Blue 42 (Hail Mary Duet Book 1)

by C. A. Rene

I pull back a few inches and hit him with my left fist, making him fall on the bed and away from the gun. “Why do you want to die?” I ask him and he stays motionless on the bed, “tell me,” I kick his leg, worried he’s passed out.

  “Because I hate it here.” So damn defeated and given up.

  I crawl over him, my gun still in my right hand, and press myself into his ass, “I can’t kill you, Dixon North.” I whisper in his ear.

  “Why not?” he mumbles and presses his ass against me.

  “Because I don’t want to be here without you, even though I hate it, too.” I admit and I hear his breath catch.

  “Use the fucking gun on me, Seb.” A sob catches in his chest. Seb.

  “Use the gun, huh?” I push myself up and pull down his track pants. He doesn’t fight me and when the cool metal of the gun barrel slips between his ass cheeks, he barely flinches. “Like this?”

  He doesn’t pull away and my heart begins to speed up, I like when he’s submissive like this. I continue thrusting the barrel between his ass cheeks, warming the metal, and then I press it into his ass. I watch as his hole widens and swallows up the tip of the gun, his back moving rapidly with his breaths.

  “Do you like how I’m using my gun?” I ask him and push in further. He moans at the intrusion and widens his legs.

  I take that as a yes and begin to fuck him hard with the gun, my hand hitting his flesh with my thrusts. His moans become louder and my cock is straining against my pants, desperate to take the gun’s place. I pull out the barrel and toss it onto the bed, yanking my pants down quickly. I spit onto my hand and rub it along my length, then line myself up.

  “We need to get lube.” I tell him as I thrust into him.

  “No, we don’t,” he grunts with the intrusion. “This isn’t a regular thing.”

  I grit my teeth at his words and punish his asshole instead, slamming into him forcefully. “Don’t talk shit,” I grunt and my eyes roll back into my head when he squeezes around me, “it’s already a regular thing.”

  “You’re fucking married,” he retorts but it loses its fire when he moans.

  I am married, there’s nothing I can say to defend my actions, and I won’t disrespect him by trying. If I tell him I’m married in name only, or that I have never fucked my wife, it’ll all sound like lies, and I don’t want to explain my situation. I’d rather he just thinks the worst of me, it’s not like my marital status is changing at any point, and I won’t lie.

  “Come for me.” I tell him and I continue to thrust into him, “come.”

  He begins to jack himself off onto the bed and I squeeze my eyes shut to try and hold off, but it’s no use. I watch as stars burst behind my eyelids and my mouth drops in a silent scream, my cum shooting inside Dixon. His groan follows right after and I keep myself seated inside of him as he comes undone.

  His body is shaking with the release and my cock is still pulsing inside of him. I pull out and stand up slowly, pulling my pants up. I grab my gun and tuck it away again, biting my lip when I watch Dixon stand up. He pulls up his pants and turns to face me, his eyes a mixture of confusion and despair. I don’t think as I grab him around the neck and drag him to me, wrapping my arms around him.

  He sobs into my neck as I hold him tight, I don’t know what to say to help him, but I do know how to comfort.

  Dixon

  “This is potent, North.” Jameson says as he hands me five syringes filled with a clear liquid. “You need to inject it into your knee about fifteen minutes before you want relief.”

  I nod and look up, finding Sebastian leaning against the lockers across from us. He looks pissed but he’ll have to get over it.

  “Let me know if you want more.” Jameson squeezes my shoulder.

  “Thanks, man.” I watch him head out to the field.

  Sebastian’s eyes follow him until he disappears and then he looks at me with anger.

  “What?” I ask him.

  “I don’t want him touching you,” he growls and I look at him with shock.

  “You’re seriously fucked up.” I shake my head.

  “When you want more of that,” he points to the syringes in my hands, “you ask me.” Then he pushes off the lockers and heads out to the field. He’s being ridiculous with the jealousy bit considering the fuck is still married. We have our game against the Patriots in a few days and I want to get onto that field to practice today.

  I take the top off the syringe and slowly insert it on the outer side of my kneecap, making sure to get underneath. When I depress the plunger, the cold liquid spreads inside, and I can feel it seeping through my knee. I wait ten minutes and the throbbing has already lessened to a dull ache. I stand up and put all my weight on it, it hurts but only a fraction of what it was before. I can work with this. I put the other syringes away in my bag and lock my locker, then jog out to the field. I feel rejuvenated and my knee has never felt better.

  I tap Coach on the shoulder and he looks at me closely, “what’s up North?”

  “I’m ready to go in.”

  “You sure?” he looks down to my knee. “Are you feeling up to it?”

  “Never better,” I smirk and he nods.

  “Zeal, North is in.” He calls out and Zeal hoots with excitement.

  Four hours later and my knee feels like it’s been put through a grinder. The pain has intensified and my thigh is now swollen as well. I long for the sauna but I know the heat won’t be good for the swelling. I throw on my clothes and skip the shower, I’d rather take it at home where no one can see the damage. I try not to limp as I leave the locker room and as I step out into the hallway, I come face to face with Dani.

  She opens her mouth to talk but I hold up my hand, “not now.”

  I try to move around her but she grabs my arm, her eyes boring into mine, “I am so sorry.”

  “Forgiven.” I shrug her off and continue my way out of the stadium.

  “That’s it?” she calls and I turn to look at her, “everything is fine?”

  “You and I were over long before that,” I shrug and turn my back on her again, “good luck Dani.”

  I don’t bother to wait and hear her reaction because my knee feels like it’s three times it’s actual size. All in all, it was worth it, I couldn’t sit on that bench another practice and I need to be in for the game this weekend. There was no other option. After this game, I’ll take some time off and let it heal.

  I hop into the car and hiss when the pain radiates into my groin. It just needs ice and some rest. When I get home, I see Ma’s car in the driveway and my heart sinks into my stomach. It’s been four days since she left and I have no idea where she went. I was worried she’d never come back and seeing her car means we’ll have to talk about what happened.

  I get out, wincing when the pain becomes worse, and limp to my front door. It opens before I can get up the steps and Ma rushes forward to grab my arm.

  “What have you done, son?” She sounds worried and I hate that I’m causing her more.

  “Just a rough practice, the doctor said it would act up as it healed.” I lie. “When did you get back?” I ask as we step inside and close the door.

  “I shouldn’t have left Dixon, but I’m so far away from Danny, and I just needed to see him.”

  “You’ve been gone for days, where did you stay?” I ask her as I make my way to the kitchen to grab my ice pack.

  “With one of the ladies from work,” she answers, looking nervous.

  “Okay, Ma.” I nod and walk by her to go to my room. “I’m glad you’re back.”

  “Me too.” She whispers behind me but I don’t look back.

  Chapter thirty-two

  Dixon

  The liquid spreads throughout my knee and the cooling effect is instantaneous. Seb keeps watching me with his eyes narrowed and his arms crossed, like the hypocrite he is. I know he does drugs, I’ve seen it, and I know he suffers from the last concussion still. He’s self medicating to get by as well, so he shouldn�
��t judge me.

  “I need more,” I tell him without looking up, flexing my leg, and moaning when the pain subsides.

  “You’re always going to need more.” He retorts and I stand, getting in his face.

  “Don’t even stand there and judge me.” I poke my finger into his chest.

  He grabs it and sucks it into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the tip. I’m hard in a split second and I can think of nothing else but having his mouth on my cock.

  “You can’t use this forever,” he says when he pops my finger out of his mouth, “and your knee will only get worse.”

  “I need it for this season, that’s it.” I say, my voice husky with need.

  “Too long,” he rasps and his other hand cups my swollen cock, squeezing it through my shorts.

  I fall forward into him and my forehead hits his, the pleasure seemingly too much. He releases my finger and cups my cheek, pulling me in so he can suck on my bottom lip. He presses his cock between us and I groan into his mouth, wanting him inside me. He chuckles against my lips when I begin to whimper, the need coursing through me is almost too much, and his hand moves from my cock to my ass. He gives it a squeeze, bringing me in closer, and pressing our cocks together.

  He slips beneath my shorts and runs his fingers down my crack, stopping at my asshole. He pushes a finger inside and begins to fuck me with it, watching my face closely.

  “Fuck, Seb.” I pant.

  “Dixon?” Dani’s voice calling into the locker room has us flying apart and I nearly pass out from the fear surging through me.

  Sebastian rolls his eyes and falls back against the lockers, crossing his arms again. “Looks like your girl wants in on our action now.” He grins.

  “Shut up,” I snarl at him and head towards her voice. She’s standing at the locker room entrance and her face is a bit pale, her eyes wide. “What’s up? Is everything okay?”

  “I’m late.” She whispers and I swear I hear a snort behind me.

  “For?”

  “My period.” She huffs and it dawns on me what she’s trying to say.

  “And you’re telling me… because?”

  “Because I was only with you.” She grits through her teeth.

  “Not from what I saw,” I retort, adding, “I wore protection.” And the second time, I didn’t even come. But I don’t tell her that.

  “You need to face this and when you’re ready, we’ll talk,” then she storms off towards her father’s office and slams the door.

  “That bitch is crazy,” I turn at Seb’s voice.

  “It’s probably yours.” I snarl and he laughs.

  “It could be anyone’s and you know I didn’t come in her that day.”

  No, he didn’t, I swallowed everything he had that day. The memory makes my hard cock jump in my shorts and I wonder if Dani noticed I was sporting an erection while talking to her. I follow Seb out to the field and drive Dani from my mind, if she is actually pregnant, I know the kid isn’t mine.

  Practice is good and I feel amped for the game tomorrow, playing against one of the teams I’ve looked up to for so long. The feeling only lasts until I get home and the pain crashes in on me worse than ever. Walking is impossible and I hop to my front door, praying my mother doesn’t see me like this. She’ll freak and call Coach. How do I explain to him that I’m fine during practices and then I come home like this?

  Thankfully, I hear her in the kitchen cooking and when she calls out to me, I tell her I’m going for a soak. I make it upstairs but just barely and I have tears coursing down my face because the pain is too fucking much. I fall on my bed and decide not to move for the rest of the night. I take out my phone and message Seb, telling him to have more for me tomorrow because one won’t cut it.

  Sebastian

  I find Dixon in his car the next morning with sweat pouring off his face and breathing rapidly. When I come up to the driver’s side, I see the used syringe, and groan into my fist. I knew this would happen and using Toradol to mask the pain will only make it worse. He used me as an example for self medicating but my head is different from his knee.

  I tap on the window and he doesn’t even look to see who it is as he lowers it, “I’m good.” He pants and I growl at him.

  “No, you’re not.” I toss in a bag with five more syringes. “That’s all you’ll get. After the game tonight, you’re going to the hospital.”

  “No,” he sits up and winces, “don’t Seb, I can deal with this.”

  “I’ll be taking you there myself.” I tap on the hood of his car and then I stride back to the stadium. I can’t see him like that, it reminds me too much of my addict mother, and I get the feeling I’m about to be abandoned again.

  I swallow it down because Dixon isn’t mine and if he wants to leave, he can. Doesn’t mean I won’t find him though and he knows I would, I’m damn good at it. With that thought, I forget my mommy issues, and head back inside. It’s fucking frigid outside and Christmas is right around the corner. In a few days, I will be watching my little girl open Barbie dollhouses and nail things, I can’t wait.

  We’re playing in the snow, my favorite time to play football, and we’re up by a touchdown. Dixon has been on fire and on his third syringe of the day, I wasn’t joking, I will be taking him to the ER later.

  It’s the last quarter and Dixon is looking a bit green, his knee is at least twice the size it should be. I pray he makes it to the end but I can see him declining quickly. Zeal calls out the play and Dixon takes off, nobody else notices but I see the slight limp in his run. He’s not nearly as fast either. He skips to the side to avoid a tackle and I watch as he slips and lands on that leg, knowing what comes next.

  The scream that tears through his throat is filled with pain and I watch as the game is paused, medics running to the field. It’s the worst possible thing I wanted to happen but at least I can be assured he’s on the way to the hospital, just like I wanted.

  The rest of the game is spent with me worrying about Dixon and we end up losing by a few points. It’s the Patriots and honestly, we’re happy we weren’t pounded into the dirt. A few points loss is not bad. I get to the locker room and Dixon is gone, just like I knew he would be. That knee was looking way worse than the first time he injured it and I’m kind of pissed Coach didn’t care to check it out. I get that Dixon is his own man but coaches are there to guide and make sure we’re doing well. He throws piss tests but that’s about it.

  I change quickly and leave the stadium, getting in my Hummer. I drive to the hospital and when I get in the nurses tell me he’s in x-ray but I can wait in his room for him. He’ll be admitted for at least the night. All good things. I go to the room they tell me and when I walk inside, I see his mother sitting on one of the beds. She sees me and I know it’s too late to back out.

  “Hi there,” she gives me a once over and a smile. “Are you a friend of Dixon’s?”

  “Yes ma’am,” I step forward and hold out my hand. “Sebastian, I’m a teammate.”

  “You must be more than that to come by.” She smiles and my heart begins to pound. Maybe I should’ve just called instead. “He’s in x-ray and will be back soon.”

  “Sounds good,” I nod, “would you like a coffee?” I need to get out of this room. The way she’s looking at me is like she knows everything I’ve done to her son. Both willing and non. I hope I’m just being paranoid.

  “No, thank you.” She just keeps smiling and it’s creeping me out.

  I turn quickly and leave the room, rushing down to a set of elevators. I press the buttons rapidly, cursing when the damn things take forever, and then I feel heat on the side of my face. I turn to look back the way I came and find Dixon’s mom leaning against the door frame of the room, just watching me with that creepy smile.

  The elevator dings open and I go to rush in, only to bump into a stretcher.

  “Shit, sorry,” I say as I back away.

  “Seb?” Dixon’s voice hits me and relief is immediate. “Wh
at are you doing here?” he sounds groggy and out of it.

  “I wanted to make sure you were okay before I went home for the holidays.” I follow the stretcher as the nurses push it back towards his room.

  “Looks like a severe strain,” he huffs and rolls his eyes, “I’ll be out tomorrow.”

  “That’s good.” They push him into the room and his mom looks from him to me, giving me that creeped out feeling again. “Anyways, I should go. I got a long drive ahead of me.”

  “Alright man,” Dixon holds out his hand and I grasp it, “thanks for coming by.”

  “Happy holidays,” I say to him and his mother.

  “Merry Christmas,” his mother replies, her eyes on mine like a hawk’s.

  I walk out of that hospital and back to the Hummer, my mind flicking through everything between Dixon and me. Could she have overheard us that first time? I get inside the Hummer and drive back to my house. I have a long drive in the morning and I don’t want to spend what time I could be sleeping by worrying about secrets coming to the surface.

  Rochester has a nasty rep, not that it hasn’t been earned.

  The good folk stay away but I can never wait to get back here. My wife and child live in Tribeca and that’s as close as they’ll ever get to Rochester. Paola grew up in Rochester with me and we both agreed Carla would not be subjected to it. I don’t think she needs to be tough like we were growing up here. She needs to be tough in other ways, especially because she’ll have money, and she’ll be my only child.

  Delano’s small house is lit up with Christmas lights and the scraggly bushes in the front have Christmas ornaments on them. I remember we never had much to give each other for Christmas but we always decorated and had a good time. I unload the bags I have in the back; I bought him and his mom some food, and there’s clothing as well. There was a time they gave me everything they could and I never miss an opportunity to give back.

  Delano also has three boys. I leave the back open because it’s filled with gifts for them to open Christmas morning. I open the front door and the screams of kids assault my ears. Thank god I only have the one.