by LP Lovell
“Thanks for inviting us.” He puts me down and turns to face the rest of the guys who I assume are his band.
“Roll your fucking tongues back in.” He sighs.
“Well, fucking introduce us.” The guy with the tat’s says.
“Guys this is Molly and Lilly. This is Doug.” He points to tat’s. “Mikey and Spencer.” The other two guys lift their chins. Mikey has long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail. Aside from the excess of hair he’s quite attractive. Spencer is a little scary looking. He’s even bigger than Cruise, in both height and width, and the hair on his head is the same length as the stubble on his face.
“How do you know them?” Doug asks, as his eyes skate up the length of Molly’s legs.
Cruise shrugs one shoulder. “I just do.”
As sweet as he is, trying to play coy never fooled anyone. “We used to fuck.” I blurt.
“Holy. Shit.”
Cruise waves him off before he says anything. “Yeah, yeah, I know. High five.” He smiles at me and offers us drinks.
We talk to the band for a bit. Cruise even gets the bar to bring some vodka back for me.
“I think I’m in love.” Doug declares as I knock back the straight vodka.
“You’re not the first buddy.” Molly laughs. Just like that thoughts of Theo crash through my mind. Fuck no. I am out to have a good time and forget. I am going to move on. I will fuck Cruise, and Theo will not fucking stop me. It’s not that I’m a heartless bitch. I love him, but I’ve made my decision. I need to get on with my life. I may need a little help forgetting though. I fill my half glass almost full and chug four burning gulps of the clear liquid. A small line etches between Molly’s eyebrows. You okay? She mouths at me. I nod my head.
The band is due on in half an hour, so Molly and I head out to find George. The band has a table reserved right by the stage, which we’re told to sit at.
“You’re not okay.” Molly says when we push out the stage door into the bar again.
“I will be. I guess it’s just going to take longer than I thought.”
She nods. “One day at a time baby doll.”
Twenty minutes and three double vodka’s later, I’m drunk. Not quite trashed, but definitely drunk enough to feel numb to everything. I feel great. One day at a time became one drink at a time.
George and I are dancing in the middle of the bar. It’s soft rock music, but fuck it, we make it work. I spot Molly off to the side talking to a blonde guy. He has his back to me, and she throws me a worried glance over his shoulder. He had best not be bothering her. I break away from George, ready to knee the fucker in the balls.
I step up around him to stand beside Molly, and look straight into the smiling face of Hugo. Damn it, I was looking forward to some ball bashing. Maybe I should lay off the vodka, it’s making me violent tonight.
“Molly, why the fuck are you sending me help looks? I thought I was going to have to bust some nuts.” I slur slightly. I glance around the bar and realise that I’m subconsciously looking for Theo. I don’t see him and that comes as both a relief and a disappointment. I want to move on. I want to see him. God, that man really is like a drug for me. I wish I wasn’t addicted, but I am.
“As kinky as you manage to make that sound, I’m good.” Hugo smiles that lazy grin of his.
“Don’t worry. I’ll leave your man veg intact…for now.”
“Lilly.” He says my name like he’s fucking it. “I imagine that having sex with you is akin to fucking a porcupine.” He smirks.
I shrug and offer him a wry smile. “Only the brave may venture. Keeps the riff raff out.” He laughs. “I’m going to go find some more vodka. Bag it up!” I glare at him. Molly puts her face in her hands.
I was so right about Cruise, his voice is like sex and sin dripping over my body. My skin tingles, and I swear my womb just clenched when he growled into the microphone. Their set is a mix of their own music and some covers. They’re good, but Cruise steals the show. No front man, no band. As soon as they came out, any premise of sophistication went out the window. The audience have become animals. Cruise smiles sexily as he catches a bra thrown his way. He winks, and then those baby blues find me stood front and centre stage. I am right there with the crowd. I am a fucking animal. Sweat clings to the nape of my neck as the crowd pushes against me, my pulse races with the beat of the drums. I’ve never been to a live show, but it’s exhilarating. George screams for Cruise to take his shirt off, along with a blow by blow of what he’d like to do to him. I laugh, I dance, I fuck Cruise with my eyes. I don’t care. Do. Not. Care. I’m totally caught up in the moment.
That is until Molly taps me on the shoulder. I turn with a smile on my face, and as I look back through the crowd I get a glimpse of a table in the back. Theo and Hugo are sat with what can only be described as a hoard of women. He doesn’t seem to notice me, and I turn back around quickly. Molly notices my change of expression and follows my line of sight. Her face is apologetic. She points over her shoulder toward the door. Do I want to go? I shake my head. Fuck him. I’m going to have to see him. London’s big, but apparently not big enough.
I go back to dancing with George, but I won’t pretend my mood isn’t hampered. Fuck it. I need another drink. The table Cruise told us to sit at is actually a VIP area. We were given complimentary bottles of Grey Goose, which just happens to be my favourite vodka. I don’t even pour it. I drink it straight from the bottle until my eyes burn and smart from the scorch in my throat. My mood is rapidly deteriorating, but I cling to my earlier care-free state.
As I make my way back to Molly and George a guy gropes my arse, and I don’t just mean cops a feel, like full on has his hand up my non-existent skirt. I fucking hate being touched without permission and in the mood I’m in, I see red. I react instantly and without thought. I swing and punch him in the throat. He drops to his knees clutching his throat as he gasps for breath. In my rage I then grab the back of his head and slam his face into my knee. Blood spurts everywhere and people step back suddenly noticing our little altercation.
“Bitch!” He gasps out. Some fuckers don’t know when to quit. He’s still on his knees, legs slightly spread, so I go for gold. I swing back my leg and drive my foot between his legs. He chokes and gasps as he goes down, curling into a ball. It’s then that I realise the music has stopped and hands are clamped down on my upper arms.
“I suggest you take your hands off me.” I say through panting breaths. I’m riled, and some fucker restraining me is not helping.
“Lilly it’s me. Calm down girl. Fuck.” Cruise’s voice washes over me. Damn it’s such a turn on. I know it’s fucked, but that voice, the music, and beating the shit out of some pervert…I’m really turned on. No, I do not get kicks out of violence. I get kicks out of power. That guy thought he could touch me. I expect his nut sack now begs to differ. A bouncer approaches but Cruise waves him off. His fingers brush over my nape and I shiver. His fingers still instantly. I turn around and he has a wry smile on his face, his eyebrows raised.
“You get off on that huh?”
“He had it coming.” My voice is husky.
He bites his lip. “Fuck, babe. I got a couple more songs to go yet.”
Then I notice the crowd around us staring at us. The rest of the band are still on stage. “Oh, well go do your thing.” Fucking hell, what is wrong with me? I must just be seriously sex deprived. I don’t think I’ve ever gone this long without sex. It’s turning me into an angry psycho. I want him badly right now. He smiles and shocks me by placing a quick but passionate kiss on my lips. I didn’t even see it coming. It’s nice. I love that he wants me, but it feels…wrong? I don’t know. The way I’m feeling right now, that kiss should have lit a fire. It hasn’t. That’s not to say I don’t want Cruise. Every woman in this room wants him. I just expected more. You expected it to be how it was with Theo, a small voice says. I want to flip that voice the bird. No-one will be like Theo. That kind of passion comes around once in a lif
etime, and thank fuck for that. We have the kind of passion that’s all consuming. Never mind sparks, he’s like a fucking bush fire. Amazing, powerful, terrifying and deadly.
The thing is though, I miss that wild unpredictable passion. I crave it. I need it.
As if fate just decided to rub my face in it I look up and see none other than the man himself storming through the crowd, and I do mean storming. He looks positively murderous. Fuck. I can’t do this with him. I step back before whirling around ready to run.
I take a couple of steps before strong arms wrap around me. My libido kicks in instantly, snarling like an awakened beast. It hits me so hard it knocks the breath out of me. My entire body thrums under his touch. I can feel moisture soaking my under wear. Jesus, I’m like a wanton slut. If I thought my reaction to Cruise was bad, he hasn’t got shit on Theo. This is just plain embarrassing. The man makes me want to strip naked and hump his fucking leg. It’s always the same with him, that electric chemistry that makes me want to rip his clothes off. The pull that makes me want to be held by him, and for him to never let go. My body and mind fight against each other as desire courses through my veins like a freight train, competing for dominance over my rational thoughts. His breath is touching my neck, the heat of his chest is seeping through my shirt, his lips are bare inches from my neck and rational thought left the building three double vodkas ago.
As always when it comes to him, I am in deep fucking shit.
Chapter Eleven
Theo
I’m sat in a booth at the back with Hugo. I’m not all that interested in the band. They’re not really my thing. Lilly though, well that’s a different story. I spotted her the moment I walked in. She was dancing in the middle of the bar with George as though they weren’t the only ones. She was dancing like no-one was watching, a small smile on her face, clearly drunk. Hugo tried to make me leave straight away. He gave up pretty quickly when he saw Molly though. He is way more into that girl than he lets on. She’s now in the crowd of people in front of the stage. I narrow my eyes and clench my fists as the singer leans down and sings to her, crooning some lyrics about how her lips are toxic and dangerous. Don’t I know it. She’s slap bang in front of the small stage, and the guy has a serious hard-on for her. Who doesn’t? I’ve had to watch her all fucking night in that scrap of material she calls a skirt and those bloody boots. I’ve watched every bastard in that bar fuck her a hundred different ways in his mind. I should have left when I saw her, this was only going to go one way.
I’m angry at her. Frustrated. Desperate. I want to lock her in a room and shout at her until she understands, but there are no words that could explain my feelings for her. There are no words that could make her love me. I’m forced to accept it and move on. It all just feels like fucking bullshit. I feel so cheated, like I had it all dangled right there in front of me, only to have fate bite me in the arse and rip it all away.
One of the six girls sat at our table runs her hand up my thigh. I look at her briefly. Pretty enough, blonde with brown eyes that scream innocence. Judging by the journey her hand is taking though, I’m going to say that is a definite misconception. I turn back around to see that Lilly has gone. Molly is standing in the spot where they were with a scowl aimed at me. I spot Lilly’s distinctive red hair a few seconds later. She’s stood at the table closest to the stage, which I happen to know is reserved for friends of the performers. That pisses me off. She then picks up a bottle of vodka and starts drinking it straight from the bottle. I laugh lightly to myself. She always did have some fucking balls. She looks shaken though, and that bothers me.
“Jesus dude. Stop staring at her like some creeper will you.” Hugo reaches across miss innocent and slaps me on the shoulder.
“Fuck you. That singer is pushing his fucking luck.” I grit my teeth. Jesus, she brings out the worst in me. I haven’t felt this unhinged since I was sixteen and determined to take my anger out on any kid that looked at me the wrong way.
Hugo grins as he looks at the singer. He laughs. “That’s the guy she went home with the other night.” Red. That’s all I can see, then the music stops.
“Bitch!” That’s all I hear before I focus to where the sound came from. Through the crowd I can just make out Lilly. She’s looking down at someone with a fierce expression on her face.
I watch as she swings her leg back and kicks. There is only one place an upward kick like that was going. It makes me want to cup my balls. I’ve got to say though, the girl is seriously hot when she’s angry. I always did like her feisty side. The singer jumps off the stage and grabs her upper arms as if trying to restrain her. Her posture is rigid tense. I watch her face as she says something through gritted teeth. He quickly lets go of her as if burned and I laugh. Yeah, she’s got serious balls. That guy is huge, and he looks scared of her. The image is ridiculous. She turns around and faces him, a few words are exchanged and then he kisses her. He. Kisses. Her. All fucking hell breaks loose. I’m up and out of my seat before Hugo can stop me, and he’ll try. I hop over the back of the booth.
“Shit. Theo!” Hugo calls as I stride through the crowd to Lilly. The bouncers are picking up the guy she just beat down, and there’s blood on the floor. She looks up and her gaze locks on mine. Her eyes widen before they narrow in a glare so fierce, most guys balls would shrivel. She turns on her heal, ready to make a break for it. The crowd are keeping their distance from her, so I make it to her before she can run. She makes it two steps before I wrap my arms around her from behind. People look at me like I’m clinically insane. I pull her up against my chest and hear her breath hitch.
“Let go of me.” She hisses.
“We need to talk.” I say gruffly. She shivers slightly in my arms. I have to bite my lip. Her body pressed against mine makes my cock stand to attention immediately. I notice, that she makes no attempt to move me. I’d be happy about that if I wasn’t so fucking angry.
I reluctantly release her waist and grab her hand, dragging her through the crowd. My body buzzes under her touch as what feels like an electric current passes between us. She stumbles slightly, the vodka clearly taking it’s toll.
“You’re drunk.” I growl. I don’t know why it bothers me so much. I’ve seen her drunk before. I’ve rescued her several times. Hell, I’ve nearly fucked her drunk before. It bothers me, because the fucking singer is sniffing around her whilst she’s drunk.
“Yes. Last time I checked, that’s none of your concern.”
I pull her up the steps and out the front of the bar. We walk around the corner to where I parked the Range Rover. I open the passenger door. “Get in.” I snap. I need to calm down, but I can’t. He kissed her.
She rips her hand away from me as she throws me a death glare. “No. You wanted to talk, so talk.” I move toward her and she tenses.
“Don’t push me Lilly.” I say through gritted teeth. I roll my neck from side to side. I want to kill him. I want to hurt him. She. Is. Mine. I slam the door and step away from her. Fuck. I need to get myself under control. She watches me carefully, making no move to stop my pacing.
“Are you actually going to talk to me, or just stomp around like a caveman?” She says acerbically.
I move quickly and press her against the car. I brace my hands either side of her head and stare into those emerald eyes. As always she holds my gaze boldly, never backing down. It breaks my anger slightly. Her scent wraps around me, delicate and sensual. Her tight body is so close, her eyes gripping me. I picture fucking her a hundred different ways. My cock strains against the confines of my jeans, begging to be let out. I clench my jaw against the intense need that feels like a fire burning through my body.
She cocks an eyebrow. “Talk?” She tries to sound confident, but I hear the breathy rasp in her voice.
“I asked you before if you fucked him. Did you lie to me?” My voice is ice cold, anger barely contained. Her eyes go wide before she manages to school her expression.
“Seriously?
; I lean in close to her. I’m hanging on by a thread. “Have you fucked him?” I grate out.
She tries to push against my chest. Her breath quickens and her face flicks from desire to anger and back again. “You know what Theo, go fuck yourself!” Anger wins out. She moves to slap me, but she’s drunk and her reflexes are slow. I catch her wrist and use it to pull her closer.
“Lilly.” I growl. I’m not in the mood for her evasive shit. I need to know. This is driving me fucking insane. “I’ll ask one more time. Are you fucking him?”
“Yes!” She screams angrily, her eyes blazing. I know her. I know every facial expression she has, and I know when she’s lying. She clearly doesn’t realise how close to the edge I am right now or she wouldn’t lie about this. Why would she lie? She wants me to think she fucked him?
“No. You’re not.” I say.
Her eyes snap to mine, seduction laced with fury. “I’ve moved on. Deal with it and stop acting like a fucking psycho.” She says angrily.
I laugh harshly. “I’m a psycho. You just beat ten bales of shit out of a guy.”
“He touched me.” She snaps.
I clench my jaw. Is it a fucking wonder when she’s dressed like that? I still want to find the fucker and finish what she started though. Jesus, this is going to kill me. How did I not see this when I was with her? When we were together I always knew that she would deny all of these fucking losers. Now though…I have no claim on her. There’s every possibility she might actually take up with one of these fuckers. Hell no.
“I need to go Theo. I have moved on, so stop harassing me.” We both know that’s not true. I reach out and tuck a stray hair behind her ear. Her breath catches and I can almost see her pulse jumping in her throat from here. I smirk. Testing the water I lean close and brush my lips from her neck to her shoulder. She trembles violently.
I laugh lightly. “You will always be mine, sugar.”
