Deeper

by Ronica Black

  “You should’ve just asked.” Patricia stared ahead.

  “I did ask. You told me no.”

  “Well, you should’ve asked again. I would’ve done something.”

  “No, you wouldn’t have,” Erin said softly. “Because you’re a good cop, Patricia. The best. This is my fault. And I don’t like keeping things from people, especially you, especially after all that’s happened. You’re a good friend and I don’t ever want to lose you.”

  Patricia drove on, nearing the station. As mad as she was, she couldn’t hate Erin. She still loved her. Erin was a good person. Just confused and in love. Lost and in love. “Did you share the information with anyone else?”

  “No, I swear. No one else laid eyes on those files.”

  “When did you do it?” Her mind flew as she tried to put what Erin was telling her together.

  “One night when you were asleep.”

  Patricia rubbed her forehead. “Damn it, Mac.” But she was more frustrated than she was angry. “Well, what’s your opinion? I might as well ask.” God knew, she wasn’t getting anywhere.

  “The crosses bother me.”

  Patricia drove on. “Yeah, me too.”

  “I think they’re very significant. A message from the killer.”

  “What kind of message?”

  “I’m not sure. But they mean something. It could be a religious statement.”

  Patricia needed to do more research. Erin was on the right path; she agreed with everything she’d said so far. “Has Liz ever talked about religion?” she asked.

  “No. It never came up. And she never spoke about it in regard to Jay either.”

  “What about the DNA? How do you explain that?”

  “I can’t explain it,” Erin said. “How does blood from Jay or Liz end up on De Maro? It’s one thing if it was on his clothes, because Liz is in daily contact with him. But for it to be on his underwear?”

  “Yeah, I can’t figure it out either. It just seems to say that one of them was there at an intimate time with him.” An idea flashed in Patricia’s mind. “What about the restrooms at the studio? Are they unisex?”

  “Yes.”

  “Maybe he somehow came into contact with Liz’s blood in there?” Patricia tapped her hand on the steering wheel. “Although that’s awfully coincidental, don’t you think?”

  “Stranger things have happened.”

  “So, what now?” Patricia asked, referring to everything.

  Erin wiped her eyes, the tears no longer falling. “I give every last piece of paper back to you and move on.”

  “Where are you going to go?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You can still stay with me. For as long as you need to.” Patricia glanced sideways again. “I’ll just lock my office.”

  They both laughed a little. The sunlight reflected off Erin’s watery eyes.

  “No, you shouldn’t have to do that. I’ll be fine. It’s time for me to go.” Erin stared out the passenger window. “I couldn’t solve the case. And it doesn’t matter because Liz doesn’t want to work things out with me. I’m beginning to think it’s because Jay really was involved in the whole thing. And maybe Liz knows that.”

  “I’m not sure. Things still aren’t adding up. I honestly don’t know what to tell you.” Patricia slowed and swung into a parking space. She killed the engine.

  Erin looked at the station. “You brought me here?”

  “Yep. I’ve got an interview I’m late for, so come on.”

  “But what about my betrayal and being a civilian?”

  Patricia shrugged. “You can wait in the truck if you want.”

  She got out. Erin hurried to do the same, asking, “Are you sure this is okay?”

  “Ruiz might have my ass, but he already has it for numerous other reasons. One more won’t kill me.” Patricia ran her security badge through the reader. When the tiny light turned green, she pushed open the door and held it for Erin. “Just promise me you’ll sit still and keep quiet.”

  Erin nodded and kept her head low. Patricia could tell she was a little excited.

  They wound their way toward Homicide. It was after five but the office was still buzzing. Many folks said hello, some stuttering a little when they recognized Erin.

  A group of male detectives clustered in the center of the room. Gary Jacobs turned, caught sight of them, and raised his hands.

  “Surprise!” he called out.

  “Surprise!” The dozen or so other men bellowed. Streamers flew up in the air along with balloons. They all started in on “For She’s a Jolly Good Fellow” before Patricia realized the reception was for her.

  On her desk sat a large sheet cake. In the center a book had been drawn in icing, along with the word “Congratulations.” The cover of her latest book had been blown up and was on a stand next to her desk. Some of the guys had signed it and others were waiting to do so.

  Gary approached with a plastic cup of what appeared to be champagne. “To our esteemed author!”

  “Hear, hear!” they shouted, toasting her as Hernandez filled more cups.

  Patricia felt her skin heat and redden all the way down to her toes. She didn’t realize she was standing still until Gary took her hand and tugged.

  He gave Erin a polite smile, handing over his own cup. She looked just as confused as Patricia felt, but they both followed him over to her desk.

  Stewart was waiting with a cake knife. He waved it at Patricia. “I’m assuming I’m not the overweight, overindulging, rude detective in this thing.” His eyes were big and expectant.

  “Of course you aren’t.” She smiled.

  Stewart grinned. “Good, that guy was a real asshole.”

  They all laughed and he cut the cake. Pieces were handed out and laughs were had throughout the room. The guys signed the poster board book, since they’d all been involved in the story in one way or another. It was a joke and she was just happy that none of them seemed to be upset. In fact, they all seemed pleased for her.

  To her surprise, some of the guys gave her gifts. Gary insisted she sit down and he handed one after the other. She opened some really nice, very costly looking ink pens, a new handheld recorder, a couple of leather journals, and some lingerie.

  “We wanted to get you that stripper we had for Stewart that one time but Jacobs wouldn’t let us,” Hernandez said.

  “So we got you some fancy panties and bras,” Stewart explained, wiggling his eyebrows up and down, “because we all know you’ll get some serious pussy after this.”

  Gary hit him in the arm.

  “Hey, ouch. Come on, she will. She wrote a fucking book. Chicks love that shit.”

  Patricia covered her face with her hands. Through her fingers she saw the guys continue to laugh as they passed around the numerous bras and panties, examining them fully. When she heard Erin laugh she lowered her hands. Erin was laughing so hard she was nearly crying. After the emotional roller coaster she’d been on lately, it didn’t surprise Patricia to see her do both at the same time.

  “I forgot how funny Stewart was,” Erin explained.

  Stewart heard her and paused, fork full of cake in midmotion, as if he’d just seen her. “Mac, what the fuck are you doing here?” He wasn’t angry, just truly shocked.

  Erin laughed harder.

  “Am I drunk already?” Stewart looked around. “Jacobs, I thought you said that sparkly was fake.”

  “It is,” Gary called out.

  When no one offered further explanation, Stewart shrugged. “I am funny. I’m a real fucking funny guy.” He shoveled in the cake as they all laughed some more.

  *

  “Sally Trucker” showed up at the station at the scheduled time. Her name was really Paige Daniels. Right away Patricia pegged her as odd. She’d offered to come in, claiming that she was going to be driving back through Valle Luna anyway. She stood about five feet nine inches tall and wore blue jeans that were two inches too short and a teal green tank top. H
er salt-and-pepper hair was cut very short. Long earrings hung from her ears, turquoise dream catchers that swayed as she spoke.

  She greeted them loudly as Gary led her in. The little party was over. Ruiz had shown up just to bust everyone’s chops, insisting they get back to work. He’d approached Patricia only to say, “Hurry up and get these next two guys. Then you can write all the goddamn books you want.” He’d eyed Erin then but didn’t say a word. All had breathed sighs of relief as he left.

  Paige took the chair she was offered at Patricia’s desk. Erin sat a few feet away at Gary’s, looking through victim photos. Paige fidgeted constantly and had a cough that shook the walls. When she didn’t cover her mouth, Patricia offered her a box of Kleenex. She declined and complained about a bitch of a sinus infection she couldn’t seem to rid of.

  “Had it for going on two weeks now.” She coughed again and stretched her arms outward, displaying long hair under one arm. Just the one side. The other had none.

  How do you have just one hairy armpit? It baffled Patricia.

  Gary pulled his chair up to the desk. “Ms. Daniels.”

  “Mrs.,” she corrected. “Got me a husband back in Tacoma. Only want the one, though. One’s enough.” She winked at Patricia.

  Gary cleared his throat. “We wanted to re-interview you after hearing that you have recently remembered seeing someone on the highway leading out of Valle Luna.”

  “Yep. I did. I mean I didn’t remember it at first, when you all first called. But I remembered it driving back by here on another run. Bam.” She smacked her forehead. “Just as plain as day, there it was.”

  Again she coughed. Gary rolled his chair back. Paige didn’t seem to notice.

  “When did you see something?” Patricia asked. “Do you remember the date?”

  “I checked my log, and yeah, I remember. It was five months ago, on the twelfth of October.”

  Patricia jotted down the date. The woman kept a log. That was something. At least they wouldn’t have to trust her memory. “What did you see?”

  “Well, I saw a man on the side of the road. He was walking fast, coming up from behind his car. Then he got in.”

  “That’s it?” Gary asked.

  Paige began to swivel in her chair. “Well, I noticed because it was strange. His hazard lights weren’t on, no lights were on at all. So I figured it wasn’t car trouble. Or maybe he needed to pee. But there was a rest stop not even a mile back. So I remember thinking, I wonder what he’s doing.”

  “What did he look like?” Patricia asked.

  “Average build. Kinda plain looking. Dark hair.”

  “Was he tall?”

  She shrugged. “Average.”

  “Do you remember what the car looked like?”

  “Oh, yeah. It was one of those smaller SUVs. And it was gold. Reflected real pretty in my headlights.”

  “You didn’t happen to write down the license plate, did you?” Gary didn’t sound hopeful.

  “No, but I’m willing to be hypnotized. I know you all do that sometimes. Seen it on TV.” Paige stood to adjust the small fan Gary had on his desk. She fanned herself as well. “Valle Luna is so hot. I don’t know how you people stand living here.”

  “It’s seventy-five degrees out,” Gary said.

  “I know. It’s hot. I never can wait to get back up to Tacoma. When the guys unload my truck, sometimes I just blast the cooler and stand back there and watch instead of stepping out into the heat.”

  Patricia smiled at her. “We sure appreciate you coming in to talk to us.”

  “No problem. Think you’ll need to hypnotize me?”

  Gary cleared his throat as he wrote. “Not at the present moment. Is there anything else you can remember?”

  She looked to the ground in thought. Then she jerked and Patricia did as well.

  “Yeah!” She pointed at Patricia. “I remember he was dressed funny. He had on jeans and a long-sleeved shirt in October. It was still in the nineties and I remember thinking how crazy he was. I was wearing shorts and a tank top at the time.”

  Gary looked up from his notebook. “Was there anything on his clothes? Dark patches?”

  Paige was perfectly still for the first time that evening. “You know, come to think of it, his knee was dark. A big dark area. You don’t think that was blood, do you?”

  No one answered her.

  “Mrs. Daniels, thank you very much for your time,” Gary said as he stood to shake her hand.

  “We really appreciate it,” Patricia added.

  Paige stood, looking horrified and confused. “That’s it? I feel so strange. What if I really saw the killer? Are you sure you don’t want me to get hypnotized?”

  Patricia walked her to the door. “We’ll call you if we need anything else.”

  Paige left, but only after making sure Patricia had both her cell phone and home numbers.

  Gary shook his head as she returned to their desks. “Strange woman.”

  “I’d say she’s taken way too many caffeine pills.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  The porch swing creaked as the screen door slammed shut behind Lizzie. She stood there and stared at Jay, who sat pushing herself in the swing, humming down to the bundle in her hands.

  “Whatcha doin’?” Lizzie asked.

  Jay continued to push against the porch floor with her bare feet. She was humming “Elvira.” She didn’t answer and it didn’t surprise Lizzie. Jay hadn’t spoken to anyone in days.

  Lizzie turned up her Coke and downed it. She walked to the swing and held a cold can out for Jay, who shook her head. Lizzie sat down next to her and opened the new one for herself. She always drank a Coke to feel better. Her aunt Dayne swore by its medicinal powers. If she had a tummy ache it was “drink a Coke.” If she had a headache it was “drink a Coke.”

  So she sat there in that swing with her sister and downed a second one, hoping Dayne was right.

  “Wanna go watch TV?” she asked.

  Jay sat and hummed. Her head looked funny where some pieces of hair were still longer than the others. Dayne had tried to trim it all even, but Jay wouldn’t let her near her. She wouldn’t let anyone touch her. Only Lizzie.

  Lizzie looked at the bundle in Jay’s hands. A tiny bird head peeked out of a wad of dish towel. Jay was stroking the little head. Lizzie knew it was dead. The eyes were just holes and the beak was open and unmoving.

  Lizzie worried that if Jay didn’t start eating, she’d end up looking like that dead bird. Just bones covered by feathers.

  “You better not let Aunt Dayne see you with that bird again.”

  Yesterday Dayne was making their beds and she’d found the bird under Jay’s pillow. She hollered and cried, had a good fit right there in their room. Jerry came and took it away. Jay had started to have her own fit then, screaming and hollering. She’d been up sick all night long, head hung over the toilet, all because of the bird. So Lizzie had snuck out and plucked the bundle out of the garbage and brought it back to her. Jay had slept just fine after that.

  There was no harm in Jay having that bird. It was dead, so she didn’t even have to feed it. Dayne was going on about germs and how it wasn’t right to have a dead animal, but Jay was just doing what made her happy. And Lizzie would do anything to make sure she was okay. Even if it meant making sure she had her dead bird to pet. Eventually the bird was just going wither away to nothing and it would start to smell real bad. When that happened Lizzie would go find her a real pretty live one to keep. She’d already climbed a few trees looking for eggs. There were three that she was sure would hatch soon. When they did she’d take one and bring it to Jay to hand feed. That way it would be tame. It would be a bird that would never leave her side.

  Lizzie couldn’t wait. That would make Jay real happy.

  Maybe she’d even start talking again.

  “It’s gonna be okay, Jay,” she said, leaning back in the swing. “It’s all gonna be okay.”

  “Lizzie?”
<
br />   She looked to her right but Jay was gone, vanished. The swing slowed. She looked out at the yard but saw nothing.

  “Lizzie?” The call was louder.

  She took off down the porch steps and ran toward the woods.

  “Lizzie, help me!”

  She ran harder, looking everywhere. “Jay!”

  She ran farther, her sister’s voice growing distant. Tree after tree blurred by as she ran. Finally she got to the last one. It stood large and full of foliage. She slowed to a walk and called for Jay. A sinister laugh echoed around and dozens of birds flew noisily up out of the tree, leaving the skeletal branches looking empty and dead.

  “Lizzie!”

  Liz sat up, gasping for breath. Her chest was caving in on her lungs, she was sure of it. She reached for Erin. Her bandaged hand hit nothing but sheets. Her stomach fell again. Erin was gone as well. She missed her. Wanted her. Needed her.

  She climbed out of bed and hurried to the bathroom. After switching on the light, she turned on the faucet and filled a cup with water. It stung her throat, but she forced it down. Then she refilled the cup and splashed her face.

  She studied her reflection as the water ran off her face. She looked gaunt, as if she were dead herself. Deep in her eyes she saw her sister. She’d cut her hair to remind her every day of Jay. Every time she saw herself, she saw Jay. And now, every night when she closed her eyes, she saw her as well.

  Jay was calling for her. Jay needed her.

  “Where are you?” Liz asked into the mirror. “Oh God, Jay. Help me find you.”

  *

  “Try to rest tonight,” Patricia said as she dropped Erin off at the hospital to pick up her Toyota.

  She watched her drive off just to be sure. Then she followed in her Blazer. When she felt certain Erin was simply going home, she turned in the opposite direction and drove in silence. She lowered her window, wanting the fresh breeze. Her phone buzzed and she plucked it off her belt and flipped it open. She smiled when she saw the text she’d been waiting for. She accelerated onward.

  Her mind went back to “Sally Trucker” as she drove past narrow rows of newly built condos. The information from Paige was interesting and she needed to talk it out with someone. Her heart rate sped up as she reached her destination. She parked and quickly left her vehicle. When she knocked on the familiar door and heard a voice call out, her pulse tripled in pace.