by LP Lovell
She stands there looking so damn beautiful, making me want to fuck her brains out. Her eyes are blazing. Her body so tightly wound she looks like she’s about to snap any minute. Her breathing is shallow as she tries to control it, but she’s gagging for it. No doubt the fact that she’s drunk isn’t helping her situation. She always did become a dangerous little seductress where alcohol is involved.
“I’m going to find Cruise. I’m going home with him.” She says in a breathless rush. I step away from her and clench my fists over and over trying to control myself. She’ll go home with him over my dead fucking body. The only reason he’s still breathing after that kiss is because I haven’t gotten to him yet. I will though.
“You’re many things Lilly, but never a whore.” I bite. My jaw aches from grinding my teeth so hard. She makes me fucking crazy. I’m not enough, but he fucking is. She slaps me and hits home this time. Hard. I smile, knowing I push her just as much as she pushes me. I don’t know whether to fight with her or fuck her half the time. I love it when she gets feisty.
She’s shaking violently, her hands clenched into fists. “Fuck…” I press her against the car and I kiss her, my rage taking over. It’s unrestrained, raw dominance. She needs to know that I fucking own her. She growls against my lips and bites my bottom lip until I can taste blood in my mouth. I grab her arse and lift her, my fingers digging into her firm flesh. Her thighs clamp around my waist as her fingers grab at my hair, pulling at the roots hard, the bite of pain turns me on even more. I ram my pelvis against her, slamming her into the car hard, she snarls like a wild animal fighting for dominance. My cock is fucking desperate for her. I couldn’t stop if I wanted to. The anger and need flow through me like a living thing.
I unbutton and unzip my jeans quicker than should be possible. I pull them down just enough to expose my cock. Her skirt is already pushed up over her hips exposing a scrap of lace underwear. I rub my cock against her to find the material soaked through. I hiss out a breath. Fucking hell. She moans and tries to push against me, but I slam her against the car again. Nothing about this is careful. It’s an unrestrained claiming. She drags her nails along the back of my neck in response. I rip her underwear away, shredding the lace. Her thighs clench tighter around my hips as the material bites against her skin. I kiss her hard, punishing her lips as I slam into her, burying myself balls deep inside her with one thrust. She screams against my lips, her nails now embedded in my shoulders, even through my shirt. I thrust hard, pummelling her against the unyielding metal and glass at her back again and again. She growls and plunges her tongue into my mouth. She tastes of vodka, sex and sin. She is my downfall. I grab her hair and pull her head to the side to expose her neck. I pound into her hard as I bite down on her pulse. She screams out as her thighs clamp tight around me, her pussy gripping me hard sends me hurtling over the edge with a hoarse shout. I come like a fucking fire hose inside her. Fuck. Me.
My legs are trembling, my chest heaving. I lift her off my cock and slide her to the ground before I crumple and drop her. She keeps her eyes down as she adjusts her skirt back into place. Her underwear is ruined. The thought of her going anywhere in that skirt with nothing underneath drives me insane. She looks so beautiful, her hair wild, skin flushed and lips slightly puffy. I re-fasten my jeans, only now aware that I just fucked her in an alleyway. An alleyway where anyone could see, and there is no way that nobody heard that. I just can’t control myself around her. She was looking at me like she wanted to eat me alive. There’s only so much a guy can take.
“I don’t know…That wasn’t…” She stumbles over words. “Fuck. Fuuuck! I have to go.” She says quickly. “I’m sorry.” She mumbles. The shame and regret rolls off her in waves. Of course she’s ashamed. She lost control. She succumbed to me despite the fact that I’m the shitty ex-boyfriend who’s not good enough for her. Her shame cuts me deep and opens up an already festering wound. Her apology just rubs salt in the wound. I don’t need her fucking apology or her sympathy. The words not enough echo through my mind, and I grit my jaw against her blatant rejection. Well fuck her. This shit goes both ways.
I shrug and manage to plaster a smirk on my face, feigning the arrogance expected of me, despite the anger boiling just beneath the surface. “Don’t be. I really needed a fuck, and no-one fucks like you Lilly.” I smile smugly as I step closer to her, and whisper against her ear. “I know you love to be fucked like a dirty whore.” My voice is venomous, aimed to strike her where it hurts. Her expression tells me I hit home. I want her to feel just a fraction of the pain I do when I look at her. To feel just a fraction of what it’s like to have the person you trusted to stand by you, to love you, treat you as if you’re nothing.
“You won’t see that singer again.” I grit out.
“Fuck you.” She hisses.
“Seems you just did.” I smirk.
“You can’t tell me who I can or can’t see.” She growls.
“Watch me. You may be a whore, but you’re my whore, and I don’t fucking share.”
“I’m a whore! That’s rich, coming from the guy who can’t keep his dick in his pants for five fucking minutes. You define whore!” She screams.
“You are mine Lilly.” I growl at her.
“Don’t kid yourself Theo. You’re nothing more than a mistake that I seem to make time and time again.” She steps closer until her chest is pressed against me. “You may be addictive, but you’re poison. I will never be yours again.”
She turns on her heel and storms down the alleyway.
“Fuck!” I roar as I launch my fist into the side of the car, barely acknowledging the pain in my hand. I take deep breaths. That fucking woman. How does she do this to me every time?
She leaves me no choice. Time to take matters into my own hands and pay that singer a visit.
I find him stood at the bar. The show has finished and I guess the party is getting started. All four of the guys are doing shots.
I plaster a sincere smile on my face. “Hey guys. Loved the show.”
They turn around, and the look on Cruise’s face tells me he knows exactly who I am. “Um, thanks man.” The one with all the tattoo’s says.
I keep my attention away from Cruise, otherwise I might kill him, and that won’t fix the situation. What I’m about to do however, will. “Look, I have a lot of contacts in the industry. I’m willing to fund a demo, and try and get you guys a record deal.”
They all stare at me in silence for a moment. I notice them start to subtly assess me, my clothes, my shoes, the fifty grand watch on my wrist.
“You’re serious?” The hairy one asks. I nod.
“I…shit, I don’t know what to say. This is epic.” Tats says with a grin. “When do we start?”
I smile and hand him my business card. “Call me on Monday and I’ll set it up.”
He reads the card before his eyes go wide. “You’re Theodore Ellis.”
I smirk. “The man himself.”
“Holy shit.”
I keep the smile on my face. “Singer, I need to speak to you. Alone.”
I walk away from the bar to where it’s slightly quieter. When I turn around he’s stood right behind me, his thick arms crossed over his even thicker chest. All I can see is his lips on Lilly. I clench my fists, but wince when my right hand screams in protest. He glances down at my split knuckles but says nothing.
“So this is how it’s going to work. I am going to be true to my word and I will try and get you guys a record deal. You, are to leave Lilly alone. No contact. You don’t call her, you don’t see her, nothing.”
He presses his lips together in a thin line. “So let me get this right. You’re going to try and get the band a record deal all because you don’t want me near your ex-girlfriend who wants nothing to do with you.
I grit my teeth. “Just be grateful that I have a motivation to help you.”
“Do you even have an interest in the band?” He scowls.
I shrug. “I will do once I
’ve invested money into you recording. I don’t like losing on investments.”
“So, that’s what this is, an investment?”
I step closer to him. “No, this is leverage. Stay away from her. I see you near her again, and I won’t be offering you a record deal to get you away from her.”
He glances down, a torn expression on his face. “She’s my friend, and she needs me thanks to her dick shit of an ex-boyfriend who fucked her over. I’m not going to sell her out.”
“Lilly doesn’t need anybody, and she never will. Remember that before you turn this down. Think about your band mates.” I counter.
He glances up, a glint of anger in his eyes. “Don’t try and manipulate me with your shit. I am the band, without me they have nothing. If I walk the band is finished anyway. Plus, they’ve met Lilly. They like Lilly. They will understand.”
One look, and I can tell he’s in love with her. I don’t think she even realises the effect she has on people around her. “You do realise she will never love you.” I snap.
He inhales sharply. “I know.”
“So why give up an opportunity for her?” I know why, because Lilly is the sort of woman you would sacrifice everything for.
He doesn’t answer. “Just tell me why you want me to walk away so badly.”
I pause for a moment. “Because I love her, and I will get her back. You’re just an obstacle. A distraction for her.”
He sighs. “Okay, but I don’t want you to try and get us a contract, if I’m going to do this for you, then you are going to get us a contract. Deal?”
I smile. I love it when people drive a deal. “Deal. But you do not even think her name. Are we clear?”
“Jesus mate, you’ve got some serious issues.” He shakes his head before turning and walking away.
Chapter Twelve
Lilly
Theodore fucking Ellis. Arsehole extraordinaire. So, now I hate him. I can’t believe he used me like that. He called me a whore and it stings coming from him. I hate this fragility he brings out in me. I loved him. I trusted him. This is what love does, it just empowers people to hurt you. This hurt so much more because it was him. Is it wrong of me to say I expected better? Damn it, I should never have had sex with him. What was I thinking? He’s right, I am just a whore. I fucked him in an alleyway for god’s sake. Yet now I’m upset because he treated me like one of his whores.
The problem is, I have no defence against Theo. He’s inside my walls no matter how much I wish it otherwise. He’s the only one who has the ability to hurt me, because he’s the only person who I’ve allowed myself to trust in that way. When you love someone you place your heart in their hands without ever even realising you’ve given it to them until it’s too late. Even now, when it’s over and I want my heart back, he still has it.
All this is because he can’t deal with me moving on. If he can’t have me then no-one can. That in the alleyway, that was him making a claim, and I fucking let him. God, I need to stop drinking. The arsehole always seems to turn up when I’m drunk and take advantage, whether it’s getting me to spill my heart to him or spread my legs.
He has no right to do this to me. This shit is his doing. I dared to think that maybe, just maybe I could actually have it all. I dared to trust him, to believe in him, only to have it ripped away in the cruellest way. It would have been easier if he had cheated, or majorly wronged me in some way, then I could just hate him. I wanted a clean break, he wouldn’t give it to me. Well after that little show last week, that is it. I am so done.
I’m determined now more than ever to go back to the way things were before him. I’m determined to be over him, even if I have to force myself into it. Of course at this point Cruise would be the perfect candidate to kick start the process, but I cannot get hold of him. I’ve called, texted and emailed him with no response. I’m starting to worry about him. As much as I want to fuck him, we’ve kind of become friends. He gets me. He doesn’t ask questions. He just is. It’s refreshing. What if he knows I fucked Theo in an alleyway? Maybe he thinks I’m a slut. Even so, he would pick up the phone, surely. I vaguely remember him saying he was playing at The Underground tonight, so I’m going.
Molly said she’d come with me. That place is rough as hell. I consider myself to be pretty ballsy, but I wouldn’t go in there alone. The Underground isn’t even an official place, everyone just calls it The Underground. It’s actually just a huge basement underneath an Irish bar that operates as a club. It’s secretive. You have to know the right people to get in. That means that it’s a hive of illegal activity. It also means that there’s a whole new level of debauchery there on a nightly basis. The place has a certain energy about it. I’ve been there a couple of times with Harry, so I have an in.
Molly comes in the front door. “Hey.” She calls.
She comes to stand in front of me where I’m sat on the sofa. She puts her hands on her hips. “Lilly. I know you’re in a shit place but are you sure about to night, I mean it’s the underground. Someone was stabbed there last week.”
“Lighten up Mole, don’t you want to live on the edge a little?” I smirk.
“Uh, not really.”
“You shouldn’t have befriended me then.” I smile.
“I was five. I don’t think I was really thinking about lifestyle choices back then.” She huffs.
Ignoring her I grab her hand and lead her to her room. “Go shower, and then come back and we’ll find you something to wear.
An hour later and I’m wearing a dress that’s short and low cut. I slip on some Jimmy Choo stilettos with straps that wind all the way up my calves. I leave my hair loose and wavy, and put on some harlot red lipstick. Done. Watch them come running.
I step into the hallway just as George is coming through the door with a guy I don’t know. His jaw drops when he see’s me.
“Holy fucking shit.” He whispers.
“Who’s your friend babe?” His friend is hot. Like really hot. I’m not getting gay vibes from him, but he is here with George so…still, never hurts to ask. I eye him from top to toe. He raises an eyebrow at me and smiles. Dark hair, dark eyes, tanned and ripped. Yep, I would.
“This is Dan and he’s gay.” George says dead pan.
“Shame.” I purr at him.
“But from the way you’re looking at him, and that dress…seriously Lill’s, is it painted on?” He pinches a bit of fabric. “You’re on the prowl.”
I shrug. “Maybe.” I move to the kitchen and pour a shot of vodka into a glass.
Molly then strolls into the room, wearing a similarly short dress, but with a high halter neck to it. I bring my glass of vodka into the hall where she’s shaking hands with Dan. “You look hot babe.”
“Thanks.” She says unenthusiastically. “Might as well throw some glitter on the lamb before you lead it to the slaughter.” She snipes. I snort. She is so over dramatic.
“Where are you guys going?” Dan asks politely whilst eyeing Molly’s impossibly long legs.
“Are you sure he’s gay?” I hiss in George’s ear.
He shrugs. “Don’t care as long as he does what I need him to do.” He cocks an eyebrow at me. “He does.” Fair enough.
“Underground, there’s a gig there tonight.” Molly replies.
“Ah shit.” George mumbles.
“I’ve never heard of it. Where is it?” Dan asks.
“Um, it’s kind of exclusive.” George says quickly.
“Do you guys want to come?” I ask. George glares at me from over Dan’s shoulder.
“We’re gay Lill’s. We will get stabbed.” He says flatly.
“I’m going to get stabbed.” Molly says.
“You do scream stab victim.” George mocks.
“If I do get stabbed you’re going to regret saying that.” She says as I pull her toward the door before she changes her mind.
“Have fun, and Lilly…” I glance over my shoulder at him. “No really bad boys okay.”
I smir
k. “You’re no fun at all George.” The badder the better right now. I need the opposite of Theo’s suited and clean cut godly looks. I want rugged, pure man, dirty ink and all.
I throw her my car keys at Molly as we make our way to the underground garage around the corner where George and I keep our cars.
“You drive, we’ll get a taxi back.” I say.
She shrugs. “Okay.”
Molly manoeuvres the Mas out of the car park and onto the street.
“So, how are you anyway Lill’s?” Molly asks casually. I haven’t really spoken to her about the Theo thing. I guess I feel she’s too close to it all. She still speaks to him. Molly was the first to point out that it was me who hadn’t wanted him, and I couldn’t blame him for sleeping with someone else. I knew this, I know this, but I don’t need to hear it, because it doesn’t make the situation any better. It is what it is and there’s no changing that. What with Molly seeing so much of Hugo, I guess I’ve tried to avoid this conversation, for fear of hearing about Theo. I know I’m a terrible friend, but Molly will point out the rational facts of the situation. I’m not rational, I’m hurt. George on the other hand offered to post a dog shit through his letter box, now that is what you need after a shitty break-up.
Of course my efforts not to hear or think about him have been royally fucked up by him being a general twat.
“I’m okay.” I answer briefly.
“You know, I’m sorry for trying to push you into forgiving him. What he did the other night was unforgiveable. He has no right to speak to you like that.”
“I still love him.” I blurt. This is where Molly is good, she understands this weakness I have for him. She doesn’t judge my pathetic fucking craving for him.
“He loves you.” She says quietly.
“And it changes nothing. It’s tragic really.” I huff a laugh.
“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here, but if that girl had the baby and it was his, would it be so bad if you were with him?”
Yes it would. I sigh. I might as well just tell her and break up this little fantasy she has going on. “Molly I can’t have kids.” I say quickly. “I don’t necessarily want them, but Cassie is giving him a shot at something I never will.” She pulls over to the side of the road in a screech of tyres. “Fucking hell Molly, careful!”
