find.

  He pulled his fingers from her body and lightly pinched her nipple. Raw pleasure shot down her spine heading straight for her clit. He stopped kissing her long enough to lick off her cream, swirling his tongue around the hard peak and then pulling it into his mouth to suck. Autumn whimpered and melted back against the soft sheets.

  This was how it was suppose to be. With nothing separating them, Autumn reached out and stroked his hard flesh. He groaned in pleasure, the smooth languorous strokes she knew would drive him absolutely mad. A drop of fluid already emitted from the tip of his cock, and she used her finger to spread it around. Jackson’s breath came harsh from his lungs. He simply rested his head against her stomach and let her touch him.

  Autumn slid one hand down his side, raking her nails along his back from shoulders to ass before gripping him tightly and pulling him closer. “Jackson, please.”

  She held his cock in position for him to enter her. Autumn hooked her legs around his thighs and waited for him to move. As if the heavens aligned and the gods all agreed, Jackson pushed a tantalizing inch inside, stretching her completely.

  He grunted and thrust deeper. Sweat poured out of his body with his strained control. By sheer force of will, Autumn gripped his buttocks and pulled him to her, pushing him completely inside her. She clung to him, wrapped her arms around him. He dropped his forehead against her chest, a signal she took to mean he, too, felt he’d come home. This was all she ever wanted. It was all they ever needed.

  “You are too much, sweetheart.” He nuzzled against her, kissing every part he could. His breath was hot against her breasts, his lips a tantalizing caress. “I want to stay like this forever.”

  He pulled back completely and thrust inside her again. Jackson made sure he continued to kiss her. He took her mouth greedily, kissing her hard. The taste of him, the smell of him branded itself in her mind. She never wanted it to end.

  Three days ago, if she mentioned Jackson Cooper’s name, she would have fumed. And now . . . now upon hearing his name she felt a yearning embedded deep inside she didn’t want to ignore. Jackson made her crave him. It was beyond anyone’s ability to stop, but Jackson gave her pleasure beyond her wildest fantasies. He gave her body the sweet bliss of climax from a great round of sex. Most of it may only be physical, but she couldn’t get enough of it. She’d never be able to separate her feelings from the act, and knew without one doubt she only set herself up for hurt again.

  But this time she didn’t care. She simply didn’t care.

  Jackson came, pouring himself into her with little jerks of ecstasy. Autumn watched pleasure fill the dark features of his face, his lips drawn back, teeth bared.

  She wanted him to be the one for her, the one her mother was convinced was out in the world searching for her. Her better half, as her father would say. Nobody made her feel like he did, both in the good and bad times.

  His finger brushed her clit, giving her the little push she needed. “Come for me, baby,” he whispered, and she did.

  Sparkles of light shined behind closed eyelids as fireworks exploded within her body. She clinched him tight between her thighs, dug her nails into his back. She never wanted it to end. Slowly, she came back to earth.

  After a while, Jackson rolled to the side and stared up at the ceiling. Neither said anything, and the moment couldn’t have felt more perfect. She laced her fingers with his and smiled with her eyes closed.

  The thought of their last time together drifted into her mind, the one before he left her father’s ranch. She convinced him to have a picnic with her at midnight, in the moonlight. The grilled cheese sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies weren’t exactly the best meal in the world. They made love beneath the moon in the middle of her father’s field, something she’d never forget for the rest of her days. The stars cast a luminescent glow on their sweaty skin, a reminder that some moments in life are meant to be remembered. Cherished even. That moment, with Jackson above her, wearing only his dog tags around his neck, she knew would stay with her forever.

  “Ho
w come you never told your father about us?” he asked, drawing them out of silence.

  Autumn rolled to her side and pressed a kiss against his tattoo. “Can you imagine what he’d say? I was his angel. He liked you, but I doubt he’d like the idea of you taking my virginity. Hell, didn’t he assign you as my bodyguard against our neighbor, Evan, from down the street? The poor boy was too scared to even look at me, much less touch me.”

  Jackson untangled their fingers and wrapped his arm around her. “I told him I’d snap his neck if he touched you.”

  Autumn pulled back to look at him. “You did not.”

  He chuckled. “Okay. That was Jeff, but I was standing beside him. Of me, Jeff, and Davis, I suppose I was the most threatening. I was the biggest, and poor little Evan didn’t stand a chance.”

  Autumn laid her head on his chest and circled his navel with her fingertip. “What about now? Does Evan stand a chance with me now?”

  “Not with me around.” Jackson squeezed her tighter against him. “You’re all mine.”

  His words thrilled her like nothing else. A small part of her insisted that he only said it because they were dating now, but the other part firmly said that he’s good at telling women what they want to hear. Autumn was the queen at reading too much into words spoken, and with Jackson, she didn’t know what to take to heart and what to brush away.

  “Since your family is coming in town, how are we going to work out the sleeping arrangements?”

  “Jeffery and Kristin will get the bed I gave you, and you’ll get my bed.” She closed her eyes against him, picturing in her mind what Jeffery would have to say about that. “I don’t care what other’s think, Jax. Do you?”

  “No. Why would you think that?”

  “Jeffery is Jeffery. He’s the big, bad know-it-all. Don’t let him get under your skin.” She yawned and smiled. “Besides, I’m supposed to be mad at you for calling him in the first place.”

  “Yeah. You sure looked mad when I made you come.” Jackson kissed her and then pulled the covers over them. After tucking them around her he leaned over to kiss her again. “You need some sleep, jolie fille.”