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You’ll kill the ones you love…
Aiden’s forehead pressed against mine. “Seth was there for you when you needed someone. You guys share this bond that… that is more than him connecting with you. We broke the connection, but there’s something else underneath that. He’s a part of you. ”
I drew in a surprised breath. “He’s… he’s done such terrible things. ”
“He has. ” Aiden pressed a kiss to my temple. “But he has done some good things, and I know you can’t forget how he used to be. I know none of this will be easy for you. ”
Killing Seth would break a piece of me, and no matter how long I walked this earth afterward, it couldn’t be repaired. He was a part of me—a part that was a bit insane—but still. It would change me in a way I couldn’t fathom. Just as facing down my mom had. But this time was different.
Apollo didn’t want me to kill Seth; he wanted me to strip him of his power. Knowing Seth, he’d probably prefer death. And if Seth figured out what I was up to, he’d come after me. So I would have to stop him—kill him. Killing Seth would be the only way I walked out of this alive.
“Alex?” Aiden whispered. “Talk to me, agapi mou”
“Don’t be afraid. ” My voice was hoarse. “I’ll be… okay. ”
His hand slipped to the nape of my neck, and he held on as if he could keep me there forever. “You’ll tell me that you’ll be okay. And you’ll act like you’re okay, but…”
I squeezed my eyes shut. Aiden would know better. Seconds passed in silence. The truth was on the tip of my tongue, burning me from the inside out. I wanted to tell him what could happen—I really needed to—but putting that on him wasn’t fair. Time stretched out, but it wasn’t enough.
“‘You will kill the ones you love. ’” My laugh was dry and brittle. “I hate that damn oracle. ”
Aiden’s fingers splayed across my cheek. “If I could change this, I would. I’d do anything to save you from this. ”
“I know. ” I tipped my head a little to the side and kissed him softly. “But Fate is a bitch. ”
“Or a bastard,” he said lightly.
I laughed, because whenever Aiden cussed, I couldn’t help it. It sounded wrong rolling off his tongue, but still elegant, somehow. Like a British person cussing. Anyway, I just couldn’t talk about this anymore. I didn’t even want to think about it, but I’d need a brain scrub to fix that.
Leaning forward, I looped my arms around his neck and all but climbed into his lap. “Can we talk about something else?”
Aiden looked like he was going to argue, but he nodded.
Staring into his eyes, I thought back to the days when he used to pop in and watch me train. That made me smile. “I used to think you were the source of my failure. ”
“What?” He arched a brow as he wrapped his arms around my waist.
“I could never get things right when you were around, especially when you used to watch me in class. ” I shrugged. “I wanted to be perfect in your eyes. I wanted you to be proud of me. ”
“I am. ”
I beamed at him, smiling for real for the first time since this conversation began. “But you’re kind of like my source of strength, even when I couldn’t concentrate because of you. ”
Aiden tilted his head to the side, causing his lips to graze my cheek. “We had the same problem then. ”
“Doubtful. ”
“You have no idea how hard it was. ” Aiden sighed against my lips. “To train you—to be so close when all I wanted…”
There was a flutter in my chest. “What did you want?”
He leaned in, his warm breath becoming my world. “How about I show you?”
Oh, I so liked where this was heading. So much better than the doom and gloom crap that wanted to pull me under, bringing Aiden along with me. “I’m down with that. ”
Laughing softly, he erased that miniscule distance and I let out a little sigh. If he kissed me like that every couple of hours, it would keep the darkness at bay. It would obliterate everything I feared and would probably come to regret. My world would be close to perfect.
There was a knock, and we drew apart an instant before the door swung open and Deacon’s mop of a head popped in. Aiden groaned, but his eyes lightened by several shades.
“Good morning!” Too much cheer rang in his voice for this time of the morning.
My cheeks burned as I mumbled, “Morning. ”
Before either of us could say another word, Deacon darted from the door and launched himself onto the bed, soaring through the air like a human projectile. I jerked to the side with a split-second to spare. He landed with his legs on his brother and the upper part of his body between us.
Deacon threw his arms behind his head, folding them as he tipped his head back and grinned at us. “It’s like a puppy pile. ”
“A puppy pile?” Aiden arched a brow. “You are so weird. ”
“Whatever. ” Deacon’s gray eyes flicked to me. “Was I interrupting anything?”
Aiden rolled his eyes and I fought a grin. “Not at all, brother. ”
“Good, because you guys better get your butts in gear. We’re leaving in an hour. ” Deacon crossed his ankles, letting out a content sigh. “Time to hit the road. ”
I tucked my hair back, wondering how much coffee he’d had to be up this early and this hyper. “You’re so unnaturally wound up. ”
“I’m excited,” he replied. “I’m looking at this road trip like a real life game of Oregon Trail. ”
My brows rose. “Are you going to catch typhoid fever?”
“Actually, I was thinking about breaking a leg or drowning. ”
“There’s always starving to death. ” My lips split into a grin. “Or you could get kidnapped by Indians. ”
Deacon’s eyes widened dramatically. “They’d want me for my glorious blond locks. ”
“It’s about time someone cut your hair. ” Aiden mussed the already unruly curls and then threw the covers back. “I’m taking a shower. ”
The look Aiden sent me said he hadn’t planned on doing it alone, and my stomach did all kinds of crazy twists and turns. It didn’t help that he strode across the room in all his bare-chested glory. The heat that zinged through my veins was hard to deny, but Deacon apparently wasn’t going anywhere.
I waited until Aiden closed the door and I heard the hiss of the shower before I glanced down at his younger brother. “What?”
His lips tipped up on one side. “We need to chat. ”
Having no clue what was going to come out of his mouth, but positive it would be entertaining, I wiggled down and stretched out beside him. “Okay. About what?”
“You need to stay alive. ”
Okay, so not what I was expecting. “I’m not planning to off myself, Deacon. ”
“No, but you have that look of someone who is facing down death, practically even expects it. ” Deacon paused and his gaze went to the bare rafters in the ceiling. “I know what that looks like. I saw it in the mirror for a long time. ”
My mouth opened, but I couldn’t find any words.
He laughed dryly. “I hated living after seeing what’d happened to my parents and those other people. If it hadn’t been for Aiden, I wouldn’t have survived. I shouldn’t have survived. Neither should he. ” He gave a lopsided shrug. “I guess I had a mad case of survivor’s guilt or something lame like that. Every time I drank or got high, I secretly hoped that I would overdo it, you know?”
As his words sank in, my chest ached. I reached over, placing my hand on his arm. “Deacon…”
“Ah, I’m okay now. I think I am, at least. But you know why I never really went there?” Deacon turned his head toward me and I knew what he meant. “I wasn’t scared of death, but I was scared of what me dying would do to him. ”
Deacon nodded at the bathroom door and my gaze followed his. I couldn’t see Aiden and I knew he couldn’t hear us, but my heart was pound
ing like I’d just run up a thousand steps.
“He wouldn’t get past losing you,” I said, swallowing hard. “He’s so strong, but…”
“It would kill him. I know. Losing you would kill him. ”
A cold chill washed over me, like I’d stepped into a freezer. Sitting up swiftly, I tugged my hair over one shoulder. “Why are you telling me this?”
“You’ve had that same look ever since you came back from the Underworld. ” There was a pause, and he looked at me with all the seriousness no one ever gave him credit for, and in that moment he reminded me so much of Aiden. “Whatever you do, don’t break my brother’s heart. You are his world. And if you leave it, it will destroy him. ”
CHAPTER 30
Our Hummer was the party car—the cool one. Or at least that’s what I believed. Between Luke and Deacon, the ten-hour drive to the wilds of South Dakota wasn’t turning out to be that bad. Poor Marcus looked like he wanted to duct tape the two boys’ mouths shut after two hours of their nonstop rundown of the last season of Supernatural. I wasn’t complaining. Then, Luke moved on to this new show about thrones and dragons, which he tried to explain to Aiden. Considering that Aiden was a fan of old black-and-white TV shows, Luke wasn’t getting very far.
Marcus looked like he had a headache, which mirrored how I felt. It had nothing to do with the boys’ chatter or the ridiculous—but hilarious—car games they insisted on playing. And I was pretty sure that, if Deacon leaned between the seats and punched Aiden on the arm one more time he saw a Beetle, Aiden was going to the pull the car over and strangle him.
I was also sure Marcus would hold Deacon down. The man had to have a wicked bruise on his leg from the last punch Deacon had delivered.
But after the fourth hour, restlessness set in. Minutes from turning into the kid the parent threatens to turn the car around on, I tried to get some rest. It wasn’t like the scenery was much to look at. Lots of fields. Then lots of hills. Then lots of trees. Boredom itched at my skin as I stared at the wards, drawn in Titan blood throughout the car, that kept the gods from sensing me. But the fact that I was stuck in the vehicle for the foreseeable future wasn’t the worst part. The steadily increasing throbbing in my temples sent a nervous rush through my system.
Seth was there, pecking away, waiting for that moment he could pop in and have a chat. Part of me almost welcomed it, because it would be something to do, but that was so stupid. Talking with Seth wouldn’t help anything. He was on one side of the fence and I was clear on the other side.
I didn’t want to think at all.
Twisting in the seat, my eyes met my uncle’s. I smiled as he nodded at Deacon. The pure had finally passed out, with his cheek plastered against the window. Beside him, Luke was staring out the window, jaw locked down tight.
Not wanting to wake the talkative beast, I said nothing and turned back around. My booted foot slid over the sickle blade resting on the floor. We were just as stocked and well-armed as we’d been when we drove to Kansas.
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