by Dana Mason
She looked up at him and tears dropped from her eyes, pure defeat outlined on her face. “Is this my fault?”
“What? No…” He slid down next to her on the bed. “Why would you ask that?”
“I complained about him waking me up. I complained about his crying, what kind of mother does that?”
“A human mother, Ali. You were tired. Being a single mother is exhausting…sweetheart, you’re not being punished for complaining. This was totally out of your control.”
“I would give anything to hear him cry right now. Anything to have him wake me up in the middle of the night.”
“I know…me too.”
She crawled into bed and pulled the blankets up to her chin before curling into his arms.
“Try to sleep.” He planted a gentle kiss on her forehead. “You’ll feel better if you get some rest.”
He held her against him until she relaxed, glad he had her all to himself again.
Chapter Fifteen
Micah’s cries echoed through the house, but Ali couldn’t find him. She searched every room, looked under furniture, checked every closet, and called his name over and over to sooth his terrified crying. “Micah, it’s okay, I’m coming. Mommy’s here, sweetpea.” His cries got louder as she searched, which made her more panicked. “Micah?” She went from room to room, opening one door after another. “Micah?” Every time his name left her mouth, panic rose higher, confirming her worst fear—as if saying the name was a sub-conscious reminder. “Micah!” she finally screamed.
“Ali, Ali.” A warm hand rested on her cheek when she jerked awake.
She brushed at the hand and tried to get up. “I need to check on Micah.”
“Micah isn’t here, sweetheart.” He said it so sweetly and quietly Ali couldn’t help but compare the sound of his voice with the sound of a tune from an old music box. She stared at him and her heart fluttered for a split second.
“Are you awake?” he whispered.
Ali blinked at him and tried to focus her thoughts. “Where is my baby?”
“Go back to sleep, sweet. They’ll come get us when they have news.” He rested his fingers on her cheekbone. “You only slept for two hours.”
“I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Do what, sweetheart?”
“Be the mother of a lost boy,” she whispered. “I’m too weak…” She fought to keep control, but now that she had said it out loud, she knew it was true.
“Don’t underestimate yourself. You’ll survive this, and Micah will be home…have a little faith.”
“Faith!” The word came out broken on a sob. “Have faith in a world—in a God that would do this?” She cleared her throat and tried to stop crying. “If something happens to him…”
Johnny wrapped his arms around her. “Have faith in yourself and in our ability to get through this. I’ll be here for you, I promise, and if it comes down to it, I’ll be strong enough for both of us.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t be together. Maybe this is a sign.”
Johnny’s arms stiffened around her. “Don’t make deals with the devil, Ali. You’ll lose every time.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Don’t think you can trade me in for Micah. It doesn’t work like that. You can have both and so can I.”
“I feel guilty for being with you when Micah is in danger—like the universe is telling me I don’t deserve this.” She tried to gesture with her hands, but he held her too close.
“I’ve been waiting my whole life to feel like this with someone. I won’t let you take it away.” He leaned back, his gaze focusing on her. Even in the dark she could see the circles under his eyes and the confusion in his expression. “I thought you weren’t looking for an escape from us.”
“I don’t understand why this is happening. Why? Why my son?”
“Sweetheart, you can ask a hundred times and never get an answer. Fact is if I can’t blame myself then you can’t either. Self-blame won’t bring him home, isn’t that what you said to me?”
Ali nodded, more tears dropped from her lids. He brushed the tears off her face and turned her, spooning her with his hips.
The warmth of his body helped calm her nerves. When he started to hum a lullaby, she closed her eyes and went back to sleep.
Jamie came into view as they descended the stairs. He was staring into the dining room. It was full of people and his wide, eight year-old eyes reflected the simultaneous awe and fear. When he heard their footsteps, he ran for Ali, almost knocking her sideways.
Ali picked him up and held him for a long time as tears streamed silently down her face. She carried him into the living room and sat down on the couch with him on her lap. Johnny followed, grabbing a handful of tissues out of the box on the coffee table and handing them to her before she let go of Jamie.
When Jamie pulled back, he had tears in his eyes too. Watching them forced a lump to rise in Johnny’s throat. Ali wiped her face then smiled at Jamie. “Hi, baby.”
Jamie’s chest was heaving from his sobs and he couldn’t talk. Ali wiped his face, and tried to sooth him. When Johnny didn’t think he could watch any longer and keep his composure, he stood up and slowly left the room. He walked into the dining room, and looked around at the agents.
“Anyone smoke?” He asked.
Simms handed him a cigarette and a lighter.
He nodded thanks and slipped out the back door. When he turned out onto the patio, he found Mark and Sarah looking back at him.
“Oh—sorry. I’ll give y’all some privacy.”
“Johnny,” Sarah said before he could leave. “Wait, I want to talk to you.”
“I’ll meet you inside,” Mark said to Sarah before retreating into the house. Johnny lit the cigarette and started pacing the patio not sure he was ready to talk to Sarah, the rawness of his conversation with Ali still grated on him and he knew Sarah would find a way to make him talk. She had that way about her. You could never just avoid a question or change the subject without her pushing for what she wanted.
“I brought you some clothes.”
Johnny cleared his throat. “Thanks.”
“Are you okay?”
He nodded then turned to pace in the other direction.
“You’re a bad liar,” she said.
He looked over his shoulder and gave her a crooked smile.
“How are you feeling? Mark said you were pretty banged up by that car.”
He swiveled on his bare heel and faced her. “I’m fine. Just some scrapes is all.”
“Talk to me. I know this isn’t easy for you.”
“What can I say? Micah is gone because I couldn’t stop them.”
“That’s not the way I hear it.” She sighed and shook her head, her eyes darting to the ground. “What is it with you men always blaming yourselves when people get hurt?” Her voice shook a little.
He examined her more closely. “Are you okay?”
“No, I’m a wreck…and a coward.” She wiped her face and tried to smile.
Johnny approached her. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m out here hiding from Ali. I don’t know what to say to her.”
Johnny tossed his cigarette aside and hugged her, unable to ignore the tears dropping from her eyes.
“I don’t know what to say to her either,” Johnny whispered. “She’s a mess and I keep trying to comfort her but now she…” He stopped at the wavering weakness in his voice. “She is trying to say this happened because of her… because of us.”
“That’s absurd,” Sarah said. “Almost as absurd as you blaming yourself, right?”
He withdrew from the hug and looked down at her protruding stomach. “How’s the belly?”
She
rested her hand on her baby bump. “Fine.”
Johnny went back to pacing, wishing he still had the cigarette.
“I didn’t know you smoked,” Sarah said.
“I don’t. Quit a couple of years ago, but sometimes I just need a smoke.”
When the patio door slid open, Johnny turned to see Mark stepping outside.
“Sorry, Mark. I’m sure you want to spend some time with your wife—didn’t mean to monopolize.”
“No biggie, I can wait my turn,” Mark said as Johnny started toward the door.
“Hey, Johnny Rhay, I left your clothes in a duffle bag at the bottom of the stairs.”
He nodded then slipped into the house.
Johnny grabbed the duffle and hobbled upstairs to change his clothes. When he got up there, he heard talking coming from one of the bedrooms. He peeked in and found Ali sitting on Jamie’s bed while Jamie sat on the floor playing and rattling on about the Grand Canyon. Ali wore the most defeated gaze, but whenever Jamie looked up at her, the expression changed to pure interest. Johnny had to wonder how much of what Jamie said actually got through to her.
Ali watched through the bedroom window as Sarah drove away with Jamie in the backseat. Both her sons were being cared for by other women…at least she hoped Micah was being cared for. She felt like a failure…as a mother, as a woman. She couldn’t protect her son when he most needed protection. Her stomach flipped at the thought of Micah being hurt. What kind of person would hurt such a sweet boy?
Everyone loved Micah. She couldn’t go anywhere without receiving compliments and people mooning over him. The doctor’s office, grocery store, even when she stopped for the Chinese food to take to Johnny’s… “Chinese food.”
“You want Chinese Food?” Johnny asked stepping into the room as Ali turned.
“Holy hell, Johnny.” She held her hand out to him. “The Chinese Food—I need to see the surveillance video again.”
“Do you remember something?”
“I think so.” She rushed passed him, her heart in her throat. That woman—was it the same person? All that long, dark, curly hair—damn it, why hadn’t she made the connection earlier. She ran into the dining room and stopped suddenly as everyone stared at her with confused expressions. She stuck her palm to her forehead, trying to control the headrush she had from the jolt of adrenaline.
“Mark, I need to watch the surveillance video again. Can you queue it up for me.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, but”—she waved her hand around frantically—“I think I’ve seen that women before.”
Every chair in the dining room scooted across the hardwood floor and within seconds, five men were staring down at her. “Mrs. Hayes, are you sure?”
“No! I’m not sure. I need to watch the video.”
Mark rushed back to the table and sat in front of his laptop, punching keys, his brow furrowed. “It’s here, Ali.” He stood and waved a hand to his chair.
She walked over, followed by her entourage and sat, staring at the laptop until Mark stabbed a button and the footage started. She and Johnny walking to the car, Johnny quickly pushing Micah’s stroller and her out of the way at the same time, and in different directions. It all happened so fast…then the woman’s face. It was a flash, but that’s not what got Ali’s attention. It was the over abundance of dark curly hair that stood out.
“Mark, can you zoom in on her face?”
“Yeah, let me…” He turned the laptop toward him and punched a few keys, his eyes narrowing then widening. “How’s that?” He turned the laptop back around, and Ali’s pulse accelerated to a manic pace.
“Oh my God.” She rubbed at her chest, her breath coming in spurts. “Oh God, Brian. I have seen her before.”
“Where? What’s her name? Tell me everything you know about her,” Brian said.
Ali looked up from the laptop into five sets of eyes, all staring at her. “I don’t know her…but we chatted in the Chinese restaurant when I went to pick up lunch. She glanced at Johnny. “The day I came to your house. She complimented Micah, smiled and cooed at him.” Her voice wavered. “I didn’t…people are always smiling at him, telling me how cute he is, I didn’t know…”
“Ali, it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known,” Johnny said resting his hands on her shoulders. “They’re going to need details.”
“You said lunch, what time exactly? Do you remember? They might have their own surveillance camera. Maybe we can get a better shot of her,” Agent Peters asked.
“It was last Wednesday.” She bolted out of her chair. “The receipt might still be in my purse.”
“Your purse is in the bedroom. I’ll get it.” Johnny raced from the room and was back within a minute, breathing heavily. He handed Ali the purse and she reached into her wallet, flipping through several crumpled receipts.
“Here!” She pulled it out and straightened it. “The Dynasty.”
Agent Peter’s took the receipt and jotted down the details. “Let’s get over there.”
“We should take Mark, he’s the surveillance expert,” Brian said.
Mark smiled and said, “The Dynasty is in the Eastside Plaza, we contract with them. I’ve got cameras in the parking lot. Even if the restaurant doesn’t get a shot, I bet I’ve already got one.”
“Ali, do you know if she bought food while she was there?” Agent Peters asked.
“Yeah…well, she came in after me and ordered while I was waiting for our food. Even asked me about the menu and what was good. I didn’t wait around to see if she paid, I left before she did.”
“If she paid by credit card…” Johnny said.
“Let’s hope she did,” Brian said, smiling wide. “Let’s go.”
Ali took a steadying deep breath and dropped back down into a chair, glancing up at Johnny. Before she could say a word, the dining room door swung open and her mother walked into the room. Ali stood, surprised to see how incredibly tired she looked. Her mother walked over and wrapped her arms around Ali’s waist, squeezing tight and taking a shuddering breath. “He’s got to be okay, Ali.”
Ali nodded, unable to respond through her tears. After a moment, Ali pulled back to looked at her mother’s face. It was tear streaked and puffy. Dark rings circled her eyes and worry lines creased her forehead. Ali brushed the hair off her face and said, “I know. I can’t imagine anyone hurting him either.”
“Are you okay? I woke up this morning to your face on the front page of my newspaper. When I turned the news on, they were showing your statement.”
Ali rolled her eyes. “Are they calling that blubbering mess a statement?” She fought back a chuckle then her smile faded. “I was a mess, but I’m okay, Mom.”
“I needed to see with my own eyes.” She glanced down at her feet and took a deep breath, then looked back at Ali. “I saw the surveillance video…I saw what he did.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m sorry, Ali. I’m so glad he was with you. Anything could’ve happened.”
Ali fought her own tears and pushed for a steady voice. “Mother, I am okay. I promise. Johnny is taking good care of me…he really is a great guy, you know.”
She brushed the tears from her face, nodding at the same time. “I think I owe him an apology.”
Ali scanned the room to see Johnny had left. “Maybe give him a day or two. He’s having a little trouble with Micah’s disappearance too…and he’s not too comfortable with the role of hero.”
“Okay…do you need me here? I’ll stay…”
“No, I’m fine. I have Johnny and Mark…Brian too.” Ali tilted her head and said, “Thank you for asking Brian to be the family spokesperson. I know that must have been hard for you.”
Susan pursed her lips and bobbed her head before she said, “Mr. and Mrs. Ham
mel suggested it. And…it’s about time I gave the boy a chance to make up for what he did to your sister.” She smiled and Ali felt a surge of pride for her mother.
“Mom, you’re getting soft in your old age.”
“I know…but that’s a good thing, right?”
Ali nodded and hugged her again. “It is a good thing. I’m hoping Melissa, Brian and Julie can finally come together and get over everything that happened in the past.”
Susan’s eyes grew wide. “Oh, yes, Julie and Melissa were talking a mile a minute last night at the Volunteer Center. They looked like they were getting along great.”
“Good. I’m so glad. Maybe something good can come from this.” Her smile dropped down into a frown and she fought to take a breath. When her mother’s eyes narrowed she whispered, “I really am fine. I just miss him so much.”
“Me too…”
Chapter Sixteen
When her mother was gone, Ali walked into the living room to find Johnny sitting in the quiet room, alone. She stepped up behind him and laid her hands on his shoulders. He leaned his head back to see her, “How you holding up, sweetheart?”
“I’m still breathing,” she said.
He stood and walked around the couch and took her hand. “Come on, you need to eat something.”
Ali followed him into the dining room, which was empty, save agent Newman, manning the phones. She stared at the equipment, uneasiness settling in. What if they’d tried to take Micah when she was alone? How desperate was this woman? Was this really a black market situation or was she looking for a child to have as her own? The thought of that scared Ali more than the idea of him being illegally adopted. What if they left the state—or the country?
Even so, if he was stolen for black market adoption, they had likely taken him out of state already. Oh God. She plopped down in a chair and rested her head in her hands.
