Jax: Black Angels MC, #3

by Fisher, A. E.

  I ran my fingers through it again and Max leaned a little into my side, pushing me a step back. “Oof, you fat oaf!” I grumbled, scuffing my hand through Max’s mane and mussing up my own hard work. “You almost pushed me over!”

  In response, Max just leaned into me again, bashing me a little bit harder.

  “Max!” I growled, desperate to push her back, but even as I leaned all my weight against her, nothing happened.

  I stood back with a huff, my hands on my hips as Max did everything she could to look innocent as she chewed on the basket of grass we’d installed on the side of the pasture.

  “Bi—” I began to grumble before Max’s huge huff interrupted me.

  I fixed her with a glare before she moved her backside, and I spotted Jax watching us with an amused smile from his perch on top of the faraway fence. The way his figure cut through the midday sun made his silhouette look like that of a raven spying down on us. Their commonality didn’t end there, however. With the way his eyes had stalked me ever since he turned up an hour earlier than Max’s training and fiddled around in the barn before coming to silently watch me go about my new routine with Max (petting, grooming, feeding) I got the same intelligent chill that ravens also gave me.

  Never can tell what either of them are thinking….

  I had woken up with vigor this morning, ready to clear up that the other day was a mistake, and it wouldn’t happen again, and blah blah blah, but when he’d been so quiet, I found myself at odds on how to approach him.

  Come on, Ronnie Marsh. You’re not coward.

  The old words my dad used to use to get me to do anything I didn’t want to didn’t seem to have the same effect as they once had. Probably because back then I was the type to face my problems head on until I came crashing out the other side, bruises and all.

  Now I ran from my problems. Ran all the way into the arms of someone I shouldn’t.

  “RONNIE!” Jax’s voice boomed across the pasture, startling me seconds before I felt the hard, forceful blow punch into my side, sending me flying to the ground.

  I struggled to catch my breath as I heard the huge rumble of thunder above, and then my heart began to race. My body throbbed and burned all down my left side. I writhed on the floor as I tried to drag myself away, seeing Max thrashing harder into the side of the fence and then bolt past me. “Ronnie!” Jax snapped just as all the light disappeared. Jax’s pale face floated above mine, and I felt the sharp prodding pains down my side.

  “Stop!” I shrieked as Jax pressed down on one side, but, Christ, he might as well have taken a sledgehammer to my ribs.

  “Crap,” Jax hissed. “I think you’ve broken a rib.”

  No shit.

  “Come on, let’s get you—”

  Thunder crashed louder above us, and the sunlight was swallowed by freak clouds, dark with rain. It started as a light pitter, but soon I could feel the hard pellets of water beating down on my skin, drenching me in seconds and irritating the pain rushing down my side.

  Flashes burst after the rolls of thunder as Jax helped me to my feet, and my already racing heartbeat thudded against my chest, sending painful waves down my sides as it beat out its panicked melody on the inside of my ribs. “Shit,” I huffed, struggling to catch my breath between the waves of nearly incapacitating pain.

  “Come on,” Jax urged, lifting my arm and stretching my muscles, causing a disembodied shriek to push through my gritted teeth. “Shit, sorry, Ronnie,” Jax apologized as I felt his body dip and his arm slide underneath my wet thighs.

  “Wait, what about Max?” I yelled through the rush of the rain water.

  I could hear her wailing and through the thick downpour of rain, I could barely keep my eyes open to spot her. Not knowing where she was, but hearing her panic only made my anxiety worsen. I gripped tightly onto Jax’s shoulder, my muscles tensing and causing the pain to rise. The adrenaline coursing through my veins seemed to only be inviting more pain into my consciousness rather than blacking out. As we got further away, it was as if Max’s distress only got louder.

  “Jax!” I cried. “We need to go back for Max!”

  He didn’t listen, his body continuing to jog through the rain.

  “JAX!” I called his name over and over, but with each pound of the ground, my pain only grew worse and time seemed to drag on, never ending before the downpour of rain went from drowning to an echoing crashing.

  I looked up, water pouring from my face, and the tinned roof that stretched high above me let me know exactly where we were

  “The barn?” I grumbled, feeling disorientated and dizzy.

  “It’s closer than the house,” Jax whispered, his face distorted and darkened in the unlit barn.

  For a moment, he leaned forward and I felt gravity pulling me back. The sensation of near falling jolted my body upright and I hissed in pain.

  “Don’t jerk like that,” Jax chastised. “I’m going to lay you down now, okay?”

  I forced myself to relax and couldn’t help the groan as I felt the bed of hay numbly prodding and poking into my sides. Whoever thought hay was a suitable bed was an idiot.

  “…Max?” I heaved in a heavy, gasping breath.

  “I’m going to get her now, stay there.”

  “Trust me,” I huffed, “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Jax shook his head. “Smartass.”

  My head began to loll. I was aware I was dancing on the edge of consciousness, the pain wanting to push me down underneath the surface, but my mind fought to stay awake.

  I can’t fall asleep.

  I need to help Max.

  I need….

  I ne….

  * * *

  “Come on, Max.” I laughed, pressing my heels into her side. Encouragement wasn’t needed, however, as Max took off from her slow canter into her powerful gallop. The evening breeze brushed through my hair, the cool mountains sending a whipping wind across my skin. I clung with my chilled fingers to Max’s warm mane, my hips moving in rhythm with the roll of her body.

  The reins that jingled by Max’s side, and the stirrups that held my feet at her waist and the casual saddle were all we had between us, and it felt as thin as tissue paper in moments like this.

  The sense of freedom that surged through me had my heartbeat racing but not in fear or anxiety.

  I leaned forward, feeling the soft whip of her mane against my skin and took in the deep breath of wet iron mud.

  Wait. What?

  I looked up to the pouring sky, dark, beaded raindrops falling from the black clouds, darker than any storm I’d seen before.

  What the hell is happening?

  A wailing shriek burst through the air.

  “MAX!” I screamed.

  I ran a hand through my hair, the thick mess clinging to my face as I spun around, looking through the dark. I couldn’t see her. The dark was too thick.

  Her panic cries and pained whinnies had my heart racing in my chest, my body feeling so heavy as if it was sinking into the mud beneath me. “Max! MAX!” I cried. “MAX!”

  Growl.

  I froze.

  My mind, my body, the world around me… it all drowned into silence. All except for that sound. Soft breaths coming closer, the faint slash of it passing through the puddled rain… the deep iconic growl.

  I heard it coming closer behind me. As I began to turn, time slowed down.

  Don’t look.

  Don’t look.

  I saw them. Two yellow eyes stared back at me through the darkness. Its pointed teeth and sharp claws wielded.

  It lunged.

  * * *

  “Ronnie!”

  “RONNIE! WAKE UP!”

  Pounding threw me up from the depths of my unconsciousness. A dry throat, burning eyes, and pain all along my left side assaulted me all at once, and the urge to throw up soon followed. “Shit,” I groaned, rolling onto one side before something pricked my stomach and I realized that it was a mistake. “Ow…,” I whined.
r />   “Thank God,” Jax huffed, dropping back and away from me in the bleakness of the room, a hand dragging through the mussed damp hair. As he pushed it back, it remained where it was, and the combed-back look was rather intriguing on him.

  Well, it would have been if I had been dosed up with a painkiller or two.

  “What the hell happened?” I groaned. “Where are we?”

  “In the barn,” Jax grumbled. “Max kicked your side. I’m pretty sure your ribs aren’t broken, but it’s going to leave a pretty bad bruise.” My gaze followed his large hand as it moved above my chest and down to the patch of pink and red skin, crisscrossed with long white marks that were bare to his view.

  My scars!

  “No!” I shrieked, shoving my body up and away, causing a wave of black to cross my vision as the pain shocked my body.

  “Shit, Ronnie!” Jax snapped, his familiar hands clasping around my shoulders, covering the broad length with ease. “Don’t move.”

  “Don’t look at them!” I hissed, pushing away one of his hands while trying to cover the aching, mutilated skin with my other arm.

  Shit. Where is my shirt?

  “Ron—”

  “No!” I fought against him as his hands tried to catch my flailing ones, eyes going everywhere but his face as I looked for my goddamn shirt. My breath was getting heavy, and my side wasn’t letting up, but he wasn’t supposed to see them. He shouldn’t see them.

  Nobody should.

  “Listen to me!” Jax growled with frustration. I didn’t care.

  The faint flash of red caught my eyes, and just over one of the empty stalls hung my damp shirt. My free hand grasped at the nearest steady object, which just happened to be Jax’s shoulder. I surprised him as I used him as leverage to shove my body up, holding my breath as I forced my side to stretch, reaching forward for my shirt.

  I need to cover them up.

  No matter what, he can’t see them.

  He can’t kno—

  I was flat on my back, spikes of hay protruding into my bare back and side, and a dark looming, damp shadow was over me.

  “I know, Ronnie.” Jax’s voice was stern. His body even more stern as it pinned me in place, holding me down with his overwhelming body weight, but it wasn’t the thing that stopped me fighting. It wasn’t even his words.

  It was his eyes. The faint crack of moonlight broke through a gap in the barn wall, and by chance or fate, they crested over his golden pupils, casting an eerily pale shine over the deep brown eyes I was used to. They were like frosted amber, but the feelings pouring out of them was anything but cold.

  It was gentle. It was warm. It was honest.

  “I know it was you, Ronnie,” he breathed, the warmth rolling over my skin. “I know you were the rider.”

  “I wasn’t….” The taste of dry oats and wet fur pressed against my tongue as his hand muffled my words.

  “You don’t need to lie to me anymore, Ronnie,” Jax whispered, his body relaxing against my uninjured side. He pulled his hand away from my lips, flipping over his palm and his calloused skin brushed down the side of my cheek, his eyes wandering across my face.

  Silently traveling softly over my jaw, down the edge of my throat, and trailing the valley of my breasts, leaving a trail of goose bumps in his wake. My focus was on my quickening heartbeat and caught breaths as he moved lower down across my navel. He paid no attention to my ugly skin, moving down to where his fingers met the hem of my jeans.

  “I’ve noticed everything about you for as long as I’ve known you, Ronnie,” Jax confessed, voice sounding miles away. His eyes followed his own movements while my own watched his calm, relaxed face. “I noticed the way you used to tie your ponytail lopsided on purpose, so your mother would fix it for you. I noticed the way you used to duck under the fence, not because you couldn’t jump off it, but because you always got muddy if you did before coming to see me.” His hand traveled over the wet denim, and I became aware of how warm my skin was growing under his touch. His back arched and face pulled away and his body moved down mine. The hay shifted and bristled as he edged his torso next to my hips. His hot, clouded breaths burned into the skin of my thigh. Both hands now wrapped around each side of my knees, then trailed up. “I noticed the way you limp slightly when you’ve been working,” he whispered, pressing a soft, gentle kiss against my ankle causing my breath to hitch.

  “Jax….” My voice quivered, but Jax didn’t listen.

  “I noticed the way you were reluctant to go near the saddles and stirrups in the barn.” He raised himself higher, his lips now pressing softly against the hem of my jeans, my stomach flinching. A faint hiss escaped my lips. Jax ignored it, moving higher until he hovered over my thick, ropey scars. All three that were spaced equally apart, starting off thin before going thicker in the middle and then back to thin. “I noticed the way you’d pace because of the storms. The way you drifted into a world of your own and how you cry out at night. The way you jump at the sounds of the night animals.” His kiss weighed less than a feather against my bruised, gross skin, pressing on each of the scars. He worked his way farther and farther up past the claw marks, traveling up my sternum, my collarbone, and jaw until his face was hovering, only millimeters above mine.

  His cool, honest eyes looked down into mine.

  “I’ve known it all this time. Known everything.”

  The first tear, the second that fell after, and every other one that followed, poured over my quivering skin. Without missing one, Jax pressed a kiss to them softly, and not a single drop reached the hay behind my head.

  I didn’t bawl. I didn’t break down. But I cried. It felt as if it was the first time since the attack that I had cried despite having shed a thousand tears before. But unlike before, with every drop that fell, some of the burden weighing on my chest, the guilt for Max’s injury, the trauma of being helpless, and the fear that I had come close to death, it didn’t hurt as much.

  When the last of my tears dried up, and I was staring up at the dark roof, it felt as if a lifetime of pain had washed out of me. I listened to the sounds of Max’s breathing further in the barn, feeling Jax’s gentle hand running up and down my side, his eyes watching me quietly.

  “Thank you,” Jax whispered, drawing me from my mind.

  I shifted my head, the movement of hay loud in our moment. “For what?” My voice was hoarse and sore, the slight gruffness of it not feminine in the slightest. For once, I couldn’t bring myself to care.

  “For not dying,” he whispered. “If you had, I wouldn’t have had this chance to make everything up to you. I didn’t admit it but after I left, I regretted the way I treated you. I shouldn’t have blamed you for not coming with me. You stayed for the horses. You were braver than I was.”

  His face fell away from mine, eyes looking down. It could have been interpreted as ogling my breasts, but I knew better. The pain and guilt on his face made my hand move without thought, running through the long dark curls on the top of his head, their soft, heavy sensation almost hypnotizing.

  The longer my fingers danced across his scalp, the more I felt his chin rise, away from the place that he buried himself in. His eyes searched for mine, but my gaze stayed on his hair until he’d moved so close I couldn’t look away. My hand stopped, my lips parted, and only a small breath escaped as he leaned and gently melded my lips with his.

  Savoring the smooth feel of his lips over mine, his rough hands kept me still beneath him, taking his time to taste me. The kiss lasted a millennium. All the while, a slow burn grew, and my back arched. His hands slid up my spine, their heat rubbing away the goose bumps he left on my skin and moved to the weak clasp on my bra.

  He kept my mind occupied as he dipped his tongue underneath my lips, running it across the front of my teeth, first the top row, then the bottom, flicking the roof of my mouth.

  Soft groans tugged from the depth of my chest as Jax took his time letting his hands roam up and across my arms. His fingers dipped under the
white cotton straps and he pulled them down my arms an inch at a time. He leaned over just enough to let his own chest pin my loosened bra to my breasts, as not to release them too soon.

  I wanted to call his name, wanted to urge him to move faster, to take me quicker, but something about him kept me passive, kept me waiting on the verge of excitement. The timelessness he created kept me balanced on an edge that allowed him to pull me along at his pace.

  It was completely different from the last time he had taken me, without hesitation, without asking for permission. To such a beast, I had handed myself over in one bite. Now it was as if Jax didn’t want me whole. He wanted to take a little piece at a time, learn every detail, nook and crevice that he could taste on his lips. The smooth pair tasting, nipping, sucking, following the line of my jaw, tongue running along the edge of the bone and up to the lobe of my ear. He sucked lightly, a breath catching along my lips.

  As he moved down my neck, his nose brushed my throat as I swallowed the taste of him in my mouth and into the depths of my body. It caused my breath to hitch with each stroke of his tongue like a tiny tingle of electricity being sent down to my core, the power building stronger at a steady pace.

  A tiny kiss was pressed on my collarbone, and I felt my nipples pebble, alert and longing to be touched. Jax paid them no attention. His fingers released my arm straps and moved just to brush under the metal wire where my globes touched my rib cage.

  He was teasing me. I was sure of it.

  Jax traced every place he was touching. That extreme amount of concentration channeled into each little part of me that he caressed had my own mind overwhelmed. I felt like a painting and Jax my artist as he sculpted me from clay, so keen to make me as real as possible.

  It was such a surreal but unnerving thought that it kept me pinned in place by his hands and his gaze. Hot breaths rolled like soft waves over my knees as a hand tucked underneath each one. With a kiss in exchange, his hands traveled up to the waist of my jeans. He pulled at the softened material. They weren’t skinny jeans, but they still required a dance or two to get off.