From Lukov with Love

by Mariana Zapata

  I choked.

  A unified front? Knowing each other for so long? There was a video of us from a couple of years ago that was supposed to have been a recording of another skater’s practice, but it had caught me telling Ivan to suck my dick after he told me the only way I was going to get better at a spin I’d been working on was to be reincarnated. But the mic hadn’t picked up that part. Just what I’d said, because that was my luck.

  I wasn’t exactly the most book-smart person in the world, but I wasn’t dumb. So I knew there was something about the tone of her voice and the way she was speaking that I didn’t like. And I wasn’t wrong.

  I blinked at her. “Are you trying to make it seem like we’re dating?”

  She pursed her lips together for a moment. “No. Not dating—”

  Uh….

  “More like… you’re very friendly with each other. As in you respect and like each other—”

  Oh God.

  “The more unified the better—”

  What?

  “People would eat it up,” she finished off, her face calm and even.

  The blank stare I was aiming her way must have said exactly what I thought because she raised her eyebrows in a way that I didn’t appreciate.

  “We just don’t need it to look like you can barely stand each other. Do you understand me?”

  I didn’t move from my spot as I said carefully, “You want me to act like we’re all giggly and cuddly and friendly.”

  She sighed the same way Galina used to, but I didn’t focus on that at all. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. Respect and admiration—”

  “I don’t admire him.”

  She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment, and I’d bet my life she was praying for patience. “You can act like it.”

  “He doesn’t admire me either.”

  “He can act like it too. But it’s important, and he knows that. You can’t glare at each other. You act when you’re on the ice, and I’m sure those emotions will translate well in the choreography that’s put together in a couple of months. I’m not worried about that. We’ll find the right musical compositions to flatter your chemistry. You’ve also both been doing great during practice, and I’m very proud of you—”

  For not killing each other? Good God. That’s what my life had come to? People being proud of me for keeping my mouth shut?

  “But you both need to keep it going even outside of the rink, at least where other people can see… and read your lips.” She slid me a look.

  All I could do was sit there and blink. Realistically, I knew she wasn’t asking for something outrageous or even unheard of. She didn’t want us at each other’s throats was what she was trying to say.

  But what it felt like was something completely different.

  It felt like she was asking me to pretend to love him or something. And I felt a whole lot of things for Ivan Lukov, but love was nowhere in the top one thousand words I would have used. Nope.

  In the way she had been showing me lately of being able to read my body language and face, Coach Lee sighed and gave me another tiny smile that had exasperation around the edges. “Jasmine, I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in miracles. I’m not asking you for anything I don’t think you’re both capable of.”

  I didn’t say a word. I was an idiot for not seeing this coming. I really was. I could admit it. Why the hell I hadn’t thought that we’d have to put our best behavior pants on in front of public eyes was beyond me.

  I was a really shitty actress. And I hated lies.

  And I hated even more that we were having to have this conversation to begin with.

  Pushing down hard on my temple with my index and middle finger, I let out a slow breath that wasn’t at all like me. The question hovered on my lips and in my heart, and I didn’t want an answer, but I needed it. “Is my reputation that bad that we have to do this?”

  “No one denies that you’re a world-class figure skater, Jasmine—”

  Here we go.

  “—but there are these small worries about things in the past that we want to improve as much as possible to help us all out. You understand.”

  That was the fucked-up part. I did understand. I understood completely.

  My reputation was that bad that people thought the only way to salvage it was to have the little doll of the figure skating world be my friend. That if he could like me, everyone else could too. Because if he didn’t, then there was something wrong with me.

  There wasn’t anything wrong with me. I stood up for myself. I stood up for other people. I didn’t take shit from others. Was that so wrong? Even Jonathan, my brother, had told me once years ago that if I were a man, no one would think twice about it. People would think I was some kind of asshole hero with a heart of gold.

  “You don’t have to act it up over the top.“ She made a face that said that if I did, no one would complain. I got it. “But be friendly with each other. Be a team. Keep the comments between the two of you and out of the spotlight.”

  The door creaking open kept me from saying anything else. Then the pure black head of hair peeked out around the slot in the doorway and a face I was growing more and more familiar with by the second appeared. “I had to sign a few autographs,” he apologized before coming inside and closing the door behind him, before pausing and glancing between the two of us like he didn’t know what to think.

  Of course he would be signing autographs at the same facility he trained at almost daily. It was only because Coach Lee was right there that I didn’t open my mouth and say something sarcastic about him paying people to ask him for his signature.

  But I managed to push that out of my head and focus on Lee’s words. “Did you know about this?” I asked him, my voice sounding weird and even a little hoarse to my ears.

  Those intense blue eyes went from Coach Lee to me to back to her, and he replied, making a face at me for some reason, “What?”

  “Us acting like we’re dating,” I snapped, shooting a look at Coach Lee, who was making her own face like I was overexaggerating.

  “I didn’t say to act like you’re dating—” she started to explain before Ivan cut her off.

  “We’re supposed to act like we’re dating?” Ivan stood there, his eyes bouncing back and forth between Coach Lee and me so fast I knew there was no way he’d heard about this. His frown helped too.

  “Fine, more like we’re ‘best friends’.” Somewhere in the back of my mind, I realized I was totally blowing this out of proportion and stealing the reins of acting like a drama queen… but not really caring at the same time.

  “No. Not even best friends, I would settle for just friends,” the other woman tried to clarify.

  “That respect and admire each other,” I muttered.

  Ivan said nothing for once in his life.

  “You don’t have to… kiss… or anything like that. Just… be friendly, smile at each other, don’t act like… like… you think the other has cooties,” she offered, as if that was better. I was going to ignore the fact she’d used the word cooties to describe what we thought of each other. I thought he was the devil, or at least an immediate family member to him… or her; I didn’t think Ivan had cooties.

  I was staring at her with my mouth slightly open, and I wasn’t sure if Ivan was or not, but I didn’t care.

  The other woman gave Ivan a look I wasn’t sure what to do with. It was… frustrated? Angry? “You’re both going to act like this is impossible?”

  Ivan blinked.

  Then I blinked too.

  “It’ll be good for both of you, and you know that.”

  That was debatable.

  My mind was racing. Had he acted all buddy-buddy with the rest of his partners before? I couldn’t remember. Paul and I had been a little affectionate with each other, but not anywhere near as much as other pairs partners were. And at least half the time, I didn’t look at him like I wanted to kill him, I thought. But Ivan and the partners before me? I really c
ouldn’t be sure; I didn’t think so, though. Then again, I hadn’t paid that much attention to them because I was always so focused on his annoying ass.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Ivan raise his hand and cup the back of his head with it, but I was too busy taking in the expression Coach Lee was shooting him to really absorb his actions at first.

  Her face was turning pink… and was she giving him big eyes?

  “Ivan,” the woman said, slowly, carefully, another message hiding in his name alone.

  He blinked. Those long, sweeping black eyelashes hung down over his eyes, and I could see the hard breath in and out of his throat and chest.

  Something told me there was something wrong about this. The way they were looking at each other… I couldn’t figure it out but….

  “Sure,” he huffed unexpectedly, shooting me a look I almost missed that seemed like I was putting him out and making him do something he would rather not.

  “Sure?” I croaked.

  He nodded, looking pissed off. “Yeah. Sure. I can do it.”

  “What the fu—” I closed my mouth and pressed my lips together. Think. Think, Jasmine. I had given them my word.

  “It’s not the best idea I’ve ever heard, but we should do it,” Ivan muttered. Then he looked in my direction and his forehead scrunched up. “It’s only a year before I get rid of you.”

  Motherfucker.

  Coach Lee groaned, but I barely heard it over the need for me to call him a little bitch.

  He sighed and tipped his head up toward the ceiling. “I can fake a smile,” he went on as I leaned over in my seat and planted the tip of my elbow onto the armrest. “She don’t have to marry me or have my kid… right, Lee? Or did I miss that?”

  That had me rolling back to sit up straight so I could glare at him. “I wouldn’t have your kid if you paid me a million dollars.”

  Something strange happened to his cheek before his facial features went completely smooth. “I’m not asking you to. It isn’t that big of a deal. I can do it.” Those dark, thick eyebrows of his went up just half an inch, max. “You can’t do something so small?” he asked, and I swore he was purposefully trying to egg me on.

  If that throwdown wasn’t enough to calm me down and get my thoughts in order, I didn’t know what was. Of course there was nothing he could do that I couldn’t do better. Except a quad—a jump with four revolutions—but that was beside the point. I wasn’t about to let evil think they were better than I was. So I kept my voice nice and even as I tried to explain, “I can do it, but I’m just not good at pretending, all right?”

  Neither one of them said a word.

  “I’m not,” I reiterated.

  They were asking me to be affectionate. All right, maybe not affectionate, but… at least not act like I couldn’t stand him. I guess.

  Of course I could do it. I just didn’t know if I wanted to. I’d never been a good actress. I had never seen a point in pretending to feel something that I didn’t, or like someone I couldn’t stand. I had dealt with enough shit like that in my life.

  “You’re not exactly my type, if that helps any,” Ivan threw in, forcing me to turn my head slowly to look at him. “I can look at you like I don’t hate you.”

  I blinked. “Good. You’re not my type either.”

  He blinked.

  I blinked.

  And then Coach Lee let out an uncomfortable noise. “I’m glad neither one of you is each other’s type. So, can we agree that you can be nice to each other in public? I have an interview set up for both of you next week.”

  Ivan shrugged as I stared at him, his own gaze not going anywhere. “I can do it. It’s up to her if she can.”

  Years from then, I’d look back on that moment and see how well they played me. How well Ivan knew me after so long. Because I walked right into that shit. My pride led me there. “Of course I can do it.”

  And with a clap of her hands, it was settled. “Good. Let’s move on to the next thing.”

  “Sports Documented wants to have you in their magazine,” Coach Lee said, her fingernails scratching at her neck in a way that told me she was anxious.

  And she was never anxious.

  I glanced at Ivan to find him in his seat with his arms crossed over his chest, looking totally unfazed… until I saw the way he was shaking his foot.

  “Okay,” I said slowly, still watching Ivan as he sat there, looking almost checked out.

  But I knew his form of evil too well. He wasn’t.

  Coach Lee let this small, awkward smile cover her mouth, putting me on edge. “Both of you.”

  Well, no shit both of us. Why would they only want me when it was Prissy Pants over here that was the most well-known one between us? There was more to this, my gut knew there was.

  She was just taking her time telling me for some reason.

  So I waited. And I didn’t say anything as I stared at her, ready to hear the rest of it.

  When Coach Lee’s eyes flicked in Ivan’s direction, it just confirmed everything. Her voice was higher than usual as she said, “It’s for a special issue—”

  The idiot in the seat coughed.

  “It’s highest-selling issue every year—”

  Oh.

  Oh.

  I knew exactly what she was talking about.

  But I kept my mouth shut and didn’t let her know I knew, because what would the fun in that be when she was nervous and maybe even a little embarrassed to be trying to talk me into something that would require me to get naked? She didn’t know I wasn’t shy, but she should. I’d strip down right then if I had to. I’d been changing in front of other people since I was a kid starting off in competitions.

  “It would be great publicity if you did it—”

  I kept on watching her. Kept the blank look on my face too.

  “It would only take a morning or an afternoon—”

  I nodded that time and did it slowly.

  “Possibly a day at the most, but no longer than that,” she finished up her pitch with a tight smile.

  I blinked at her, looking as innocent as I was capable of. “What’s the issue?” I asked her, keeping my tone light.

  Her face flushed red, and her gaze moved to Ivan quickly.

  “You already know it’s for the Anatomy Issue, Meatball, quit being a pain in the ass, dragging it out.” Ivan snickered, shaking his head.

  There went fucking Meatball again. Focus. Be better.

  I shot him a bland look and shrugged. “Sorry,” I said, only half meaning it.

  Her face immediately went into a frown. “You knew?”

  “I figured when you were trying extra hard to sell me on it.”

  She still didn’t look happy, but she didn’t look mad either, just… surprised. “You’re fine with it?”

  I raised a shoulder. “All they need to do is take pictures of me in my skates, right?”

  Coach Lee blinked. “Yes.”

  “I get to tape my extra private parts, right?”

  She nodded slowly, her face still twisted into an apprehensive expression.

  “And it’s only the staff that are around?”

  She did the same gesture, her expression not going anywhere.

  “It’s fine with me then,” I told her easily. “I know that would be good publicity.” Plus, I had always secretly hoped I’d be invited to do it. It was pretty much an honor in a sport with so many talented people.

  Coach’s eyes narrowed almost suspiciously, and she took her time saying, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m having a hard time accepting that you’re being so understanding with this.”

  “I get naked in front of total strangers in the changing rooms,” I said. “The people taking the pictures and on the staff have seen better bodies and worse bodies than mine. We all have butt cracks and genitals. I don’t see what the big deal is. And it’s not like anyone is going to see my nipples or anything.” Then I blinked. “Neither one of you needs to be there, rig
ht?”

  Ivan coughed again, and Coach Lee’s face turned bright red. Her sputter could probably be heard around the world as she replied, “Jasmine…. the shoot isn’t of you by yourself. They want you and Ivan together.”

  Me and Ivan together.

  Naked.

  “It would be great for the two of you to do it,” Coach Lee added, trying to put some enthusiasm into her tone, like that would convince me. “Just a quick shoot. Knowing both of you, you’d get it done as fast as possible.”

  “I’d have to get naked in front of him?” I hooked my thumb and pointed it toward the idiot that was smirking from his spot on the seat. I didn’t need to glance at him to know he was doing it. I just knew he was.

  She nodded.

  I didn’t even think about it. “No.”

  Ivan’s laugh, this lazy, bright thing that got on my nerves every time I heard it, filled the room. “You said a second ago that you get naked in front of complete strangers.”

  I shot the idiot in a fleece pullover and navy blue sweatpants a look. “Yeah, strangers. Not people I need to see every day.” I scoffed. “Not you.”

  He wrinkled his nose, clearly enjoying the shit out of this. “Yeah, you know me. You know you can trust me—”

  I laughed. “No.”

  “What am I going to do? Take a picture of you and post it on the Internet?” He made a face.

  He had a point, but… “No.”

  “I trust you to not post a picture of me naked,” he offered, like that would help.

  I shot him another look. “Why would I do that? Nobody wants to see that anyway.”

  He rolled his eyes and made an exasperated noise in his throat that I had seen and heard him do at least a handful of times over the years when he didn’t know what to say in return, AKA I’d won. “I don’t get what the big deal is.” He changed the subject. “She was worried you would tell us no, but I thought for sure you’d say yes. It’s the highest-selling issue.”

  Fuck me.

  Ivan tipped his head to the side and gave me that clear, smug face again. “We made a deal.”

  Damn it. “I know we made a deal,” I hissed, suddenly feeling off.

  “We have to do it.”

  I wanted to lift my hands up to cover my eyes, but I didn’t. I wouldn’t. But shit. Shit. I looked up at the ceiling and let out a breath.