Chasing Xander

by Lexi Lawton

  After calling the home to check in on her grandmother, Kylie turned to face Hannah. “Thank you so much.”

  “No problem at all. Will I see you and your roommate at the event tonight?”

  “Oh, um, what’s going on tonight?” She couldn’t remember what she’d done with the schedule Hannah had given her.

  “It’s Battle of the Rooms Trivia night.” She smiled.

  “Yeah, I’ll talk it over with Celeste.” Other than “going out,” they didn’t have any concrete plans. It might be a good night to stay in and get to know the other residents on the floor. With a wave and another thank you, she left.

  Once she was back in her room, she dug her phone from the rice. Xander had told her to leave it put for a couple of days—it had only been one—but she was anxious to have her phone back. She put the pieces together and held her breath as she turned on the power. The screen lit up, and she blew out a breath. So far so good. She opened her contacts and scrolled through them. Then she opened her messages followed by all of her apps. Everything seemed to be working.

  She sent a quick text to Celeste: Phone working again!

  Celeste: LOL. Ran into Finn. Did you forget to tell me something?

  “Oh shit.” Kylie cupped her hand over her mouth. The picture. She typed back a response: Sorry. FWIW, you’re a lucky girl. LOL. As soon as Kylie hit send, she frowned. Celeste wasn’t looking for a boyfriend or even a hookup, yet that’s exactly what she got. Kylie, on the other hand, wanted to find a boyfriend, a guy she could have fun hanging out with. Instead, she got a guy who couldn’t make up his damn mind about her.

  Celeste: I’m going to tell him you said that.

  Her eyes widened, and her heart lodged in her throat. Don’t you dare!! If Xander found out she’d said something like that… Of course, maybe that’s what it would take to get him to stop acting so weird toward her.

  Celeste: Chill. But you’re right. I am lucky.

  Laughing, Kylie shook her head and tossed her phone on the bed. She was determined to get a start on her paper before Celeste returned and they went out for the night. But even after unpacking her books and studying her notes, she couldn’t come up with a single word to write. With a frustrated sigh, she pushed her books to the floor and stood. Her phone dinged with a new message. She assumed it was Celeste again and was surprised to see Xander’s number.

  She opened the message, and her heart raced. Hey. Can we talk?

  She stared at the text, rereading it a couple times. A nagging voice in the back of her mind warned her this wasn’t going to be a pleasant conversation. Her fingers trembled as she sent a reply. Sure. When and where?

  Xander: Now. I’m on my way to you.

  He was on his way here? To her room? She swallowed hard. No one else was here, which meant… They were going to be alone together. She tugged at the collar of her T-shirt, suddenly very warm. It’s not like they hadn’t been alone before. But it felt different this time, more ominous.

  The knock on the door startled her. Get a grip, Ky. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Xander stood on the other side, smiling, sexy as ever. His dark hair was mussed, like he’d rolled out of bed not too long ago.

  “You didn’t show up for study group,” she blurted out.

  “No, I didn’t. I’m sorry.”

  She hesitated, waiting for an explanation that didn’t come. “Right. You wanted to talk?”

  “Can I come in?”

  She stepped aside to let him enter. He took a seat on Celeste’s bed. Kylie sat on her own, across from him. “What’s up?”

  He rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed his hands over his face. “I wanted to say I’m sorry, again, for bailing on our date tonight.”

  “Oh, that?” She waved her hand as if it were no big deal, refusing to let him know how disappointed she really was. “Don’t worry. Celeste and I are planning to go out.”

  Nodding, Xander stood. “Well, I just wanted to say sorry. Have a good time with Celeste tonight.”

  “Wait. What? That’s it?” She studied him for a moment, then stood. “You came all the way over here just for that?” She crossed her arms and tilted her head. There was a knot in her stomach, a gut feeling there was something he wasn’t saying.

  He stepped up to her and put his hands on her shoulders. He bent his knees so he was eye level with her. “I like you, Ky.”

  Her breath hitched. That was the first time he’d called her Ky, and the sound of him using her nickname sent a thrill through her. It was so soft and endearing. “I like you, too,” she whispered.

  He broke into a sexy smile that was lethal to her senses. He straightened to his full height, dragged his hands down her arms, and took her hands, lacing their fingers. Then he released her just as quickly. She had the urge to grab him and pull him close again. But before she could, he’d reached for the doorknob and opened the door. He stopped and turned back to her.

  “I’ll call you as soon as my meeting is over tonight. We’ll make plans for this weekend, okay?”

  “Okay.” She nodded. “Is that really all you wanted to talk about?”

  Xander caressed her cheek and smiled. “No, but it’s not important anymore.” He dropped his hand abruptly, said a quick good-bye, then left. Kylie stepped into the hall and watched him walk away. She was more confused now than she was before. He said he liked her, but he wasn’t nearly as affectionate as he had been last night or that morning. With a shake of her head, she went back into her room and closed the door. Even though she had no idea what was up with him, at least he hadn’t told her he didn’t want to see her anymore.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The entire weekend passed without so much as a text from Xander. And now that it was Monday, she sat in Professor Jamison’s class trying not to stare at the door, waiting for Xander to show his face. If he even had the balls to show up. Knowing him, he’d probably ditch and blow her off again. She frowned.

  “I’m sure he has a good reason for not calling you,” Celeste said for what seemed like the millionth time.

  Yeah, a good reason—like he was hooking up with some other girl. Probably that chick from the party. She gripped her pen so tight, her knuckles turned white. “Are you sure Finn didn’t say anything?” She was desperate for some sort of reassurance that she was only being paranoid.

  “Finn said he hasn’t seen much of Xander at all this weekend. Maybe he had some family stuff come up.” Celeste offered a sympathetic smile.

  No matter what his reason, he had no excuse for not sending a text, at the very least. Especially considering he said he’d call, said they’d make plans to hang out. Even though she and Celeste had stayed busy all weekend, she’d obsessively checked her phone for messages. And it hadn’t helped her mood any that the few sororities they’d check out had been lame. Ultimately, they’d decided not to pledge, at least not this year. Maybe they’d consider it again next fall.

  Professor Jamison cleared his throat, pushed his glasses up his nose, and then moved toward the door to close it. Before he could, Xander slipped in, mumbling what she assumed was an apology, and then he made a beeline straight toward her. He sat in the seat next to her, out of breath. Kylie made a point of shifting her body away from him.

  “All right. Did anyone here not do the assigned reading?” Professor Jamison took his position at the front of the lecture hall and pushed his glasses up his nose.

  Several hands shot into the air. Xander’s, however, did not. She sliced a look at him. He stared straight ahead, oblivious to her. She slumped in her chair and forced herself to pay attention during class, which wasn’t an easy thing to do. She attempted to take notes, but she kept transposing numbers or missing what the professor said altogether. He might as well have been speaking gibberish. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she closed her notebook and gave up on taking notes.

  Beside her, Xander’s gaze continuously shifted between the white board at the front of the room and his notes, completely engrossed
in the lecture. Wow, he’s got really neat handwriting. Yeah, not really what she needed to be focused on right now. But paying attention to his penmanship was better than paying attention to his face. Or his dark, soulful eyes. Or his full, kissable lips. Or the smell of his cologne. She groaned.

  “I don’t feel well. I’m leaving,” she whispered to Celeste. Kylie closed her books, tossed them into her backpack, and left the room. In the hall, she leaned against the wall and took several deep breaths to rid her senses of Xander, to clear her nose of his enticing scent.

  “Ky? You all right?”

  Shit. Why on earth had he followed her out of class? He couldn’t be bothered with her all weekend, and now he suddenly cared? Fuck that. She straightened, adjusted the strap of her backpack, and walked by him.

  He chased after her and clutched her arm. “Kylie.” He gently turned her to face him.

  She jerked her arm from his grasp. “What?”

  “Hey, easy.” He held up his hands in a show of surrender. “You left so fast. I was worried.”

  “Well, don’t be. I’m fine.”

  He frowned. “No, you’re not fine. You’re pissed.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “Wouldn’t you be pissed, too, if I promised to call and hang out and then disappeared off the face of the earth?”

  He stared at her, eyes wide, as if he were trying to decide if she was serious. She held his gaze, refusing to back down. She didn’t want to stand there and flip out like some crazy, possessive girlfriend. They weren’t even dating. But she also wasn’t going to let him think that it was okay to break a promise. Her entire childhood had been built on empty promises, and she’d sworn to herself never to put up with that again. “I told you not to make promises you couldn’t keep. I wasn’t joking about that.” She shook her head, refusing to let him know just how sharp and deep the pain of disappointment cut into her. It was like her heart was pumping razor blades through her veins.

  After a moment, he broke their silent staring contest. “Shit.” He dragged his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry.”

  She closed her eyes and blew out a breath. He sounded sincere, and there was remorse in his expression.

  “I’m a dick for not calling you, and I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, I thought about you all weekend.”

  “What happened?” She returned her gaze to his. Please let him have a really good reason for blowing me off.

  He reached for her hand, but she moved away before he could touch her. His arm fell to his side, and a look of dread filled his expression. “I had something come up.”

  “What?” She crossed her arms over her chest. Why was he avoiding giving her an answer? What was he hiding? She narrowed her eyes and studied him. He wasn’t looking away, which was a good thing, she supposed, but he wasn’t answering, either.

  It was on the tip of her tongue to ask if he’d met someone else, if he’d been with another woman all weekend. Why else wouldn’t he call or text? Surely, whatever had come up hadn’t taken every single second of every day. Right? But deep down, she didn’t want the answer.

  “I’ve been dealing with…stuff.” He frowned.

  He’s been dealing with stuff? That was his explanation? “You’re not the only one dealing with stuff. I’ve got a lot of shit going on, too, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take a few seconds to text you.”

  “You’re right.” He hung his head. “I fucked up.”

  Kylie sighed and shifted on her feet. He had fucked up. He’d hurt her, made her question whether she was good enough for him, but in the grand scheme of mistakes he could’ve made, this wasn’t that huge of a deal.

  “I’m sorry.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked up at her. “Can I make it up to you?”

  “You can try.”

  The corner of his mouth quirked up. “Let me buy you lunch after class.”

  Is he serious? “You think lunch is going to make this all better?” She shifted on her feet. “You’re going to have to do a lot better than that.”

  He let out a surprised laugh and raised a brow. “All right.”

  She didn’t care how sexy he looked right now; she was not going to let him off the hook so easily. “You’ve ditched me twice now, Xander. You can’t give me that look and expect everything to be okay.”

  “What look is that, exactly?” He smiled, his dimple making an appearance at the same moment his eyes did that sparkly thing.

  Damn him.

  He stepped closer, and she sucked in a breath. This right here—the teasing, the laughing, the fluttering stomach and heart—was why she was so upset. Xander made her happy, and she didn’t want to lose that.

  Their faces were inches apart. “How about lunch and dinner tonight? No, every day this week.”

  She placed her hands on his chest, a teasing smirk on her lips. “I’m starting to think you have an unhealthy obsession with feeding me.”

  “What can I say? I like watching you put things in your mouth.” He winked, then cringed, which was weird considering he never seemed to care what he said before.

  She laughed. Happy warmth spread through her at the realization they were back to their normal, teasing banter. This was the Xander she wanted.

  “So?” He took her hands from his chest and brought them to his mouth, kissing each of them in turn. “Am I forgiven?”

  Goose bumps spread up her arms. “Lunch and dinner, huh?”

  “Mm-hmm.” He kissed each of her fingers, his heated gaze trained on her.

  Every nerve ending in her body was on fire, and she wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around his neck and demand he give her lips as much attention as he was giving her hands. “I want an explanation, too.”

  He froze mid-kiss. “What?”

  “I want to know what you were doing all weekend that kept you so busy.” If she was going to forgive him for breaking a promise, she needed to know why.

  “Okay.” He nodded. “But you’re going to be disappointed. My weekend was a bust.”

  “I doubt it.” So long as he didn’t mention another woman, she wouldn’t really care what he was doing.

  “Are you coming back to class?” he asked, releasing her hands.

  She really didn’t want to, but now that they were speaking again, sitting next to him wouldn’t be so bad. “I guess.”

  He put his arm around her shoulders and led her into the lecture hall. Professor Jamison didn’t so much as acknowledge them, but several other students watched them knowingly. She ignored them, and so did he.

  When class finally ended—which felt like hours later—Xander took her to Nelson Dining Hall. He grabbed a sandwich, chips, and cookies while she grabbed some fruit, water, and a salad. Then they went outside to sit beneath one of the trees behind the building.

  “So, spill it,” she said once they were settled.

  He nudged her shoulder with his. “Someone’s impatient.”

  “No. I’m just nosey.” She smiled.

  “Okay, but I have to warn you, this is really embarrassing, so please don’t laugh.”

  “I won’t.” She had no idea what he had to be embarrassed about, but he was finally willing to open up to her, and she wasn’t going to do anything to make him regret that.

  He took a deep breath. “I flunked a few classes last semester. My dad’s on my ass about it, threatening to cut off my trust fund if I don’t pass all of my classes this term. And to top it off, Brad, my fraternity president, is trying to use my academic probation as an excuse to get me kicked out of the house.”

  Kylie’s jaw dropped. Well, that wasn’t what she’d expected. She closed her mouth and cleared her throat.

  “And,” he continued before she could speak, “to make matters worse, I failed the first test in my Business Ethics class. My professor gave me an assignment to do to make up for the bad grade, but he only gave me the weekend to do it. So, I spent the last three days studying.”

  “I had no idea.” Could I have s
aid something dumber? Of course she didn’t know. How could she have? “You could have texted me, though, and told me you needed to do homework. I would’ve understood.”

  He nodded remorsefully. “I partied a little too hard last term, and it finally caught up with me. I’m sure if my dad knew I was close to being kicked out of RAT, he’d be thrilled. He hates that I joined a frat.” Xander shook his head, frowning. “It’s bad enough he thinks I’m a flunky. I don’t want him to think I’m a failure in other aspects of my life, too.”

  Her heart cracked at the way he talked about himself. “You’re not a failure.” She put her hand on his knee. “Thank you for telling me the truth.”

  He covered her hand with his. “Thank you for not laughing at me.”

  She nodded. Relief settled deep in her bones. Xander hadn’t been with anyone else. He hadn’t been out partying or getting drunk or even flirting with another girl.

  “Like I said, I’m dealing with a lot of shit right now.” He shifted so he was closer to her. He removed his hand from hers and trailed his finger over her bottom lip. “Which is why I think we should slow things down.”

  Her heart stopped, and her ears rang. Everything around her dulled. Slow things down? If they went any slower, she’d be old and gray before anything ever happened. “What?” She had to have misheard him.

  “I still want to hang out and get to know you. Even take you out on dates.” He nudged her shoulder with his. “But I have a lot at stake, and I don’t want to disappoint you again like I did this past weekend.” He brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face, his hand lingering on her cheek. “You understand, right?”

  “Yeah, of course.” Her voice was barely a whisper. Tears burned her throat and eyes. Was he being truthful? Or was this an elaborate excuse to distance himself from her completely?

  “Thank you.” He smiled warmly as his hand moved down to her neck, his fingers curling around her nape. She held her breath, waiting for him to close the distance and kiss her. Instead, he rested his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. “For what it’s worth, this is going to be the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever had to do.”