Hidden Desires: A Romantic Suspense Novel

by Lexie Davis

  “Doc, one of the mothers is hurt. She has a few burns on her back. I think she was protecting her puppies from the fire.”

  Autumn grabbed her bag and began taking care of the animal, assessing and dressing the wound. She checked over the puppies as well, counting them and noting any disturbances.

  After working with the animals for a few minutes, Autumn was satisfied each of them would survive. She doctored the hurt, loved the scared, and petted the contrary. You lose again, Frank. Might as well give up.

  “Well, sis, you’re the miracle worker.” Davis wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pressed a light kiss to her temple. “Again.”

  It wasn’t often that Davis was nice to her, but he always showed he cared. “Thank you for helping.”

  “What was I suppose to do?” He moved away from her and picked up one of the puppies that was whining for attention. “Leave these little guys in there to die. I don’t think so.”

  The bloodhound licked at Davis’s fingers and nibbled on them as he scratched its belly. Autumn pet the dog in his arms and shook her head. “You need one of those.”

  “Yeah. You gonna take care of him while I’m out of the country?”

  “Sure.” She focused her attention on the mother. “I’d rather you have a dog than a kid.”

  Davis chuckled. “You and me both.”

  * * * *

  After fighting the fire most of the night, the crew returned to Autumn’s house. Davis called dibs on the shower first, though all of them felt gritty and were plenty dirty.

  Autumn pointed her finger at him. “If you use all the hot water, I’ll murder you in your sleep.”

  “Kiss my ass.” Davis hit his rear and headed down the hall.

  Kristin grabbed a few towels to throw over the sofa and recliner to keep them from getting dirty and the rest of the crew plopped down, exhausted from the night full of events.

  “Bed sounds really nice,” Jeffery commented, rubbing his eyes. “Did you guys find out anything?”

  Jackson had the loveseat all to himself and stretched out the length of it. “Yep. Gallagher is running a puppy mill for one thing, breeding mostly pit bulls. There were a few other breeds, but they looked mostly hybrid. We also think he’s into dog fighting. He has a ring in his backyard and everything.”

  “What?” Autumn sat up from her spot in the recliner. “You went to Frank’s house today? That’s where you and Davis were all that time?”

  Jackson propped his head up with his hands. “Don’t be pissed, Autumn. We’ve all had a long day. I promise you can yell at me first thing in the morning.”

  She stared at him, mouth open, eyes wide. “No. I’ll yell at you now if I damn well please! What do you mean he’s running a puppy mill? Did you report him to the police? You should have stayed until they came and took care of everything. They need to be out of there.”

  Jackson groaned and dropped his head back. “Here we go.”

  “And what about the dog fighting? Did you see them? Did he have the animals fighting while you were there?” Autumn paused and glared at him. “What do you mean ‘here we go’?”

  “Autumn, all I’m asking for is a break. I’m tired. I stink, and I really just want some sleep.” Jackson sat up. “So I’m asking you to hold off on the bitching and complaining until morning and then you can have at it.”

  “Fine.” Autumn stood and directed her attention to Jeffery and Kristin. “Good night.”

  She left the room annoyed and frustrated with Jackson. This was the second time he wanted to wait until morning to talk things over. He never wanted to deal with anything in the moment.

  She went straight to the bathroom and ran a tubful of water adding strawberry scented bubbles. She tossed her dirty clothes in the hamper making a mental note to carry them to the wash first thing in the morning. All she could smell was the stench of smoke, and if she didn’t watch it, her entire bathroom would smell that way.

  After lighting a few candles, she dimmed the lights, and closed the door. Then, she stepped into the bath and sank back in the large tub. Intent on relaxing, she grabbed her pink blindfold and pulled it over her eyes. It didn’t matter. She wouldn’t let Frank get to her tonight.

  She hadn’t been in the bathtub five minutes before the unlocked door opened. Immediately, she knew she forgot something. She pushed the blindfold up and narrowed her eyes at Jackson. “Go away.”

  “Why do you do this?” He sat on the edge of the tub propping his head on his fist as he watched her. “Our last fight was only a couple days ago. I was hoping we wouldn’t have another for at least ten years.”

  Autumn kept her mouth shut and pulled her blindfold back in place. Of course, it was her fault. Again.

  “And here we go with the silent treatment.”

  Autumn ignored him. He was worse than Davis when he didn’t get his way. Both cried and pouted until someone gave in. Jackson, she found, hated the cold shoulder. She heard the rasp of his zipper and the soft sounds of his jeans coming off and being tossed in the hamper. Nice to know he’s making himself at home.

  He then stepped next to her legs and situated himself at the other end of the bathtub. He pulled her legs up and propped her feet on his thighs.

  “Can’t I have some privacy?” She tore off the blindfold and threw it across the bathroom. “Maybe I want to be alone. Did you ever think of that? You don’t have to be with me twenty-four-seven. Maybe I just want a simple bath with some quiet time all to myself.”

  Jackson rested his head against the wall, eyes closed as his thumbs traveling the length of her soles. “If that’s what you really wanted, I would have given it to you. It’s not what you want.”

  Autumn narrowed her eyes. “You don’t know what I want because you never ask. You just do what everyone in my family does. You do what you think is best for me.”

  He opened his eyes, the tips of his fingers gently caressing the tops of her feet. “We’re a lot alike, Autumn. You don’t think so because your eyes only see what you want, but we are.”

  She pulled her feet from his grasp and sat up, baring her breasts to the cooler air. The bubbles drizzled down popping against her skin in a tingling sensation.

  “You think you know me?”

  “Yeah. I do.” Jackson glanced down at her bare breasts then closed his eyes again, resting his head against the wall. “You say you want peace and quiet which just means you want to sulk until I come in here and make it all better. Don’t deny it because that’s exactly what you want. You want me to beg your forgiveness, tell you I’m a complete moron and kiss every inch of your body to make up for it.”

  “Sex doesn’t solve everything, Jackson. I’m sorry you think it does.” She grabbed the loofah and squirted some bath gel in the middle.

  “It does solve a lot though. Releases tension. Creates intimacy. Gives you reason to cuddle without your best friend making fun of you.” His lips tilted up in a smile, and his voice deepened, became more intimate. “Not to mention it gives you pleasure at the end of a crappy day. In my book, that takes care of most problems.”

  Autumn rolled her eyes with a small smile on her face. Typical Jackson answer. “What if your sex partner is mad at you?”

  “You apologize your fuckin’ heart out so she’ll give you some.” He opened his eyes with a smile.

  “Wow.” Autumn threw the loofah at him and rinsed her body with handfuls of water.

  “Oh, come on, Autumn. Lighten up. I’m just joking.” He grabbed her arm and she pulled away. With quick movements, he went for her ankles and achieved his goal, pulling her legs apart and moving over her. He pressed her into the side, his face inches from her own. “You’re so beautiful. Even when you get riled up, you have that post-orgasmic glow. Rosy cheeks. You nibble at your lower lip trying to hold in your smile. Wide, attentive eyes. Do you have any idea how lost I get when I’m surrounded by you? When I’m deep inside you I never want to pull out. When I’m staring into your eyes, I never want to look away.
”

  Autumn closed her eyes though her hands still gripped his biceps. “I feel like I’m in a one sided relationship with you, Jackson. That I’m giving it my all and you’re livin’ it up. You keep things from me, mainly your little trip to Gallagher’s.”

  His hand came out of the water to tilt her chin up. “Is this really about Gallagher? Because if it is, I’ll tell you everything we did today starting with us leaving the house.”

  “This is about you, Jackson. I want to know we’re in this together. I’m tired of feeling like I’m the only one who cares.”

  “The only one who cares about what?”

  “Everything.” Tears leaked out the corners of her eyes and she blinked them away. “I feel like a burden. Nobody really gives a damn whether I get my clinic open. Nobody really cares about those puppies that almost died in the fire. Nobody cares about Frank’s puppy mill or the dog fighting.”

  “I do.” Jackson moved to her side to sit by her. “I’ll admit I didn’t at first. I distanced myself from you and considered you a job, but after I saw you working with Dodo, something changed. You’re not a burden. Your family loves you, and they care about the clinic and the puppies and the shit going down with Gallagher. They care because you care. We all love you, Autumn, so quit feeling sorry for yourself.”

  “You love me?”

  He stood and grabbed a towel. With his back to her he wrapped it around his waist and took a seat on the closed toilet, staring at her. “You’re pretty hard not to love.” Tears formed in her eyes again. “No. Don’t you dare do that to me. I don’t have the energy.”

  Autumn pulled the drain plug and stood, reaching for the towel on the rack next to him. He handed it to her, and she wrapped it around her body, bubbles sliding down her legs and onto the bathmat.

  “I don’t know why that’s so hard for you to admit, but one day, I hope telling me you love me comes easy for you.”

  She blew out the candles and exited the bathroom leaving Jackson alone in the dark.

  Chapter Thirteen

  When Jackson awoke he was alone in Autumn’s bed with the sheets bunched around his hips. He yawned and sat up, glancing at the clock on the nightstand. 12:45. Damn.

  He grabbed the pair of pajama bottoms draped on the papasan chair in the corner of the room. He hadn’t meant to sleep this late, though he’d been damned tired when his head hit the pillow. Autumn, however, stayed up and talked to—no drilled—him about Gallagher until he finally told her enough. She hadn’t been too happy when the lights went out and from the looks of it, he was seriously going to have to kiss some ass to make up for it.

  “Autumn?” he called to the silent house. He walked through the living room and into the kitchen, with Autumn nowhere to be found.

  He grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with orange juice. Tipping it to his lips, he spotted the note she left him hanging on the refrigerator.

  When you decide to wake up you can meet us at the clinic. ~A

  Jackson groaned and grabbed the phone. After punching in Autumn’s cell number, he took another sip of orange juice.

  “Did you finally decide to wake up?” she asked when she answered on the third ring.

  “Hello, darling. It’s so good to hear your voice.”

  “Can it. I tried waking you up three times and you ignored me so we left without you.” He heard the background noise lessen as if she walked away from the crowd.

  “You talked me to death last night. I needed my beauty sleep.” He leaned against the counter and looked out the small window over the sink.

  The day was really crappy. Rain drizzled enough to make it wet outside but not enough to claim it was actually raining. He could imagine what the clinic looked like and dreaded meeting them there.

  “I don’t have time for a comeback. The fire marshal met with us today. He ruled the fire as arson. It seems there was a card found at the sight. Frank’s business card. I didn’t see it, but Jeffery spotted it, and I had to have a big sit-down discussion with the police.” She paused. “Are you going to come down here?”

  “As soon as I get ready. Why? Do you need me?” He stood to his full height and reached in the cabinet for a Pop-Tart.

  “No. I was just wondering if you were avoiding me.”

  Jackson propped the phone between his ear and shoulder to open the package. “I thought you wanted time away from me? That’s what you said last night.”

  “Jackson, please don’t do this. I can’t handle the smart-assed comments right now. I’m running purely on coffee and adrenaline.”

  He rubbed his eyes. “Sorry. That was real shitty of me. I’ll be there in an hour or so.”

  After they hung up, he dropped the two Pop-Tarts in the toaster. Today is going to be so much fun.

  * * * *

  Autumn’s head pounded, feeling on the verge of exploding. The smoke smell sank into her clothing, and the charred building a hazard to everyone and everything around them. She talked with the fire marshal for over an hour about what he thought happened. Then, she went to the police station to report all that had happened with Frank. She thought getting everything off her chest would help, but the police only nagged her about why she hadn’t come in sooner. After spending most of the morning there, she finally wound up back at the clinic where Jeffery and Davis had carried out filing cabinets and Summer and Kristin had sorted out the salvageable records.

  Now, she sat outside in the rain, contemplating the next move to make. The building was obviously not going to be repaired after the last ordeal. So that meant she was out of work. No income meant no food, clothing, or shelter over her head. She calculated her savings and figured she could live possibly two months maximum on that if she needed. She’d be stretching every penny, but she could sacrifice.

  Jackson’s truck pulled in the parking lot, and Autumn straightened from her crouched position. She watched as he parked and got out. His pull-over windbreaker protected him from the rain, and Autumn couldn’t help noticing the stubble covering his face made him dangerously sexy. She hated the fact that even when she wanted to be mad at him, she couldn’t. She simply couldn’t when she looked at him and he knew it. He took advantage of it.

  “Why are you sitting out here by yourself?” He tucked the keys in his pocket.

  She held up the phone. “Phone call. The police are bringing in Frank for questioning.”

  Jackson sat beside her on the wooden bench outside the door. “You look like you’ve lost your best friend.”

  “I’m contemplating my life. It’s not exactly a party right now.” She flipped her phone open and flipped it closed. “I have no job, no income. I have no place to open a clinic, no money to do so. Hardly anything is salvageable in there from the fire and water damage. I just . . .” She blew out a breath and continued to play with her phone. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

  Jackson turned toward her, propping his arm on the back of the bench. “I hear McDonald’s is hiring.”

  She glared at him tears welling in her eyes. “Thanks, Jackson.”

  Jackson rolled his eyes. “Autumn, you know any one of your family members would help you out. Hell, your dad would buy a state of the art clinic for you if you asked. You know I’d help you, too. I probably don’t have enough for a clinic, but I have money. The only thing I ever spend my paychecks on is upkeep on my great aunt’s house. Why worry about the small stuff? Let’s get Gallagher and make him pay for his dirty deeds, and then we’ll talk about the rest.”

  She wiped her eyes and glanced away. “Everything is so cut-and-dry with you, isn’t it? Black and white with no gray in the middle.”

  He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. “No. It used to be but it isn’t anymore. I don’t think you want pity, Autumn. You’re a strong woman and you’re very capable of standing on your own two feet. But when I try to be nice to you, you bitch at me and when I’m smart with you, you cry. So I’m caught up in the middle, trying to figur
e out what I’m supposed to do and what’s the right thing to say to you.”

  Autumn pulled away from him. “I’m tired of talking. I need to get away from here.”

  She stood and the world spun. She reached out for Jackson just as warm liquid ran down her leg. He questioned her, but his voice sounded so far away. Autumn closed her eyes and gave into the darkness.

  * * * *

  Jackson paced the hospital floors until the doctor came out for an update. Autumn came in with uterine bleeding and after an examination, the doctors diagnosed her as having a miscarriage. He sank into one of the nearby chairs with Kristin at his side, rubbing his back comfortingly. Davis called the Major and Nick, to let them know what was going on. Both said they’d come home as soon as possible.

  It was around eight that night before Jackson could go in and see her. They wanted to keep her overnight for observation, a precautionary measure her doctor explained. He promised that if all went well throughout the night, she’d be released in the morning.

  Autumn curled up on her side in the bed watching a comedy on the television. She didn’t see him enter the room. He walked to the bed. “How are you feeling?”

  She shifted slightly, though she still didn’t look at him. “I’m cramping. The doctors said it’d last a while longer so I have to just tough it out.”

  He pulled a chair to the bedside giving Autumn the space he assumed she needed. “Davis called your father and Nick. They said they’d be here as soon as they could.”

  “I don’t need them here.” Autumn shifted again and sucked in a breath. Jackson watched her hand go to her stomach, her eyes closing as tears slid down her cheeks.

  He pulled his windbreaker off, each of her sobs killing him slowly as she lay there in pain. He climbed in bed beside her, careful not to hurt her. She buried her face in the pillow as her body shuddered, the sound of her cries muffled. Jackson rubbed his hand the length of her arm. He waited for her to calm down, literally stopping in exhaustion. Eyes closed, she laid her head on the pillow she hugged.