by Dana Mason
She didn’t know how long she sat like that, but she nearly jumped out of her skin when Johnny placed his hand under her elbow, encouraging her to rise from the chair. “Sweet, you promised me you would eat something. Let’s go sit down and see what’s happening on the news while we eat this spaghetti.”
She lifted her head, nodding and slowly stood, her body heavy.
When she took a seat on the sofa, Johnny handed her a plate of spaghetti. The scent drifted to Ali’s nose and it made her a little light headed. She swallowed back sick and took the fork Johnny offered.
“Eat,” he said, glaring at her as he sat down, flipping the TV on with the remote. “Brian said it was Channel Two News, right?”
“Yes,” she said, taking a small bite of food when he looked over at her. She methodically chewed and swallowed.
When the booming voice of the newscaster bellowed from the TV, she glanced up in time to get a look at herself, red faced and crying. It looked worse than she’d thought. She was a mess, a complete wreck. She shook her head and said, “What the hell was I thinking when I went out there?”
“I think that’s the issue, you weren’t thinking.”
The Ali on TV looked sick, and withdrawn. Probably not the angle Brian and the FBI were going for.
Johnny leaned in and put his plate down to focus harder on the TV. Ali took that as a sign that she could stop eating too. She quietly laid her fork on her plate but left it in her lap.
The ticker on the bottom of the screen scrolled the phone number for people to call in with tips on Micah’s disappearance, also a brief description of him and what he was wearing. Every so often Micah’s picture would flash up, and replace the picture of her in tears.
Ali remembered the bright lights and not being able to see faces through all the flashes. She spoke directly into the camera, hoping some humanity lay beyond the lights. Did it? Was the dark haired woman watching this, and regretting what she’d done? Ali stared intently as her eyes moved from her own face to Johnny’s face, wondering what other people saw when they watched this.
What would the public think about her, about Carl, about them not standing out there together? She felt more insecure about herself than she ever had. Never did she think someone would question her devotion to her children, but now…would people question her involvement? Question her ability to protect and care for her kids? What would she think if she were a neutral party, watching this as a bystander…with her boys safely tucked into their beds? She made herself nauseous at the thought and she had to put her plate down to place a hand over her stomach.
She looked over at Johnny and he looked just as sick as she felt. He watched with intent eyes as the Ali on TV pleaded with anyone listening to bring her baby home.
“I want my baby back. I don’t care what the reason was; I don’t care who you are or how much it will cost me. I just want my son home safely.” She looked directly into the camera. “My family…and my life are incomplete without Micah. He belongs here with us.”
Once she’d got the words out, she couldn’t hold herself together any longer. Her face broke and flashes erupted around her and Johnny. For a split second, Johnny’s face flashed into the most painful expression she’d ever seen. Then he tucked her into his chest, holding her close. He held love in his eyes. Did the public see that? Did she want them too?
She should’ve shouted her feelings for him from the rooftop, be proud to have such a person in her life and such a wonderful person that cares for her children. She felt Johnny squeeze her hand so she looked up.
“You’re very strong, you know.” He gave her a slight smile.
Ali didn’t realize she’d fallen asleep until she heard the crying. She gasped and jerked up, almost falling off Johnny’s lap.
“Ali, it’s okay,” he stroked her face and tried to relax her, but she heard the crying. Her body trembled as her eyes darted around the room. She stood and took a few steps. It was plain as day, Micah was upset and she could hear him, but where was he?
Johnny took her arm, but she pulled away. “Micah is crying. I can hear”— she shook her head—“he’s upset,” she said looking at Johnny and clutching at the tightening in her chest.
“You were having a dream, sweetheart.”
“He’s crying for me.” Her voice broke this time, bringing Johnny closer. “No”—she held her hand out to him—“I can feel him.” Her voice caught in her throat and she tried to take a deep breath. “I need some air.”
She rushed through the living room then the dining room and kitchen and out to the backyard. It was a clear night with no clouds, and a warm breeze.
Micah was out there. She could feel him. She closed her eyes and let the warm breeze brush her face. The tension in her chest slowly loosened as she inhaled the night air, concentrating on her son. She knew he’d calmed, she knew it in her soul. That’s right, baby, everything will be okay.
When Johnny came up behind her, Ali turned into him. “I think he’s okay.” She took a shuddering breath and said, “I feel like he’s upset, but safe.”
Johnny squeezed gently and kissed her forehead. “I know, sweetheart.” He placed a finger under her chin and said, “Let’s go inside and go to bed. You need some rest in-case he comes home tomorrow.”
“No, I want to wait for Agent Peters and Brian. I want to know what they found out today.”
“I’m sure they’re not coming back here until they’re completely finished investigating the restaurant.”
“Oh…yeah, I guess that makes sense. Do you think they’ll wake us if they find anything?”
“I’m sure if it’s important, they’ll let us know.”
Johnny woke wrapped around Ali’s naked body, in the same position he went to sleep in. It took every ounce of strength he had not to caress her awake and make love to her.
God he wanted her all the time.
He had never been so enchanted by another person in his life and that scared the shit out of him, but at the same time, it forced a smile on his face. Ali was everything he needed and everything he wanted, and Johnny wanted to be her everything as well. This, he realized had been the problem. She didn’t seem to need him, even though she insisted—everyone insisted she did.
Johnny’s body reacted to the feel of her, but he forced himself to focus on self-control. He could wait to have her again, wait for Micah to be home safe and wait for life to return to normal. He silently prayed that would come today.
His worry for Micah had morphed into a sickening all-consuming grip on his soul, and until that baby was home, things would never be right for him or Ali. His worry for Ali had been just as consuming. He feared she would reach her breaking point. Ali was strong but she could only take so much.
As he lay there, he felt one with her, as if their souls were as intertwined as their bodies and their hearts were beating in synchronization. What a fool Carl had been for letting her slip away.
Regardless, Ali was his now, he nuzzled closer. Too fucking late, fool, should’ve treated her right.
She started to stir, making Johnny curse under his breath, he’d hoped she would sleep for at least another hour.
“What?” She moaned.
“Nothing, sweet, go back to sleep…do you want me to hum you a lullaby?”
“You’re sweet,” she whispered with a smile. “I have to go check on Micah.”
“They’ll get us if they have any news,” he said ignoring her protest.
“I should be doing more.”
“Your job is to stay healthy and take care of yourself until he comes home.”
“I want to know what happened after they went to The Dynasty yesterday. And you need to make a doctor’s appointment to get your injuries checked out.”
“I’m not leaving your side.” He insisted. “Don’t even thi
nk about sending me away. I won’t go.”
Ali tried to push away to get up, but he held her in place. “Don’t—stay in bed with me. You need a few more hours of sleep.”
“Nope, I need to go check on the status.” She pecked him on the cheek, “Come shower with me, then we can go down together.”
Chapter Seventeen
Ali headed downstairs, more awake than she had been since Micah was taken. And now, with a clearer head, her lack of action embarrassed her. Her child was missing, how could she sit around and feel sorry for herself? She should be out knocking on doors, asking for help
She swung open the door to the dining room and met Agent Peters’ eyes. “I want to make another statement to the press—plea to the kidnappers for his return and offer a reward.”
“Ah…” Agent Peters glanced down at the paper in his hand then back up at her. “There’s already a reward being offered.”
Chairs scooting against the wood floor rang out in the room and Ali looked around at the confused faces of Brian and Mark. Papers shuffled about the room faster than Ali could blink. Agent Peters’ face dropped as he motioned to a chair. “Mrs. Hayes, please sit down, I have something I need to share with you.”
“Um…bad idea. That’s a bad idea, Bill,” Mark said shaking his head. “It won’t help the situation.”
“Tell me what.” She glared at Mark then met Brian’s eyes. “Has something happened? Do you have more information about Micah?”
“No, Ali,” Brian said. “I’m sorry. We don’t have anything helpful about Micah. Most of the tips we’ve received have been pranks.”
“Did you find something out at the restaurant yesterday?” she asked.
“We’re still working on that too…Mrs. Hayes, I have something to show you concerning your husband,” Agent Peters said.
“Ex,” she corrected. “Carl is my ex-husband.”
“Have a seat,” he said, motioning to a chair again.
Ali sat, with Johnny next to her. Butterflies attacked her stomach in record numbers and a sense of dread overcame her. What didn’t Mark want her to know?
Agent Peters handed her a newspaper. The front page cover bared a picture of Carl with the headline “DISTRAUGHT FATHER INSISTS NEW BOYFRIEND TO BLAME FOR BABY MICAH’S DISAPPEARANCE”.
“What the fuck?” Johnny said through gritted teeth.
Ali’s hands started shaking. She fought to hold the paper steady so she could read on.
Mr. Carl Hayes, Alison Hayes’ estranged husband believes the man who appeared with Alison Hayes during her tearful plea is responsible for the kidnapping of Micah Hayes. “He’s a single young guy, of course he wants to get rid of the baby. Wants my wife without the baggage”.
Carl using the word baggage made her sick. He was obviously projecting his own feelings onto Johnny and the press had bought it.
Hayes was also quoted as saying he wasn’t even given a courtesy call when his child went missing, and it wasn’t until this morning that he was informed.
Ali couldn’t read another word. She dropped the paper on the table, completely speechless. How could Carl even open his mouth to criticize Johnny when he didn’t want anything to do with Micah?
“Ali…” Mark said, placing a hand on her shoulder.
Johnny snatched the paper up and held it, reading again the words that were so unfair and so incredibly hurtful to the recovery of her son. If people thought this was a domestic dispute, they wouldn’t take the search seriously. They’d consider Micah a baby born of poor circumstance…shake their heads and turn away from what was clearly a problem at home and not the completely random violent crime it had been.
“Ali…” Mark said again. “You okay?”
“What can I say?” She closed her eyes, wishing she hadn’t gotten up and come downstairs at all. How could Carl do this to her after everything he’d already put her through? Did he hate her? What had she done to deserve this from him? She’d gotten pregnant—by accident—and refused to have an abortion. Having a child didn’t make her a bad wife, much less a bad person.
“Mrs. Hayes, we have cleared Detective Bennett and we’ve informed the press.”
“But the damage is done!” she spat, slapping at the offending newspaper. “How will they ever take this seriously now?”
“I’m sorry,” Johnny said. “Maybe I shouldn’t be here. I don’t want to distract from Micah.”
“No!” Ali cried, no longer able to fight her tears. “This isn’t your fault, it’s Carl’s. How could he play the distraught father when he hasn’t even called to check on his son in four months?”
“That’s not the point. If they focus on me and you, they’re not focusing on Micah.”
“Stop it,” Brian said. “Stop with the pity party. Of all the things we need to be concerned about, it’s not the public’s opinion of your relationship. At this point, as long as they’re talking about the two of you, they’re also talking about Micah.”
“Still, we shouldn’t exploit it,” Mark said. “And we need to shut him up before he does more damage.”
“True,” Brian agreed. “But what’s done is done. We’ll try to keep the two of you out of sight until we can’t avoid it.”
“Mrs. Hayes, I assure you, they are taking this seriously.” Agent Peters said. “I’ve never received a response like this before and I’m sure it has to do with the randomness of the crime.”
“Yeah,” Brian said. “Just peek at the news breaks. They give updates every half hour. People are scared shitless their kid’s going to be next.”
Ali rubbed at the pain in her chest. “It’s awful. It’s a sickening fear that’s…”
Johnny reached for her hand and she looked up for the first time to see the intense sense of grief in his eyes. She shook her head and repeated, “This isn’t your fault.”
“Listen, guys, let’s focus on the positive.” Brian waved a hand at her. “Ali, you said you wanted to make a statement.”
She nodded. “I feel like we should be doing more. Shouldn’t we make fliers—show his picture.”
“That’s all being done at the Volunteer Center, and his picture is going up with every newsbreak,” Brian said. “And a reward is already being offered.”
“Who offered the reward?”
“Your mother. She put up a hundred grand.” Brian flipped through the papers in front of him and pulled out the flier. The volunteer center is working with the Klaas Foundation and the Center for Missing and Exploited Children.”
Ali dropped her hands to the table, staring at the flier with Micah’s picture, feeling like the air had been knocked from her lungs. Where had she been while all of this was happening? “Why is time moving in slow motion?” She put a hand over her mouth and shook her head. “Nevermind.” It didn’t matter. What mattered was that it’d been days and her son wasn’t home yet. “We’ve got nothing”—she took a deep breath—“even with such a high reward.”
“We have some things, they just haven’t led to Micah yet,” Brian said.
Ali nodded, not sure what else to say.
“There are at least a hundred people volunteering every day, strategizing…all looking for Micah,” Mark said.
Her eyes dropped to her lap. “I’m sorry for not helping.”
“Don’t start beating yourself up again,” Johnny said, squeezing her hand.
He was right, she needed to stop dwelling and start doing. She looked back up at Agent Peters. “I’ll add another fifty grand to the reward. If they won’t bring him back, I’ll buy him back. I’ll appeal to their business side since they’re selling babies.”
Mark laughed. “What an awesome idea.” But his smile faded and he said, “Can you do that, Ali? It’s a lot of money.”
“I’ll take out what little equity I have
in this house.”
“Mrs. Hayes.” Peters placed a legal pad in front of Ali. “Let’s get started on your statement. It’s the most important thing we can do at this point.”
“Please call me Ali, after everything you’ve done for me, I can at least let you use my first name.”
He smiled and nodded. “And you may call me Bill.”
Ali picked up a pen and focused on the one thing she had some control over, trying not to think about how she’d get that kind of money. She could scrape it up, but she’d have nothing left to live on. What was there to consider? She’d do anything to bring her baby home, even if it meant living with her mother.
Ten minutes later, Mark slid a plate of lasagna and garlic bread in front of her then leaned in to whisper in her ear. “We’ll put up the money. Don’t take out your equity.”
“No.” She shook her head violently. “Forget it. I can’t let you do that.”
“Well…tell Sarah, she’s already calling her accountant.”
“I won’t accept it.”
“You can’t refuse.” He lifted his eyebrows. “This is for Micah.”
“Mark.” Ali dropped her head onto her hand, hiding her face.
“Just let Sarah do this, it won’t hurt anyone or anything and it’ll make her feel useful.”
The sincerity in his voice was hard to deny. “…I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything. Eat and work on your statement.”
She nodded her head with a teary smile. “Thank you.”
Peters took over the task of writing as she ate. It was easier to think while dictating her statement than trying to write it herself. Bill and Brian helped her with some of the wording and made sure she didn’t say too much. She had to find a way to win people over after the ridiculous statements Carl had made. They also wouldn’t let her mention Johnny at all, insisting we shouldn’t feed into the hype and focus solely on Micah.
