Let’s go back to my mother in her room.
“Why aren’t you at work? Don’t you have class? You shouldn’t be sitting with your broke down mother here amongst the dying and the dead.”
Her sharpness had returned, fleeting but was there, and when she smiled I knew she was kidding.
“Mama, I like to sit with you.”
“Naomi, you’re tired. You looked drained.”
“It’s nothing. I burn both ends of the candle, so when the ends meet they meet…”
“…in the middle. That’s my mother’s saying. But when they meet in the middle there’s no more wax and then there’s no more flame. Then Naomi is wrecked and exhausted.”
“You were wrecked for twenty years so that I could have a home.”
“Any good parent does that.”
“I know of no parent who works night shifts and then buses to their day jobs after. And while you were gone I was always cared for and never worried for a second where you were.”
“Now, look what that got me!” She grinned. My mother was kidding. She’d often been a hellion, loving her men, but if she ever took a day for herself, that day I can’t recall.
“What got you was random selection.”
“Enough. I know where I am. What I do not know is when this discussion will fade to nothing but blackness. What the fuck did Aeric do?”
“Mother! That’s a touch blunt.”
“I curse. I drink. I smoke. Three pleasures, along with screwing, that I could do while I worked. You see Naomi, your father…”
“Jesus! Hahaha! I know! There’s no need to mention it again!”
“The padre had a big cock! I was on the clock when he tapped my ass! He shot a tiny you into me!”
“Okay! Okay! I hear you! Have you been smoking again?”
“Answer my question please.”
I told her the truth from the beginning to the end and even played some of the audio. She wanted to stab Aeric and the whore, though she thought thirty-grand was more than reasonable and she would’ve done the same.
“I wouldn’t have posed as a physician. I’ve always had a fantasy of being trapped in a rig, at a truck stop, sequestered by a cult. A cult running a sex crazed trucking company with men in thongs to ravage me. I’d get to travel and eat french fries. Wear hats with mesh in the back.”
“Mama, your attitude is incredible.”
“The attitude is all I’ve got. My brain and body are slowly failing me.”
“Advice?”
“Of course sweetheart. Can I answer out on the sun porch? I’m kinda famous with the staff as you know. The security guard, his name is Alvin, sneaks me smokes and whiskey and cheeseburgers.”
“No comment. I’ll leave that be.”
We meandered then spoke to Alvin. He was loving, kind and eighty. Mama said Alvin wanted to kill but had never drawn his weapon. Forty years as a cop in Waco, Texas and it didn’t leave his holster. Now he was security, at a place that didn’t need it, to give him something to do. My mother wanted to tell him about the imposter, but she didn’t, the stress might kill him, knowing he’d failed in his job. She said “to make up for her he might shoot a pizza guy or unload on the laundry man.”
We sat with the sun streaming through the glass, but as we spoke a cloud moved towards it. The flowers had been covered against frost. The tan sacking over each and every single plant lovingly placed for the dark.
“Mama, give me a second. I have to go to the restroom.”
“Take your time honey. I’ll be here.”
I walked into the bathroom where Aeric snorted coke and where he came back out to betray me. I sat and as the stream ran from my body I thought about what he’d thought. Did he know before he came into this room what would happen later that night? Were there texts about the woods and Aquilla? Had he taken other women there before?
“My mother will have an opinion. Her advice has always been good.”
I finished, washed my hands and returned to our chairs. My mother’s seat was empty. She wasn’t in the room or the hallway. I thought an attendant might have taken her away so I sat for a while and waited. To my front in the garden where the flowers were planted came my mother with Alvin’s assistance. He was walking her timidly and holding her arm and she was trembling and bobbing her head. I left my place and then the building, circling around to the gate where they entered, as Alvin waved me forward.
“Thank you Alvin. She loves it here.”
“She ain’t with us no more,” he said.
The tears came and they were salty when they welled from my eyes as Alvin brought her to me. She faced me and tilted her head.
“Child. Don’t cry. They’re covered for the frost. Tomorrow the sacks will be off. Maybe then you can come and see them.”
“Yes mam. I will.”
“Very good.”
“Mama, I love you.”
Nothing.
Empty air between us.
Aeric
She came back to work. Never missed a shift. But she isn’t mine anymore. Not that she ever was. When I speak to Naomi she calls me “Mr. Copeland” and asks what I “might need.” Naomi was efficient before. Hardly ever made a mistake. Now she doesn’t make any. If you could combine Vishy and Naomi, take their best qualities and merge them, you’d have a twin Naomi.
A month passed before she spoke directly. She was at her desk and the payroll was done and it was she who asked the question. I stared at her face without answering. So she asked it again the same way.
“Why the hell did you triple my salary?”
She then had me. I’m now staring.
“Why the hell did you triple my salary? There was a direct deposit of $4,700 and that’s triple what I signed on for.”
“Naomi…I…”
“You what? If I make $4,700 every two damn weeks, that’s $9,400 a month. That’s $112,800 a year. You tripled my salary out of guilt. I’m supposed to be earning a third of that after my raise for replacing Vishy.”
“You’re being shown you’re appreciated.”
“Did your father sign off on that?”
I told the truth. “No, he didn’t.”
“Mr. Copeland, listen, to wake you up, because apparently in the world of the entitled, you don’t breathe the same air we do. Normal humans that struggle every single day, whether white, black, Hispanic or Asian. Green, purple, orange or tan, don’t suddenly have their salaries tripled! Do you understand why they don’t?”
“I cut out your taxes. You can easily pay the extra…”
“That’s not what I’m talking about! My mother has received complete care from the state based on our goddamned income! The man who made that happen isn’t in this office, nor is he on this planet! I don’t earn, here, in this wonderful job, the salary you now casually pay me!”
“Look, Naomi, my father won’t ever see it. The Copeland’s payroll per week is over ten million dollars and that’s climbing because business is good. We’ve been doing…”
“We Mr. Copeland! Not we! You’ve been deserted in Waco, Texas with a fifty room squat named The Comfort! Your job takes twenty minutes, every other day, and you can’t even do that right!”
“I said I’m sorry but you won’t discuss it. It’s my way to apologize.”
Naomi calmed quickly. Like someone turning down a stove eye. That, or unplugging a grinder.
“I don’t want your apology or your money. I choose not to listen to you. I’ve remained in this job because I can go to school and my house is in walking distance. My mother is also close. If you have it in your mind that I’m here to punish you or waiting for you to fix this, then sir, you are wrong. I’m past you, disgusted with what you’ve done, and if you press me that smacks of harassment, and there are those that would love to represent me.”
“Naomi, you’d be eaten alive. My father’s attorneys…”
“Are you threatening me?”
“No, listen, I’m sorry.”
�
�You think for a second there’s not security footage of your drug use and that dealer? And yes, of course, I know it will vanish. Is that want you want to say?”
“No Naomi. I was listening.”
“You think I don’t have copies of your buys? Mr. Copeland, this is Texas and they don’t give a shit about your daddy’s international corporation. I know people like me are chopped to pieces daily by the whims of your father and his associates. As to that, I don’t really care. You will be rescued from all of your mistakes and that enabling will continue to ruin you. Look what it’s done so far? The chance for normalcy was placed at your feet and you allowed it to be taken away.”
“I haven’t touched any drugs since you…”
“Not YOU! Don’t point it at me! Don’t you say I went away! Don’t suggest that I left you!”
I shut my mouth. I deserved this. Everything Naomi was saying. I told her gently that I would restore her salary and that our relationship would become all business. As if we’d never been. Nor would ever be. Part of me was lying because what she said was right. Pointedly and accurately aimed. I’ve been consistently and regularly rescued from my blunders, though I’ve asked for the consequences. My father’s response is always the same: “you in fucking prison? Aeric Copeland locked away. You have to be shitting me! You can’t even balance a budget! They’d shiv your ass in a day!”
I said one last thing to Naomi.
“I’ve moved out of room thirteen. I’m renting a little house…” I stopped. Naomi doesn’t care.
“Thank you Mr. Copeland. I’ll remember that. Will there be anything else required? Anything you need me to do?”
“No. thank you Naomi.”
Naomi
Mason is a nurse at the facility. He’s twenty-eight years old and has never been married and loves to work with Alzheimer’s patients. He’s been caring for my mother for the last few weeks since he left a clinic out in West. I’ve seen him there, though I’ve only nodded, because my last few visits have been stressful. There’s too much going on. I prefer limited drama congregating in my life, though as of late I seem to invite it, and when it comes it tends to remain.
After we had our discussion I drove straight to the home. Being around Aeric wears me to a frazzle but I want and need the job. Except for him the work and hours are ideal and I suppose he’ll let me be. Maybe, I don’t know.
Mama was awake with Mason reading in Spanish and they were cheery and she was smiling. His accent, pace and pronunciation were better than my own grandmother’s. Mama’s hair was wet and the room smelled of flowers. In a vase in the corner were a dozen roses, though there wasn’t a card attached. I entered quietly, then interrupted.
“Excuse me. I beg your pardon.”
“Naomi!” My mother was pleased to see me. Perhaps no storm today.
Mason said “I’m sorry. I’ll go down the hall and let you ladies visit.”
“No, please stay,” I responded. “What’s the highly intellectualized reading? It sounds rather advanced.”
“Carlos Fuentes,” replied my mother. “It is ‘rather advanced.’ Mason reads like the Mexican he isn’t.”
Mason, green eyed with blonde hair, grinned his perfect white smile. “I served in the missions for a bit. Three tours in South America.”
“Mason, this is Naomi.” He came over and extended his hand. He dead locked with my eyes, his head ducking with a bow, and I thought he would kiss my knuckles. He said “Naomi, nice to meet you.”
“Hellfire Mason, don’t do that. We’re informal hereabouts.” Mama then beamed, gestured towards the flowers, saying “look what your influence did.”
“Mama, are those from Alvin? He probably can’t get an erection. He won’t do you a lick of good.”
Mason laughed and my mother joined in. “The entire place got a dozen per room. As did the staff, all the way down. Compliments of Copeland Industries. They randomly donated a hundred and fifty grand. Your influence seems to be growing. The mega wealthy are writing large checks. Has your vagina been busy dear?”
“Mother! My God! Don’t say that?” That’s Aeric’s father being a prick. Aeric doesn’t have that much insight.
I bent down to kiss my mother on the forehead. My skirt crawled my thigh and though I left it alone, Mason being male did not. His eyes in the reflection of my mother’s palm mirror, which was sitting at the side of her bed, reflected him ogling my ass. When I turned he was red in the face. My saucy mother couldn’t leave it alone.
“Can’t blame you Mason. If I was a man, I’d have myself a gander. She gets those legs and that ass from me.”
“My God! Mother! He just met me!”
“Don’t be such a goddamned prude. I’ll never get out of this place. At least give me a chance to make a match. Mason, you should ask her out. She’s a fun date, though unlike me, you want get it straight from the gate. In my time fingering was huge. Happened almost immediately. Now I hear that a finger up the butt is like a kiss back in 1980. I thought Naomi would be looser than she is.”
“I see the new medication is helping her sleep. And it has her in really good spirits.”
“I think so,” Mason replied.
“Jesus Christ! Stop speaking like I’m not in the room! You’ve got your whole goofy lives to live!”
“I wish my other four patients were just like your mother.”
I replied “really? You want to start drinking?”
“She,” he said, bending around me, to include her in the conversation, “is the reason I come to work. Where else can I read my airy Spanish novels to a woman who was present at Woodstock?”
“Bullshit! Mother, you were not!”
“The hell I wasn’t! I never told you! I was a little girl on a summer program sent close to that farm to work. From our little cabin you could hear the whole thing. It was like being on the stage. When Hendrix played the National Anthem I was in a tree just a listening. I remember the wa-wa-wa. That crowd was stunned with respect. As for myself I was stunned in the tree.”
“My grandparents sent you alone? What the hell were those people thinking? You were only…”
“I was little but I could work. Kids were tougher back then. I made a thousand dollars in cash. Got back to Waco with every dime in my pocket, minus the cost of my bus ticket. There was a group of us. That world wasn’t crazy. You should’ve seen those hippies screwing. That’s the first time I ever toked.”
Mason was doubled over laughing. My mother kept going, about as detailed as the bible, unleashing a flurry of stories that were shockingly and offensively graphic. She finished with a tale about an orgy.
“I saw these beautiful people, a pack of six or eight, greased with suntan lotion on a blanket. They looked like snakes just a moaning and a fuckin’. Though a child I knew to watch. I never shied away from that. I figured the more you knew early, the better prepared you were, and I mean those fuckers could hunch. There were at least a hundred people circled to watch. Men in women and women in men, people coming and screaming and loving. I’ve seen days of pornos, because I love watching flicks, but I’ve never seen emotion like that. It is indelibly etched in my mind. So when are you two going on your date? I’ve done the best that I could with what I can tell you and since you’re laughing you might as well close it.”
Mason asked me out for the following week. A date I would never forget. This would begin a time in my life where one thing would arc and become something else and that thing would burn forever. Though one thing was already lit.
Aeric
Simply put, I’m not worth having. I can’t look at myself as a victim. I lost the only thing that could have saved me. The only woman that was real. That wanted me or the man I let her believe I was until she found out the truth. My father was raised the same as me and like his father he became a horror. A terrible person brilliant with business, but personally a fucking vulture. He always waits until people are weak. Whether its companies that he knows are on their knees or other people
open to advantage. He’ll sit and watch and wait until they’re feeble and then strike to destroy them. I’m done with cocaine but I did see my dealer driving down Valley Mills Drive. He was in a G Wagon the same as mine and since I knew what the vehicles cost I waved him over to ask a question. The kid is young and uncomfortable, new in the trade, a product of enabling like me. His parents stepped in at every opportunity and wrote a check whenever he faltered. And now his job is slinging dope. Here we are, two trust fund kids. Seller and buyer alike.
“Hello Aeric. You buying my man?”
“I am not. And no party favors. I’m done with the shit for good. Aren’t you putting a few too many sets of eyes on your person by driving this?”
The kid looks no older than twenty. Clean shaven, blue-eyed with two gold earrings and an attitude he cannot support.
“It’s the very same model and year as yours and exactly the identical color.”
“That I know. That I can see. You pay sticker?”
“No, I did not.”
He doesn’t have the brains to deceive me. I’ll walk him into the truth.
“You didn’t buy it here. No way.”
“No sir Mr. Copeland. I didn’t.”
“Making payments?”
“My business is cash. No payments. You know that.”
“Did my father buy it and deliver it to you? Already tagged and insured through the year?”
The Book of F*ck Page 6
