Blue 42 (Hail Mary Duet Book 1)

by C. A. Rene

  “Dani?” Dixon says as he peers around the door.

  I don’t stop and when she struggles to get up, I push her head even harder into the surface of the desk.

  “Sebastian,” Dixon breathes, watching me pound my cock into his girlfriend, “what the fuck are you doing?”

  I raise my brow and ignore Dani’s protests, the sound of our slapping flesh echoing inside the office. I don’t bother to answer because that’s rhetorical, right? I curl my fingers into her hair and lift her head, making her face Dixon.

  “Tell him you want this.”

  “Dixon,” she sobs his name.

  I pull on her hair, feeling some strands give away under my harsh grip, and she whimpers. “Tell him.”

  “I wanted it.” She whispers and Dixon’s eyes widen.

  “Your girlfriend is a whore.” I tell him as I slam her head back down.

  “Whoa,” his brows crash together, “you’re hurting her.”

  “I know,” I pick up my speed, my thrusts becoming harder, and her hip bones are banging off the edge of the desk. She’ll have bruising tomorrow. “This is the way I fuck, Dixon. Ain’t that right?” I slam inside her and curl my body over hers. “I asked you a question.”

  “Yes,” her voice shakes.

  “Why am I here?” Dixon asks her but she can’t tell he’s asking her, so I answer.

  “I sent you that message.”

  His jaw clenches and his hands tighten into fists, “for?”

  “So, you could see who she really wants.”

  “And what do you want, Seb?” he takes a step forward. Seb. “How about you pull out of her or I’ll show her exactly what it is you want.”

  I pull out of her, my cock wet with the evidence of how much she enjoyed it, regardless of her crying, and step back. She stands and pulls her skirt down, looking over her shoulder at me with accusation in her eyes. I raise my brow, my dick still out, and give her a wink.

  “Get out.” Dixon demands and she grins at me. “Dani.” He clarifies and she gasps.

  “Dixon, wait.” She tries and he raises his hand, shutting her up.

  “This wasn’t working anyway, get out. I need to talk to Sebastian.” Back to Sebastian.

  Dani grabs her purse and shoves past Dixon, his eyes never leaving mine. When the door shuts behind her, he takes a few steps forward, and stops on the other side of the desk.

  “I’m here, now what?” he asks.

  “My dick is covered in her pussy juice,” I taunt him, running a finger along its length, and popping it in my mouth. “Mm.”

  “I know what her pussy tastes like,” he snorts.

  “Oh yeah?” I tip my head to the side, “so, I guess you wouldn’t mind cleaning it off of me.”

  He looks thoughtful for a few moments but then comes around the desk and looks down at my cock. He licks his lips, “I could. Tell me that’s what you want.”

  He wants me to hand him the control, making me admit this is what I want, and taking the reins. My natural reaction is to refuse him and force him to do what I want, but Dixon won’t let that happen again, and I really want his mouth around me. I swallow down my pride and give him a nod.

  “Tell me.” He leans forward, his mouth close to mine, “use your fucking words.”

  I bare my teeth and growl, “I want you to suck my cock, now.” That’s as good as it’s going to get and he beams, knowing how hard that was for me.

  He drops to his damn knees and I groan, almost shooting cum all over his face. I’ve wanted this for so long and now to finally have it, I don’t know how to make it last. I want it to be ingrained in my memory perfectly because I don’t know what will happen afterward.

  His hands land on my hips and he leans forward, his tongue licking along my head. We both moan and my cock jerks against his chin. I want to tell him to stop because once this is done, I’m afraid it’ll be over between us, and I can’t imagine that. Before I can even protest, he opens his mouth wide, and swallows me down in one shot. My cock hits his throat and he gags, the constriction forcing me to grit against the sensation to come. He pulls back and I watch as a string of his salvia stretches from my head to his lip, making me almost lose my footing. I grip the desk and pant as he sucks on the tip, paying close attention to the ridged underside.

  “How is my cleaning?” he grins up at me and I shut my eyes. It’s all too much, him on his knees, and his eyes looking up through his thick lashes.

  He once again sucks my length into his mouth, his hand working what his mouth isn’t, and I can’t control the sensations that swim up my cock.

  “Dixon,” I pant, “I’m going to come.”

  He moans around my cock and I grab his head with both of my hands, shoving myself deeper into his throat. He moans and it sets off fireworks behind my eyelids as I come, forcing him to take all of me. My cum shoots down his throat and like a good boy, he swallows it without complaint.

  I pull back and watch as he sucks in a lungful of air, my cock now glistening with his saliva. I instantly miss him and I know it sounds insane, but I feel like he’s already gone. I pull up my shorts and he stands up, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. It’s done and I feel deserted, my heart crashing in my chest. I haven’t felt this way before and it scares me.

  He turns on his heel and heads for the door, opening it without a backward glance. He’s gone, just like I figured he would be, and I lean both hands on the desk in front of me. I have never felt such a feeling of loss, not even when my mother died, and not when a few of my boys were killed. This is something new entirely and the heartbreak is confusing.

  The heartbreak is so fucking painful.

  Dixon

  I can’t believe that just happened.

  I rush through the locker room, grabbing up my things, and bypassing the shower. I was in the middle of my weight training when Dani texted me and I can’t finish it now, I need to leave. I just sucked Sebastian’s dick. I just sucked a man’s dick and I enjoyed it. I’m still hard, fucking solid, and I know it’s not going anywhere until I take care of it. This is nothing like sex with Dani, my erection is going nowhere, and I am once again propelled into immense confusion.

  I thought I had this sorted out, that Sebastian was a weird phase, and my lack of proper friendships was the problem. I don’t think that’s true, not after today, and not after swallowing his cum like it was my last meal. There’s nothing about what I did that’s confusing, it was gay, and it was unforgettable. I am gay for Sebastian Avando and no one else. He’s ruined me for women and yet, he’s ruined me for himself. He’s married and he has a child. I’m just a distraction and that breaks my damn heart. I have never had a broken heart and thought I was above it, that loving someone was something I had no time for.

  I rush to my car and get in, starting it up. I rest my forehead on the wheel, mentally berating myself for letting shit get this tangled, and knowing I’m at fault. He raped me and yet I got on my knees for him. What the fuck is wrong with me? I look up to put the car in drive when I see him. He’s standing at the stadium’s entrance, still in his shorts, and his bare chest moving rapidly. His breath coming out in puffs of white in the cold December air. We lock eyes and stare at each other, something huge transpired between us. There’s no going back and I don’t know what that means for me.

  I break the stare down and slam my car into drive, burning tires as I leave the parking lot. Thankfully, there’s no traffic and getting home takes minimal concentration. As I pull into my driveway, large fluffy snowflakes start hitting my windshield, and it’s the first snow of the season. As the flakes hit the window, they instantly melt, and the water runs down in tiny rivulets, transporting me into a memory.

  “Dixon!” Danny yells as he runs into our one room apartment, “it’s snowing!”

  I jump up from our mattress on the floor and run to stand beside him at the window, watching as the large puffs fall slowly from the sky.

  “Did you know that every snowflake is dif
ferent?” I ask him and he looks at me with confusion.

  “They look the same to me.”

  “I know,” I shake my head at him, “but close up they have their very own designs. No two snowflakes are alike.”

  “That’s impossible,” he waves me off. “Everything has its pair, like soulmates.”

  “You don’t know anything,” I roll my eyes and step away from him.

  “And you don’t know everything,” he retorts.

  “Are you hungry?” I pull out a pack of ramen noodles, the last one.

  “Can we go out and play instead?”

  He’s so small and I know he’s not eating enough, but I don’t want him to be sad either.

  “Okay, but then we come in and you eat.” I grab my jacket while he jumps up and down.

  The snow falls harder and thicker, pulling the memory away from me, and leaving me bereft. I miss my brother and I’ve been missing him long before he was murdered. I blink heavily and exhale, I’m still fucked up about Danny. I feel alone in my grief and maybe Sebastian helped me forget for a short time. That must be why I did what I did in Coach’s office. I need someone and I’m tired of being alone. Sebastian proved to me that Dani’s not that person, even though I already knew that, and maybe he was the next best thing.

  I get out of the car and head inside, the smell of fried chicken hitting me. I groan out loud, dropping my bag in the mud room, and heading into the kitchen. Ma is there in front of the eight-burner, industrial stove, and I feel hope that she’ll be okay, until she turns around. Her face has aged in the last few weeks and her hair is greyer. Her presence is constantly shrouded in sadness and her shoulders are slumped forward.

  “Hello son,” she tries to smile and fails, “I made your favorite.”

  It’s not my favorite, it was Danny’s, but I don’t dare tell her that. I don’t want to tip the delicate balance and shove her back into a depressive funk.

  “Thanks Ma.”

  “How was practice and your knee?” she looks at me worriedly.

  “It’s feeling great,” I lie. It doesn’t feel like it’s getting any better but I can’t put her through any more stress.

  “That’s good,” she nods and pulls me out a plate.

  Silence falls heavily around us in the backdrop of this gourmet kitchen I always wanted to give to her, and I begin to realize, I never knew my family well. The second I could, I left and pursued a dream, and even though it was filled with good intentions, I lost my family along the way. Ma and I used to talk about Danny, where he was, what he did at school, and the shit he was getting himself into on the regular. Now, we have nothing to chat about. She knows nothing about football and I know nothing about the church.

  After she serves me, she heads out of the kitchen without looking back, and my heart breaks some more. I don’t know how much of it is left to break. I look down at my plate just as a sob works its way up my throat, how can I eat this? I like fried chicken but Danny loved it and the longer I stare down at it, the guiltier I feel. I’m so filled with guilt and it’s threatening to consume me completely. I take the plate and put it in the oven, then head up to my room.

  I open the door and the first thing I remember is Dani laying on her back in my bed. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to shove it aside but again, the guilt works its way in. I don’t blame her for turning to Sebastian, especially if he was showing her attention because I didn’t give that to her, and I feel so terrible. She’s better off without me anyway, I don’t have feelings for her, and I don’t even know my sexuality anymore.

  I don’t know who I am anymore.

  Chapter thirty

  Sebastian

  I’ve been sitting outside his house for the last hour.

  This one has a gate and it locks, so unfortunately, I can’t let myself in. I can’t get him off my mind though and yet I can’t bring myself to call him. I don’t think he wants to talk to me and after what happened in Coach’s office, I know he’s going to go back to being elusive. I really didn’t think it would go that far, but I’m happy it did, and at the same time, he saw Dani for what she really was. A gold-digging whore.

  I grab my phone, fully prepared to call him, and instead it rings in my hand. When I see Delano’s name, I groan out loud, and nearly throw the phone to the backseat. Instead, I swipe it open, bringing it to my ear.

  “Yeah.”

  “We got trouble.” He says and I roll my eyes. When don’t we?

  “What now?”

  “Those little gang bangers we took out,” he huffs, “their leader is looking for them.”

  “Obviously.” I squeeze my fingers into my eyes. “We sent that video, D.”

  “I know but they are out for blood and they’re looking to get it.”

  “They can try.” I chuckle, “tell me you’re not worried about some small time Baltimore gang.”

  “I’m just filling you in so you know what’s up.” He explains.

  “Thanks, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.” I placate him and hang up the phone.

  Those guys got off easy for what they did to Little North and I don’t give a fuck about some little crew running around the Baltimore streets like they’re tough shit. I got other shit to worry about and one of them sucked the very soul out of me today. He fucking owns me and he doesn’t even realize it. Dixon North now owns what’s left of my soul.

  I know how this is going to go down, he’ll try to avoid what happened, and go back to pretending I don’t exist. The joke’s on him though, I’m not going anywhere, and I’m about to make him face what the fuck is going on between us. I don’t have an existential crisis about what’s happening because I know I’m not gay, and the only man I want is him. But it’s different, I don’t want him like I want a woman, and I’m not looking to fuck around every now and then. I plan on owning him, too.

  Maybe I need to make him face that before I give him too much time to force himself to forget. I swipe open my phone again and press his contact, listening to the rings. I would bet all my money right now that he’s staring at my name on his screen and debating whether he should pick up or not, I’m kind of hoping he doesn’t. I will unleash my crazy all over this street and laugh when he cries about it.

  “What do you want?” he growls into the phone and I pout. No crazy today.

  “Is it too soon to say another blowjob?”

  “I’m hanging up.” He snaps and I laugh.

  “You don’t want to do that, you live on a nice street.”

  “What the fuck are you doing on my street, Seb?” he yells but I barely hear it. Seb.

  “Open this gate and let me in or I will cause a fucking scene on your street, Dixon.”

  He’s quiet for a bit and I know he’s debating if I’m bluffing or not, I’m not. But he finally exhales and I watch the gates open, a wide smile stretching across my face. I pull through the metal bars as they widen and drive up his driveway. It’s a nice house and I’m happy he finally got his mother to come be with him. I wonder if I’ll meet her.

  I park the Hummer and get out just as he’s opening his front door and stepping on the porch.

  “What do you want?” His arms are crossed over his chest.

  “Nice house.”

  “I’m once again floored by your talent to find people.” He rolls his eyes.

  “Just you, North.” I can see the effort it’s taking for him to remain stoic, “are you going to show me around?”

  “Fuck no,” his eyes widen, “my mom is here.”

  “Great, we can finally meet.”

  “What?” He straightens, “are you stoned?”

  “I wish,” I shake my head. “I could fucking use it.”

  He stands there watching me, his arms still crossed over his chest, and his body language closed off. He’s trying hard to forget what happened today but I won’t let him. I step up onto the porch with him and he takes a step back, his arms dropping to his sides.

  “What are you doing?” he asks, lo
oking from me and up to the corner of the porch.

  I look up to the blinking red light and chuckle, stepping into him. He backs up and when his back hits the door, I’m on top of him. My chest presses against his and my hands land on either side of his head, our faces inches apart.

  “Does your mom watch the camera feed?” I ask him with a grin.

  “No,” he shakes his head, “I don’t think so-”

  My mouth swallows his words as I kiss him, it’s harsh, and it’s violent as I force my tongue between his lips. He groans and his hands land on my chest, pushing me away.

  “Stop.” His body is quaking.

  “No,” I grab his throat and lean in close, “I won’t let you pretend this isn’t happening. Now, let me inside or I will fuck you right here. The neighbors will find it interesting, I’m sure.”

  He slaps my hand off his throat and turns to open the door, looking at me over his shoulder, “you aren’t meeting my mom.”

  “Maybe not today.” I shrug and throw him a wink.

  He leads us up the stairs and to the left, opening a door. I step in behind him and I know right away it’s his room. It has that same sterile clean feeling as his old house had. Like he doesn’t live here. Dixon sits on his bed and watches me as I walk around his room, touching trophies and ribbons.

  “All star athlete huh?” I murmur and he scoffs behind me. “You didn’t have these out in your other house.” I realize all too late what I’ve admitted and I hear the rustle of his blankets as he stands quickly.

  “What did you say?” his voice vibrates in anger.

  Fuck. I can’t take it back or cover it in any way, so it looks like I’m admitting I went through his house. “I was there once.”

  “I would’ve remembered that, Sebastian.” Back to Sebastian.

  “Not if you weren’t there.”

  He grips my shoulder and forces me to face him, then his fist slams into my cheek. The surprise attack catches me off guard and I don’t get a chance to move when his fist sinks into my stomach. I bend over as the air whooshes from my chest and his knee comes up, connecting with my forehead. I’m knocked to my ass and my vision is blurry, but I can feel the rage exploding. All the pain is forgotten as I jump to my feet and grab the front of his shirt, throwing him down onto the bed. He tries to sit up but I punch him in the nose and he flies back, bouncing on top of his mattress.