by Rue Volley
“Open your mouth.”
I leaned back as she approached my mouth with the toast in hand.
“No.”
“I will hold you down and make you eat this, woman.”
I shook my head. “Abigail,” she said with a stern tone.
I lifted my hand, and she slapped it away.
“Open up.”
I parted my lips and she shoved the edge of the toast into my mouth. I took a bite and chewed. It’s funny how amazing buttered toast tastes when you are on a hunger strike.
I swallowed, and she made me take another bite. I chewed and swallowed again. I snatched the toast from her and finished it, quickly following it up with a few big swigs of the orange juice. I wiped my lips with the back of my hand and leaned back on the couch.
“Happy now?”
She grinned. “Get up.”
“I’m good.”
She laughed, standing up and pulling my hand up with her. I reluctantly stood up, she placed her hands on my face and stared into my eyes.
“Take a shower and get dressed.”
“Where is my mom?”
“Abi, take a shower and get dressed.”
I bit my lip. “Why do I feel like you’ll ground me if I don’t?”
“Because I will, young lady,” she said quietly, the hug that followed felt so comforting.
I let the hot water run over me. The steam caked the inside of the shower and it clouded the glass. I let my head fall forward, the water ran down my face and off of my chin. I sighed. Flashes of Jack’s hands slowly caressing me infiltrated my mind.
I pressed my hand against the wall and spread my fingers out, beating back his memory. I knew that there was a chance that what we had at the secluded mansion would be it. That would be where the story may end for us.
I think that I knew it from the moment he appeared in the chapel, untill the moment he said goodbye to me as I boarded the jet.
Knowing something and accepting it, are two different things.
The truth about him, what he was, what he is to me, had changed me forever. I knew that the only real recovery would be as Sam had said. To let him go.
I just couldn’t.
I balled my fist and hit the wall as I cried. It angered me to feel this way. Coming home had been so pleasant at first, but life has a way of twisting and turning without a moment’s notice. Forcing me down any path that it chooses.
I wanted the one that housed our tree, with our initials on it.
The one that said FOREVER MINE.
I heard the door open, and Avery’s voice called out to me.
“Babes?”
“Yeah?” I said as I opened my eyes and let the water wash the tears from my face.
“Let’s go.”
I shut the water off and opened the door, stepping out onto the soft mat below me. She wrapped me in a white towel. I looked down and then back up to her.
“You will be a great Mom, some day.”
She smiled. “Thanks, let’s get you dressed.”
I nodded. She was determined to pull me out of this, and I didn’t have the strength to fight her.
We walked the field for quite some time. Avery let her hand glide over the top of the tall grass. The sun saturated the blue sky, clouds were scattered around like cotton candy and stretched off into the distance. The temperature was rising, but the breeze made it tolerable.
A slow wind whipped across the field and captured the grass, making it sway back and forth, like a sea of green. The fresh smells permeated the air all around us. Avery stopped and turned to look at me after being quiet for longer than she ever had been before.
She reached out and took my hand, turning my wrist and inspecting the cut. Her eyes lifted to meet my own.
“Tell me why you did this, honey.”
I took a slow breath and wanted to make sure that I chose my words carefully. I couldn’t bear to lose her like I had lost Sam. It would kill me.
“I got drunk, I went to the cemetery to talk to dad and I had a bottle of wine with me.”
“Go on.”
“I—I heard laughter, so I hid behind a gravestone and then I saw them. It was a couple, dressed in black. The girl was running and the boy, well, he was running after her. He caught up to her, and she turned, wrapping her arms around his neck and he kissed her. I know that it may sound crazy, and maybe it is, but they looked like Jack and Rose. I stepped out, with the bottle in my hand and stumbled. I dropped it, and it shattered on the walkway.”
She leaned down, egging me on to continue. “Then what happened, Abi?”
“I—I called him Jack and when I looked down the wine looked like blood. I knelt down and picked up a piece of the broken glass and cut the side of my wrist and then I tasted it. I tasted the blood.”
She bit her lip and then relaxed it. “Why did you do that?”
I looked up at the sky and then back to her. “I don’t know. I guess it made me feel closer to him.”
“So it wasn’t you wanting to die like some modern day Juliet, right?”
I shook my head, narrowing my eyes. My brow crinkled. “No, of course not. I didn’t want to die.”
She hugged me. Her body shook as she cried. I placed my hands on her back and held onto her. I felt so terrible for what I put her through. My desperate act to feel the passion that Jack evoked in me had blinded me to everything else.
It blinded me to my mom, Sam, and Avery. It blinded me to how it made them feel. I felt the shoe slip onto the other foot, and I squeezed her harder.
“You suck,” she said quietly through the tears.
I nodded my head. “I do, I’m so sorry. Of course, I didn’t want to die. I never wanted to die.”
She backed up and wiped her cheek. She grabbed my open hand and pulled me along until we reached a large tree with hundreds of shoes thrown into it. I held my hand up and blocked the sun as I stared up at it.
“This thing is still here?” I asked.
She grinned, letting my hand go and sitting down in the grass. She started to take her shoes off, so I joined her.
She undid one and then the other. I took mine off too. She reached out and took my right shoe and tied the laces together with her left shoe. Then she did the same with the other two shoes. She stood up and handed me a set that contained one of her shoes and one of mine. She took the other pair in her hands.
“I talked to your mom. She said that this is called a wishing tree. But I think we should make a pact, right here, right now—to never leave each other. To be friends forever in this life, into the next one. We can call it a promise tree. Deal?”
I nodded to her, and she closed her eyes. “I Promise to always be your friend.” She said and then she reared back. She chucked the pair of shoes high into the tree, and they hit it, falling a little bit until they caught on a small branch. She slapped her hands together, turning to me and waving one hand toward the tree.
“Promise me, Abi.”
I looked down at the shoes in my hand. I laughed. “You love this pair of shoes.”
She leaned toward me. “But, I love you more.”
I nodded to her and closed my eyes. “I promise.” I whispered. I tossed the shoes high into the air. They hit the tree and fell for a little longer than Avery’s had. I thought maybe they would miss every branch on the way down and end in failure, but they finally caught a small branch and stopped. I eyed them as Avery took my hand into hers. We stood there before that tree in silence, friends now and forever.
CHAPTER TWENTY
THAT BRAD
__________________________
“If you dare me, I will. I swear,” Avery said as she laughed and bumped against my side. We both stared up at the ride. It was one of those crazy machines that would pull you up high and then drop you toward the ground on bungee cords. The lake festival was in full swing and tons of people had gathered in town—some tourists, and some old residents who had returned to visit family. The festival lasts for six
weeks and it was nearing the end.
I was glad that I had agreed to come. It served as a great distraction. Sam was weighing on my mind. His anger, his words. He had never spoken to me like that before. It was hurtful and yet I forgave him. I just wasn’t sure if he could forgive me.
I could understand his concern, but it wasn’t what he thought that it was. His stubborn nature was ruining any chances that we may have at retaining our friendship. His inability to love me as a friend was blinding him to what I felt for Jack. It also blinded him to the reality of the situation.
I wasn’t a prisoner. I wasn’t being forced to do anything. I wasn’t brainwashed or obsessed, broken, or emotionally compromised.
I’m in love. Simple as that.
His idea of what that should be was his own, as is mine. As I know that it is with Jack.
And then there was Jack, Rose, and his family, all of it weighed heavy on my heart. The day and night that I spent with him at that beautiful mansion, taking me out of the ordinary and transplanting me into the extraordinary. It haunted me now. Seemed like a dream and I didn’t want it to fade.
It couldn’t fade. I wouldn’t allow it to. Not this time.
That was Jack Landon to a tee. I was waiting him out this time, but I was growing impatient, it wouldn’t last as long as it had before. He muttered the words. He gave me that gift, and I wouldn’t allow him to take it back from me.
I bit my lip. She laughed. “Do it,” I said. She let go of my hand and ran toward it, giving two tickets to the man who operated the ride. I stepped back, watching him strap her in. I had yet to tell her anything about skydiving, the orgasm that I almost had while falling, or the unforgetable night at the mansion.
I guess I just wanted to be selfish with it for a little while longer. I wanted to keep it to myself, hold it dear. I wanted to own it all, well, everything but the following morning and his family’s arrival. I could have done without any of that. All of it confused me, and yet started to paint a clearer picture in my mind of just how destructive his family was to him.
As if his inherited condition from his father wasn’t enough.
I stepped back while watching her rise high above me. Then I bumped into someone. I turned to apologize and there he was. Brad.
“Oh, hey,” he said to me, his expression one I had never seen before. He always seemed so happy go lucky. He didn’t seem that way now, but I knew why.
“Hey.”
He touched my arm. “How are you, Abi?”
I looked down and then back up at Avery.
“I’m good, and you?”
He rubbed his neck. “I just—I’m sorry about the night on the bridge.”
I looked at him, to be quite honest I had almost forgotten about it. Everything from the cemetery on had voided out my entire visit and with good reason. It was so night and day, just as Jack’s appearance in my life had been from the beginning. He could stop the world all around me.
“Oh, why?” I asked.
He leaned up close to me. “I—I didn’t know you would take it so hard.”
I shook my head and then it hit me. He thought that what had happened had to do with him. Oh my God. No.
“Umm, we’re cool. I swear. I have no problem with you at all.”
“I know that I didn’t call after that and all, but, I just wanted to give you some space.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help myself. “Come on.” I grabbed his arm and drug him along with me until we stopped in front of the shooting gallery. I handed him the shotgun and smiled.
“I want that ridiculously large bear that’s hanging up there, get me that, and we’re even-steven. Cool?”
He grinned. “Oh hell yeah, I got this.”
He lifted the gun and started to shoot, he was good at it, of course. I expected him to be. Anyone from the Midwest usually knew how to handle a gun and had hunted at some point in their lives. He was obviously no exception to the rule.
I looked up and saw Avery waving at me. Then she dropped, her blood-curdling scream made me close my eyes. I spread my fingers and peeked through two of them as she shot back up, still screaming bloody murder. She bounced a couple of more times, and I heard the siren go off behind me.
Brad had delivered.
The man handed him the bear, and he turned and waved a paw at me. I smiled. He walked up to me and gave me the bear, it was so large that I could barely see over it.
“Okay. Friends,” I said, extending a hand to him and he shook it. I heard Avery’s voice behind me as she ran up to us.
“Did you see that? That was insane!” she yelled, suddenly stopping and ignoring the huge bear in my arms. Her eyes went right to man bun.
“Oh damn. Hello, you,” she said, stepping up and holding out her hand. He grinned as she took it. She just held his hand there, looking at the tattoos on his arms.
“You have some amazing tattoos.”
I spoke, but it wasn’t about me at all. “Avery, Brad. Brad, Avery.”
The attraction was instantaneous. I wasn’t shocked.
“Abi, you didn’t mention this fine man.”
I laughed. “This is man bun, Brad.”
“Man bun,” he said as he laughed under his breath.
Her eyes widened. “Oh, that Brad.”
I nodded to her.
“Well now,” she added, looking him over.
Brad smiled. “I hope that Abi was nice when she talked about me.”
Avery nodded. “Oh you bet, I mean what’s to complain about here?”
He tilted his head. She let his hand go. “So, where did you get that work done? I have been thinking about getting something,” she added, completely out of the blue, but so like her.
I bumped her from the side. She had never mentioned wanting a tattoo to me.
“Oh, well, I used to go to this guy back home, but now I go to the shop downtown, it’s called The Ink Well.”
“Well, they do great work, but look at what they have to deal with, right?” she looked at me and then back to him. She touched his arm. Watching her flirt was like an art form. I missed it, and her.
“Well, the guy is great, light hand and the ink stays. If you ever—”
She cut him off. “I do. I mean, I would, how about now?”
He looked at me and then back to her. “Well they stay open late sometimes. I would have to call.”
She waved a hand. “Nah, downtown is close, right? Let’s walk.”
I adjusted the bear in my arms. She winked at me. “Right? Let’s just go see if they’re open.”
I raised an eyebrow and Brad was unable to deny her like most people were. Her tenacity was hard to beat back. I know, I had tried for years.
“Okay, yeah, come on.”
He started to walk, and she skipped up next to him. She waved a hand at me, and I tagged along. I had no choice in the matter. It was now a double date. Her and Brad, me, and the overstuffed bear.
I sat in the black chair with the large teddy bear next to me. I glanced at him, as he sat in his chair, filling it up. I let my chin rest on my hands. I tapped the heels of my black and white chucks together.
I looked up at the walls and checked out all of the incredible artwork. I had never been in here because the thought of a tattoo had never crossed my mind. But now it intrigued me.
I stood up and walked along the wall, studying each one. The lines so perfect, the colors so vibrant. It was like being in an art museum, and by all rights, it was.
Avery stood at the counter with Brad as they looked through a book. She laughed, he smiled. The connection had been made. Avery was easy to get along with, she always had been. She was able to adapt to any situation. It wasn’t that she lied, she was always true to herself and maybe that’s why she always fit in.
I stopped when I saw a picture of a birdcage hanging from a branch. The door was open, a black bird sat inside. It’s back faced the door, making it oblivious to its ability to break free, or the bird didn’t care.
I knew that I sat in a cage with Jack, but he didn’t place me there. I did. He left the door open and let me roam. I could come and go as I pleased. Which I had and still do.
I reached up and touched the glass, tracing the long branches that reached out to the side, then tracing the cage itself, and finally resting on the open door. The picture was a sketch, hand drawn, black ink. Not one spec of color in it. I loved it.
I heard the man at the counter as he approached Avery and Brad.
“Hey, man. How are you?”
Brad reached out, and they did some secret handshake that started with a weird fingering and ended with a fist bump.
“So, more work?” he asked.
Brad shook his head and looked at Avery.
“She wants to get one.”
The man looked at Avery and grinned. “Do you have any tats?”
She nodded and held her wrist up so that he could see it. He looked at the lettering that spelled out Love in cursive. “Nice work.”
Avery looked at it and grinned. She touched her wrist and looked back up at him.
“It’s all that I have, but I love it.”
“Did you only get the one done?”
Avery bit her lip. “I want to get the word ‘true’ on the other wrist, when I get married, of course—way down the road, in a galaxy far, far away.”
Brad rubbed his neck and laughed. I did too.
The man looked at me. “So, do you want some work done too?”
I shook my head, glancing back at the picture of the branch and the birdcage. “Oh no. I’m just the designated third wheel.”
He winked at me. “Been there.” He looked at Brad and they both laughed.
“That’s my work.”
I looked at the picture and then back at him. “It’s beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
He looked at Avery and tapped the glass counter top. “So, what did you want to get today?”
Avery smiled. “Well, I was thinking more of a piercing, you do those, right?”
His eyebrow rose, and he smirked. “Well yeah, where would you like to get pierced?”
