For the next half an hour, fae trotted in obediently to join us, most of them looking terrified. I smiled at the flashes of colour and the wings—no more strapping down their wings with shame.
I tried to hide my feeling of triumph, but Sadler felt it. He reached for my hair and tugged it.
“My gift,” Brendan called out, approaching the dais. “I offer the queen an experienced pixie to take care of her in her… condition.”
Sadler dropped his hand and glared at Brendan. “A pixie?”
My heart froze, and my trembling hands stilled. Brendan beckoned, and a blue-haired pixie danced over to him.
“No!” I shouted. “I don’t want her. I don’t want a pixie at all!”
Anya looked up at me, expressionless. I shook my head, but they didn’t retract the offer of a gift.
Sadler laughed. He could probably taste my horror in the air. “Come, little pixie. Come kneel at our feet.” He glared at me. “Thank him for his gift, wife.”
I licked my lips, wishing I could throw something at him. “Thank you,” I managed to rasp.
Anya avoided my eyes and settled carefully on the steps at my feet. I felt sick again. A lump formed in my throat. She was supposed to get married and be happy. But she was tied to me… again. If I died, she would, too, unless they meant for her to take care of my baby when I was gone. I breathed a little easier.
“I request a dance,” Brendan said. “As my thank you.”
Sadler hesitated then looked around the room and nodded. “A quick dance. She isn’t strong.”
To my surprise, Rumble stepped forward without being told and helped me down the steps. He handed me over to Brendan as the music changed to a waltz-like rhythm. The royals of the Chaos Court joined in as Brendan carefully moved me around the floor. I looked over his shoulder, my fingers shaking in his grip.
“Look at me,” he murmured. “Let me see.”
I glanced at him and saw the worry in those familiar green eyes. My breath hitched in my throat.
“I’m so sorry I failed you,” he said. “We can’t get you out of here without risking your life. You have help now. Find the right time and take Dubh. He’ll get you home. Don’t answer me. Just know what you have to do. We’ll have people waiting to hold off the soldiers who follow. Just keep riding. You have time. Wait for the right opportunity then don’t look back.”
A tear formed in the corner of my eye. He stopped dancing to wipe it away.
I looked at him and felt as though it was the last time I would see him. “You’re a good king,” I whispered then slipped out of his grasp and moved back to the throne.
Sadler was almost convulsing with anger. His face had turned purple, and he looked ill. Withdrawal, I thought.
“Stop the music!” he screamed. “I tire of dancing. Let us sit at the feast tables. Everyone! Everyone is to join us. My wife and I have a wedding gift for all of you.”
At the table, he pulled a chair right next to him for me. When I dared to raise my eyes, he slapped my hand.
“You do not look at anyone but me, and even then, only when I give you permission,” he said under his breath. He was losing control.
I stared at the huge ring on my hand and wondered why my entire life had led me to that moment. I decided to sit quietly and wait for him to burn through his temper.
“Are you looking at my wife?” he shouted.
I flinched and hung my head.
“I was wondering if she is ill,” Brendan said in a pleasant tone. “She seems half as well as she was in my care.”
“In your care,” Sadler sneered. He stood. “My wife, the whore, has pleasured many a king, so why not give her gift to the entire realm?” He grabbed a hank of my hair. “Let her pleasure the entire room. Doctor!”
I shook as he let go of my hair and sat. A guard I didn’t know came behind me and pinned me to my chair. Most of the Chaos Court members turned their heads away.
“What are you doing?” Brendan asked in a tight voice. “Have you gone mad?”
“She has a gift for you all.” Sadler waved at the doctor. “Make sure there’s enough to go around.”
The doctor laughed and coughed then laughed again. I gripped my chair arms and looked at the ceiling, ready for the nightmare to begin all over again. More soldiers surrounded us and held out their weapons in preparation. There was no saving me. I was a lost soul.
The doctor moved toward me. I didn’t even see the staff move. The pain came in waves, shocking my emotions to the surface. It happened easier than last time, probably because I was already shaky. I heard murmured protests, even some shouting, but I concentrated on keeping calm.
“More,” Sadler said. “She’s resisting. Give her everything.”
The mirror shard glinted in the corner of my eye. My body arched upward, out of my control. A hiss escaped my clenched teeth. I couldn’t look around. If I saw anyone I knew, I would lose myself completely. I desperately tried to swallow my emotions, but they kept leaking out of me. There was too much danger, too much magic.
And it was Drake’s panicked voice that lost me. He called my name as if he cared. I let out a gush of air, and the emotions strangled me, pulling me down into that nightmare of death and darkness again. It was worse and worse and worse again. I couldn’t breathe as I strained against the soldier’s hands.
“Continue,” Sadler commanded. “Let them see.”
Vix called Sadler’s name, sounding worried. I glanced at him and saw him slumped in his seat, a half-smile on his face. Some of the maids wept and sank to the floor. Rat rocked to and fro, her head knocking against the wall.
The doctor muttered indistinguishable words, and a brand new pain ripped through my body. I tried to hold in my scream, but someone else screamed for me, something about blood and a baby.
The soldier lost his hold on my spasming body. I looked down, and the mental nightmares cleared because a true one was happening right before my eyes. Blood covered my skirt.
I screamed. Then, I jumped up and doubled over, holding my stomach, praying the baby would stay inside, would live. But the bloodstain spread scarily quick, and gasps of horror sounded all around me.
“He killed the child,” Sorcha said in a lifeless voice. “I feel death.”
No! I screamed with pain and anger and horror and everything in my soul. That release of emotion stilled everyone. Nobody moved to stop me as I seized a fork and gripped Sadler’s collar. He blinked lazily, then I stabbed him in the eye.
“You killed her!” I screeched, reaching out to strike again, to cause more damage.
Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me away. Roars of pain and indignation filled the room. Fae ran everywhere, but Rumble had me in his arms and was carrying me away from the table.
Reynard stepped in front of us with his sword unsheathed. Let him, I wanted to say. I had nothing left.
“No,” Rumble said. “She went mad with grief. You have no orders to harm her.” He nodded at Vix. “Send for the midwife immediately.”
“Cara,” Anya whimpered beside us.
I caught sight of Drake’s eyes, the horror within. The grief. My baby. Our baby.
Then Brendan was there, looking down at me.
“She’s my queen,” Rumble said. The noise had stopped, all except for a sobbing that I soon realised was coming from me. “I won’t let you harm her.”
“Harm her,” Brendan scoffed. “She’s hysterical, downing most of the court with just her pain. I need to calm her. There’s a chance. There’s still a chance.”
“They’ll come for her before Sadler recovers,” Rumble said.
“Then protect her,” Brendan said. “We’ll try to keep them away.”
“They’re high,” Rumble said. “All of them. Sick with her.”
“Yet you can stand her.”
“Too much human blood in me.”
Brendan brushed his hand against my cheek.
“Brendan,” I whimpered. “Brendan, look what he did.�
��
“It’s not over,” Brendan said firmly. “Your luck hasn’t run out yet.” He brushed his hands across my eyes. “Sleep, Cara Kelly. Sleep and dream happy dreams. Let go of the pain, Cara Kelly, sleep and heal. And please, forgive us.”
Chapter Twenty-One
When I woke up, I couldn’t move. I tried to throw out my arms and fight whatever was holding me in place, but it was no use.
“Hush,” someone whispered. “Calm down. You’re safe. I’m here.”
I opened my eyes to see my tower room, but it was brighter. New lanterns hung on the walls. I was tucked into my bed so tightly, I couldn’t move my limbs until Anya loosened the sheets.
“Why are you here?” I tried to say, but the words wouldn’t come out as the memories flooded back. I sat up, panicking.
“The baby lives, and the bleeding has stopped.” She pulled the blankets away. “I kept you still so you wouldn’t put any more stress on your body. I’ll get you something to drink.”
She brought me a cup of water. I gratefully took a sip.
“The midwife will be here soon.”
“Why?” I croaked.
“She comes every day.”
“Every… day?”
“You’ve been asleep for a long time,” she said. “Four days. Brendan sent you under to keep you calm. But the midwife said it was time to let you wake up.”
“Four?” I carefully sat up a little straighter. “The baby’s okay?”
“I promise you, the baby survived.”
I rubbed my belly. “Then Sadler’s lucky.”
Her eyes widened. “Don’t. You’re lucky he didn’t have you beheaded. You know what he did to his last wife, and he loved her. You blinded him in one eye, Cara. It was very brave and incredibly stupid. You’re the talk of the realm.” She smiled. “But then again, you already were, even before that.”
I wanted to weep. “I should never have come here, Anya. I should have stayed in the human realm. I would have had to protect her, but I’ve just brought the baby into the mouth of the worst kind of danger. How could I be so naïve?”
She stroked my arm. “You did what you thought was best. You had no idea it would turn out this way. Nobody did.”
“Where is everyone? Are we locked in? Is—”
“Calm down. The courts left. Sadler wanted no one around to see his weakness. He’s been in his room, crying over his dead wife. I heard the servants talking. He’s a madman. You need to be more careful.”
“But why are you here? You little idiot!”
“I couldn’t leave you alone. I’m the only one who could have come, the only one he might have allowed.”
“You’re supposed to be getting married.”
“I’ve waited this long.” She patted my hand. “Arlen knows I’m not marrying him without you by my side. You need me. They don’t know anything here. Not how to take care of you. Besides, they’re too cowardly to do a thing on your behalf.”
“Like I said,” I whispered. “You’re an idiot.”
“No. I’m your friend. Your family. You saved me, and now I’m going to help you get out of here. When does Sadler leave the castle?”
I frowned. “He hasn’t since I’ve arrived. He doesn’t go anywhere. There’s no way I can escape this.”
“Perhaps when you give birth, there’ll be a chance.”
I grabbed her hands. “I’m going to die as soon as they take the baby from me. You have to do everything they say and make sure it’s you who looks after the baby. They won’t love the baby, Anya. They won’t know how, but you’ll be able to run with her. I need to know my baby will grow up loved.”
“You’re not going to die.”
“Promise me.”
She blinked a couple of times. “I promise you that I will love your child as you would, if you are unable.”
I blew out a sigh of relief. “Thanks.”
“I’m going to get you some soup and see what’s keeping the midwife.”
She left me alone. I stood, still shaky, and moved to the window. The sky was dark and cloudy, but the gardeners were still working hard. One stopped to wipe his brow and spotted me. He waved, looking almost happy to see me, then he turned and said something to the others. They, too, stopped what they were doing to wave up at me. I waved back, a little unsure of myself.
“What are you doing out of bed?”
I whirled around to see the midwife storm into the room.
“Bedrest,” she said. “Bed. Rest. You get one hour a day to move, so you mustn’t waste it on gaping out of windows and waving at the Lady knows who.”
I walked back to the bed and sat down. “My baby’s alive.”
“A fighter you have there.” A smile twitched at her lips. “You both should be dead, by rights. Like mother, like daughter, I see.”
I rubbed my arms as I remembered the pain. I could have been killed on the spot when I attacked Sadler. If it wasn’t for Rumble…
“Take it easy.” She made me lie back on the bed. “We need to reach full term. Best chance we have of survival. All of this stress and ridiculousness has to stop, I told him. You need to be taken care of.” She gave me a sharp look as she drew the blanket up to my chin. “It’s a good thing you were gifted a pixie, but be careful of them. They can be devious.”
“She’s different.” I stared at the ceiling. “Am I in trouble?”
“Not any more than usual. You’re to be allowed to walk the grounds whenever you feel like it, but do not overdo it. You’ve been through so much already that it would be a shame if you lost now.”
“What happens if I make like a summer wife and lose my mind? What happens to the baby?”
“We’ll force you to eat, clean you, and take the baby from you when you give birth.”
“So pretty much nothing changes.”
“Ah, whisht. Enough of that. You don’t want to go depressing yourself. Between the hormones and everything else. Have you eaten yet?”
I shook my head. “Anya’s gone to get me something.”
“Eat slowly but frequently. We need to put on some weight soon.” She patted my cheeks. “And we need some colour here. I’ll be back tomorrow to take a look at you. Try to remember if the baby moves today.”
As if I could forget. All I had done since I’d woken up was to wait for the baby to move.
She left me alone. The key didn’t turn. Curious, I went to the door and peeked out. No guards stood in the hall. I went back inside, feeling strange with the freedom of it.
When Anya returned with soup, I ate a few spoonfuls.
“Why is nobody locking the door?” I asked.
“Sadler hasn’t ordered anyone to do it, so they’ve all stopped.”
“So I can just… walk around the castle? And outside?”
“You weren’t able to do that before?” She sighed. “No, I suppose you weren’t. I’ll make sure you can do those things. You needn’t worry. Nobody has seen Sadler come out of his room since… you know.”
“Did I really blind him?”
She nodded.
“He deserved it. I should have stabbed him through the heart instead.”
She didn’t reply.
I looked at her. “Don’t tell me I did the wrong thing. He’s a monster.”
“Is there anything I can bring you? Don’t think about the bad… things.”
I nodded. “I just want to sleep a bit, I think. Or you could talk to me. About what I’ve been missing.”
She went to the door and looked out into the hall. When she sat down again, she lowered her voice. “I’ve been kept out of the loop in case they tortured me for information.”
“What?”
“Quiet! Just in case. They didn’t expect it to happen. I’m a pixie. Worthless. When you vanished, everyone was in an uproar. We didn’t know how it happened until we realised that Ronnie was gone, too.”
“Vix was waiting for us outside in a carriage. Ronnie got me to follow her. I was trying to keep her
safe. More fool me.”
“Brendan almost lost his mind. He assumed you were dead already. He went straight to Drake and forced him to face Sadler with him.”
“Drake didn’t want to?” Why did that have to hurt so much? I had already heard him say worse.
“He didn’t want to discuss anything with Sadler. He wanted to bring armies, start a war. Brendan showed him how stupid a move that would be. That’s probably what Sadler really wanted.”
“He wants my baby. Drake’s the father, Brendan named her his heir, and now Sadler will own her.”
“When they told me he married you, I threw up,” she said. “Realtín cried for days. Brendan refused to let her and Grim come here. He knew something terrible would happen if they did. Sadler knew what he was doing. We’ve been so worried. We knew he would hurt you, but what he did… has that been happening regularly?”
I shrugged. “He’s crazy. And addicted. After everyone arrived, we were in his room, and he was rolling around the floor like he was out of his head, along with that stupid doctor. He’s the one I should have stabbed.”
“Cara…” She hesitated. “The things he said… I’m sorry to ask if you don’t want to discuss it, but has he been forcing you into his bed, too?”
“He hasn’t touched me like that. I disgust him. He tried to make me stay in the bed while he was having sexy time with some poor faery. He hurt her, and I left. I slept in the hallway. She was covered in bruises when she left, but I haven’t seen her since. He’s an awful person. I’ve been trying to wind him up, though.”
“Oh, we’ve heard. Green hats and rainbow wings.”
I huffed. “Don’t forget the body paint.”
“What were you thinking? Bekind’s right. You must have a death wish.”
“When I wasn’t noticed, they forgot about me, kept me locked up without food or anything. I had to cause a stir to survive. If he was half mad before, I probably drove him all the way. I just… I feel bad for the people here, Anya. They’re hungry and tired and scared. They’re not evil, but Sadler is a psychopath.”
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